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Stefan knocked twice on Colin’s apartment door. It had been almost a year since he’d last seen Colin, falling to his death in the dead of night, the flash of bright colours reflecting off his blood. It had been slightly less then that since he’d last seen Kitty…
The door opened to reveal a short woman with magenta hair. She had dark wings of eyeliner that reached her hairline, a bright streak of blusher on each cheek and orange lipstick. Despite her changed appearance, Stefan still recognised her as Kitty.
“You’re…” she trailed off. “Stefan,” he finished for her. “We’ve met before.”
“I know,” she said, her tone harsh. Clearly she had built some resentment against him since their last encounter.
Stefan shuffled a foot awkwardly, looking anywhere but into her eyes. “I wanted to talk to you,” he started, slowly. “About Colin.”
Suddenly, Kitty grabbed his arm and dragged him forcefully through the door. Stefan gasped audibly, stumbling as he was hauled into the apartment.
“Do you know where he is? If you know something, you have to tell me.”
Stefan hurriedly tried to pull his arm away, but her grip was deadly tight. She felt him struggling and held tighter, her long, pointed nails digging into his skin.
“I don’t know where he is!” Stefan rushed out. Kitty’s grip immediately slackened and Stefan stepped away, meaning to leave the apartment but instead realising that his back had met the closed door. He was trapped.
Kitty no longer looked angry, just disappointed. “If you don’t know anything, then what are you doing here?” She asked, as if Stefan was wasting her time.
“I do know something,” he corrected her. “Just not where Colin is.”
“You should have started with that,” she snapped, again taking Stefan’s arm in her vice-like grip and yanking him through yet another doorway.
This time, it was into the living room. Stefan could almost see the ghost of Colin, sat in his chair with a rolled-up cigarette placed loosely between his lips. Just like he had been that night.
Kitty flung Stefan onto the sofa, then stood menacingly in front of him, legs apart and arms crossed. “Talk,” she ordered.
He stared up at her dumbly before he realised that he had to do as he was told. “I…Um…Last time I saw you-“
“Last time you saw me, you told me I had watched my own boyfriend die. I think that’s something I would remember.”
Stefan’s cheeks went hot with shame. He had known Kitty wouldn’t believe him but he just had to know.
“He’s dead,” Stefan said bluntly. “I know what I saw, and I don’t know if we were really there, or it was some sort of vision but I definitely know what happened.”
Kitty let out a long sigh, and sank down beside Stefan. All anger was gone and she just looked defeated. Stefan felt pity for her, but didn’t know if consoling her was the right thing to do.
“Surely, if he was dead, I would know. Surely, I would have felt something.” Stefan shrugged in reply, but Kitty didn’t see, as she now had her head in her hands.
“Not necessarily,” Stefan countered. “When my mum died, I didn’t know until I saw it on the news. And when my dad died-“
“You’re an orphan?” Kitty interrupted. Stefan blinked slowly as he took in her words. “I’ve never thought of it that way,” he realised. Kitty’s eyes went wide with sadness. Stefan didn’t like it, it felt too condensing.
“You know, Colin spoke about you a lot,” Kitty remarked. It took Stefan by surprise. He had thought that his and Colin’s encounters were almost entirely one-sided. That’s how they had felt, at least, until the drugs had kicked in.
“He thinks you’re this genius. I don’t know, I haven’t played any of your games,” she continued. “Says that you’re gonna change gaming.”
“That was all him,” Stefan confessed. “He was incredible. A visionary.” Kitty listened intently, watching Stefan with an expression that he couldn’t make out.
“God, I can’t believe you’re talking about him like that.” She ran her hands through her hair, frustratedly. Stefan started. Had he done something wrong?
“Like that?” He asked, and Kitty replied, “like he’s gone.” Stefan felt his heart ache. He wanted to do something to show her that he cared, put his arm around her, take her hand…
He settled for placing his hand next to hers on the sofa. She looked down, waiting for him to make his next move. But he never did. Eventually, she looked up and her face held no emotion.
“I feel like you know something,” she stated. “If you do, please tell me. I need him, Stefan. It’s been so hard without Colin, it’s been so hard.”
To Stefan’s horror, a tear fell down Kitty’s cheek. She quickly moved to wipe it away, but Stefan had definitely noticed.
“Kitty, I know you don’t want to believe me. But I need you to, because I’m telling the truth.”
