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Chapter 1⎯The Insurgency:
Chloe wants to absolutely devour Nadine Ross.
She knows it the second she lays eyes on her, despite the absolute hatred and scathing reputation following her from the Drake brothers.
She knows it’s still true one, two weeks into their expedition.
Nadine’s gray military-style T-shirt rips tightly across her abs and strong, veiny biceps. The rugged cargo pants splay across her bottom half and show off her meticulously sculpted glutes with each step she takes. Chloe feels the tension rising in her with each day that passes. The hot, sweaty, Indian climate, the constant adrenaline of escaping from Asav’s men⎯she is tensely wound at all times, and being around Nadine 24/7 is downright distracting.
Nights are the worst. Something about the quiet but unsettling calm that falls over the mountains at nightfall allows Nadine to let her guard down just a bit. She tells Chloe about her desperate need to get Shoreline back. She laughs easily. Her entire energy is just a bit more gentle, easygoing, relaxed. She wonders how many have gotten to see Nadine this way; guesses it’s probably not very many.
Their journey on the boat is the first time Chloe seriously thinks about doing something stupid. She and Nadine have finally been able to change back into their usual tactical clothes, and Chloe is comforted by the familiar material.
Chloe sees, for the first time, the way Nadine’s body is taut under the tight fabric of her tactile field clothing. Her hair pulled back neatly, sports watch around her wrist. Everything practical and advantageous to running around beating up men and looking for ancient historical artifacts.
The little mole above her lips. The way her belt wraps around her waist snugly, accentuating the sway of her hips. The line of muscle running along her bicep, all the way down to her forearm. The holster strapped to her upper right thigh, demonstrating just how much you don’t want to fuck with her. She’s yelling at Chloe from across the table, but Chloe is entirely distracted by the way the veins run down Nadine’s arms, thick muscles bulging against the tight gray fabric of her shirt. Her eyebrows furrow in her passionate speech about how dangerous Asav and his men are. Chloe can’t be bothered to give a fuck when this beautiful, tenacious woman is standing in front of her giving her the third degree, Nadine’s skin flushing with frustration.
Chloe makes a valiant attempt to swallow down her attraction and show Nadine what she’s discovered about the disc, the map, the intricate, detailed symbols engraved all over the cold piece of metal. Nadine tells her “Nice work,” and Chloe is on cloud 9.
Midway through their second week, Nadine starts telling her stories. Chloe hears more about Shoreline, starts to understand why it’s so important to Nadine. They both talk about their fathers. They have more in common than Chloe realized.
On the 12th day trekking through the mountains of southwest India, Chloe feels her will start to break. It isn’t her fault, really.
They had come across a particularly refreshing-looking river as the day was rapidly approaching dusk, and Nadine had convinced her that it would be smarter and more efficient to stop here and get a head start on building camp than to keep going for maybe another 30 minutes only to find a less desirable spot. She was probably right, but Chloe wasn’t ready to admit that.
Before Chloe could get out another word, Nadine had turned to face away from her, and started stalking towards the river as she grabbed the back of her sweaty T-shirt by the neck and started pulling it up over her head. Chloe felt her stomach drop sharply, and before she could even think to look away, Nadine’s back was exposed, hard peaks of muscle and lines cutting across a black racerback sports bra. Her skin was a smooth, deep brown, and her shoulder blades flexed as Nadine bent down towards the water to feel the temperature.
Chloe was hot all over. She could feel the blood rising to flush her cheeks, warmth stirring between her legs. She clenched her teeth against the sudden filthy thoughts crashing against her mind, thoughts she had been shoving down for damn near two weeks now. Graphic imagery of what she would do to Nadine if she could just⎯
“Coming, Frazer?” Nadine threw a quick, heart-stopping glance over her shoulder and smirked briefly, like she knew exactly what she was doing to Chloe, but of course she couldn’t have actually known, because Chloe was not that obvious, and she flirted with everyone and it meant nothing, and anyways…
“Yeah, right behind yuh.” Chloe forced herself to look away when Nadine started unbuttoning those thick cargo pants, and moved a few yards down the river to start her own hygiene process.
So yeah. Things were going great. Excellent, really.
Nadine doesn’t mind. She doesn’t mind the looks that Chloe throws in her direction every few steps, every time Nadine crosses in front of her. Doesn’t mind the fact that Chloe is absolutely checking her out at every single angle possible, at all times possible, during the most dangerous and life-threatening stint of her career.
