Chapter Text
“In boy’s planet, I was just satisfied founding a friend like you.”
Gunwook found himself replaying his own words on his head while brushing his teeth. It was the very first day after the Boy´s planet final and the first thing that came to his mind was the thought of Kum Junhyeon, his best friend. He wondered if he was thinking about him too, if he was feeling as troubled as him. In fact, Gunwook was way too happy to had made it, he knew how to acknowledge all the hard work he put on that show. At the end of the day, he always knew it was a competition, but, from the other hand, he was struggling to deal with all the broken promises he and Junhyeon made together once. The plan had been simple, at least at the start; they would work hard, they would be debuting together, achieving their most precious dream and they would live that new experience by each other´s side. Truth was, they would be debuting, but not together; they would be achieving the dream, but not side by side. He sighed, looking at himself in the mirror, and again, thought about what Junhyeon could be feeling right now.
Every day through the first week after the final, he would think about his best friend while staring at his kakaotalk username, asking himself if he should write him, daring to type a whole long message but ending up deleting it. He didn’t understand quite well why it was too hard to get himself to contact Junhyeon, but part of him knew he was getting hurt and hurt every passing day without receiving a message from him. At some point, it became a proud battle that he didn’t even know if he was playing alone. He kept with it a whole month anyway.
One day after one of the first zerobaseone photoshoots publishing, he was with Gyuvin at their room while the others were at the living room watching some tv show; his phone screen lighted up with a notification that he disinterestedly checked, but once he saw the remitter, he felt all of his body getting immediately freezing. It was Junhyeon.
Just saw the photoshoot. I can see that you´re now officially the second
most handsome korean man alive. I´m still the first, obviously :)
Gunwook stared at the text for a while, his heart was beating so hard he thought it might leave his chest. He stood up from the bed and went to the building hallway to take fresh air. He didn’t know if he wanted to reply, he didn’t know what to say even if he did, so he just kept staring at his phone until he heard someone walking outside the dorm too. It was Gyuvin, he looked worried and Gunwook just realized that the way he left the room before was suspiciously hasty.
“Are you still embarrassed to talk to your mom in front of me?” the elder joked, making Gunwook laugh, who slightly bumped him on the head, making him laugh as well.
“Don´t be so nosy, Kim Gyuvin. Not everyone is as single as you” he joked and the latter just gave him a look.
“Do you have a girlfriend?” the brown haired boy inquired with a sudden boost of curiosity, now was Gunwook who gave him a look.
“Just tell me what you want.” He laughed while putting his phone on his pocket, Gyuvin shook his head and shrugged.
“You seemed uneasy before, I was just checking on you, ungrateful bastard.” now Gunwook let out a loud laughed, patting the other´s shoulder.
After a hard time trying to convince Gyuvin that everything was completely fine, the younger returned inside and he was left alone once again with his restless thoughts and a message from Junhyeon. It took him a whole forty minutes to write something back, and when he finally did, a second after the message was sent, he regretted it.
I´m sorry, is this a fan? I´ll be glad to sign your shirt ;)
He was about to impulsively delete the text but it was immediately marked as read. He wildered his eyes and almost shock on his own gut when the screen showed the typing symbol.
Oppa, please, marry me! > <!!!
Gunwook smiled, feeling the way his body started to relax progressively. It was hard to believe that Junhyeon was texting him just as if nothing had happened. Thinking more deeply about it, it wasn’t that hard to believe, Junhyeon was just that light hearted.
So handsome! What do I do!!! > <
I´m blocking this number.
Don´t you fucking dare, idiot.
That´s better.
The conversation kept going for a whole hour, they were just joking, chatting vaguely; no pressure, no questions nor resentment, just them being them. And just like that, the missing puzzle from Gunwook´s heart was found.
Their kakaotalk conversation was getting longer and longer, they talked basically all day. Junhyeon would be texting him first hour in the morning while Gunwook was already in practice, and he would tell him every single thing he was doing through the day. They would tell each other goodnight and sometimes that would be almost at midnight.
Other month passed and Gunwook was clearly in a better mood. At that point, Gyuvin was completely convinced that Gunwook had a secret girlfriend, since he would spend all day on his phone, apparently texting, smiling to the screen with a face of an idiot in love, he would say. To that, Gunwook had surrender and let him think he was right, as long as he stops bothering him, which didn’t stop even so. He was happy anyway.