Kitty ignored him. “Last time I saw, you told me that you hadn’t been taking your pills.”
“That’s right,” Stefan confirmed, still reeling from the change in conversation. “Are you taking them now?”
Stefan said nothing, and, after a while, Kitty nodding, seeming to have her answer. “Then this is just crazy talk,” she said, to herself rather than Stefan. “This is just you being crazy because you haven’t taken your pills again and-“
“I haven’t taken my pills since then,” Stefan said. “This isn’t me having some sort of episode, this is me trying to make things right.”
“How is this making anything right?” Kitty demanded, jumping up from her seat. Stefan tensed, unsure what she would do next. “How would I feel better thinking that I watched him die and did nothing to stop it?”
Stefan flinched as her voice grew increasingly louder. “You saw his body. You didn’t see him die.”
“And that’s alright is it?” She asked, angrily. Stefan shook his head. “I want you to know the truth,” he pleaded. She began yelling again, pointing an accusing finger at him. “The truth is that your crazy and-“
There was a sudden wailing echoing through the apartment that made Kitty swear under her breath. “Look what you’ve done,” she said, exasperatedly.
She walked into another room, leaving Stefan sat there, awkwardly. She came back a few seconds later, a crying baby in her arms.
Stefan felt his stomach drop to the floor, he had never thought about Pearl, being raised without her father. A father she would never know.
“She’s like this a lot,” Kitty said, over the baby’s tears. “Ever since Colin left, it’s like she’s tried to make it harder on me.”
Ever since Colin left . The words floated through Stefan’s brain. “He didn’t leave you,” he said, in what he hoped was a reassuring voice. “You were his family.”
She scoffed. “You know, what you’re saying might not be the worst alternative. I’d rather know that he loved me than think he didn’t even care enough to say goodbye.”
Stefan looked down at the ground, glumly. He wished he could have given Kitty some good news. That Colin was coming home to her, and she wouldn’t have to raise Pearl alone. He couldn’t do that, but he could give her the next best thing.
“I’d like to help,” he said, even to his own surprise. Sure, he’d been thinking it, but that’s not how he had expected it to come out.
“With?” Kitty asked, eyebrow arched. “Pearl. I’d like to help you.” She scoffed, bouncing Pearl lightly in her arms. “I don’t need your help. I’ve been doing this for two years, alone for almost one. I can handle her.”
“But you shouldn’t have to,” Stefan protested. “You must need a break, even for a few hours every once in a while. I can take care of her then.”
This time, Kitty had no retort. Instead, she seemed to be carefully considering his words. “I’ll let you know,” she said finally, and Stefan smiled in relief.
It was almost a month before she called him. Stefan had almost given up hope that she ever would. But one day, the phone started ringing and he decided to answer it, just in case.
He had been avoiding the phone whenever it rang, as it was usually Dr. Haynes. He still saw her, now and again, but his sessions were becoming few and far between.
“Stefan, this is Kitty,” she said immediately, barely giving him the time to place the phone to his ear. “Hi, Kitty. I’m glad to hear from you.”
“I’m seeing an old friend tonight. I need you to take Pearl.” Stefan smiled, despite knowing Kitty couldn’t see him. “Should I come over?”
“Probably. All of her things are here.”
“I’ll be there in ten minutes,” he promised her, hanging up the phone and immediately leaving for the bus stop.
When he made it to the apartment, Kitty sat him down on the sofa. “Have you ever held a baby before?” She asked. Stefan shrugged. “I don’t know. Probably?”
“Probably?” She echoed, looking uneasy. “If I have, I would have been on my meds,” Stefan confessed. “They made me sort of…dissociate.”
“Right…” Kitty trailed off. She still seemed hesitant, but seemed to make a decision when she lifted Pearl in her arms. “Hold her against your chest, like this,” she instructed. “By the bottom and the head.”
Stefan nodded quickly, reaching out his arms in preparation.
Kitty placed the baby gingerly into his arms and Stefan’s hands came to rest in place, firmly but gently.
“Is this good?” He asked, quietly, giving Pearl an experimental bounce. Kitty nodded, watching with her head tipped. “‘You have any siblings?” She asked. Stefan shook his head lightly, doing his best not to move whilst Pearl was in his arms. “No. It was just me, my mum and dad.”