In fact, she kind of revels in it. The heat she feels burning in her chest all the way up through her cheeks is the only thing keeping her going, pushing forward on this endless wild goose chase, week after week in search of this goddamned Tusk. Chloe Frazer is an incredibly gifted flirt and a tease, and Nadine finds that she doesn’t even mind at all.
They are sitting close now. Shoulder to shoulder, marveling quietly at the booming fire blazing in front of them that had taken an hour to build up to this level, and no shortage of cussing from Chloe. Nadine had offered to intervene multiple times, of course, but Chloe had insisted that she had it. Nadine thought she was the stubborn one, and isn’t used to coming across another women like her. She finds some comfort in the feeling of sameness. How similar Chloe is to her. Wouldn’t it be nice to be friends, real actual friends, after all this? Nadine thinks so. She isn’t sure Chloe does. Not that it matters. Nadine doesn’t do friendship, or trust. She has her business partners, and her loyal men⎯which she will get back in no time once this endeavor is completed⎯and that’s about all she needs to be satisfied.
Chloe bumps her shoulder against Nadine’s softly, jarring her back to reality. “Whatcha thinking about there, soldier?”
Chloe is looking right at her, earnestly, like she actually wants to know the answer and isn’t just talking for the sake of saying words. Her eyes are soft and patient, like she wants to hear every thought Nadine has ever had and will wait as long as it takes to hear it.
“Oh, nothing really. Just thinking about what I’m going to do once this is over.” And it isn’t a lie, really.
“Ah, yes. That wonderful existential dread is always a good one.”
“Hey! I didn’t say it was dread.” Nadine smiles despite herself. She loves Chloe’s easy, quick-witted humor, how easily she can disarm Nadine with just a few sentences.
“Well—what are you going to do once this is over?”
Nadine frowns slightly, feels her pulse quicken in anxiety. “Haven’t really decided yet. I mean Shoreline was⎯is my priority, of course. But that could take time. So I’m not really sure.” Her stark white teeth worry at her bottom lip, and something in Chloe’s gaze softens.
“Well, we still haven’t made it out of this mess alive yet, so you can just worry about that for now.” Chloe lightly slaps Nadine’s thigh in jest, and cracks a grin towards her, the mood lightening instantly.
Nadine fixes Chloe with an incredulous look, as if she can’t really tell if she’s being serious or not, but then breaks out into a smile, then an actual, genuine laugh, and then they’re both laughing together, shoulder to shoulder in the thick black night of this mountainous landscape and a warmth spreads throughout Nadine’s insides.
Chapter 5—The Great Battle:
The punch is really getting to Chloe. She doesn’t have time to think about it, of course, because Nadine’s life is in danger, and of course she’s going to go after that stupid asshole even after she just about caved Chloe’s face in, but damn that hurt. She doesn’t know what to think anymore. She thought they were getting somewhere, her and Nadine, thought they were building the foundation to some type of a real, genuine relationship that Chloe isn’t used to having.
Instead, she is thinking about everyone else who has left or hurt her. She is reminded of the casual way Nathan dropped her for Elena, as if Chloe had never been an option at all⎯not that she ever seriously wanted that man, but it still hurt to see how little her existence mattered to him. How little he thought of her that he couldn’t even be direct with her, couldn’t even tell her up front that she was no longer wanted.
She also thinks about what it means, that she lets people hurt her in this way and still continues on keeping them in her life. One thing is clear, Nadine clearly has the emotional regulation skills of a two-year-old, and has definitely never been forced to spend even a second in mandated therapy after losing a parent at a young age.
Chloe knows she messed up, and she also knows she didn’t deserve to get socked in the face for it. Hard, too. That girl can hit. And just like that, her mind betrays her, suddenly flashing to the massive muscles that ripple across Nadine’s skin when she moves, the way she can take out men three times her size in a few swift moves. She pushes the thoughts away as soon as she realizes, but the damage is done. Alas. Chloe falls for people that hurt her, and she is helpless against their charm.
Nadine’s apology is mediocre, at best, but Chloe can tell she is trying, and for that, she takes her out of her suffering. Chloe’s anger has resided by the time she finds her, anyways, and she thinks that maybe almost getting shot dead by a mass of heavily armed men in the middle of a jungle is punishment enough. She thinks it’s maybe more than Nadine has ever given to anyone else, and decides that that will have to be enough—for now.