Junhyeon´s company started to promote their trainees way too efficiently, he would be doing fan meetings and performing some covers and even two songs of their own authorship. He was feeling better and better.
They both were getting more than busy, especially Gunwook with all of the debut stuff and the zerobaseone reality show. He even had to asked Junhyeon to buy him pants once.
One of those extremely busy and exhausting days, Gunwook was almost falling asleep but refusing to give in to it, because he didn’t want to sleep without a text from Junhyeon, who told him earlier that day that he would be mainly busy but will be free to text at least an hour before he nods off. It wasn’t a big deal, though, he knew they would be talking again next day in the morning anyway, but now he was just too used to their goodnight texts that getting himself to just sleep without it was harder than he thought.
Gyuvin was already sleeping peacefully in bed at the other extreme of their room, and for a moment, Gunwook wondered why he was always bothering him with all that girlfriend topic. Was him being especially weird talking with Junhyeon? Or was it just the amount of time he spends doing it? The real question was, why was he even hiding it. Gyuvin was one of his closest friends, and he even was friends with Junhyeon, but, somehow, he felt like he didn’t want to share Junhyeon; like he was, not particularly his “girlfriend”, but in fact a very treasured secret.
His eyes closed, he couldn’t help it, but as soon as he felt his body slowly giving in to sleep, his phone started ringing. He quickly got up to take the phone on his hands just to stop the noise, he didn’t even check who was calling that late at night. The phone was already on his ear and he sighted in relief to see the poor Gyuvin still sleeping placidly. It was Junhyeon.
“Did I wake you up?”
Junhyeon´s voice broke the silence and Gunwook began to blink rapidly, as if wanting to process that what he was hearing was real.
“Junhyeon-ah.”
He said, voice airy, a smiled already on his face.
“Hey…”
Junhyeon mumbled, voice a little bit too soft, cautious.
“I- “
He started to say, but was immediately cut by the other´s voice.
“Sorry for calling this late. I wanted to call you earlier, but Keonhee was
playing all this music in the car ride back home and I couldn’t, and I was so
busy all day and I know I told you we could talk before sleep and I didn’t
want you to fall sleep but I know you must be so tired and I-“
The elder´s words were hasty and worried, too eager to apologize to notice that in the other side of the line was just a boy with a chest so warm by the longing he felt so many time without hearing his voice.
“I was going to wait for you anyways.”
Silence and then what it sounded to be a giggle.
“This is our first call.”
Said Junhyeon, he was tightening his phone so hard his hand became numb.
“Somehow it feels like I never stopped hearing your voice, though.”
Silence again, but they could feel each other´s smile through the phone, if it made sense.
“I feel the same…”
A shy whispered, it was Gunwook´s first time hearing that kind of voice on him. It seemed endearing to him. They kept silence for a few seconds more, sinking in the feeling of yearning.
“Wait, let me get out of the room, Gyuvin is already sleeping.”
Gunwook said and went to the living room.
Getting up the bed at five was hard, especially if you went to sleep at three in the morning.
The tiredness didn’t affect the black haired boy as he himself thought it will. The days started passing and talking till late at night became a habit, that, plus the high amount of texting through the day. Now, not only Gyuvin but the rest of the boys knew that Gunwook had something going on, but they preferred not to invade their member´s privacy and instead just wait for him to come around and tell them himself. Well, everyone except for Gyuvin, the guy was really curious about Gunwook love life that it was hard for Gunwook to pretend as if it was nothing. But, somehow, he fortunately managed to turn a blind eye to it and, at some point, they were all used to it.
In Monday, a miracle happened when both of them receive the news that they will be having a spare day, the same date. And to make it even greater, it will be in Sunday.
They both lose a little bit of their minds when they told each other about it, they were sure they were going to finally meet.
The week passed torturously slowly, but it was now Saturday, which meant they would be meeting tomorrow. They planned to visit some new restaurant they heard about, they would be shopping some needs together and they would be going for a walk and take pictures. It was all perfect, all day together as they deserve.