Hesitantly, Kitty reached out a hand. At first, Stefan thought she was going to touch Pearl, but instead she laid her hand on his. “You probably don’t want to hear this,” she began. “But I am sorry about your parents.”
Stefan looked into her eyes. There was genuine sadness there. “My mum died when I was five,” he explained, “and me and my dad didn’t get on. So it’s not the worst situation to be in.”
“But it’s shit,” Kitty countered, causing Stefan to laugh in surprise. Pearl stirred against him, and he ran his hand over her soft head to soothe her. “Are you supposed to swear in front of babies?”
Kitty laughed too. “Not really. But you want to.” Stefan smiled down at Pearl.
He couldn’t imagine ever getting angry at her: she was so peaceful. But then he remembered what she had been like last time he had been at the flat.
“What time do you want me to put her to bed?”
“After tea. I’ve left her some food in the fridge so you don’t need to worry about making any. ‘You any good at cooking?”
“I can cook,” Stefan said, which made Kitty smile. “Order yourself something. I’ve left your money on the side, so that should cover it.”
Stefan looked up so quickly he felt his head spin. “What?” Kitty looked taken aback. “Your money…for looking after Pearl.”
Stefan shook his head rapidly, no longer concerned about disturbing Pearl. “I don’t want money.”
“Stefan, you’re basically babysitting,” Kitty protested. “Because I want to help you.”
Kitty sighed and stood up, checking the time on a nearby clock. “I have to go. But you’d better take that money.” Kitty left without another word, letting the front door slam as she left. Pearl let out a long wail and Stefan began to bounce her again, whispering gently in her ear.
She calmed down eventually, and once she did, she became easy to look after. She ate her food wilfully and when she slept, it was deep. All it had taken was for Stefan to sing one song to her before she dozed off.
It was by Joy Division, one of the bands that Colin had recommended him when they first met. It made him wonder if Colin had ever sang to her and that made him wonder how Colin’s voice sounded when he sang.
Whilst moving around the apartment, Stefan tried to be as quiet as he could, but even when the door opened to allow Kitty back in, Pearl stayed asleep.
When she arrived, Kitty walked straight past Stefan and into her bedroom, to Pearl’s cot. Pearl lay sound asleep, her only movements the rise and fall of her chest.
Stefan followed after Kitty. “How has she been?” She whispered, looking down at Pearl with a serene smile. Stefan joined her side, also looking down at the sleeping baby. “Amazing. She’s been asleep for most of the night.”
“That’s rare,” Kitty remarked. “She must know to be nice to you.” Stefan’s smile grew. “Hopefully. Maybe that means she likes me.”
“She does,” Kitty replied, matter-of-factly. “Otherwise I never would have left you with her.”
“Left me with her ? I thought I was getting paid to babysit.”
Kitty laughed lightly laying her hand next to Stefan’s on the cot rail, their skin just brushing. “I think you needed someone tonight just as much as she did. I don’t want to sound rude but…you don’t have many friends, do you?”
Stefan shook his head. “I’ve never really had friends. The only person I ever would have considered a friend was…” Stefan trailed off before he could finish, so Kitty did it for him, “Colin.”
Stefan nodded quickly, eager to have the conversation over with. So when Kitty opened her mouth to speak again, he beat her to it. “I should go,” he rushed out. “It’s getting late.”
Kitty looked crestfallen but eventually nodded. “Sure,” she replied. “I’ll see you out.”
Over the next few weeks, Stefan’s visits to the apartment became more frequent. It seemed that Kitty made any excuse for him to come over, even something as small as half an hour when she needed to go to the shops.
About two months since his first visit, Kitty had called Stefan over, saying she was going out with friends again and needed him to take care of Pearl.
He turned up at the apartment, letting himself in with a key that Kitty had given him. She had kept Colin’s for herself and given her old one to him. “Kitty?” He asked aloud, walking through the front room and into the living room.
“In here!” She called from the bedroom. “Just getting ready.” Stefan passed through the doorway to her bedroom. She was sat at a cluttered vanity, applying a long streak of green eyeshadow to her face. Her hair was now lilac and cropped close to her ears.
“I like your hair,” Stefan said and she met his eyes in the mirror, smiling. “Thanks. I needed a change.”
“I don’t know when the last time I got my hair done was,” Stefan admitted, running his hand through his long curls. Kitty turned to him, pausing. “Come here,” she said, shuffling over on her small stool.
