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The sound of utensils scraping against plates is interrupted by Alexei mumbling under his breath.
Bucky looks up from his plate, "What did you just say?"
"I said," Alexei drawls "I can't believe my daughter is still married to Captain America's pet soldier." He looks Bucky dead in the eye.
"Fifteen years and I'm still not good enough for your daughter?" Bucky is standing up now. "What is it gonna take?"
"Well, I don't know, mabye you could shoot her again?"
"Алексей, хватит.(Alexei that's enough.)" Melina sighs, "У них есть общий ребенок. (They have a child together.)"
Peter takes out his phone and begins recording. He can tell this family fight will go down in history.
"Расслабься, мама, он просто злится, потому что Баки дрался со Стивом и победил. (Relax Mama he's just mad because Bucky has fought Steve and won.)" Natasha wipes her hands on her napkin.
"I am not!"
"Oh please, I asked Steve," Bucky says, "He's never even heard of the Red Guardian. The Soviet Union's secret weapon my ass!"
"Alright, who's ready for desert?" May emerges from the kitchen.
"Not now May," Yelena smirks. "My father and my brother-in-law are just about to compare хуй (dick) sizes."
"Oh please Alexei, Джеймс полюбил Наталью с тех пор, как увидел, как она танцует «Лебединое озеро». (James has loved Natalia since he saw her dancing Swan Lake,)" She slams the tiramisu down on the table. "There is no one in this world better for your daughter so you will keep quiet and eat your tiramisu."
Alexei looks at the glaring women circling like vultures and very quickly puts some dessert on his plate.
"That's good boy." Bucky coos.
Natasha is too busy helping her mother keep her father off her husband to notice when Yelena and Peter sneak off to go play Mario kart in Peters room.