At least it was perfect while it last. Not that Gyuvin was annoying or so, but Gunwook just wanted to see his friend alone, spend time with him and catch up, just the two of them. But, from the other side, Gyuvin was trying too hard to pretend he wasn’t sad about their family cancelling him for an emergency that it got to him, well, he had a heart, a pretty soft one, to highlight the fact, so he ended up inviting the younger to spend the day with Junhyeon and him. When he told Junhyeon about it, they both pretended that it was nothing, that soon they would have another spare day to enjoy just the two of them, and the plan was made.
“I didn’t know you were in contact with Junhyeon, he barely responds to my texts, that brat.” Gyuvin complained and Gunwook just side eyed him while getting in the back sit of the Uber.
“He is your hyung, you brat.” He said back and Gyuvin shrugged, defending himself with the argument that Junhyeon himself allow him to treat each other as friends. Gunwook wasn’t sure about that, but was too nervous to complain.
Yeah, he was nervous. Seeing Junhyeon after so long was having him all sweaty and restless. He couldn’t even sleep properly the night before. He didn’t know why, though; it was Junhyeon, the guy who already knew all of his secrets, who knows his qualities and his flaws, who even knows how he likes his food and clothes. But it was different this time, he didn’t know why, but it just felt different. The way his heart was beating wasn’t normal, the way his arms were tickling at the thought of a hug, the way his eyes were almost teary wasn’t especially what he would imagine meeting Junhyeon again would be. But, it was, and he was having a very hard time hiding it from Gyuvin. The latter one was constantly peeking with the side of his eye to check on him, not wanting to actually bother but deciding to just talk about it before they arrive; Gunwook told him he was feeling sick in his stomach since they ate breakfast so early and Gyuvin wasn´t especially convinced but he just let it slide.
Gunwook and Gyuvin headed to the square where the restaurant they wanted to try was located and when they got out of the car, Gunwook felt his knees weak. He started to wondered if maybe he was actually sick at that point. They sat on a bender outside of some ice cream shop. Gyuvin was talking up to the elbows, Gunwook wasn’t catching a word.
Gunwook was checking the hour on his phone, Junhyeon was apparently running late. Twenty minutes passed and the black haired boy was already fighting to suppress all the chaotic thoughts about it. He suddenly felt Gyuvin standing up from his sit and he knew that he was greeting no other than Junhyeon. He raised his head and saw the two boys hugging. His smile grows wider immediately at the sight of Junhyeon, the latter looked at him and Gunwook could swear it felt like seeing him smile for the very first time. It was his turn to approached him. They hugged for a long time, he squeezed Junhyeon´s body so tight that he even noticed that the elder had gotten skinnier; Junhyeon´s fingers were pressed in the taller sweater and the smell of his hair reached his nose. They knew they need to cut it out when Gyuvin started to complain about them always loving each other more and they all laughed about how disgusting (cute) he was being.
At first, Gyuvin was talking the most, walking in between them so greedy and excited, he was like a kid. Gunwook wasn’t normally the most talkative in the three of them, but he knew he was being quieter than usual when he caught Junhyeon peeking on him with a worried look, he softly smiled and one stare was enough to all of his body to relax. They arrived to the restaurant, the atmosphere felt warm and homey; they sat at a table of four near the window and ordered a few things to try and share. At some point, everything felt like before. Their dynamic began to lodge again and suddenly they were the iconic and inseparable trio once again. They just finished eating and Gunwook phone started ringing, it was his mom. He remembered he told her about the spare day and that she told him she was going to call him. He bites his lower lip considering for a moment to not pick up, but instantly shook the idea and forgive himself into getting the call and went outside the restaurant.
“Oh, God, I’m going to explode.” Gyuvin said dramatically and Junhyeon just laughed, he felt the same, though.
They talked vaguely about the food and their thoughts on the restaurant and suddenly, Gyuvin started hitting the table excitedly as if he just remembered something important.
“What do you think about Gunwook and his girlfriend?” he asked restlessly, Junhyeon widened his eyes while recomposing himself in his chair, Gyuvin seemed to had noticed his expression and widened his own eyes even more, gasping just as his theatrical self would. “Don´t you fucking dare to tell me he didn’t told you about her” he inquired and let his shoulders fall when Junhyeon just stared at him not knowing what to say.
“How long it’s been going on?” he asked after a moment, forcing himself to smile, his hands anxiously playing on his lap.