Stefan sat hesitantly, it was wide, like a piano stool, but still small enough that he was pressed against Kitty. She grabbed his chin between firm fingers and turned his head to face her.
“You should let me do your makeup,” she said. Stefan felt his eyes widen. “I-I don’t-“
“Come on, Stefan! You would look great. You’ll love it.” Stefan stammered, unable to land on something to say. He had never worn makeup before, and all he could think about was what his dad would say if he knew. But Peter was dead, and all Stefan wanted was to make sure Kitty was happy.
“Okay,” he decided, finally. “Maybe a little.”
Kitty clapped and immediately got to work, dipping her brush into some bright blue eyeshadow.
She stroked it delicately next to Stefan’s eyes, which fluttered closed as she drew closer. “I would bring you with me tonight,” she stated, tightening her grip on Stefan’s jaw. “But I do actually need someone to take care of Pearl.”
Stefan giggled lightly. “I’m happy to be useful. Besides, I like Pearl.” His eyes flew open and he saw that Kitty was smiling brightly. “She likes you,” and then she added, “so do I.”
Stefan felt his cheeks grow hot, and, in his reflection, they turned a dusty pink. “I like you too. You’re sort of my only friend, so you’re basically also my best friend.” Kitty clutched her hand to her chest, dusting blue eyeshadow over her shirt. “And I’m honoured to be your best friend.”
She applied a few more strokes of eyeshadow to Stefan’s face, then sat back with an accomplished look on her face.
“There. Now you’re all ready to sit in the house looking after my baby.” Stefan nodded with a smile. “Great. ‘You want me to make her something?”
“She’s eaten. Just make sure you do, and that she gets some sleep.”
Stefan smiled, shyly. Kitty had caught on to the fact that he never ate after his first few visits. She’d also caught on to the fact that he didn’t take the money she left him. Sometimes, she would force it into his bag or pockets, but only when she came back drunk and lost all sense of personal boundaries.
“Of course. I’ll see you later.” Stefan stood and reached out a hand to help up Kitty. She took it. Her nails weren’t long anymore, they were still painted black but were short, and looked bitten, as if she had been worrying at them.
Stefan looked down at her, concerned, tightening his grip on her hand. “Kitty, is everything okay?” He asked. She looked up, with furrowed eyebrows. “Why wouldn’t it be?” Stefan lifted their hands to her eye-level. “Your nails.”
Kitty’s face grew anxious as she tried to pull her hand away, but Stefan kept a firm grip. “Kitty, if something’s happened, I can help you.”
“No. You can’t, Stefan,” she protested. “That’s the problem.” Stefan felt shame boiling up inside him. All he wanted was to help Kitty. Everyday, he blamed himself for what happened and all that Kitty lost. The least he could do was to help her when she needed it, and she couldn’t even give him that.
“Please, Kitty,” Stefan begged. “I want to help you.” She sighed, dragging their hands down so they kept the distance between her and Stefan. “That’s it Stefan. You’re too kind, and you’re too sweet, and it’s making it so hard.”
Stefan was confused. “Making what so hard?” Kitty looked up at him, exasperatedly. “Come on, Stefan. Don’t make me say it.”
“Say-“ Stefan was cut off as Kitty finally pulled her hand away from his. He reached to grab it again but instead grabbed her waist, as she had moved closer, placed both hands on either side of his face, and kissed him.
Stefan stumbled back in shock but Kitty helped him regain his balance, her lips never leaving his. He placed his other hand on her back, feeling her muscles move beneath his hand as her hands moved from his face to his shoulders.
It was then that she pulled him away from her. Kitty’s eyes were wide, as if she was also shocked by what she had done. “I’m going to be late,” she said, suddenly. Stefan didn’t even hear her until he heard the front door close behind her, and him and Pearl were left alone in the apartment. His mind was still fuzzy from the kiss, the curve of Kitty’s hips and the softness of her lips coming back to him.
He sat down on the bed, looking at his reflection. His cheeks were turning red, his lips were dark and his eyeshadow was smudged down to his cheekbone. But he didn’t wipe it off, instead picking up Pearl and taking her with him to the living room.
He remembered Kitty telling him to eat, but he didn’t feel like eating. His stomach was whirling and his head was spinning and he was afraid if he stood up, he would go dizzy. So he turned on the telly, and slowly fell asleep with Pearl in his arms.
