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They were made for each other at the Heart of the Making of the World. Not everyone got to be so lucky, not even all Grisha. Even if they were, they wouldn’t be guaranteed to find each other or know where to look.
Aleksander stopped looking for his mark, for that time stamp and symbol, since he lost his first loved one. That woman he barely even remembered now, didn’t create his mark; back then, he thought that meant he wasn’t one of the lucky few ever to get it. In fact, he felt that if she didn’t make it appear, then no one would. After her, there were another two women, but none of them was his true soulmate.
When he finally met her, he didn’t even notice. His arm itched, but he blamed it on the dirt Kribrisk was known for. Besides, being so close to the Fold always made him itch, his body tenser, his mind distracted and drawn to his most incredible creation. He definitely didn’t think the woman he regarded as a mouse, wearing a First Army uniform with a scrawny figure and big eyes—could be his true equal.
Looking back, he remembered the skin at the back of his wrist felt inflamed for the first time at the exact moment his eyes laid on her.
When Alina was brought to his tent, Aleksander felt it more vividly; he was aware of the itch, and his heart pounded when he forced her light out of her. She was the one he had waited for five hundred years.
The realization struck him like lightning; his eyes fixed on the mark of the sun in the eclipse on her wrist and the time stamp that was the same as his.
Soon enough, it was evident to Aleksander that Alina didn’t know what that mark meant. She was itching it forcefully as he saved her from the druskelle, and all the way they rode together to Os Alta.
He was determined not to show her his mark yet. It took everything in him not to itch the mark when he was near her; he was craving to touch her, to share an intimate moment, if only for it to stop itching. But as he took a deep breath, forcing a tight smile, Aleksander reminded himself that he was nothing if not a man in control of his urges, and as such—he waited.
Late at night, Aleksander sometimes wondered how it could be that he had a soulmate. It was scarce nowadays, definitely not as common as when he was young.
He only knew one other couple who were true soulmates: his second-hand man, Ivan, and his partner, Fedyor. It was much easier for them; they had known each other since they were children, both talented heartrenders, the same age, and had similar life experiences. Aleksander remembered the day Ivan came to ask him about his mark, scratching it until it drew blood—an anatomical heart missing a room and the time that indicated they first met over breakfast. Ivan was 11 years old and already knew who he was destined to be with. How lucky that talented boy was.
Sometimes, he couldn’t believe the universe was so cruel, tying them together. Alina drove him mad; wanting to be like everyone else, pinning over some tracker in the First Army, not as talented as he thought she would be. Yet, he found himself charmed by her; she was funny, sweet, loving, and trusting. She had a youthfulness he could never imagine he once had. She was a human made out of sunshine; she brightened every room she walked into, even without her power, and her smile could have conquered the world if she was only comfortable enough in her skin to let them see her.
In Aleksander’s eyes, she was perfect.
His wrist sometimes bled out as he scratched it fiercely, the bond between them keeping him awake at night. He couldn't stop thinking about her every time he was away from her, but at least the pain eased. If she only knew there was such a thing as soulmates; if she only dared to ask about her own mark—things would have been much more manageable. Aleksander was determined to wait.
The day when everything changed began with his mother, Baghra. She trained Alina to control her powers, demanding she exceed everyone’s expectations, including her own. Aleksander knew his mother wanted him to destroy the Fold, however idiotic delusion of peace this may be, so she trained Alina until the girl trembled and cried as Baghra repeatedly hit her with a cane. Aleksander knew that his mother’s methods, however cruel, worked well, yet he was worried about Alina.
Aleksander requested to talk to his mother privately after Alina’s lesson, watching Alina leave them be with tears still in her eyes. The moment Alina went out of sight, his mother pulled on the sleeve of his kefta and laughed as she saw the inflamed, bloody mark. Baghra laughed for a long time as her son sat abruptly on the sofa, burying his head in his hands. He wanted to avoid telling her—she didn’t deserve the knowledge of her son finding a soulmate, and every single laughter from her mouth made it clear it should have stayed hidden from her.
“Shut up, old woman, this isn’t funny,” he scolded and looked at her as she came to sit near him.
“On the contrary, my boy, it’s hilarious . That scrawny little thing is your true bond? The best joke I heard in decades.” Aleksander’s pointed gaze usually frightened people, but his mother was not a regular person; it just made her laugh harder.
“Does that mean you won’t give us your blessing, dear mother?” he asked mockingly. It’s not that he cared what she thought, but she was still his mother—one of his damned weak points.