“I don´t know exactly when it started, but it´s been at least a month… and a half, I would say.” Gyuvin responded, putting his eyes blank, as trying to remembered more details. “I don´t know, bro, but the man is whipped, that´s for sure.” Junhyeon awkwardly laughed, lowering his gaze and nodding.
“It´s weird that he didn’t told me anything about it.” He mumbled, almost to himself, Gyuvin nodded frenetically and then sighed.
“Actually, he didn’t even tell me himself, I had to found out for myself. I mean, everybody knows now, but he is not telling anyone a word, he is being so secretive about it than it makes me think that shit is for real, you know.”
The younger started drinking the rest of his soda and Junhyeon looked over through the window, watching Gunwook talking on the phone, walking uneasy. The black haired boy caught him staring and waved his hand to say hi with what it had to be the prettiest smile Junhyeon ever received, unexpectedly, too pretty it made him feel miserable.
“What did I missed?” Gunwook sit back on the table and both of the other two boys looked at him, each of them with a different expression. “Sorry, my mom told me she was going to call.” He added, noticing Junhyeon avoiding his look.
“Yeah, sure, your mom,” Gyuvin teased, winking at Junhyeon, who just awkwardly smiled and nodded, Gunwook frowned at the act and when he was about to ask, Gyuvin interrupted him by saying they should go to the movies.
Gunwook sat beside Junhyeon in the movies, Gyuvin sat on other side of the elder. It was a horror movie, so the three of them were really quiet, but Gunwook wasn’t really paying attention to the screen. Junhyeon´s hand was so close to his own that he couldn’t think in any other thing at the moment. The side of their palm of the hand were brushing and the younger could feel his heartbeat through the movie. He moved his hand closer to Junhyeon´s and thought he would move, but he didn’t, and they just stayed like that, pressing the side of their hands with each other the rest of the movie. When they got out of the theater, it was already getting dark outside. Junhyeon seemed uneasy, maybe he was just tired, Gunwook thought to himself. Unfortunately, they didn’t have any time left to go shopping, but they walked near the Han river, when there wasn’t much people near. Gunwook thought about how long he was needing a day just like that; no worries and his very best friends by his side. When they got to say goodbye, Gyuvin hugged the both of them and dramatically turned around to not see them hugging, because, at his words, that would hurt his feelings. Even if it was a joke, Gunwook felt more comfortable without him seeing them say their goodbyes. This hug was different from the previous one; Junhyeon´s warm body melted in his arms and he suddenly felt a rush of fondness and dearness through all of his veins. They hugged tightly, not wanting to let go, and Gunwook knew he needed to take distance in the moment he felt the need to kiss the shorter´s forehead. They waved Junhyeon goodbye until the car disappeared at their sight and then their own driver arrived for them.
Junhyeon texted him to say he safely headed home and say goodnight right away, and when Gunwook told him to stay just a little more, Junhyeon told him he was already too tired.
Next day, when Gunwook headed to morning practice, Junhyeon didn’t text him good morning, and when the black haired boy writes him first, he didn’t get a reply until noon. Gunwook tried to convince himself that maybe Junhyeon was just too busy to reply as he normally would, but it was until Gyuvin showed him a meme that Junhyeon sent him not even an hour ago that he knew something was off.
You are sending memes to Gyuvin but not even replying to
my texts! I’m hurt.
He sent and stare to his phone screen for a while, Hao and Ricky were talking just beside him but he couldn’t even pay attention to them. He was worried. It was a drastic change and he didn’t even know why it happened. He went through all the moments that could possibly mean something for him to identify what might have made Junhyeon uncomfortable, but found nothing significant. He looked at his phone screen again but nothing showed up.
Are you too busy? You won´t believe what word did Matthew hyung
mispronounced, it was hilarious.
Nothing. He was feeling significantly uneasy, but at the same time he felt like he was completely overreacting, as if he has no reasons to be worried, let alone, hurt. It was just texts, right? Junhyeon wasn’t going to give him all the attention every day, and that was normal and definitely okay. He repeated those words on his head until he started to actually believe them.
The practice was done and they were going back to their dorm, he was too tired so he fell asleep in the ride back, and when they headed home, the first thing he did was call Junhyeon. No reply, maybe in five minutes, he thought, but nothing, no reply again. Now, he was officially worried, and not only for his own sake but because of the thought of something bad happening to Junhyeon.