All of a sudden, Stefan was woken by the sound of the door opening. A pit of dread suddenly built in his stomach. Kitty was home, and that meant facing her. He had no idea what she was going to do. Would she want more than just that kiss? Would she regret it and want to stay friends? Would she hate him so much for it that she would never want to see him again?
Stefan could take anything but the latter. He liked the kiss, and he liked Kitty, and he liked the idea of being with her, living with her, becoming a parent to Pearl. But whatever Kitty wanted, that’s what he would do.
He held Pearl against his chest, slowly turning to meet Kitty’s eyes. And then he gasped. Because it wasn’t Kitty stood at the door. It was Colin.
He looked just like he had the last time Stefan saw him: his hair blonde and cropped, his glasses shining gold, his blazer decorated with pins, and dried blood gathered in his hair and down the side of his face. Colin’s eyes widened behind his glasses. “Stefan?” He asked.
“Colin?” Stefan replied, incredulously. He couldn’t tell if Colin was real. He seemed to glow in the light flooding from the hallway into the flat. He seemed tall and imposing, like he was larger than life.
“Wait there,” Stefan told him, rushing into the bedroom and carefully placing Pearl in her cot. He sped back and Colin was still stood in the doorway. Stefan stopped just short of him.
“Are you not going to come in?” He asked. Colin did, shutting the door behind him. “Nice makeup,” he stated. Stefan stammered, having forgotten about the makeup entirely, “w-what are you doing here? Where have you been? Do you know how long you’ve been gone for?”
“400 days,” Colin replied. That gave Stefan pause, but finally, he mumbled, “I didn’t mean literally.” Colin carried on regardless, “I’ve been gone for exactly 400 days, I don’t remember where I’ve been, and to answer your last question, this is my flat. So I should really be asking you what you’re doing here?”
Stefan looked down in shame, refusing to meet Colin’s eye. Of course. This was Colin’s flat, not Stefan’s. It was Colin’s and Kitty’s. The realisation hit him along with another question, did this mean that Kitty wouldn’t need him anymore?
“I’m looking after Pearl,” Stefan explained, quietly. “Kitty’s out.”
“You’ve seen Kitty?” Colin asked, surprised. “I’ve been seeing her for the past two months,” Stefan corrected. When Colin cocked an eyebrow, Stefan choked out, “not like that ! I just meant, I’ve been helping her with Pearl.”
Colin nodded. “That’s good of you. It would have been a lot for her to take on by herself.”
“It was,” Stefan said, curtly, because maybe Kitty had been right. If Colin wasn’t dead, that meant he had left her. Without even saying goodbye. “You still haven’t explained why you left.”
“I didn’t leave,” Colin snapped, suddenly defensive. “I died. You saw it happen.”
“I thought I saw it happen,” Stefan agreed. “But you aren’t dead, and that means you fucked off somewhere for over a year without telling anybody !”
Colin looked shocked, and Stefan felt it too. He hadn’t wanted to speak to Colin that way, but it had just come out. Because he cared about Kitty more than anything and despite what might have actually happened, Colin had hurt her.
“Stefan, I promise you, that’s not what happened. I died, and I don’t know if I’ve been anywhere since then because all I remember is waking up this morning.”
Stefan felt hot tears building behind his eyes. He didn’t even know why he was crying, it was all just too much. Colin clearly hadn’t died, despite what he said, which meant that Stefan was crazy, he might lose Kitty and Pearl forever and then, he would have no one.
“Do you know when Kitty will be back?” Colin asked. The tears pushed harder against Stefan’s eyes. “No. But we should get you cleaned up before she does.”
Colin reached his hand up to his head and winced. Stefan felt his mouth fall open in shock. “It still hurts?” Colin nodded, regretfully.
“Then we’ll have to do something to treat it. I’m sure Kitty will have…” Stefan failed to come up with anything, “something.”
Colin grinned. “I know where all the first-aid is. This is my house.”
Stefan felt his heart sink again. Of course. “Take me to it then,” he said and Colin did, leading him into the bathroom.
They sat together on the edge of the bath, the first-aid kit balanced on the sink next to them. Stefan wet a towel and began to clean the blood from Colin’s face. They both knew that Colin could have done it himself, but, for some reason, Stefan wanted to and, for some reason, Colin let him do it.