“On the contrary,” his mother said again and patted his back gently. “I think she could be the key to your redemption.” Aleksander scoffed; it wasn’t the first time his mother thought he needed redemption, saying there was good underneath all the cruelty. She seemed to forget that cruelty was the reason she was still alive, protected, in a place where she didn’t need to hide or starve anymore.
“The longer you ignore it, the worse it’s going to get, you know,” Baghra said gently and touched her son’s wrist. “You need to tell her; it’s distracting her from improving. And I see it has been distracting you, Sasha.” Aleksander’s head rose abruptly to meet his mother’s eyes. It must have been at least a century since she called him that . She patted his back as if she knew what was running through his mind.
“You’re still my son, Aleksander, even if I disapprove of your actions. Fate has allowed you to destroy that abomination and give you a chance of love in return; how is it not enough for you? Are you that greedy?” The old woman asked sadly, and though she and Aleksander knew the answer was yes , he couldn’t carry on the conversation that he knew would lead nowhere.
“What would you have me do, Mother? About Alina,” he clarified, unwilling to talk about the Fold and the consequences of his previous actions. It had been long since he asked his mother for advice, but he needed her input.
“Tell her; seal the bond,” Baghra said simply. “There’s no point in postponing this—the only thing to conquer this kind of bond is death, and you know you can’t kill her,” his mother said warningly, her shadows filling the already dark room. Aleksander nodded and thanked his mother. It was the only conversation in years in which they didn’t yell at each other. It felt good.
When Aleksander walked Alina to the Little Palace that evening, he struggled within himself. Being so close to her meant the mark itched so bad he could tear his skin. The worst thing was that he could see Alina was suffering, too. She tried not to scratch, but her shoulders were tense, and she strolled in a transparent attempt of restraint.
He wanted to ease her pain; it wasn’t worth hiding anymore—there was literally nothing he could have done to remove the mark and break the bond with both of them still alive—he checked, and they had no other possibility.
Aleksander knew she deserved better than him, not that idiotic tracker she still cared for, but someone else who would treat her with the gentleness and kindness she deserved. He couldn’t be the man for that job, but it seemed as though they had no choice.
Aleksander asked Alina if she wanted to go for a walk instead of returning to the Little Palace so that they could talk. Given the freezing weather, he was slightly surprised that she agreed, but he led her to the woods anyway. As they arrived at the frozen lake, the Darkling stopped in his place and took a deep breath.
“Are you okay?” Alina asked sweetly, trying to catch his eyes. It made him smile at how kind-hearted she was; she didn’t deserve to be entwined with him forever. He could never be that kind.
He needed her to decide. She should be responsible for her own fate.
Instead of saying anything, he turned to her and looked deeply into her eyes; his old heart was banging in his chest in a matter that would have alarmed Ivan if he had been there. Alina, his Sun Summoner, smiles warmly at the monster she didn’t know she was staring at.
He took her hands in his. The touch caused the inflame of their wrists to hurt so bad it made his jaw clench and eyes filled with tears, but he didn’t let go. Aleksander slowly slipped the sleeve covering Alina’s right wrist, revealing her scratched-out, inflamed mark of the sun in the eclipse to him.
Alina didn’t say a word, her eyes tearing out from the pain—Aleksander wiped her tears with one hand as the other still held onto hers. He tried to smile at her, but his lips only twitched, knowing it was far from reassuring.
Instead, he slipped his right sleeve, exposing his own mark to Alina’s widened eyes, staring at his symbol of a blazing sun with the time stamp that matched hers.
“What is this?” Alina asked quietly, panic and confusion reflected in her eyes.
“I always thought it was too rare; I knew very few people who were this lucky,” he started, thinking that luck has nothing to do with their story. “There is a saying in the Grisha wedding vows: I have seen your face at The Making at the Heart of the World. For most people, it’s just wishful thinking, something undeniably romantic to say to one another—for us, it’s the truth.”
“It’s a special bond,” The Darkling continued due to Alina’s still numb expression, “there are many words for it, but the one that stuck the most was soulmates . It hurts and itches because we didn’t seal our bond—we have to be willing to accept it, so it sinks and starts being useful.”
“Useful how?”
“Well, from what I understand, it alters from every couple. Other than strong emotions toward one another and compatibility in the physical forms of affection, most couples also share another ability. For instance, I know that Ivan and Fedyor could read each other’s minds. I also read—”
Alina cut him short, “Ivan and Fedyor are also…soulmates?” she stuttered.
The Darkling nodded sharply, “Yes, but they are the only couple I’ve known in a very long time that shares this connection. I read that some could not possibly lie to one another, some can share Grisha powers—it’s very rare, as I already said, and there aren’t many reliable sources.”