Nadine hates Sam. Absolutely despises, deplores, loathes, abhors the man⎯and his brother too, of course. Aside from actively trying to kill her or attempting to have her killed countless times over the past decade, and actively working against her in every single mission of even remote importance to her—not to mention the job that had her men turn against her and stripped her father’s legacy from her—there is just something about him that she cannot stand. She can’t tell if it’s the permanent self-assured smirk that lurks on his face, the slicked back, receded-hairline look, the womanizing arrogant attitude, or his inability to just quit when it's time to quit despite the threat of death to his loved ones, but something about the man makes her despise him from somewhere deep inside the depths of her being.
Especially now. If she hated Sam and his pushover, misogynistic brother before, well⎯being forced to finish out this job with him, and having him invade on her surprisingly seamless partnership with Chloe? She hopes he has someone praying over him, because there’s no telling what she’ll do to him when the opportunity arises.
Which is why she cannot figure out why Chloe is so soft on him. It pricks something inside Nadine that she cannot identify, and doesn’t care to. Chloe intervenes in casual, easy-going spurts, but it is clear that if Nadine were to actually try and harm the guy, Chloe would immediately turn on her to defend him. It makes her sick, if she’s being honest. Well and truly sick to her stomach. She ignores her hatred as best as she can, taking it out on Sam as much as Chloe will allow, but reigning it in far more than she would like. She doesn’t get why Chloe cannot see how vile the Drake brothers are, and drop them on their asses as they deserve. Nadine is a much better associate anyways, and smarter than the two of those numbskulls combined.
Alas. The three of them, exhausted and sweaty, have been trying for days to catch up with Asav’s men before they can sell the Tusk.
Sam has been hovering, won’t shut up, won’t stop making small digs and obnoxious jokes that only he finds funny. Nadine feels like her skin is crawling and when night has finally fallen and the three of them agree to start making camp, she stalks off to find firewood. The pure bliss of solitude, at long last, is over before it begins when, only a few moments later, she hears footsteps behind her and then feels a tug on her arm.
She turns to catch Chloe’s deep, searching eyes. Nadine loves her eyes, loves the way the black-rimmed gray of them contrast sharply against her rich, bronze skin. The way her sharp features angle over them, giving her a mysterious, hooded look.
“Hey,” Chloe breathes softly, unbearably gentle. “What’s going on with you?”
Nadine feels an angry pang of heat in her stomach, her instinctive defensiveness immediately kicking in.
“What do you mean what’s going on with me?” She feigns innocence, her voice coming out slightly sharper and more shrill than intended. Tries to bite down on the rage before it can overcome her, make a villain out of her. Before she turns into the woman who punches her friends in the face when things go wrong. The person that everyone has something bad to say about.
Chloe tilts her head to the side, and her lips quirk up in an emotionless smile. “Now I know you’ve got more sense than that, Ross. You. Drake Senior over there. The two of you going at it all day long. Christ, I’ve seen more civility at a schoolyard during playtime!”
Nadine feels cornered. A caged animal. Her heart starts thumping fast, and she feels a crushing need to justify her actions. And some disappointment, too. In Chloe, for not seeing things the way she does. For not being on her side, not being who Nadine thought she was.
She shrugs, a scratchy knot forming in her throat that could either mean she’s about to start crying or start screaming obscenities. Could go either way, really. She swallows hard against it and tries to stay grounded. What was that thing the one online article told her to do? Count your breaths or something? She doesn’t even notice her eyes have squeezed themselves shut and her jaw is clenched tight until she feels a warm hand on her forearm.
“Hey.” Chloe’s voice is so kind, sweet in the way that Nadine thinks a mother’s probably would be. She sounds concerned. “Nadine.”
She shivers slightly at the sound of her name coming from Chloe’s mouth, the Aussie accent twisting sounds and swallowing vowels. “It’s okay, it’s not a big deal really. It’s more annoying than anything. I know you and the Drakes have your history. I get it.” Chloe’s thumb starts stroking against her wrist, and Nadine feels herself tremble. She thinks she might burst into a million pieces, or fall against Nadine, or crumble to the ground if she continues.
Nadine opens her eyes, feels a wave of simultaneous humiliation and intense affection towards Chloe. She has a sudden overwhelming urge to surge forward, press her mouth against Chloe’s, to feel her warmth and softness, to finally know what Chloe tastes like. Bites her lip against the thought. This is too much, too vulnerable.
She nods once, short and curt. Nadine is a soldier, for God’s sakes, and she will act like it.
“Right. I’ll try to keep my thoughts to myself and not harass the big bab⎯I will keep my mouth shut from now on.”