“Pearl’s been crawling,” Stefan said, breaking the silence that had settled between them. Colin smiled sadly. “I was hoping I hadn’t missed too much. She’s not said her first word yet, has she?”
“Not yet,” Stefan reassured him. “But she’s trying. She’s very noisy.” Colin laughed lightly. There was red-stained water dripping down his cheek. Stefan wiped it off with his thumb.
“I remember that much,” he said. There was despair in everything he did, in his smile, behind his eyes. Stefan didn’t know how to make it go away, but he figured talking about Pearl was making it worse.
“We’ve missed you at Tuckersoft,” he said, changing the subject. Colin clearly noticed, but went along with it anyway.
“Well, Mr Thakur has missed the money.” Colin smirked. “Bet you he’ll be happy to see me then,” he said. Stefan knew his surprise was evident on his face. “You’re coming back?”
“Of course,” Colin said. “As far as I’m concerned, I never left.” Stefan looked down, and Colin could tell he’d said the wrong thing. “What?”
Stefan shrugged. “It’s just been hard without you, is all. It’s been lonely. Kitty’s had it rough. It felt like you were the only person who understood what was happening to me, and then you left me to deal with it alone.”
Colin grabbed Stefan’s hand in his. “Stefan, that’s not what I meant to do at all. I wanted to show you the truth. I needed you to believe me.”
“I did,” retorted Stefan. “You didn’t have to leave me.”
Stefan knew he was being selfish, but in that moment, he didn’t care. Pearl needed Colin more than he did, so did Kitty, so did Thakur. Colin brought Tuckersoft most of their profit and the company had been experiencing an obvious decline since his disappearance. But he needed Colin, and Colin had left him.
Colin eyes grew impossibly sadder. He took off his glasses and placed them on the sink, so he could truly meet Stefan’s eyes. “I won’t leave you again. I promise. If I could do things differently, trust me, I would. I didn’t think about how hard this would be for you.”
“Well you should have,” Stefan snapped. “I should have,” Colin agreed. He shuffled closer, so close that Stefan could feel his body heat, and he had to look up to keep eye contact.
“I’m so sorry,” Colin whispered. His hand was still holding Stefan’s and his eyes were bright and glassy. Stefan waited for him to continue, but when Colin opened his mouth, no words came out.
So he let go of Stefan’s hand and stood up, walking across the bathroom and to the door. Stefan watched him as his heart sank. Colin had been gone for over a year, and that’s all he had to say? Sorry? Stefan decided that he wasn’t letting Colin off so easily.
He marched across the bathroom, spinning Colin around and shoving him against the bathroom door. His back hit it with a thump and he gasped in surprise. Stefan grabbed his blazer collar in tight fists.
He didn’t have a plan for what he was going to do. All he knew is that he couldn’t lose Colin again. He surged forward and kissed Colin hard on the mouth. Colin gasped again, against his lips.
Stefan pulled him by the collar until their chests were pressed together. Colin grabbed a handful of Stefan’s hair and pulled. Stefan couldn’t tell what any of it meant, if they were angry or passionate, clinging to each other or pushing each other away.
Stefan pushed Colin’s blazer off his shoulders, letting it drop in a heap on the floor. Colin’s hands drifted up his jumper, his hot palms against Stefan’s cold skin. He felt dizzy, everything felt so solid, and hot, and heavy and Stefan felt like everything was going blurry.
It didn’t register that the loud noise he heard was the front door shutting behind Kitty until it was too late. “Stefan?” She yelled, the sound of her footsteps getting louder.
Stefan pulled away from Colin with a smack from their lips. “Shit!”
“Stefan!”
Kitty was coming closer, her footsteps now close enough that Stefan knew she was in the bedroom. All that separated her now from him and Colin was one door.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Stefan continued. Colin grabbed his shoulder, hard enough to ground him. “Stefan, it’s okay. What’s the matter?”
“We shouldn’t have done this, you’re Kitty’s boyfriend. And I shouldn’t have kissed Kitty-“
“You kissed Kitty?” Colin asked, incredulously. He looked shocked, but somehow pleased. He was definitely snickering.
“Technically she kissed me,” Stefan corrected. Kitty’s voice was suddenly very loud, as if she were stood right next to him. “Stefan, is there someone in there with you? Did you bring someone into my house whilst I was gone?”
