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Phil Coulson has never been the type of person to sit on his ass, especially now that his ass is entirely metaphorical. Phil gives himself plans and missions and duties in the aquarium. Idle tentacles are the devil’s playground, and when you don’t have anything to do your mind starts wandering and you start thinking that maybe you only dreamed you were human, and that actually you have spent your whole life as an octopus and you’re going to die an octopus. So it makes PERFECT SENSE that, in addition to Phil Coulson: Aquatic Reconnaissance Agent, he also gave himself the title of Phil Coulson: Protector of Defenseless Aquarium Visitors.
Because think about this–this is an evil aquarium, run by evil people. But because no one except Phil knows how evil this aquarium is, parents keep bringing their toddlers and schools keep sending out field trips and it is PHIL’S JOB to be the lonely warrior, the last line of defense between happy children and the danger that lurks behind ‘employees only’ doors. (You’re being a little dramatic, says the voice in Phil’s head that sounds remarkably like Nick Fury. Shut up, says Phil, and I don’t have to listen to lessons in dramatics from a man who wears a floor-length leather coat.)
No one else knows this, of course. Life goes on, with aquarium patrons unaware that mobsters and mad scientists walk among them. Life goes on, in a more specific vein, to lead Lily Serrano’s afterschool program to the aquarium on a field trip. Lily is six years old and doesn’t have to hold an adult’s hand, unlike last year when she was five and a baby. Lily is here for one thing and one thing only: the seahorses.
Before they get to the seahorses, however, Lily’s group gets cruelly stalled. Tomas accidentally runs into Max, Max pushes Tomas, Tomas smacks Max on the head, and both children spontaneously erupt into tears. Miss Lizzie and Miss Diana react, dropping to their knees to sort out the situation, and Lily huffs. This is what happens when you’re five and you’re a baby — everything makes you cry. Tomas and Max keep blubbering about who started what, with Miss Lizzie and Miss Diana speaking over each other to try and sort it all out, and it’s taking forever. Lily has been wanting to see seahorses ever since she read a book about them all by herself, and at this rate she will never get to see them, not ever. Lily looks up at the wall in frustration. “St-sting, stingrays,” she reads. “Ot-ters. Seahorses!” There’s an arrow next to seahorses, telling her exactly where to go. She glances over at the group, who are all hovering over the crying kids. She takes another look at the sign, and decides for herself. She sets off, turning the corner.
This new room is small, and a quick check of the tanks show that there are no seahorses. She glances up at a sign, and sees the word seahorses next to another arrow. She follows that one into another room, then another, then another.
Lily walks into a huge, round room. There’s too many people to see the tanks clearly, so she elbows her way through and ducks under the safety rails to press her face against the glass. No seahorses, just big red octopuses. Lily turns around to leave again, but the crowd can’t let her see the signs on the wall. She doesn’t know how to get to the seahorses, and that’s when it hits her that she doesn’t know how to get back to Miss Lizzie and Miss Diana. She doesn’t remember what was in the tanks when Tomas and Max started crying. Were they near the orange fish? Or was it blue fish? What was the fancy names for them?
She looks around, but all she can see is knees. Her breath hitches and her eyes feel hot, but she doesn’t want to cry. Crying is for babies.
There’s a knock behind her, and she whips around. A big red and white octopus is staring at her, floating right at her eye level. It waves a tentacle at her. Lily waves back. The octopus touches its eye. Lily moves her hand to her own eye and is surprised to find it wet. “I’m not crying,” she says defiantly, “I just…I just can’t find my afterschool group. They were being dumb so I left them to find the seahorses and now I can’t get back.”
The octopus nods its head up and down. Lily smiles. “You’re a cool octopus,” she says. The octopus turns a deeper red for a second, then points a tentacle to the side. Lily looks over and sees an entryway to another room. “That way?” She says, wrinkling her nose. “You want me to go that way?”
The octopus nods its head again and swims in that direction. She follows it to the edge of the room, but he disappears behind the wall. Lily stops for a moment, suddenly afraid that she lost her octopus friend. You’re six, she tells herself firmly, you are not a baby. She marches into the next room, which is less crowded than Mr. Octopus’s room. She looks around her, not sure what to do next. Then, out of a corner of her eye, she sees a flash of yellow and red, and her octopus friend is back. “How’d you get there?” she says, rushing over. “This is a whole different room!”
The octopus swirls excitedly, and Lily laughs. He points a tentacle at another door. “That way?” Lily asks, pointing herself. The octopus nods and swims off. Lily chases it. She swings into another room and spots the octopus, swimming among a tank of blue fish. “Hi Mr. Octopus!” She waves at him. He waves back and points to another door. Lily rushes towards it and turns the corner, slamming into a body.
“Lily! Lily, oh god!” It’s Miss Diana, and she gets right down on her knees to look Lily in the eye. “Mami, you do not go anywhere by yourself, do you understand? You always stay with the group.”
She’s got a hand on Lily’s arm, and Lily tries to yank away. “Max and Tomas were crying and we weren’t moving and I wanted to see the seahorses.”
“I don’t care,” Miss Diana says, “There is no reason to walk away. I didn’t know where you were, Miss Lizzie didn’t know where you were. You always stay where we can see you, okay?”
“I was fine,” Lily argues. “Mr. Octopus Friend was watching out for me.”
Miss Diana blinks, then glares. “Is Mr. Octopus Friend an afterschool teacher? Did your mama give Mr. Octopus Friend permission to take you on a field trip? No. You stay with us, or you and I are going to go sit on the bus for the rest of the trip.”
“No!” Lily yells. “I haven’t seen the seahorses yet.”
“Do you agree not to run away again?”
“Yeah.” Lily nods her head up and down.
“Okay then. Then you stick by me and we’ll see the seahorses before we leave. Okay?”
“Okay.”
Miss Diana gives her a quick hug. “I was so worried about you, mami.” Miss Diana stands and takes Lily’s hand to walk back to the group. Lily follows by her side without pulling her hand away. It was a little scary not knowing how to get back. Maybe she’ll hold Miss Diana’s hand for the rest of the day, even though Lily’s not a baby.
Years later, Lily Serrano is filling out college applications to become a marine biologist when the Avengers save Manhattan from the Chitauri. To her, the two events are not related.