Work Text:
Alexander Gabriel Claremont-Diaz might lose his job. Or his sanity. Whichever abandons him first.
Friday starts off like any other workday. Alex wakes up ten minutes before his alarm and uses the extra time to triple check his calendar and his to-do list and make sure he has everything for his meeting that day. He goes through his morning routine, having a quick shower before putting on some black slacks and a button-up with flowery patterns on it, grabbing his bag and heading towards the subway. On his way there, he stops by his local Starbucks to get his caffeine intake.
They didn’t mess up his coffee order this time and actually added the cinnamon to it. His subway is on time. Everything is fine.
He gets to the venue just before 10am, which is when his clients are supposed to show up. He checks the location and immediately does a double-take.
The couple that contacted him did state that they did not have a limited budget and that they were willing to pay according to the quality of the service provided. However, Alex didn’t expect for this wedding to happen somewhere straight out of a fairytale.
As a wedding planner, Alex has seen a lot of different people in his life, including actual millionaires. They always make sure to rent the most ridiculous locations for show, which are basically over the top mansions that, in Alex’s eyes, are a poor choice because the location would steal the show rather than the newlywed couple. While these clients certainly had the finances for it, this location is not massive, but rather grand.
It is a fair way away from the city center and thus the noise that is customary for Brooklyn is just a murmur in the distance. The venue is a gorgeous, spacious ballroom directly attached to a well-maintained garden in which trees in different shapes and of different sizes stand tall like statues.
The ballroom itself is a golden color, with high ceilings and a beautiful crystal chandelier in the middle of it. White tables and chairs are pushed towards the walls, having been brought over by Alex’s team the night before.
He makes a mental note of the fact that they might need more outdoor seats as well. He did not realize the garden would be that size. Since this venue was rather elite, Alex could not exactly walk in and inspect it in advance. He was surprised when Miss Fitzroy let him know that they would rent the place for over a week in order to allow Alex to make all the necessary changes. Alex believes renting this place will cost them more than his services as a wedding planner. It is surely the biggest project he has had in a long time.
Alex jots down a few more things he wants to point out to the bride and groom when they arrive, as well as some questions. Now, this is something he loves about his job. Making lists, being organized and pitching an idea to the couple with the pros and cons ready to go just in case they ask.
As he is writing the last sentence, he hears the massive oak double doors that serve as an entrance open again and sees two people walk in. Both of them seem to be around his age. One of them is a petite woman with strawberry blonde hair and a kind smile, wearing a blue summer dress. Next to her is…
Probably the most stunning man Alex has ever seen in his life. He is tall, freakishly tall actually, with dark blonde hair and in a polo shirt that clings to his body in a way that makes it difficult for Alex to look away at first.
“Miss Fitzroy and Mr. Fox, is that correct?” Alex asks, giving himself a mental pat on the back for managing to tear his eyes away from the groom to look at the bride.
He holds out his hand and Miss Fitzroy shakes it with a smile. “Please call me Martha. This is Henry,” she says in a British accent, pointing at her fiancé who proceeds to give Alex a short handshake. Alex notices that his hands are clammy, like he is sweating. He also will not look Alex in the eye.
“It is nice to meet you. I am Alex and my job here is to do everything for you so all you have to worry about is look pretty on your wedding day and organize your honeymoon,” Alex says in an attempt to break the ice. Martha laughs at that and Henry, who has started looking around the venue, lets a smile creep on his face as well.
“You are an angel,” Martha says, taking out a notebook. “So, I made some notes of the most important things, even though they were also summed up in the e-mail my fiancé sent you, which you should have received, correct?” She waits until Alex’s nod to confirm before moving on. “But I wouldn’t mind going through them again just to be on the safe side.” Alex likes her already.
But there is something on his mind. “How does someone as organized as you send me a frantic e-mail asking me if I can take care if organizing a wedding that is in two weeks?”
“Oh, well, we weren’t going to have the wedding here. We planned for everything back in England, but something came up and we aren’t able to go so we changed everything last minute. I hope that’s not too stressful for you.”
Alex gives her one of his charming smiles. “I assure you that you are one of the least stressful couples I have had to work with organization-wise. Unless you freak out on your wedding day and throw a stiletto at my head, we’re cool.”
The whole meeting is… peculiar to say the least. Not because of the wedding plans themselves, because Martha seems to be absolutely prepared on all fronts and have everything sorted out already. Alex is more than happy to make her white and gold theme happen and to set up a little pavilion somewhere in the garden. She hands him a list of guests and the seating plan and Alex thanks her as he puts it in his folder along all the other documents for the venue, as he will not be needing those for another few days until the tables are actually set up. Overall, Alex and Martha make a good team, asking each other the right questions and finding solutions together.
The peculiar thing is Henry. For someone who is supposed to be getting married in a week, he sure as hell seems distracted. He spends most of the time looking at the décor and letting Martha do the talking. Every now and again he would look over at Alex and look back at the ceiling as soon as their eyes meet as if he was caught doing something he should not do.
It’s not like Alex hasn’t worked with difficult couples before. However, most of those difficult couples disagreed and fought all throughout their consultation. Henry and Martha barely talk to each other. Sometimes Martha asks Henry his opinion on something, but he answers in one word and that is the end of it. Henry seems uncomfortable and Martha looks at him in a weird way, as if this is not normal behavior. Which of course it isn’t. They don’t even stand too close to each other, so one would think they were strangers if they weren’t at a wedding venue.