He went to Hanbin´s room and found him talking with Taerae. Once they greeted him, he felt hesitant and the thought of him exaggerating everything came to his mind again.
“By any chance… have you guys been talking with Junhyeon?” he rapidly asked, voice a little bit airy. It was embarrassing the way they looked so confused at the question. His ears were probably red, but he didn’t mind, he just wanted to know, he needed to know.
“Last time we talk was day ago, I was just telling him how much I liked one of their performances.” The leader said with a tender smile, Taerae immediately stood up and took his phone to check.
“We were just talking in the morning, nothing really important, just chatting.” The light brown haired boy said, looking closely into Gunwook expression. “Is everything okay, is he okay?” he asked, Hanbin expression rapidly changed into a worried one.
“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry, guys. I was just being paranoid since he hasn’t reply to my texts.” He tried to said convincingly, waving his hands in front of his hyungs as if was nothing, but they knew him well enough to perceived something was on. “Anyways, thank you. I’m better taking a shower, I must smell.” He tried to joke and the two boys looked at him and slowly nodded.
Please, rest well and have a nice sleep, okay? Talk to you tomorrow.
He put his phone down after sending that. He was fortunately too tired to last even half an hour awake.
In the morning, he had six unread messages from Junhyeon. He would be lying to say his mood just not automatically lifted. Junhyeon explained that he wasn’t feeling very well and that he was sorry for not answering before and to rest well. They talked through the day, but not as much as they normally would and not as much as Gunwook was comfortable with.
And a whole strange week happened. Gunwook wasn’t just hurt about the fact that Junhyeon was sometimes deliberately ignoring him, but he was getting mad too. Gyuvin would come to show him funny stuff that Junhyeon sent him minutes ago when he hasn’t reply for hours, and Taerae would be on his phone listening to the kind of music that he knew it was Junhyeon´s taste, and, yeah, that suck from him, more for the fact that he wasn’t even giving him an explanation to that attitude. Gunwook wasn’t asking neither, he was a little bit too proud for that, but he was in fact feeling sadder than he would like to admit.
Junhyeon didn’t wanted to take it that far, but his lack of communication skills was something else. Despite his bubbly self, he was a very insecure person, so every time he considered to just confront Gunwook and asked him directly why he didn’t tell him about his new girlfriend, he felt like it´s was too late and, ironically, let another day passed. He was drowning in his own thoughts, wondering why Gunwook would let something so important slide just like that; they were supposed to tell each other everything. Gunwook knew everything about him, well, almost everything. The more that he thought about it, the more offended he felt, so talking normally with his best friend wasn’t really into consideration; even when he tried, he just couldn’t.
At some point, Junhyeon tripped himself into thinking that it was better not to talk to him at all. And the timing was perfect when a new week started and his schedule was full to the head. He noticed all the texts Gunwook sent, he felt way too bad for ignoring him, but the thought of Gunwook not really needing him would sink before he could even get himself to type a word. At night, he knew Gunwook would call several times, but he also knew in advance that he won’t be taking any of those calls. After that, he would stay up till late, wondering why he was even acting that way, why he was feeling so hurt; he deep down knew that friends keep secrets from each other sometimes; in fact, he was the first one doing that, but being logical wasn’t an option, he just took everything too far to take a step back. Getting himself into thinking that he was the only one hurting was better than actually wonder why he was that hurt, in first instance. Besides, thinking about Gunwook being hurt made him sick on his stomach, so he just ignored the thought every time it popped up. Being selfish won´t kill him, he knew, but, oh, how well it tortured him.
The alarm didn’t wake him up and when Gyuvin came into the room back from the shower and found him still warmly wrapped in the sheets, he knew it was going to be a pretty rough day.
The situation with Junhyeon wasn’t helping at all with all of the stress, in fact, it made things considerably worst. He went from being mad at him to be even sadder than before. His pride was the only thing that kept him whatever dignity he had left. He also promised himself no more calls neither texts; it worked, but his mood descended even faster.
Not a few days passed when Gyuvin decided to confront him.
“Okay, I tried to give you space, but you seem to only get worse and worse and I can´t stand seeing you like this.” He stated and Gunwook just raised his face from his phone.
