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“Why can’t I just go by myself?”
Bronya lets out a sigh, tucking a document under a pile of papers. She takes another one from beside her, empty of her insight and her signature and she begins reading through it. “Seele,” she looks up at Seele, “You know it’s dangerous to go on your own. You can’t just go there by yourself.”
Seele huffs, crossing her arms over her chest, “What? You think I can’t handle it or something?”The corner of Bronya’s lips quirk into a small smile.
To others, Seele’s attitude would come off as rude, brash even, but to Bronya she couldn’t help but find it endearing. A lot of the time, Seele acts the way she is only because she doesn’t want to burden others — she wants to take things on her own, shouldering problems and tasks by herself as to not let others do it.
Seele, despite herself, never liked putting more things on Bronya’s plate. She opted to tackle tasks by taking the route that required the least amount of attention and help from the Supreme Guardian.
While Bronya couldn’t stop the flutter in her chest when Seele insisted on doing things on her own, she also couldn’t just let her do that. Seele had promised to protect her but how can she if she were to get hurt? Just the thought of it… Bronya shakes her head.
“You know that’s not what I meant,” Bronya puts her pen down, glancing up at Seele with a soft look of her own, “But you’re going into an area not yet properly explored by the wildfire or the silvermane guards — it’s uncharted territory.”
Seele’s eyebrows curled, “So? It’s not like I’m not experienced in taking on unknown territory,” she grumbled.
“I know, and that’s what makes you so talented,” Bronya smiles and Seele flushes, ducking her head down slightly and averting her eyes, “But… It just puts me at ease, okay? Could you please bring at least one person, please ?”
Seele meets Bronya’s eyes and she grunts, her eye slightly twitching. A breath or two passes and Seele groans — a telltale sign Bronya had won — and she runs a hand through her raven locks.
“Ugh!” Seele scoffs, but in her eyes lies something soft and giving. Despite the faint scowl on her face, anyone who knew Seele well could see the slight gentleness that shone through that tough front of hers. “Fine, fine, if it puts you… at ease . But, I’m choosing who’s coming with me, alright?”
Bronya visibly brightens, her eyes sparkling with relief, but she tries her best to school it, “Of course,” she stands up from behind her desk and reaches forward, grabbing a hold of Seele’s hand — who flinches at the sudden touch, her neck flushing a faint red — “Thank you so much, Seele.”
Seele grunts, looking away with a sigh, but she lets Bronya hold her hand. Let her thumb rub against her own skin in light circles. “Whatever,” she glances at Bronya from the corner of her eye and mumbles, “As long as you’re happy.”
Perhaps Seele thinks she was quiet but Bronya heard it loud and clear. It’s safe to say that the supreme guardian got through her work a lot faster than usual.
—
It’s been three days since Seele had left, a wildfire comrade by her side, and in those three days Bronya had also gotten a lot busier. Well, at least, she should have.
But every passing minute felt like an excruciatingly long hour. The distance between every rising and setting sun felt like a century and it’s beginning to make Bronya incredibly sluggish. She tried to write through as many reports as she could, inspect as many issues as she could find, and speak with as many civilians as she possibly could but all of them felt… long .
When she would walk back home, the night sky blanketing Belobog and the street lamps the only thing present on the streets, her feet would just drag along the concrete. Her breaths left her lips slow and long, a sigh accompanying her every step.
This whole thing was beginning to get to her, interfering with her own work pace, and it was concerning. If anything, it was getting increasingly frustrating.
The one night Bronya decides to leave relatively early, she finds herself standing at the bottom of the stairs leading to the supreme guardian’s quarters. She greets the silvermane guards with a slightly strained smile and walks onwards, hoping to take a late stroll before calling it a day.
Just as she was about to turn the other way; however, she caught sight of Serval’s shop — the lights still on.
Bronya, for a moment, thinks it’s best to leave the woman alone but then again… It’s been a while since they caught up with each other. She figures she also needed a bit of social interaction with someone she was familiar with, someone she had been close to ever since she was a child.
And maybe, just maybe , talking to someone could resolve her slow issue.
—
When Bronya walks in, the bright lights almost blind her and it takes her a minute to adjust to it. She blinks, the corners of her eyes pricking with small tears.
“Supreme Guardian,” a familiar voice says — but it isn’t Serval’s?