Alex has a feeling this wedding will be a pain in the ass for more than one person.
As they get towards the end of the meeting, Alex almost manages to forget that Henry is in the room with them. The keyword being ‘almost’ because that fucker is still the most attractive man Alex has ever seen. Objectively. He is painfully aware of the fact that he can’t look his way for too long.
“Okay, so I believe those are all the questions on my side. Is there anything else you would like to know, Martha?” Alex asks, going through his list.
She seems to think for a moment before shaking her head. “Not really. Do you mind if I take a quick look around the garden so I can have an idea about where the lights and the pavilion will be?”
“Sure, go for it. Would you like me to accompany you?” Alex asks.
“No, I will be just a moment. Henry, can you also wait here a second?” she asks with a knowing smile and Henry looks back at her as if he wants to run away but nods.
Then Martha is gone and the two men are left alone in the ballroom. Alex is usually a complete professional but there is something about this guy that is bothering him so much that he can’t stop himself from saying “You know, I have never had a consultation with anyone as quiet as you.”
Henry seems to finally look up at Alex at that. Their eyes lock for a moment and Henry’s cheeks turn slightly pink before he says. “Um…sorry, I just…don’t really know much about these things. It is my first time,” he speaks, and his accent is slightly different from Martha’s. Alex knows nothing about British accents and which one belongs to which part of the UK but maybe he will look into it after this because something about Henry’s is doing it for him.
Alex laughs at that. “Well, yeah, I would sure hope so.” The guy does not look any older than Alex so he would be surprised if this wasn’t his first marriage.
Henry looks at him with something like plain confusion for a moment before continuing. “Martha has everything sorted out, luckily. I am just here in case she needs a second opinion on the cake. That, I know how to pick.” He offers Alex a shy smile that reaches his eyes and for some reason that simple gesture turns his insides to mush.
Alex did not expect this guy to have a sense of humor, but he finds himself laughing again. “Well, guess I will see you at the cake tasting tomorrow. Though I have to warn you, most people feel so sick after a cake tasting that they don’t wanna see cake for a month afterwards.”
Henry looks back up at him then and there is something fragile in his eyes as he says. “It will be worth it if that means I get to see you again.”
Before Alex can think too much about what those words mean, Martha comes back inside, interrupting them. She tells Alex all her plans about the garden and Alex, ever the professional, manages to focus enough to take notes about that in his sketches. He doesn’t look back up at Henry until the very end when he bids him and Martha goodbye and Henry smiles at him the same way he did earlier, all warm and genuine and…dangerous.
Alex reminds himself that this train of thought is dangerous.
The bride and the groom are out of the ballroom in a blur. He lets out a long sigh and sits down on one of the chairs that is randomly placed near the wall, clutching his folder close to his chest.
He can admit to himself that Henry is indeed the most attractive man he has laid eyes upon. Any person with common sense would agree with him there so he doesn’t read that much into it. He argues that that is why he started sweating when Henry smiled at him, just like he sometimes sweats when he watches Star Wars and he sees Han Solo on screen. Just two objectively attractive men, nothing more.
What he can’t understand is the fact that Henry was very bluntly flirting with him.
And while the flirting itself did not make Alex uncomfortable, he had to remind himself that Henry was one of his clients and that his fiancée was just outside the door while Henry flirted with him.
Henry is getting married and his soon-to-be wife surely won’t appreciate him hitting on a guy or that guy being their wedding planner.
He needs to get a grip.
To Alex’s surprise the following day, Henry is the one to do the most talking when it comes to the cake tasting. It is quite the opposite of the way their first meeting went, so Alex doesn’t really know how to handle it.
However, there isn’t really much that needs to be handled. They meet at Amy’s bakery, with whom Alex had been working for years. If he needed a cake done perfectly in a short amount of time, he knew he could always count on her. Amy already has twelve varieties of sample-size cakes ready to go for them as soon as they walk in and then they get down to talking and tasting.
Henry seems to really know what he is talking about. He compliments Amy’s baking skills several times, which almost makes her swoon, and Alex is kind of relieved to find out he is not the only one who finds Henry so charming.
When it comes down to actually tasting the cakes, Martha lets him take the lead on that. From texture to the way two flavors go together, Henry really seems to know what he is talking about. He takes meticulous notes, agreeing with Martha on a rating between 1 and 5 for each cake.
“This one is pretty good,” Martha comments about a blueberry mascarpone cake, which Alex thought would be a candidate for a winner.
Henry, however, scrunches up his nose in the cutest way. “Pip doesn’t really fancy mascarpone so I am afraid that’s a no-go.” Alex briefly wonders who Pip is and why his opinion is a deal-breaker but decides not to meddle.
He is starting to believe none of the cakes will get a perfect five and then the best (or arguably the worst) thing that could possibly happen happens. When Henry takes a bite out of the next piece of cake, which is a lavender sponge with lemon filling and vanilla buttercream, he lets out a noise that sounds considerably like a moan and that travels to regions in Alex’s body that should definitely not be responding right now.
Shit.