They stood there in silence for a long time in the freezing forest, Alina held the Darkling’s marked wrist, and he held hers. Aleksander knew he had plenty of time to meddle with this idea and think it over, but it was the first time Alina even heard that such a thing existed.
“What happens now?” Alina asked as she started sobbing again, probably dreading the thought of being tied to Aleksander for the rest of her life. Each tear that slid down her cheek made his chest hurt.
Aleksander shrugged, reminded himself of his decision, and said quietly: “You decide, milaya. We can accept our bond. To do that, we must cover each other’s marks and loudly declare that we want one another. I hope that would work because with adults, usually the bond is sealed with sex,” Alina blushed deeply and averted her eyes from his—another hard clench in his chest. “I know you wouldn’t—I understand if you don’t want to…Well, this way suppose to work.”
Aleksander inhaled sharply before he presented the second option and knew he would never have offered something like that to any other being. “ There’s a way to break the bond if that’s what you wish for,” he said eventually, and Alina’s eyes returned to his.
“It’s not that I don’t want you, I do, but…” She said quietly, weeping again. “I—there’s this guy I’ve been in love with for the last six years. I can’t imagine myself with anyone else, especially knowing it’s something that would last forever. Can I think about it?” Alina asks eventually, pulling Aleksander back from his train of thought, planning his way to break this bond.
Being second to the otkazat'sya she was fixated on for no apparent reason was humiliating. Even so, he promised himself not to stand in her way if that’s what she wanted. Today it was the tracker; next week, it would be someone else. If she doesn’t want to share her destiny by his side, there’s no point in postponing it. I lived far too long anyway , was the thought that cheered him.
The Darkling gave her a tight smile and shook his head. “I’ve lived for a long time, Alina, longer than you know. Unfortunately, that means I can’t wait any longer. If you would have me—I’m yours. If not, and that’s okay, I will take care of everything.” He said strictly and left his hold on her wrist.
Alina looked at him with her big, sad eyes and nodded after a minute. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, big tears falling from her eyes. “I don’t think I can do this—love is supposed to be spontaneous, wanted, not thrown upon.”
The Darkling drew a shaking breath, realizing what he needed to do. He nodded and covered his wrist again with his sleeve—it hurt more than it ever had, but the physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional one the Darkling felt. It was as though he couldn’t breathe, but he forced himself to be as indifferent in front of Alina as possible; there was no need to distress her more than he already did.
“Can I ask you something in return, Miss Strakov?” Alina nodded, her tears streaming more freely now, and it looked like using her surname offended her.
“In the morning, I need you to go to Baghra and tell her about our conversation. Tell her Aleksander broke the bond during the night and that he would be in his room. She would know what to do.” Alina’s eyes widened, but Aleksander ignored her surprise and headed to the Little Palace.
He heard her running behind him, trying to catch up with his long legs, “Darkli—Aleksander, wait,” Alina called after him as she saw he wouldn’t slow down. “Aleksander, please,” she begged, and his mark started burning—it had never done that before. He stopped at once and turned to her, making her bump into him clumsily.
“It’s not a name for you to shout, Miss Strakov,” he scolded her. “You and Baghra are the only ones aware of it, and I would like to keep it this way.”
“Please don’t call me that,” although Alina sobbed, her voice was strict and steady. “I don’t get it; why would you tell me your name if I didn’t want to accept our bond, and why would I need to tell her where you ar—” Alina’s eyes went wide again as the realization struck her; she wasn’t stupid, after all. She understood death would be the only way to break such a powerful thing.
“No, please don’t—” She grabbed a fistful of his kefta, clinging to him.
“I would rather die than live next to you when you only want to live with someone else. I don’t want to suffer, and I don’t want you to suffer, too. Who you would rather be with after our bond breaks is your decision, but for my sake—don’t go for that otkazat'sya you like; find someone who appreciates you and sees you for who you are. Don’t compromise for less.” The Darkling leaned in to kiss her forehead, the mark burning in return, making Alina gasp.
He gently moved her hands from his kefta and left her there, standing still in the frozen forest, sobbing quietly as he strode back to the Little Palace. Aleksander had much to organize before his demise; he needed everything to be so Ivan could take his place quickly enough as the General of the Second Army. He had lists upon lists of his spies, their last bit of information, and reports that needed to be taken care of.
Aleksander walked into his room shaking. It’s not like him to be afraid of death; he wished to welcome it as a friend rather than an enemy. He just never thought his life would end this way, even though it was fitting that he was the one to finish it—he was the only one strong enough. Alina would be, too, but only after years of training and his grandfather's amplifiers.