The door swung open, leaving Colin stumbling. Stefan pulled his arm to help him regain his balance, but it looked like his work wasn’t done as the look on Kitty face’s said she might faint.
Colin turned to face her, still with a smirk playing at his lips. “Actually, this is also my house.”
Kitty stood frozen, her mouth agape. Colin’s smile slowly fell. “Kitty?” He asked cautiously. She jumped forward, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him deeply. Stefan stood watching, awkwardly.
A single glistening tear fell down her cheek. Stefan felt like shedding bucketloads. He had known this would happen, ever since Colin walked through the door. Kitty wouldn’t need him any more, and neither would Pearl. He would go back to seeing Colin at work and never seeing Kitty again.
She pulled away and, to Stefan’s surprise, immediately turned to him. “Stefan? Did you know?” Her voice was hollow, as if the wrong answer might make her break.
“Of course not,” he said. “I really thought he was dead.”
“I was,” Colin confirmed, and when Kitty turned to him, he shrugged. “Don’t ask, I don’t know how it works either.”
“So what were you doing in here?” She asked, focusing her attention back on Stefan. “Cleaning Colin up,” he explained. She looked back with an arched eyebrow. It was then that she noticed the gaping wound on his head.
“I was going to bandage that,” Stefan added as her mouth fell open. “It’s alright. I’ll do it,” she countered.
Kitty walked over to the sink and started to rifle through the first-aid kit. Stefan turned to Colin for the first time since she had arrived. “I should go,” he said, and Colin looked startled. “Go? But-“
“Really,” Stefan insisted. “I should go.”
He moved towards the door but Colin placed a firm hand on his shoulder, stopping him. “Don’t go, Stefan. Please.”
“Col-“ Stefan began, but he didn’t get the chance to finish as Colin had bent down and kissed him. Stefan’s hands immediately went to his shoulders, and he used that grip to pull him away. “Colin!” He exclaimed.
He quickly looked over at Kitty, but thankfully she had her back turned to them. “What are you doing?” He hissed at Colin.
“ You kissed me !” Colin announced, much too loudly for Stefan’s liking. “Colin!” He gasped, but it was too late as he heard Kitty say, “you kissed Colin?”
Stefan froze so Colin nodded, with what Stefan was sure was a blush. “He kissed me.”
Stefan slowly turned, expecting to see Kitty glaring at him, furiously. But instead she was grinning. “Finally, you figured it out! I wasn’t sure if you were just trying to hide the fact that you’re in love with Colin or you are actually that oblivious!”
Stefan blinked slowly at her, waiting for the punchline that never came. “Wait…What?”
Her face fell. “Wait. You still don’t know?” Stefan looked between Colin and Kitty, both with knowing looks on their faces, as if there was some unspoken fact that he was also supposed to be in on.
“I don’t understand,” he muttered. Colin‘s expression turned to pity, but he wasn’t the one to speak. “You are in love with Colin, aren’t you?” Kitty asked.
Stefan focused on her, needing to ground himself but not knowing if he could look at Colin without crying. Is that what this was? Love? The reason he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Colin since he had met him? The reason Colin’s death had affected him so much?
“I…I’ve never thought about it that way before.” The back of Stefan’s eyes felt hot and his vision was going blurry. He realised he was crying just in time to blink back his tears.
Colin still must have noticed, however, as he wrapped two arms around Stefan’s shoulders and balanced his chin on the top of his head. “You don’t have to give it much thought. Trust me, it’s worse if you do. Just let yourself be you.”
Stefan felt as if his heart was expanding. As if it wasn’t big enough to hold the love he had for both Colin and Kitty. “I don’t know how to do that,” he replied. Kitty took a step towards him and placed both hands on his cheeks. “I think we have some idea,” she said, and kissed him again.
He let her kiss him, not sure what was happening but not wanting it to stop. She pulled away and Colin leaned down to kiss her and Stefan’s confusion only grew. What was happening?
It finally clicked for Stefan when Colin’s lips left Kitty’s and met his. This was his choice, this is what he could have. He didn’t have to choose between Colin or Kitty, and they weren’t going to choose each other. He could have both .
He smiled against Colin’s lips. “I love you both ,” he whispered, and giggled when Kitty let out a sigh of relief. “Now he gets it!”