“I´m okay, don´t worry.” He said and returned his attention to the screen. Gyuvin disappointedly sighed and stood up.
“Okay, I didn’t want to do this, but you´re forcing me.” The elder added and Gunwook just watched him leave the room, not caring too much.
To be fair, Gyuvin warned him.
“Guys, seriously, I´m alright.” He begged, dropping himself face down on the mattress. Hanbin pursed his lips, unconvinced.
“Gunwook, you don´t have to tell us everything. We just want to know if there´s something we can do to make you feel better.” He softly said while patting the younger´s back tenderly.
“There´s nothing you can do because nothing´s going on, I swear.” He responded, words barely understandable for the way he was pressing his face on the pillow.
“Don´t be such a liar, Park Gunwook, you stubborn giant!” Gyuvin frustratingly intervened, Hanbin quickly gave him a warn look, the brown haired boy rolled his eyes.
“I´m perfectly fine!” Gunwook replied, coming out of hiding and ready to fight Gyuvin, but Hanbin intervened and stopped him from the chest.
“Okay, enough the both of you.” The leader stated and both of the younger boys stayed still and lower their gaze, embarrassed. “Gunwook, Gyuvin is just worried about you, and even if you don´t want to admit it, you know that he is right to be.” He said, the latter one not daring to raise his look. “And, Gyuvin, being aggressively caring right now, won´t take you too far, don´t you think?” he added, Gyuvin looked at him and nodded.
“I´m sorry… I guess I was just frustrated to see you looking like trash- I mean, feeling so bad, and not finding the way to help you.” He apologized and Gunwook finally raised his face, nodding sincerely.
“It´s okay, I admit I was being a little stubborn. It´s not your fault, neither of you.” He apologized too and Hanbin discretely smiled, proudly.
In that moment, Hao came into the room and stopped dead as he noticed the tense atmosphere, Hanbin was about to apologized themselves to Hao, but Gunwook noticed his intentions and immediately shook his head kindly at him.
“It´s okay, hyung, Hao-hyung can stay” he said and Hanbin nodded in relief, Hao looked at him cautiously and slowly sat on the bed with the leader.
“You don´t have to tell us anything if you don´t want to, Gunwook-ah.” The leader said with a sweet smile, looking alternately at everyone at the room expecting them to show their approval to his words.
“It´s okay, I know.” He replied with a shy smile, Hanbin really knew how to comfort people. He sighed and lower his gaze, processing his owns thoughts. Finally, he raised his gaze at them and nodded as giving himself confidence. “I want to tell you.”
Technically, he told them everything. Well, almost everything.
He might have omitted the fact that, the girlfriend he told them about, was in fact, Junhyeon. Of course that would´ve made everything clearer, but he convinced himself into thinking that there wasn’t that much difference from a girlfriend and a best friend, right. Hao was concerned, he almost screamed in horror when Gunwook was telling them the way his girlfriend started to act weird and literally ghosted him; Gyuvin was pretty much angry about it, but most for the fact that Gunwook was being, at his words, a coward for not demand her an answer, and Hanbin, well, Hanbin almost cried the entire time. At the end, Hanbin and Hao gave him some advice about how he could try to send her a long-ass message explaining how he feels and how much he misses her, and even thought Gunwook really appreciated their words, he knew he couldn’t do that, not because he didn’t miss him, but because of his enormous pride. On the other hand, Gyuvin was being suspiciously quiet, but Gunwook thought that maybe it was just an embarrassing topic to talk for him. An hour passed with all of them hugging and trying to cheer up the younger, and Gunwook must admit that it worked, it worked so much that when it was almost ten pm and Hao and Hanbin leaved the room, he felt a little bit hopeful.
“I´m sorry I didn’t tell you about all of this, Gyuvin-ah. I think I was just feeling too comfortable feeling pity for myself.” He told the brown haired boy, which was laying on his bed at the other side of the room. Gunwook noticed the way he smiled.
“It´s okay, I know how stubborn you can be.” He joked, now looking at him, Gunwook smiled back and then softy laughed when Gyuvin sat again and gave him a serious look.
“What…” the black haired boy mumbled, mirroring him and sitting.
“You should go to see her.” He stated, determinedly. Gunwook widen his eyes and immediately shook his head. “Why not, you idiot. That’s the only thing you can do, people in love are crazy, maybe she just misses you.” He added, standing up to sit beside him.