Martha then looks like she might punch Henry for his manners, but, once she takes a bite of the cake too, her eyes widen. “Good God, that is stunning,” she says once she has swallowed, turning to Henry with a smile.
Henry smiles smugly, shrugging. Alex looks between the two of them, slightly confused, until Henry speaks. “Oh, I suggested to add the lemon lavender to the list of cakes we should taste. Martha didn’t think it sounded great but it looks like she changed her mind.”
Alex is in awe for a moment. Now he kind of understands why Henry said he would be useful for the cake tasting. “Wow, you sure know a lot about baking. Did you like go to culinary school or something?” he asks curiously, opting for small talk.
Henry laughs a hearty laugh at that. “A culinary school called Bake-Off that you attend by switching on the TV, yes. You wouldn’t want to see me in the kitchen though. I will stick to writing.”
“Oh, you’re a writer,” Alex asks curiously, slightly leaning forward. “What do you write?”
Henry looks sheepish now that all of Alex’s attention is on him. “Poetry, mostly. I have recently published my first novel though, and it has been doing well so far.”
“Hm, how come I have never heard about Henry Fox before then?”
Henry looks down, seemingly self-conscious. Alex thinks he is not going to answer but then Martha steps in and answers for him. “He uses a pen name. James Edwards. Two of his middle names. It helps him stay anonymous when it comes to fans.”
James Edwards. Now that rings a bell. Alex hasn’t had much time to read lately since weddings have been keeping him busy since the spring, but he knows he has seen his book in the bestseller aisle in bookstores. He lets out a low whistle. “Damn, I haven’t had a chance to read your book, but it seems like you are doing well.”
Martha’s eyes light up with something that looks like mischief. “Henry, darling, maybe you could give Alex a signed copy of your book so he can read it.”
Alex can swear that he sees Henry full on blushing at that and he wonders what exactly is going on here. “I...um...of course, yeah,” he says, uncertain.
“Awesome,” Alex replies, even though he has no clue what Henry’s book is even about. So before they can find that out about him, he changes the subject. “How did you two end up in New York anyway?”
Martha speaks first. “Oh, I’ve lived here for most of my life. My family moved here when I was still fairly young and here I am still.”
Then Henry fills him in on his side of the story. “I came here to study, fresh out of my A-levels. Once I was done with my course, I was supposed to move back to England but my brother Philip moved here for work and my mum begged me to stay here so we could be together as a family. Not long after, my sister Bea joined us. And then Philip and Martha started working together and now...here we are,” he explains and before he can elaborate on that, Amy interrupts them.
“So, do we have a winner? Sorry to bother but the sooner I know, the sooner I can get started on planning all nine tiers of your cake,” she says sincerely. Alex is reminded just how obscenely huge this wedding is. Nine fucking tiers.
“I think the lavender lemon cake it is, right?” Alex asks Henry and Martha, who both nod in unison. “Come on Amy, I will walk you through the decorations the couple wishes. If you will excuse me,” he tells Henry and Martha as he heads towards the counter with Amy.
From there, he can still see bride and groom where they are sitting and it looks like they are arguing about something. And weirdly, even when they are arguing, they still don’t look like any other couple Alex has ever seen before. Alex also can’t hear what they are saying because they are keeping their voices low, so he focuses on briefing Amy about everything.
When he walks back, he overhears a tiny bit of their conversation.
“Henry, come on, you need to give it a try.”
“Martha, let it go, please, there is no point.”
“But he is so totally into-“
Alex clears his throat then to notify the two that he is back, and Henry turns his head towards him so fast he is surprised he doesn’t break something. Alex tries to cooly ignore the reaction as he speaks. “Amy will have your cake all ready to go on time for your wedding. Trust me, she is the best there is so it will all be perfect.” He takes another look at his check list. “As far as I know, the next two days are reserved for us getting the venue ready for you and then on Tuesday you can come in and decide if you want anything else changed. Does that sound good to you?”
“Sounds marvelous,” Martha says, clapping her hands excitingly. “Thank you so much for your help, Alex.”
“You won’t thank me anymore once you get my invoice.” Alex winks but smiles softly at them. He could swear that Henry’s face turns two shades darker.
On Saturday, once the cake tasting is done, Alex uses the rest of the day to coordinate with his team and the florist and the band and make sure everyone is on the same page. So on Sunday, he thinks he totally deserves a fun night out, especially since his first meeting on Monday is at noon. Maybe that will also help him stop thinking about Henry, who has been on his mind more than he would like to admit.
Okay so, maybe Alex isn’t 100% straight since he is thinking about a dude and his perfect hair and his stupid perfect face so much. That’s cool. He doesn’t want to spend too much time dwelling on that new information especially since in this particular case it will not get him anywhere anyway. Because Henry likes women, and he is getting married to one. Alex has never had a scandal at work just because of a pretty face and he won’t start now.
So, he asks Nora and June to accompany him on a night out, to which his best friend and his sister would never say no. They’re all dressed to impress, Alex wearing the skinniest skinny jeans he owns and a dark blue V-neck that accentuates his collarbones.
“You look like you wanna bone yourself. Let’s go,” Nora tells him, dragging him away from the mirror.
Alex sighs. “Well, if no one else will,” he says dramatically, stopping at the fact that his brain immediately pictures the bluest eyes he’s ever seen in front of him. Bad Alex. Stop.