Bronya looks up and sees Natasha standing in front of her, the older woman leaning against the front desk, her ever-gentle smile plastered across her surprisingly soft features. She looked at Bronya with this fond look, her eyes growing in concern when the young woman had yet to say a word.
Snapping out of her stupor, Bronya returns Natasha’s smile with one of her own, “Natasha.” She walks forward, stepping further into the shop, and she lets out a breath when the warmth embraces her, “Please, Bronya is just fine. You have done so much for me in the Underworld, we’re more than just acquaintances.”
Natasha chuckles softly, shaking her head, “While I don’t mind that, you shouldn’t forget how much you have helped the Underworld in recent days,” Natasha bows slightly forward, “A lot of people thank you for your help.”
Just as Bronya was about to protest, a new voice entered into the room. Familiar but loud, a complete contrast to Natasha’s gentle timbre, “Just accept it, kid,” Bronya turns to the right and sees Serval walking towards the front desk, a box of trinkets in her arms, “She might not look it but Natasha will make sure you accept the compliment, like it or not.”
Natasha raises an eyebrow at the rock star, turning to Serval, “That’s only because what I say is true,” she shakes her head, crossing her arms over her chest, a smile on her face, “Don’t paint me to be some villain of sorts.”
“I’m not!” Serval chuckles, “Just sayin’”
The two older women exchange a fond look, and a soft smile, and it… doesn’t surprise Bronya. It had taken a while for Serval to move on from her mother, to stop yearning for the what could have been’s , and to find peace in the bitter end of their relationship.
Cocolia might not have said it out loud but Bronya was well aware of the longing looks between her and Serval, she was acutely aware that the shared history between the two were more than best friends and while, yes , Bronya was supportive of Serval, and Cocolia, she couldn’t help but watch with relief to see Serval finding someone else.
Perhaps a part of her feels slightly guilty for feeling such a way, for watching the woman that her mother so deeply loved find a new light but Bronya was happy for Serval. If Serval’s smile as she listened to Natasha talk was anything to go by – Serval was happy too and, frankly, that was enough to quell Bronya’s sliver of guilt.
“Anyway,” Serval turned away from Natasha, “What brought you here, Bronya? Everything okay?” Her expression was always so patient when it came to Bronya, always gentle, like Cocolia.
Bronya parted her lips, instinctively going to say that she just happened to pass by, but she quickly closed it. She mulled over her recent problems, her issue with the day feeling a lot slower, her tasks feeling a lot more like a chore, and she wondered if telling Serval and Natasha would do her some good.
She didn’t want to bother them – Bronya was sure both women had enough on their plate – but… this issue was beginning to interfere with her daily tasks which very much included her responsibilities as a Supreme Guardian. The last thing she wanted was to make a mistake because of her own carelessness and stubborn nature (as Seele would say).
Taking a deep breath, Bronya looks at the two of them, “Actually,” she fidgeted slightly, tapping her finger against the side of her thigh, “I was hoping to get… your insight, both of you, on something. If that’s alright?”
Serval tilts her head slightly, “Sure, of course,” She walks around the front counter, now standing beside Natasha. She leans against the desk, her elbows laying flat on the surface, “What’s up?”
Bronya smiles at the both of them in thanks and clears her throat as if trying to phrase her words. She lets out a sigh and her lips purse into a faint frown, “I’ve been having problems recently,” she crosses her arms, “The past few days I felt so… sluggish, or– or just slow ? I– I honestly don’t understand what it is I’m feeling.”
Serval’s eyes express concern, and so does Natasha, but the latter quickly walks over to Bronya, a generous distance between the two, “Could you have been overworking yourself?” She asks, “Perhaps, you’re sick? I can prescribe you something to help if you need it?”
Bronya shakes her head, “Thank you Natasha but I don’t think so.” Serval and Natasha look at her, silently asking her to elaborate, “These past few days have felt so… long . Even doing simple tasks have felt so incredibly slow and even as I speak to people there’s this aching feeling in the back of my mind – I feel as though there’s no end to the work I do and while I am more than happy with my progress it doesn’t feel… satisfying.”
Serval blinks, “Maybe,” she shrugs, “You’re feeling burnt out?”