“I don´t know, man, it´s ten pm, she must be sleeping…” he mumbled, he actually knew Junhyeon sleeps until late.
“I don´t care, it´s your girlfriend you’re talking about. You definitely need to go to her house and surprise her.” Gyuvin said, excitedly starting to hit him on the side of his arm, Gunwook stoop up and started to walk restlessly through the room.
“I´m going to look like a total freak, Gyuvin.” He worried, biting his lips, nervously. Gyuvin laughed and shook his head, standing up too, taking him by the shoulders.
“Look at me, Park Gunwook. You go and get her.” He said, too certain it started to get on his head.
“But, what if- “he stuttered and Gyuvin shook him by the shoulders.
“But, but, but, but nothing. You. Go. Get. Her.” He insisted and Gunwook stared at him, undecided, Gyuvin kept his gaze steady, encouraging.
“Okay, fine.” He surrendered and suddenly a boost of adrenaline started running through his body.
He changed his clothes and put on a full black outfit, it was the best he could do with no time. Gyuvin encouraged him till the door and helped him get out without the rest of the guys noticing, only making him swear he will text him he is okay all the time.
He took an Uber and went straight to the Redstart ENM dorms. It took him only half an hour to get there and when the driver told him they were there; he almost asks him to drive back from where they came. He stood in front of the building for a while, seriously considering to walk away and resign himself into losing his best friend, but his legs started to walk inside the place without consulting his head, and he just let his body guide his entire self.
He decided to go for the stairs, that way he would have more time to think what he was going to tell Junhyeon; “hey, I just thought it was a good idea to come to your dorm since you ghosted me and clearly don’t want to talk to me, hope you are okay with it”, he thought and mocked himself.
He was too immersed in his mind that he almost faints when a knowing voice called him. It was Kim Minseoung, the guy was startled to see him, but immediately hugged him, Gunwook smiled nervously and whipped his hands on his jeans when the elder one kindly asked what he was doing there so late.
“I was… I was just near, so I thought maybe I should just stop and say hello.” He lied, Minseoung smiled awkwardly, not really believing that, but nodded, then he just sighed and tried not to laugh.
“Sure.” he said, still fighting the smile on his face, Gunwook felt his cheeks warm. “I´m going to call Junhyeon, wait a sec.” he said and when he saw Gunwook´s ears get even redder than his cheeks, he pretended he didn’t notice.
The shorter boy walked away and leave him in the hallway. Gunwook took a deep breath and leaned his back against the wall; while waiting for Minseoung, he texted Gyuvin that everything was okay.
An opened door and then the same door slam shut.
Gunwook looked at him and a doubtful smile appeared on his face, Junhyeon looked like he just saw a ghost. The brown haired boy approached him and without saying a word, started heading to the stairs. Gunwook followed him. While they were walking upstairs, Gunwook stared at his best friend back; he was wearing a white tee and Gunwook wondered if he wasn’t cold. His brown hair has grown longer and he was as skinny as the last time he saw him. They reached to the building’s rooftop, it was cold up there. Junhyeon walked to the railing, turned on his heel, and finally looked up at him, Gunwook chest felt warm and tight.
“This view is just like a movie” Gunwook said, the corners of his lips turned up timidly, as he didn’t know if he was allowing to smile at him. Junhyeon ghosted a smile.
“It took you so long” he mumbled, Gunwook took a few steps forward, still cautious.
“I thought you didn’t want to see me.” He rapidly said, licking his lower lip nervously, Junhyeon gave him a bitter smile and nodded.
“I know, I´m not serious. You obviously didn’t know. I´m sorry.” He replied in a small voice, Gunwook shook his head, confused. “Aren´t you curious about why I was pissed?” he added, a more genuine smile this time.
“Junhyeon-ah, I didn’t even know you were pissed.” His shoulders fell resignedly.
“You didn’t tell me about it” Junhyeon finally throw, Gunwook felt the panic sinking in, he literally had no idea what he supposed to have told him.
“About what?” he whispered, his eyes looking desperately for some answers on the brunette´s face.
“About her” Gunwook stared at him in silence, his mouth slightly open, Junhyeon seemed serious and, if he wasn’t wrong, he looked hurt too.