Aleksander poured himself a glass of kvas and drew a small vial containing a green substance from one of his many drawers. He had this vial for years, just in case; he had requested it made by the strongest Alkemi he ever knew, and it was supposed to be able to kill him reasonably quickly. He left the vial on his dresser and got to the work of organizing everything for his second-hand man, spies, and mother.
Aleksander tried his best not to think about Alina, how she looked so vulnerable, the way she blushed when he told her about the traditional way of sealing a bond. He knew he would have taken care of her, both physically and mentally, if she had only agreed—but even a powerful bond was worth nothing if it was not accepted willingly.
It had been close to two hours since Aleksander left Alina alone in the forest when a loud knock on the door startled him from his various assignments. He didn’t even say come in before the door blew open, and Alina, eyes wide and panicked, burst into the room.
He was surprised by her attitude but didn’t let it show. Alina smiled in relief as she saw him standing behind his table, eyes puffy from all the tears she had already shed. Aleksander raised a brow, waiting for her to say something. A tingle of hope crawled to his heart, even though he tried to ignore it.
Alina approached him and stood at the other side of the table, standing right in front of him. She shed her kefta from her and exposed her right wrist. “I don’t need this to know that you see me for who I am, that you appreciate me,” she said, her voice shaking. “It was a lot to take in, Aleksander—I have this mark for months , driving myself crazy about what it might mean, reading hundreds of books, and then you just come and say, ‘ hey, we’re soulmates, what do you think ?!” Alina raised her voice and slammed her fist on the table.
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, regaining her control. “I don’t know about Mal, Aleksander; it was the only love I ever knew—but I meant what I said. Tonight wasn’t the first time I thought about the two of us in that way; I do want you, I—I don’t know if that’s something that could last forever, but it is strong enough, so I would never allow you to die.” Alina’s tears were those of frustration and anger, but she took a deep breath and walked to Aleksander’s side of the table.
“I don’t want you to die, Aleksander, but more than that—I want to give us a real chance,” Alina caressed his cheek softly, and he leaned into her touch, both of them ignoring the immense pain from their marks.
“It’s not a regular relationship, milaya ,” Aleksander whispered as he took pleasure in the way Alina caressed his cheek. “I’m not asking you out, It’s not giving us a chance as it might have been if we were a regular couple. Once we agree, we can’t take it back—it wouldn’t just be me killing myself,” he emphasized. “Ending our connection would conclude in death for both of us.”
“I understand,” Alina said quietly, closing the gap even more. She looked at him with wonder he had never seen in his life, making his heart skip a beat. Aleksander leaned farther toward her, cupping her face softly.
“Are you sure?” He asked again, his lips ghosting hers, and she smiled against him. Their marks felt like blazing fire, painful to the extent that made both of them spill their powers. The Darkling’s room was filled with shadows wrapped in rays of light.
“I do,” Alina said firmly and finally kissed the Darkling, who was thirsty for her touch. They both expected the mark’s pain to ease, but it only worsened, not allowing them to enjoy the intimacy the way they wanted. They drew back from each other simultaneously; Alina’s eyes were tearing up again from the pain, and Aleksander gently wiped the tears with his thumb.
He took a step back and offered her his arm, exposed with the inflamed mark, and she laid her exposed arm on his so that both their marks were touching. The pain eased at once with this simple gesture, and they both smiled in relief.
“Now what?” Alina asked, and Aleksander smiled warmly at her.
“I have seen your face, Alina, at The Making at the Heart of the World, and I accept our bond from this day forward—from here to eternity.” Aleksander’s eyes gleamed excitedly, and Alina gasped as her heart skipped a beat. She had never heard something so beautiful. Her tears of pain became tears of joy and excitement; there were no second thoughts in her heart.
Aleksander’s arms started to glow, evident pain scattered over his features, but he didn’t rush Alina. He took deep breaths until she smiled at him confidently, her smile more beaming than he had ever seen her.
“ I have seen your face, Aleksander, at The Making at the Heart of the World , and I accept our bond from this day forward—from here to eternity.”
The pain worsened before it eased utterly. Their arms stopped glowing, and one glance showed them that their marks were no longer inflamed. They weren’t sure who made the first step, but they quickly grabbed each other, kissing each other passionately when they felt their tether opening for the first time. Overwhelmed with emotions, with lust, they devour each other’s lips, relishing in the beautiful thing they have created. They were too busy within themselves to notice that their marks were set permanently on their skin, and the time stamp changed to the moment they accepted their bond.
They were sealed together from that day to eternity.
Willingly.