“Can we stop talking about my brother’s sex life when I am right here?” June asks, looking disgusted.
“Gladly,” Alex agrees and then they all make their way out to the uber that is supposed to arrive in two minutes.
Their ride to the club is comfortable as Nora and June both catch him up on everything he had missed that week while being busy with work. Alex listens, but half of his mind is still busy thinking about Henry and then another part of his mind is busy screaming at him about how morally wrong it is to think about Henry.
Nora and June quickly pick up on the fact that something is up because as soon as they are sat down at the bar and have their drinks, they look at him like he is in an interrogation room.
“Okay, your mind is somewhere else, what is that about?” Nora asks, taking a sip of her tequila sunrise.
Alex tries to look neutral. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says, not really wanting to talk about his stupid crush.
However, June joins Nora in her attempts. “Bullshit. Now tell us or we are going to blackmail it out of you.” One of your best friends being your sister is always dangerous for the exact reason that June knows stuff about him that Alex doesn’t want to ever see the light of day.
“Fine. But I will need something stronger than this if you want me to say it all out loud,” he mutters and proceeds to order a glass of whiskey.
Once he has a shot in his system, he starts talking. He talks about seeing Henry the first time and how he looks like a fucking Adonis and the fact that he is most likely into dudes now. Neither Nora nor June seem surprised by that part. But then he starts talking about him and Martha and about how Martha is such a sweetheart and has been so nice to him while Alex has been so totally crushing on her fiancé.
When he is done with his story, he downs another shot just to pat himself on the back for getting the words out. Nora and June look at each other for what feels like hours, then back at him.
“So you are crushing on a guy?” Nora asks, apparently trying to state the facts.
“A guy who is soon-to-be married,” June adds, picking up her pace.
“In five days, to be precise,” Alex laughs humorlessly.
“But the guy and his fiancée don’t really seem like they are in love to you?”
“And he tried to flirt with you?” June questions, raising an eyebrow.
Alex thinks back to Henry’s words ‘It will be worth it if that means I get to see you again’ and the way his ears turned red when he said them. “It sure fucking felt that way. Unless he is that friendly to everyone.”
“Have you thought of telling the bride about it?” Nora asks seriously. “She like, needs to know. Or you need to be forward with Henry about it and ask him what he is playing at.”
Alex sighs. He is still not 100% sure about what Henry’s deal is and he knows that once he says something he can’t take it back. “I don’t know, I don’t know if I am imagining the flirting in my head simply because he is so hot and everything he says is hot and his smile is brighter than the fucking sun and he is...right there,” he finishes, freezing.
“He’s not exactly ‘right there’. If he is married, he is out of your reach,” Nora argues, using air quotes, but Alex shakes his head.
“No, I mean he is coming our way,” Alex clarifies, looking at Henry who seems to have noticed him in the crowd and is coming over to say hello. He is wearing jeans and a white button-down shirt and is accompanied by a tall, glamorous man with dark skin and colorful pink hair that matches the flamingo pattern on his suit. Really a sight to see.
June and Nora seem to take Henry in for a moment and then they share another one of those looks that annoys Alex so much because he can’t decipher them.
Then, before he can think too much about it, Henry is standing in front of him, a wide smile on his face. “Alex, fancy seeing you here,” he says, looking him up and down before fixing his gaze back on his eyes.
Is this fucker checking him out?
He swallows the lump in his throat and says, a bit hoarsely. “I didn’t expect to see you either. Thought you would be too busy with the wedding buzz.”
“It was getting a bit too stressful for me, needed to get away,” he answers and, again, that is not something Alex expects to hear from someone who is genuinely looking forward to getting married. Before Alex can say anything else, Henry motions to his friend. “This is my best mate, Pez. He didn’t want to let me drink alone tonight.”
Alex then realizes that his sister and Nora are still sitting right next to him and he clears his throat. “Nice to meet you, Pez. This is June, my sister, and Nora, her girlfriend,” he says and he sees something flash in Henry’s eyes when the word ‘girlfriend’ passes his lips, but it is gone before he can look into it.
“It is lovely to meet you all. Would any of you care to dance? I’ve been trying to convince this one for ages but no luck,” Pez says, nudging Henry’s shoulder. Now that he thinks about it, Alex can see that Henry doesn’t seem all that comfortable in a club setting. He looks tense, as if he is trying to make himself look smaller than he actually is.
Must be fucking hard to do when you are a giant that Alex would love to climb like a tree.
Okay, maybe those shots were a bad idea.
“Oh, hell yeah,” he hears June cheer next to him. “Come on, babe, we’re dancing.” She grabs Nora’s hand, and they head towards the dancefloor with Pez, leaving Alex alone with Henry before he can even get a chance to protest.
Henry seems to contemplate for a moment before he sits down on the now empty stool next to Alex, putting his half-empty margarita down on the bar. “You don’t want to dance?” he asks.
Alex shakes his head. At this time, he would usually be out on the dancefloor trying to charm someone. But something is holding him back and he hates it. He hates it because he knows he shouldn’t be talking to Henry right now. He reminds himself that Henry is not available and he needs to stay away, but the alcohol in his blood makes him talk. “Don’t really feel like dancing right now. Can I ask you a question?”