Chloe stares, straight into her soul it feels like, for an unbearable few seconds, and then gets a look in her eye as though she’s made a decision. Suddenly she’s reaching out, cupping her palm against Nadine’s cheek lightly. Runs her thumb across the hot, sticky skin there. Nadine feels her insides melt, sharp heat running straight to her core. Her stomach jumps. She swallows hard.
It only lasts a moment, and then Chloe is dropping her hand, cool air replacing her searing touch.
“Right then.” Chloe nods back at her, quirks her lips in a modest smile and turns to go back to camp. “Don’t be too long then,” she calls over her shoulder, hips swaying in a manner so distracting Nadine starts counting her breaths again.
End:
Chloe had wanted to kiss her so bad, then. But Sam had been right there, wavering in the background, and then the moment passed, and⎯well, elbows it was, then.
Her stomach fluttered every time Nadine said the word “partner”, even though Chloe knew that’s not how she meant it…probably not how she meant it. She couldn’t believe Nadine was actually leaving Shoreline behind for good. She honestly didn’t think she would believe it until she saw it.
She curses herself for not sending Sam off for a moment, or for not saying fuck it and kissing her in front of him, taking advantage of the moment while it lasted. She doesn’t know if she’ll get another chance, and the thought of letting Nadine go without ever getting to crush her mouth to hers and see if her lips were really as soft as they looked? Without ever knowing what it would be like to slide herself against Nadine’s hard, lithe frame and touch every part of her being? Chloe would never forgive herself.
Chloe swallows against the hard ball of disappointment knotting its way up her belly, to her throat. She immediately begins plotting ways that she can get Nadine alone again, if only for a few seconds. She almost laughs at her own desperation, at the way this woman has turned her into a deprived teenager again.
She gets her chance again just a few short hours later. Sam has wandered off to the dingy little motel to take a shower before his flight out. Nadine is lingering, the two of them standing awkwardly near each other. They haven’t booked a room yet, not yet knowing where they were even headed next.
Chloe’s heart is in her throat. Her stomach is clenching with anxiety, palms embarrassingly sweaty. She knows she should suggest they start strolling down the street towards the market for something to eat, maybe some little trinket souvenirs, as she had suggested earlier. Knows she should stick with the plan. Plans keep things moving smoothly, they soothe anxiety, and promise safety.
Chloe has never been one for sticking to the plan.
“Hey,” she says bravely, taking a breath before continuing. “Walk with me.” Nadine arches an eyebrow in question, but follows Chloe around back of the motel without a word.
Chloe doesn’t know all the specific customs and cultural norms of everywhere she goes, but she has always been quite aware that she is a guest in another country and far be it from her to welcome an act of violence or hatred during what should be a private, joyful moment.
“What’s up, Frazer?” She smirks softly at Chloe’s weirdness. “You taking me out back to finally off me?”
Chloe finds herself laughing despite herself, the anxiety residing briefly. But she knows if she doesn’t act quickly, she will lose her nerve.
Nadine is looking her straight in the eye, intensely, all humor gone from her face now. It has to be now, Chloe knows.
“Nadine, I⎯” And that’s all she can get out before Nadine is suddenly crushing forward, pulling Chloe in from around the back of her neck, thumb planted against her jawline, and crushing their lips together.
Chloe melts against Nadine. Feels her breath rush out, hot and suddenly urgent. Feels the blood course through her body rapidly. Nadine’s lips are so, so, soft, and her skin is blazing and she can smell the familiar scent of the woman she’s spent the past month with. It is exactly how she imagined it, and nothing like how she imagined it at all.
Something like relief floods her system, relief that she did not have to pour her heart out to this woman and be found wanting. Relief because Nadine tastes like sweat and sweetness and victory and a breath of fresh air.
She feels the soft moan building inside her before she can stop it, and then Nadine pulls away with a last soft press against her lips. Her eyes search Chloe’s, like she almost can’t believe she just did that and is trying to figure out if it was allowed. Chloe feels her smile widen until she’s just about beaming at the other woman.
“What was it you wanted to say then, Frazer?” Chloe bites her lower lip like she’s fighting back a smile, and then can’t help herself, her face cracking into the most beautiful, carefree look Nadine has ever seen on her.
“Well, I think you beat me to the punchline, love.”
The responding kiss is searing hot and so, so sweet. Chloe doesn’t know where she’s going next, where her next meal is going to come from, let alone where she’s going to muster up her next paycheck—and she finds that she doesn’t much care.