“I don’t think that’s the case either,” Bronya sighs, “I thought it was first but it’s not as if I’m dragging myself to the office. I enjoy being there, I enjoy the feeling of helping others now as much as I did before but something’s just different, like something is missing,” a look of exhaustion washes over Bronya’s expression.
“Hm,” Natasha crosses her arms over her chest, her eyebrows wrinkling in thought. A moment passes and she then asks, “When did this start?”
Bronya hums to herself before answering, “Three days ago,” she blinks up at the older woman.
Natasha nods, “Did you do something tiring three days ago?” And then as an afterthought, “Perhaps, do something out of your normal routine?”
Bronya shakes her head, “I don’t recall anything of that sort,” she sighs, “And even if I did, I sincerely doubt it would cause this .” She flails her hand slightly, gesturing to herself, in a way that most wouldn’t see the Supreme Guardian do.
With Bronya letting out a sigh, her eyes cast to one of the intricate mechanical designs on the wall, she misses the soft smile that dawns on Natasha’s face. The doctor turns her head to face Serval, who raises an eyebrow at her in confusion, and at it she giggles softly.
Natasha places her hand on Bronya’s shoulder gently, getting the younger woman’s attention. When Bronya looks up to meet ruby irises, Natasha smiles at her and says, “I think I may know what’s causing this,” At that, Bronya practically beams, opening her mouth as if to ask what it was, but Natasha speaks first, “But, since I’m not sure, do you mind waiting until tomorrow afternoon to let you know about it?”
The glint in Natasha’s polite eyes tells Bronya that she’s hiding something, that she’s certain of something despite her words, but the doctor has proven her trust more than enough times for Bronya but…
“You know as much as I do,” Serval quickly says, as if to dispel the thoughts that begin to cloud Bronya’s mind, “That Natasha wouldn’t do anything to harm you, right?” She smiles, easy-going and all the more reassuring.
“Right, right,” Bronya chuckles, albeit a little guilty for thinking of such things, “I–... I apologize for thinking otherwise. Yes, I don’t mind. Though…” She looks at Natasha, “Is it anything serious, do you think?”
The corner of Natasha’s lips tug up slightly, a giggle seemingly wanting to escape her lips, “I promise you,” she says, “It’s truly nothing to worry about.”
—
Natasha had messaged Bronya earlier that she should be arriving around the afternoon if everything goes well but it’s already hours past it and she still hasn’t arrived. While the doctor had already sent her a text excusing her unusual tardiness, Bronya couldn’t help but worry. Natasha wasn’t the type to be late, especially not this late.
Bronya had already asked Serval if Natasha was doing alright but she didn’t seem worried at all, if anything, she had this mysterious smile plastered across her face. She even patted Bronya’s back and shook her head with a fond chuckle which further confused Bronya even more.
But, if Serval isn’t worried then Natasha should be fine. Right?
“Lady Bronya?” Bronya tore her eyes away from the papers on her desk – not that she was reading them anyway – and hummed at the young woman standing in front of her. She was a new hire, a young lass who only just recently started working so close to the Supreme guardian, and she spoke with a slight tremble in her voice, “Someone named Natasha is waiting outside your office, should I let her in?”
“Ah yes, yes,” Bronya tucked away her documents on the pile sitting to her right and smiled, “Please do let her in! And you’re free to leave earlier today.”
The young woman beamed at that and nodded, her youthful face brightening with excitement to leave work early. She practically sped walk out the door after letting Natasha in, bidding both the doctor and Bronya a happy farewell.
“I hope I’m not disrupting you,” Natasha takes gentle steps towards Bronya’s desk, a smile on her face, “I wouldn’t want to get in the way of your work.”
Bronya shakes her head, gesturing at the seat in front of her desk for Natasha to sit in, “No, no, you’re not and besides,” She sighs, “I couldn’t quite focus so… you aren’t really disrupting me at all.” Bronya lets out a tired laugh as if showing her growing frustration. “Anyway, was your trip here alright?”
Natasha nods, “It was more than,” She sighs, “Serval told me you were worried and I’m sorry for being so late– there were some… bumps along the way.”
“No, please, it’s not your fault. And I’m glad you made it here safe regardless.”
Natasha flashes Bronya a grateful smile before rummaging through her pockets, “As I said, I promised to give you something regarding your issue,” Bronya listens carefully, expecting, and Natasha then pulls out a neatly folded paper. “Before I do, why don’t you give this a read?”