Henry raises his eyebrows. “You already did,” he says, then chuckles at his own joke.
“Ha ha, very funny,” Alex stops himself from calling him a smartass, reminding himself that Henry is the one who will sign that check with a lot of zeros for him once the wedding is done. “Why are you so nervous about the wedding?” he asks, this time serious.
Henry plays with the glass in front of him for a moment, fidgeting, and Alex is not sure he is going to answer but then he opens his mouth. “I am just afraid of letting my family down. My brother Philip has always been rather... critical of my life choices. Ever since Martha joined the family, he’s gotten a lot better but there is still that fear at the back of my mind and…it is a wedding and I want it to be a good day for them.”
Alex frowns. As much as he tries to tell himself Henry is an asshole for flirting with him, he can’t help but feel sorry for the guy. “Hey, don’t let your family ruin the day for you,” he says, placing a comforting hand on Henry’s shoulder. He feels a wave like electricity when they touch.
Henry lets out a small laugh. “I think I should worry more about me ruining their day, Alex.”
Alex doesn’t really know what to say to that or why Henry is prioritizing someone else’s happiness over his own on his special day, so he changes the subject entirely. Now that they started talking, it would be even more awkward if they stopped all of a sudden, so they make some small talk and somehow that makes things even worse because Henry is so easy to talk to and now that they are not talking about the wedding he truly lets himself go and lets himself laugh and it is just everything.
Alex is in too deep already. He should stop this here.
“I can’t believe you named your dog David! What kind of lame-ass name is that?” Alex asks, laughing so hard he almost falls off his stool.
Henry puts a hand on his hard, mock offended by Alex’s words. “How dare you disrespect Sir Bowie like that?”
Alex stops laughing for a moment, squinting at Henry. “Wait, you named him after Bowie? Of course you picked the boring name, you are the guy who choose James Edwards as a stage name instead of Henry Fox, which is much cooler.”
Henry hushes him by placing a finger on Alex’s lips and Alex freezes at the touch, but Henry doesn’t seem to notice. “Can you not give away my secret identity to the entire bar? I have a reputation to maintain,” he says, dropping his hand and sticking his chin out, trying to look tough. To Alex, it just makes him look adorable.
Alex purses his lips before asking the next question. “Why use a pen name at all? Why don’t you want people to know you? I mean you told me that you are a writer and it did not seem like a big deal.”
Henry’s smile falters just the smallest bit. “Henry Fox is an anxious mess who would not be able to handle all the attention pointed his way. George Edwards is but a name on a cover and he interacts with his fans online without showing his face and he is confident while doing so but the amount of feedback he gets can still be overwhelming sometimes. So I guess… Henry Fox just isn’t ready for the whole world to know about him, but it is okay if some people find out.”
A moment passes between them, somehow feeling like two seconds and like two hours at the same time, neither of them speaking. This seemed like a really personal thing for Henry to share and Alex does not know what to do with that information or how to move on from it. So he does what he does best: he uses humor.
“Some people, huh? Watch out, Fox, you might make me feel special,” he says teasingly, but the way Henry looks back at him shows him that he isn’t joking.
“I am starting to believe you are, Alex,” Henry says earnestly and that is the very moment Alex’s brain short circuits. Henry’s hand finds its way to Alex’s thigh and Alex’s skin feels hot where Henry is touching him even through his jeans. The way those blue eyes are looking at him doesn’t make it any better. He feels like the intensity might set him on fire any moment now. “Alex, I really enjoy talking to you,” Henry says, and his voice is now lower. Alex has to focus to hear him over the music.
He tries to make a light-hearted joke about it, not letting it mean too much. “You’re not too bad yourself.”
Henry laughs another one of his hearty laughs at that and shakes his head, not looking away from Alex the entire time. “God, you are going to bloody kill me,” Henry mutters under his breath and then everything happens very fast.
Henry uses the hand he has on Alex’s thigh to balance himself as he leans forward, pressing his lips to Alex’s. His free hand finds its way into Alex’s curls, pressing him closer into the kiss and Alex lets his guard fall as his own hands get a grip of Henry’s hips. He lets himself get lost in all the heat, the want, the energy Henry gives off. Henry bites on his bottom lip gently and Alex gasps at the feeling, his mouth falling open. Henry takes that as an invitation to explore Alex’s mouth with his tongue and Alex sees fucking stars because there is no way this is happening. There is no way he is kissing a guy and there is no way that guy kisses like he is sex on legs and this just can’t be real.
Then he regains some of his rational thinking and realizes that it isn’t real. Henry isn’t Alex’s to kiss and he never will be.
It takes all his mental strength to push Henry away because he doesn’t want the kiss to end knowing that he can’t do it again. But he needs to end it. So he pulls away and opens his eyes and his heart fucking breaks when he sees the scared look on Henry’s face.
Henry looks like he is either going to say something or kiss him again or cry, but Alex doesn’t give him the chance. “I can’t do this, Henry, it’s not right,” Alex says, regaining his breath and hopping off the stool as fast as he can. “You can’t do this.”
Henry looks confused and sad, and Alex absolutely hates that look on his face. However, Alex also hates thinking about what Martha will look like when she finds out her fiancé kissed another man.
“Why can’t we do this?” Henry asks him, breaking Alex’s train of thought.