“About who? I´m sorry… I really don´t know what you mean.” He cautiously asked, then took a few more steps towards him, they were now just half a meter away.
“About your girlfriend.”
Hearing that caused him an immediate explosion of emotions. It was a mixed of relief and worried, both of the them planted from confusion. He reviewed all the possibilities of Junhyeon finding out about all the fuss that was going on in the dorm, but there was almost none… then he remembered. It was either Taerae or Gyuvin who had told him about it, and it definitely sounded more as something Gyuvin would do. And then, when he was about to said something, it clicked. The day Junhyeon started to act weird was the day after they meet with Gyuvin at the restaurant; he remembered when he came back from the call with his mom and he seemed out of it. It all made sense.
He burst into laughter.
“Are you seriously laughing right now?” Junhyeon asked him in disbelief, Gunwook immediately took composure and a deep breath, he felt confident enough to approached the shorter one, taking his wrists on his hands, the latter one stared at those hands touching his bare skin. “What´s so funny?” he insisted with a confused mumble.
“I don’t have a girlfriend.” He said, suppressing a smile, Junhyeon seemed about to refute, so Gunwook immediately continued: “I know that Gyuvin must have tell you, but I seriously don’t have a girlfriend” he said, his voice soft and delicate, as he was explaining something to a kid.
“Then, why would he tell me that?” Junhyeon asked, releasing himself from the other´s grab.
“Because he is an idiot.” He said and laughed again, Junhyeon gave him a stare and Gunwook sighed heavily, then nodded “This is actually a very funny story now that you asked” he added, jokingly, but the sudden look of despair and hurt on Junhyeon´s eyes immediately took him back to a serious mood.
“If she is not your girlfriend and you are just hanging out, still you didn’t tell me you like someone and we are supposed to tell each other everything” he mumbled, soft and hurt, it killed Gunwook inside, but he didn’t understand why.
“I´ll explain everything.”
And a whole hour past. Gunwook told him everything, starting with the night they started to talk again after Boy´s Planet and then the late night talking day after day; the lack of attention he was giving to others and even the after event (Gyuvin telling him about the secret girlfriend), in which he was basically depressed without “her”. Junhyeon was startled, to say the least, but there was something in his eyes sparkling too bright every time Gunwook told him about how he was always on the lookout for him, that made him feel secured again.
“In short, I was always smiling through my phone, talking late at night, being secretive…” Junhyeon was just staring at him, still a bit of disbelief on his face “… with you, Junhyeon. I did all of it just with you.” And then soft again, his usual self, Gunwook lower his gaze to smile.
“So, you´re telling me that Gyuvin and, basically everyone, thinks I am your girlfriend.” Said Junhyeon, raising his eyebrows to the taller.
“You could say that.” He laughed, pocking his hands on his sweater.
“Well, this is hilarious”
“It is.” And they laughed, they finally laughed together. Then, when Gunwook slowly stopped laughing, a tender smile remained on his face while watching the other progressively mirror him, they locked eyes and Gunwook took a deep breath, suddenly feeling all sinking in; the hurt they went through, the longing, the doubts, the attaching, the endearment. “Please, don’t get away from me ever again” he almost implored, Junhyeon pressed his lips into a line, nodding at him, all the guilt down his throat.
“Then don’t you have a girlfriend” he replied attempting to joke, and felt like he found the greatest treasure when Gunwook smiled.
“Like, ever?” he asked in return, raising an eyebrow, Junhyeon looked away for a second and then he determinedly nodded.
“Ever” Junhyeon responded, starting to calmly walk across the roof.
“Then, you´ll have to be my boyfriend” Gunwook dared to say, holding his breathe when he saw Junhyeon stops on his tracks.
“I might” he heard him saying before continued his slow walk.
“Great” he mumbled, deciding to join him, Junhyeon playfully started to walk faster, Gunwook easily followed him anyway.
“Just for you know, I´m not easy to get” the brunette boy added, not daring to looked at the taller when he let a loud laugh “You should be taking me on multiple dates and shit” and Gunwook nodded, still laughing, glad there was no way Junhyeon could figure out that it was actually a nervous laughter.
“I said I might” he replied, anyway.
“We´ll see” and they kept walking all over the rooftop for a while.
That early morning, when Gunwook headed back home, he felt something inside him had changed.