Bronya blinks at Natasha before picking up the folded paper, she inspects it first, looking for a name but doesn’t find any, so she opens it. When she does, with a quick scan of the letter, a small gasp leaves her lips to see the familiar handwriting.
Bronya,
Natasha asked me to write this all of a sudden so yeah. I don’t know what to write or what she wants me to put exactly but I’m doing fine and everything’s going fine. Not a lot of fragmentum so don’t worry about me or my partner. We should be back in two days but I’ll write again if not. I miss That’s it.
Seele
The straightforwardness of it all, the awkwardness that Bronya could practically feel from the letter – no doubt, it was Seele who had written this letter. Before she could even stop herself, a faint smile grows on Bronya’s face as she reads over it again and again, imagining Seele writing it with a huff and an adorable faint flush on her cheeks.
But aside from it, it’s as if a heavy weight had been lifted off of her shoulders, her lungs suddenly feeling free of this pressure she wasn’t aware was there. Bronya let out a breath, one out of relief it seems, knowing Seele was safe and sound.
She acutely remembers that she wasn’t alone in her office and shakes her head, looking up to see Natasha smiling at her. Bronya lets out a shy chuckle, “I– I’m sorry, I was…” She clears her throat, “I’m glad Seele is alright. Is this why you were late?”
“Yes, actually,” Natasha chuckled into her fist, “I had immediately sent a letter to Seele asking her to write one for you last night and she only got it this morning. Luckily, her letter still came today.”
Bronya hummed, the smile on her face never leaving. “I’m… thankful that you had Seele write this. It…” She glances at the letter again, her heart fluttering at the words, “I feel like it lifted a weight off my shoulders.”
Natasha brightens slightly at that, “About that,” Bronya tilts her head at her, and Natasha continues, “I think that’s what’s causing your issue, Bronya.”
“...Pardon?”
“Seele had departed three days ago, yes? I think that’s why you felt sluggish these past few days,” Natasha smiles gently, “You must’ve been worried about her without you realizing it and… you must have missed her. Like you said, you felt as if something was missing, right?”
“I…”
Natasha giggles softly at the faint red that dusts Bronya’s cheeks, the young Supreme Guardian who was usually so stern and confident now turning sheepish and shy. “I understand you,” She smiles softly, hoping to quell the growing embarrassment in the young woman, “Seele has become a constant in your life, you always saw each other every day and because of her absence, your days felt… different.”
Bronya ducked her head down, her eyes wide slightly and her lips pursed into a thin line. She lets out a trembling breath, as if trying to inhale and exhale. Well, she thinks, it’s not like Natasha’s… wrong. She dips her face into her palms, But to have it affect me this much? I…
“And, while it may not completely resolve the issue,” Natasha’s feather-like voice snaps Bronya out of her rumbling thoughts. The supreme guardian looks up, meeting Natasha’s eyes, “I think this may at least help you.”
Natasha gets something from behind her and then places it on Bronya’s large, wooden desk. It’s small, probably a little bigger than the palm of Natasha’s hand but too big – it’s… a stuffed toy. A plushie.
That looked awfully a lot like Seele.
It had button eyes, an ocean blue bundle of fabric that took on the shape of Seele’s familiar long hair, a simplified version of her intricate attire, and the familiar red ribbon on the adorable plush bicep. For the mouth, it was a cute black line pulled into a subtle scowl.
Bronya blinked at it, her lips slightly parted in confusion and she was utterly speechless. She slowly glanced up at Natasha, asking a silent question.
Natasha giggles, “It’s not much and perhaps it looks nothing like Seele,” She pushes the plushie towards Bronya, “But I figure this could help while Seele’s still gone, it’s not a replacement but… It’s something right?”
Being a supreme guardian, Bronya was taught to be stern, to walk confident with authority, to keep her chin high and to speak with purpose, and to never falter but right now – she was certain that her cheeks were a hot red, her neck hot with embarrassment, and her eyes tinged with a dark flush.
“I– I–” Bronya takes the plushie into her hands, looking at it, and as humiliating as it was, she couldn’t help but find it incredibly adorable. It was too cute, too small, too… Seele. And it’s a lot more embarrassing that she wants to hold it close to her heart, to let it fill the void while Seele was still away. She puts her forehead against the chest of the plushie, eyes closed and face hidden from Natasha.