Alex laughs incredulously. “What the fuck? I can’t believe you are asking me that. You know what…just leave me alone!” Alex hisses, a bit louder than he would like to, then turns around and starts walking towards the exit. He takes out his phone to call an uber and to let Nora and June know he is leaving. He hears Henry say something behind him, but the blood is rushing in his ears and he tunes it out, walking faster. He looks back once, checking to see if Henry is still there, but he is gone. Good.
Nora and June end up coming after him as soon as they get his text and they all take the same ride home. They suggest to let him crash at their place that night and he doesn’t say no, so now he is sitting on their couch with a tub of cookie dough ice cream, feeling sorry for himself.
The girls know him well and they know when it is better to not talk to him, but they don’t leave him alone either. June sits down on the floor with her guitar, softly plucking the strings. Nora just finished making then all hot chocolate and is now sitting next to Alex on the sofa, pulling out a book.
Alex looks over to see what she is reading and when he sees the name on the cover, he groans. “Fucking hell, Nora, out of all the books in the world?”
June stops playing his guitar and looks at him. “Oh wonder, he can talk.”
Alex rolls his eyes at her and snatches the book out of Nora’s hands. She yelps. “What is your problem?”
“My problem is that you’re reading Henry’s book right in front of my salad!” he says, waving the copy of Looking for Orion around wildly.
Both June and Nora stop at that. “Alex, this book is written by James Edwards,” June states, raising an eyebrow.
Alex realizes then that in his entire retelling of him crushing on the dude whom he kissed tonight, he never mentioned his career or his pen name to his friends. Well, even if it is his secret, he is an asshole so Alex doesn’t feel bad about telling them. “Come on, do you really think James Edwards is someone’s real name? It’s a pseudonym. His real name is Henry obtuse fucking asshole Fox.”
June and Nora do it for the third time that night, they look into each other’s eyes like- “You look like you know something I don’t,” Alex says out loud.
“That’s because we do, moron,” Nora says, snatching the tub of ice cream and the book from Alex and keeping the ice cream while dropping the book on his lap. “Here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to leave you alone because you will need time to process this. Read the author’s note and the acknowledgements in that book. And when you get your head out of your ass and feel like talking, let us know.”
Alec shakes his head, mouth open. “Why would I-“
“Don’t question it,” Nora says, kissing his temple gently. “Read and cry, dumbass.”
And then, without a second thought, June and Nora both pick up their mugs of hot chocolate and disappear into their bedroom, leaving Alex to his own devices.
He stares at the book like it personally offended him. The cover is simple, just a sky full of stars and the silhouette of a man sitting down on a hill looking up at them.
Alex wonders again why his sister and Nora are doing this to him, but he knows they won’t leave him be until he humors them, so he opens the first page where the author’s note is.
His eyes widen when he reads the first sentence.
As a gay boy who grew up in a severely heteronormative environment, I used to look for books that would make me feel like I am not alone, like there are others like me out there struggling. This is what I hope Looking for Orion will be for my queer readers.
Henry is gay. That is new information.
He reads through the rest of the paragraph quickly, touched by the way Henry expresses himself in his writing. He wouldn’t expect anything else from someone who seems like he is a God, good at everything, but he is still impressed.
Then, he does as he has been told and flips over to the end of the book where the acknowledgements are.
I would like to thank my family for their support that has grown throughout the years. Special thanks to my sister, my brother and I would to my brother’s fiancée, Martha, who has been my #1 fan from the day we met.
Alex’s jaw drops to the floor.
His brother’s fiancée.
His brain is thinking too many things at once, so he makes a list.
- He is into guys (smallest surprise of the night).
- Henry Fox is gay.
- Henry’s brother, Philip, is the one getting married.
- Henry kissed him tonight.
- Alex pushed Henry away because he thought he was a cheater.
- Henry tried to tell him the truth but Alex wouldn’t listen.
- Henry might genuinely like him.
- Shit shit shit
He realizes that Martha and Henry never referred to each other as the bride and groom. The puzzle pieces all fall into place, Martha taking the reins when it comes to planning, every single time they mentioned Philip.
He takes out his phone, checking his e-mails. It was weird because even though they didn’t introduce themselves as bride and groom, Martha and Henry should have thought about the fact that Alex would assume they were the couple. Especially since he was expecting a Miss Fitzroy and a Mr. Fox and that is exactly what he got. There was no notification about a change of plans that would make them think it was obvious to Alex that-
He looks at his spam folder. One e-mail from Friday morning.
From: H. Fox,
Mr. Claremont-Diaz,
I hope this e-mail finds you well.
My brother, Philip Fox, has a meeting with you today and tomorrow regarding his wedding. Unfortunately, Philip is unable to attend due to a family emergency and I will accompany the bride along the upcoming days. I hope this doesn’t inconvenience you in any way.
Thank you for your understanding.
Best regards
Henry Fox
Alex moved on auto-pilot then, putting his pocket back in his pocket, picking the book back up and heading towards the girls’ bedroom. He knocks once before going in and finds Nora and June watching some cheesy rom com. “I am an idiot,” he mutters when he walks in and then the girls turn to look at him, but instead of laughing, as he had expected, they seem genuinely concerned.
“Yes, you are,” June says gently. “But it’s okay, we still love you.”
