Chapter Text
Usually taking the pins out relieved her aching head somewhat, but not today. Not for the last few days, actually, she realized. Kathryn studied herself in the bathroom mirror as she released the last few locks of hair from containment. Her eyes were a bit sunken, but she hadn’t been sleeping well lately. Maybe the Doctor was right and she should take a day off. She really hadn’t felt like herself lately. The persistent low level nausea, the headache hovering but never quite making the attack, disrupted sleeping patterns - if it were in any way possible, she might think she was pregnant. But short of immaculate conception, it surely wasn’t that.
She quickly did some math… over 6 months since she had last seen Mark. Right, she knew that. Definitely not pregnant then.
She brushed aside a tug of disappointment. Yes, she had always dreamt of kids and it would have been nice to have a piece of Mark with her way out here. But this was hardly the ideal time for such sentimentality. As Captain of the only Federation vessel in the Delta Quadrant with no support from Starfleet Command for the next 70 years or so, she was hardly the ideal candidate for motherhood.
If she weren’t so utterly alone, she’d laugh. Ugh, or so nauseous, she thought when even the thought of laughter made her stomach gurgle.
It’s only my mind playing tricks on me, she told herself as she climbed into bed. I’m under an immense amount of stress and then add to that all the talk of procreation lately with Kes’s false elogium and those creatures trying to mate with the ship… and of course, Ensign Wildman who actually is pregnant. Kathryn’s stomach seized at that thought which only reinforced her hypothesis. She pulled the blanket more tightly around herself, convinced that all she needed was a good night’s sleep.
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Kathryn jolted awake with a gasp at around 0300. For a moment, she couldn’t remember what had startled her, but as the fog of sleep lifted, she began to remember The Dream .
In the dream, she was holding an infant. Hardly a surprise, given where her mind had been right before bed.
No, the shock wasn’t the presence of the baby. It was his jet black hair and tanned skin. Surely it wasn’t her baby as it bore no resemblance to her or to Mark. And yet - the way her heart felt close to bursting when she looked at that tiny face, the way he snuggled into her chest - there was no doubt in her mind that this dream baby was hers .
She managed to pry her eyes away from the precious bundle in her arms and looked around to see that she was in the bed in her quarters on Voyager. Now that her baby tunnel vision was broken, she realized that there were noises coming from the other room and she instinctively pulled the infant closer to her chest. No one was going to hurt this baby, whether it was hers or not.
She scooted to the edge of the bed, whispering soothing sounds to keep the baby quiet. She needed to see who she was dealing with out there, and she needed for them not to know she was looking.
Just then, the door slid open and Chakotay entered her bedroom like he belonged there . He carried a tray which held a steaming cup of coffee and a plate of eggs. “Darn, I was trying not to wake you,” he said softly and then he was all smiles as he leaned down to kiss the baby’s head and then Kathryn’s.
And that’s when she woke up.