“Th– Thank you…” She mumbles, a muffled sigh leaving her lips. While Natasha didn’t make fun of her, Bronya couldn’t find it in her to look into those gentle ruby eyes.
A giggle leaves Natasha and Bronya feels a comfortable pat on her shoulders, “It’s not a problem,” she then chuckles, “Please take care of her.” While Natasha may refer to the doll, Bronya knows what she really means.
Of course, I will, Bronya thinks, I’ll take care of Seele. Always.
—
It worked. Surprisingly, or… unsurprisingly? Bronya would keep the doll tucked either under the desk on a small stool or beside her as she worked. Safe to say that the temporary solution worked like a charm — Bronya was back, somewhat, to her usual speed, and while the days still felt long it didn’t feel like a chore to get through.
However, there were more than enough times when one or two of Bronya’s colleagues would spot the small top of the plushie poking from under the desk and while they didn’t ask, Bronya didn’t mistake the amused smile or the curious looks. During those moments, Bronya wanted nothing more than to cover herself in heaps of her reports.
The two days ended up going by relatively quickly but on the second day, the day that Seele said she would arrive, Bronya was almost giddy. Her heart thumped a little roughly against her chest, her eyes looking up at the clock every few hours — it was unbecoming of the usually focused Supreme Guardian but Bronya couldn’t help herself.
When the clock struck evening, and Seele had yet to arrive, Bronya found herself sighing in her seat. Her hand cramped slightly and so she put it down, leaning against the head of her chair. The creak of her movement echoed in an empty office and all she could hear was the faint echo of Belobog, the whistle of the wind, and even the beat of her own heart.
She cast her eyes to the large windows behind her, watching the faint flurries of the snowfall. Bronya hummed before grabbing the small plush toy, holding it safe and secure in the palm of her hands. She chuckled at the scowl on Seele’s face, tracing her thumb across it.
Seele was a surprise. An encounter Bronya never thought possible. As a child, she was surrounded by stern people, she was surrounded by an audience that looked at her with high expectations — even her own mother. Their eyes were like a hawk watching her every move, awaiting her achievements and her decisions like she was some experiment of sorts.
Even her own mother, while loving, was strict and held Bronya to a high degree. Every day she was surrounded by students who were intelligent yet terribly judgemental. They often saw Bronya as a… tool. A tool for their success, for everlasting power — getting close to Bronya meant guaranteeing your future for who wouldn’t want the Supreme guardian’s successor?
But Seele… She didn’t care about that. While many would be careful around Bronya — often putting up a facade — Seele would be straightforward. She would question her if she wanted to, voice her opinions even if it meant going against Bronya’s, and even scoff at Bronya if need be.
And Bronya, she loved that about Seele. Seele didn’t treat her like some higher figure — Seele treated her as an equal, a normal human being, a friend. And Bronya’s heart flutters when she wishes to be more.
Seele was special. Seele was the meteor that struck Bronya’s life, the color that painted her white walls, the dragon that charmed the princess, and the thief that stole her golden heart.
And Bronya wishes to be by her side for as long as she’s alive. For eternity if poss—
“What is that ?”
Bronya practically jumps, her fingers jerking at the sudden voice, which causes her to drop the small Seele plush toy. She yelps, snapping her eyes up at whoever had spoken and was pleased — or rather horrified, honestly — to see the source of all her thoughts. The source of her troubles yet simultaneously the source of her solutions.
A pair of ocean blue eyes meet dark gray. “See— Seele?”
Seele barks out a laugh, an amused smile on her face, “Who would’ve thought the Supreme Guardian gets scared so easily,” she puts her hands on her hips, “You learn something new every day.”
“Yes, well, you snuck up on me!” Bronya sighs, “Please knock next time,” she mumbles, flushing a faint red.
“I did — you didn’t hear me so I just let myself in.” Seele shrugged. She then hums, stepping to the side of Bronya’s desk and eyeing the object on the floor — The plushie! “Anyway, what’s thi—“
“It’s nothing!” Bronya was quick to snatch the stuffed toy from the ground, swiftly tucking it behind her back, “It’s just— It’s nothing.”