“I am bisexual,” he blurts out, unsure where it comes from. Maybe the self -discovery he just made and dismissed as not a big surprise was something he still needed to process.
“Welcome to the club,” Nora tells him, standing up and putting a hand on his shoulder. “Need to talk about it?”
Alex wants to tell them no, as he always does when it comes to talking about feelings, but the truth is...he needs to.
So he does.
Alex loses track of time while talking about his crisis, but it feels good to get it all out. It isn’t really a ‘crisis’ per se, more just him putting together the puzzle pieces that have been falling into place for years and accepting it. He knows his family will support him, since both his mom and dad are really supportive of Nora and June his mom always makes a point to talk to Alex in a gender neutral way whenever she asks about his love life. Huh, maybe parents do have a way of just knowing.
He is so grateful to have both Nora and his sister by his side for this, because otherwise he thinks he would be freaking out considerably more, but this way he gets just the right amount of support and snarky remarks from his girls and it is everything he needs.
At some point, he looks at his watch and sees that it is already 2am, remembering he still has to work tomorrow and so do June and Nora. They all decide that Alex going home would just be a waste of time at this point even though he is feeling emotionally much better, so he still crashes on their couch. Except he can’t sleep, because now that he solved one problem, he is awfully aware of another.
He just rejected Henry and the poor guy doesn’t even know why Alex blew him off like that. Alex wants to see him again, but he isn’t sure that Henry wants the same after the way he reacted. That thought makes his chest ache and stops him from closing an eye all night.
He is stuck staring at the ceiling at first, but then realizes his thoughts are too loud and decides to distract himself with something. That something being Looking for Orion.
Alex makes himself another hot chocolate, careful not to wake June or Nora up and then he sits down on the couch with the book in his lap staring at it. Once he convinces himself it is not going to grow teeth and bite him, he opens it to the first page of the prologue.
It starts off solid, like a really well-written self-discovery story, but about 100 pages in it gets...intense in a very explicit way. The way Henry describes the things his characters do to each other, well, Alex probably should not have read that. He can never get his sanity back and now if he faces Henry again all he will be able to think of is all the different positions Henry so enthusiastically writes about.
Speaking of facing Henry, he is aware he must do that sooner rather than later because the longer he puts it off, the longer Henry will have the wrong impression for. And Alex really, really wants to see Henry again now that the thought doesn’t override him with guilt.
So around 6am, after he’s read quite a big chunk of the book and he decides he won’t be getting any sleep now that the sun is out anyway, he takes his heart in his teeth and writes an e-mail
From: ACD Events
Henry,
I was a dick. Can we talk? I will explain everything.
Alex
He doesn’t expect Henry to reply yet considering it is ass o’clock in the morning but after just about 15 minutes he gets a response.
From: H. Fox
How about coffee? I know a good place near High Street, Coffee One, wanna go there?
Henry
Alex gets ready in record time, thanking his past self for always keeping a change of clothes at June’s apartment. It is not the fanciest fit, casual more than anything, but it will do and at least the dark t-shirt and jeans combo matches the dark circles under his eyes.
He gets to the cafe around 8:30, fashionably early. They said they would meet at nine so Alex orders himself a coffee, hoping the effect of it will make him look a little bit more alive by the time Henry gets there. No such luck though, because Henry is also early and he gets there merely ten minutes later, getting to see Alex in all his zombie glory.
Alex looks at him as he walks in and Henry motions towards the bar, going to get himself a drink before sitting down. As he waits at the counter, Alex looks at his long legs and at the way he moves, looks at the way his hair looks just a little bit untidy, like he hasn’t slept either, looks at the way Henry nervously fidgets with a packet of sugar and he realizes that now, he can look at Henry, he can observe all these little things and he doesn’t have to look away.
Fuck, he is beautiful.
Henry gets to his table and takes a seat opposite Alex, looking mildly nervous. He puts his cup of tea and his cookie he got to go with it down on the table and crosses his hands. “Hello,” he breathes out.
“Hi,” Alex answers, unsure what to say next. All he can do is stare. He stares at Henry’s beautiful eyes that look like they have entire galaxies hidden in them. He stares at the way Henry furrows his brows, like he is thinking hard about something. He stares at Henry’s lips, thinking of the way they felt on his own and about the fact that he wants that to happen again soon.
Henry seems to notice what Alex is looking at and he shifts uncomfortably. “Look, I am so sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have...you know, kissed you.”
Alex’s face falls at that. “No, no, please don’t apologize for that. I...um...okay wait,” he says, trying to sort out his thoughts and waving his hands around. “I need to say everything in a certain order because I had it all prepared, okay?” he asks and waits until Henry nods before continuing. “So...I only just found out last night that you’re not getting married to Martha. The e-mail you sent me before our meeting landed in my spam folder and I am obviously an idiot who doesn’t check and this whole time I thought you were straight. That is the only reason why it surprised me when you kissed me.”
Alex watches the emotions change on Henry’s face...from nervous to confused to slightly amused. He’s biting down on his lip and Alex is pretty sure that he’s holding back a laugh. “Me and Martha?”
Alex groans. “I know, I know... you two didn’t even look like a couple! It was just the fact that you were organizing everything together and I remember the name of the groom was Fox but I had forgotten the first name so when you showed up I assumed it was you. In my defense, you never told me you were the best man or the groom’s brother, you know?”
Henry looks down sheepishly at that. “I suppose. I am sorry, I should have known when there was no response to that e-mail that you hadn’t read it.” Then he looks back at Alex and every time their eyes meet, Alex feels himself falling apart just a bit more. “So what you told me last night.. about how you can’t do this…”
“It was because I thought you wanted me to be your mistress or something,” Alex confirms, laughing as the words come out of his mouth.
“My mistress?” Henry says, looking horrified. “Please never use that word again or I will actually jump headfirst in the ocean and swim back to England.”
Then Alex remembers a little something from his late-night/early-morning reading. “The Thisbe to your Pyramus then?” he asks in a low voice, so only Henry could hear.
The blonde almost chokes on the cookie he had been eating. After coughing a couple times, he eyes Alex knowingly. “You read my book?” he asks, knowing very well that ‘Thisbe to my Pyramus’ is a reoccurring phrase in Looking for Orion.
Alex just shrugs, the embarrassment leaving his body and finally feeling like he has the upper hand again. “That’s how I found out you’re gay. If it hadn’t been for that, I would have been none the wiser and avoided you for the rest of eternity. I was actually thinking of asking my co-worker to take over the wedding for me.”
Henry's hand shakes slightly when he picks up his cup of tea. “Martha would kill me if you did that. She absolutely loves you and she’s been encouraging me to ask you out since the first day.”
Alex smiles a little smugly at that. “Well, are you going to?” he asks, trying to sound nonchalant.
“Going to what?”
“Ask me out, dumbass.” And if Henry wasn’t so attractive and perfect, Alex would be tempted to walk out on him and make him work for it, but no way he is passing on getting to kiss those lips again, properly this time.
“Oh,” Henry replies, he looks like he thinks for a moment, then continues. “Alex, would you like to come to my brother’s wedding?”
Alex blinks twice. “Henry, I have to go. I am literally the coordinator for everything.”
“Right.” Now he is biting his lip. How cute. “Well, I was wondering if you wanted to be my date. We can talk and when you are done with your duties, we could dance and stuff.”
“And stuff...” Alex mimics, enjoying this a little too much.
“Yeah, well... Philip is back in New York now and he wants me to be all hands on deck for the wedding so I won’t really have time for a real date until after Friday but I would really...like it if you agreed to be my date.”
“Hmm, I guess I could spare a bit of time to dance with a dashingly handsome writer. Makes me sound very mysterious.”
The nerves seem to leave Henry’s body then as he relaxes and laughs a little. Alex doesn’t miss the way his face heats up at the compliment. “I thought you were straight at first. I saw you and I thought you are the hottest guy ever and I just thought you weren’t interested.”
“I thought I was straight too,” Alex admits, leaning over the table to whisper to Henry. “But I kind of want your tongue in my mouth again so I think that ship has sailed.” He winks and Henry seems to lose his ability to talk for a moment.
“You are a menace.”
“I’ve been called worse, sweetheart. Speaking of, about that book…” Alex trails off, very vividly remembering what he had read in a sleepy daze earlier that morning.
“God, you will never let me hear the end of it.”
“Not until we do everything that Adam and Rory got to do together. By the way, about that scene you wrote about them having sex in a storage closet at Wimbledon... how much of what you write is actually your own experience and fantasies?” Alex asks, as matter-of-factly as if he is asking about the weather.
Henry looks at him like he may actually flee the country if Alex doesn’t stop talking. “This is NOT a conversation I will have on a first date.”
Alex’s eyebrows shoot up. “So this is a date?”
“Nope, because when I tell my friends about you, I refuse to tell them that you talked about having sex in a storage closet on our first date. The wedding will be our first date,” Henry says decisively and somehow his authority does things to Alex.
So, he swallows hard and looks at Henry’s lips again, licking his own. He thinks again about the night before and where things might have gone if Alex hadn’t been such an idiot and misread things. He thinks he has a pretty good idea of where they would have gone, so he takes a leap. “So... talking about your book is off the table but is actually having sex before a first date something you would do?”
Henry looks at him incredulously, but not appalled. Alex can see a little glint of something in his eyes and he swears Henry checks him out once before talking. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?” he asks.
Alex checks his watch. 9.30. “I have like two hours before I need to leave.”
The most wicked, gorgeous smile spreads on Henry’s face at that. “Well, lucky for you, my apartment is just around the corner.”
“Then what the fuck are we still doing here?”
They make it just outside the café before Henry pulls Alex into a secluded alley and kisses him again, this time properly and with purpose. Alex’s legs feels like they are about to give out when he feels Henry’s hands in his hair and he bites on his bottom lip, dragging out a sound that Alex would be mildly embarrassed about if he weren’t so desperate to get Henry alone. His hands are anywhere they can get, on Henry’s shoulders, on his waist and then he pulls away from the kiss feeling breathless.
“You’re not going to run away this time, are you?” Henry asks him, sounding just a bit scared.
Alex takes his hand, making him walk again. “Nope. But we’re still on a time limit, baby, so lead the way.”
Henry almost stumbles and falls when he hears the pet name and Alex has to stop himself from smiling knowingly.
He can have this. He can have Henry. And he is not fucking sorry about it.