Seele raises an eyebrow, “Bron,” the nickname rolls off her tongue seamlessly, and gosh does Bronya revel in it, “I don’t care if you have a stuffed teddy bear or something. It just looked… Well, it looked different. Like… it looked like me… ?”
Of course, she saw it already, Bronya internally sighed to herself. Seele was always fast and her eyes were no exception. While it was impressive, Bronya sincerely hoped it wasn’t the case in this situation.
How does she even explain this? She has a stuffed toy of Seele, what is she supposed to say?
“I—…” Bronya finds herself suddenly feeling hot, her cheeks no doubt colored a deep shade of red. She usually doesn’t fluster, or blush but then again — Seele has made her feel things she isn’t used to.
“Yes,” Bronya decides it’s best to be honest. If Seele makes fun of her, so what, it’s all in good fun. She brings the small plushie outward, no longer hiding it behind her back, and shows it to the curious woman, “It’s… It’s you. I got it from Natasha.”
“Woah,” Seele blinks, her eyes shining with amazement, surprisingly. “Damn, I knew Natasha was good at sewing but I didn't think she was this good. But why do you have one? Is this like— some kinda business? Custom toys kind of thing? A prototype?”
“…No.”
Seele’s eyebrows wrinkle, “Huh? Then why…?”
“I…” Bronya huffed to herself. Seele was going to make fun of her. She was sure of it. Perhaps not but who wouldn’t make fun of her? Bronya was given a Seele plushie by Natasha because she— “I missed you.”
Bronya’s eyes are directed elsewhere and she’s staring so hard at the shelf of books that she doesn’t see the way Seele suddenly stiffens.
“I—…” Bronya clears her throat, gathering herself as best she can so she doesn’t embarrass herself any further. Come on, let her at least have some of her dignity left. “I was worried and… I was having trouble focusing because I had missed your presence. So, Natasha gave me this as some temporary remedy.”
Bronya thanks her years of training in becoming a Supreme Guardian for her surprisingly steady voice. However, her moment of pride quickly dissipated when she was met with a long silence.
Confused, she looked up to gauge Seele’s reaction (despite not wanting to) and was pleasantly surprised to see the other woman’s arms crossed over her chest, her eyebrows creased, her nose wrinkled and her cheeks dusted in a very red color.
Seele’s eyes are cast to the side and her lips move, clearly mumbling something under her breath.
Bronya slowly puts her hands down to her sides, the plushie loosely gripped in her palm. “Seele? I couldn’t quite hear what you said—“
“I said,” Seele snapped her eyes to Bronya, her whole face red, “You don’t need that, okay?” She huffs.
“But—“
“You don’t need it!” Seele quickly interrupted, fists clenched. She narrowed her eyes at the plushie before looking up at Bronya, her expression softening a tad bit, “I— Don’t replace me with that— Just— Why didn’t you just send me a letter or something?!”
“I—“ Well, Bronya could have done that, but perhaps she was far too muddled that she didn’t think of that at first. She then blinks, “Perhaps I should have…”
“You—!” Seele snatches the plushie in Bronya’s hand again and she groans before snatching it from her, much to the supreme guardian’s surprise.
“Seele wai— Seele!” Bronya gasped when Seele practically threw the plushie across the room, far from Bronya, and landed somewhere in the depths of piled documents and archives. “Tha—“
“You have the real thing, right here!” Seele grunted, pointing to herself with frustration. Bronya blinks at her in surprise, so Seele continues with a groan and a red face, “I’m right here … so you don’t need that, okay?” She trails off rather sheepishly, her eyes averted and downcast, clearly trying to avoid looking at Bronya.
To Seele’s chagrin, Bronya lets a giggle slip through her lips. The young underworlder snaps her eyes up and huffs, “Why are you–”
“ Thank you, Seele,” Bronya smiles at her, it’s so soft that it takes Seele by surprise. Bronya walks around her desk and stands in front of Seele, at a distance so close, and she tilts her head lightly, placing her palm on Seele’s warm cheek. “And you’re right.”
Seele eyelids flutter, her breaths trembling – she’s flushed, her face painted in an adorable red tint, the complete contrast to her usually tough facade. “A– About what?”
Bronya gently wraps her arms around Seele’s waist, placing her chin on her shoulder. “Why bother with a doll when I have you here, with me, by my side.”