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WE ALL HATE EACH OTHER (Discontinued)

Summary:

Four strangers move into the same apartment, in the hopes of making life easier in the big city: Unfortunately for them, they are the most incompatible and insufferable bunch one can imagine. Shenanigans ensue, and their poor neighbour gets dragged into their messes.

This is something of a situational comedy, a crack-fic which will barely have a significant plot, written purely for fun. Please enjoy!

~~~This is discontinued, sorry gang~~~

Notes:

Be sure to check out DeliriousforSoukoku, my wonderful friend and the co-creator of this fic!
This fic will be updated randomly, so stay tuned.

Chapter 1: Meet Atsushi!

Chapter Text

Written by DeliriousforSoukoku and Justanothergayficwriter

 

29/08/23

 

So, I’ve been told writing a diary is beneficial for one’s health, I don’t remember where I have read it, maybe an old magazine? Anyway! What would be a better time to start than the day I moved into a new apartment?

I remember thinking ‘my roommates will be nice,’ and ‘it’ll be fun.’ I remember thinking that just this morning… Boy, was I wrong.

Atsushi Nakajima: a university student studying linguistics. Perhaps not the most glamorous, nor the most interesting, but he liked it, and that was enough for him.

To make my life easier, or so I thought, I started looking for apartments in downtown Yokohama. Of course, I had no budget to afford either, so I had to settle with sharing it with three other people I had never met.

 

And so, a few days before summer would end, the white-haired man was just leaving a rickety elevator, carrying a bunch of boxes with himself. He put the boxes down by the door marked 502 and opened it.

 

He was the first to arrive at the apartment, and so, he had a few minutes to look around. The place certainly felt cozy on first glance: pre-furnished with simple but functional furniture. The living room was homely with a soft blue couch and a matching blue armchair facing a slightly old TV on the wall. There was a nice wooden coffee table and a few bookshelves lining the wall as well. A small kitchen was connected to the main room, but the spaces were separated by a breakfast bar counter. Down the hallway, there was also a moderately sized bathroom, with a shower and a washing machine slotted in the corner. And finally, two bedrooms, each with two beds, two wardrobes, and two desks.

 

It was a lot better than I expected! So, while I was waiting for my future roommates, I called dibs on one of the beds, and started unpacking my stuff.

 

Soon, Atsushi could hear the lock click, and he rushed to the living room to greet his new roommate. The new person who arrived was a short, red-haired man. Despite the summer heat, he was also wearing a black dress shirt, black trousers and even a black bowler hat. He was pulling a suitcase after himself.

“Oh, hello! Are you going to live here too?” Atsushi asked, offering the other a warm smile.

“No, I carried this up five stories for fun. Of course I am.” He shot Atsushi a tired glare. Probably due to the stress of moving.

 

So much for first impressions.

 

Atsushi just nodded in response. “Oh, if you have more luggage I could-“

“Please do, yeah. It’s outside.” He spoke quite bluntly.

The redhead took the suitcase to the other room, and shortly followed Atsushi outside to the hallway. Atsushi was more than surprised when he saw the sheer number of boxes and bags his new roommate had. It took the two of them a solid fifteen minutes to just carry them all inside.

 

Maybe he is a bit of a hoarder, that’s fine though, as long as it won’t take over the rest of the apartment.

 

Once they finally placed the final box down, the redhead turned to Atsushi.

“I forgot to introduce myself. Chuuya Nakahara, pleasure’s all mine.” He held a hand out, and Atsushi shook it. He was surprised by the firmness of the other’s handshake.

“I’m Atsushi! Atsushi Nakajima, nice to meet you!”

“Sure is.” The redhead nodded as he walked around the apartment, taking it all in, like Atsushi did earlier.

“S-so!” Atsushi tried to initiate a conversation. “This is a nice place we have, right?”

“Yeah. I like it.” Chuuya turns away from admiring the place to face Atsushi “Can you cook, kid?”

Atsushi shook his head. “Only some dishes. What about you?” He hoped at least someone in this apartment was a good chef, otherwise they’d probably be living on his tea on rice for a while.

Chuuya nodded with a confident grin on his face. “Sure do. Maybe I’ll take that as my main chore, then.”

Atsushi nodded at that enthusiastically. “Yeah, sure! I will take… Vacuuming and mopping?” Chuuya nodded once. “We have two more people, right?”

“Apparently. Wish we didn’t.” The redhead said with a flat tone.

 

Now I think I wish so too. Chuuya is the only other sane person here.

 

The two chatted more to get to know each other a little, and Atsushi even went to make them some tea: Their kitchen was quite well-equipped, and they already had water, electricity and gas working.

“Where the hell are the others already?” Chuuya groaned as he took a sip from his mug, and then put it down. “And what is that unholy noise coming from the hallway?”

 

Chuuya walked over to the door to look out, instead though, the door flung open and hit him in the nose with a whack. Two people barged in, falling over in the doorway.

The one on the floor was very pale, and for some ungodly reason, wore a long black overcoat over otherwise normal clothing. His hair was jet black as well, except the ends of his bangs, which were white.

The man now on top of him had really messy, short, brown hair, and wore a large beige coat.

Atsushi again wondered how these people were not burning alive, the simple white shirt he wore already felt like a lot to him.

 

“Get off of me, you rabid dog!” The man in black screamed at the brunette. Whom, instead, just sat up on him.

“Oh, what a nice place we got here, didn’t we, Akutagawa?” He asked as he looked around. He noticed Chuuya who was also sprawled out across the floor from the impact.

The brunette bounced up to stand, it seemed like he made sure to step on the man called Akutagawa. “Oh, hello? That’s a weird place to have a nap at, trust me, I tried.” He tutted and shook his head mockingly at Chuuya, who glared at him.

He stepped towards Atsushi curiously. “I’m Osamu Dazai, nice to meet you!” He held a hand out to Atsushi who was frozen in place, baffled by the scene.

The white-haired kid shook his head and mumbled: “Atsushi Nakajima… Is your friend okay?” Concerned, he looks over Dazai’s shoulder at the man who practically flew through the door.

 

The ‘friend’ in question got up to stand. “I hate you, Dazai.”

“Oh, don’t be so harsh now, Akutagawa!” Dazai sighed dramatically, and spun to pick up Chuuya’s mug of tea, and drank it. “Agh, that was vile.” He frowned.

 

Chuuya smacked his hand and took the cup back. “Get your own, jackass!”

“Everyone is so vulgar here, Atsushi, can you stand this?” The dramatic brunette asked as he went to get himself his own mug.

“Well I-“

“Don’t even listen to that asshole, he is the worst man you’ll ever meet!” Akutagawa told Atsushi before he could even respond.

“Aw, says the one who is famous for being a ray of sunshine.” Dazai quipped back.

“Can you both shut up so we can distribute house chores now?” Chuuya asked, irritated.

 

Yeah… In short, my new roommates were a difficult bunch. Chuuya is at least a decent guy, but the other two… Of course, Dazai settled to share a room with Chuuya, and I got this Akutagawa fellow. I still have no idea what his first name is. He is not very sociable.

 

As Chuuya and Atsushi began laying out the list of chores, Dazai just yawned. “I don’t really have time for this, you three can handle it, right? Yeah, you can, mhm…” He sneakily slipped through the door and left without another word.

“Come back here, Dazai!” Akutagawa yelled after him, to no avail.

“I don’t think he’s coming back…” Atsushi pointed out.

Akutagawa groaned and got up as well.

“Wait, where are you going, won’t you help with the chores?” Atsushi questioned.

“No.”

“At least dusting?”

“No.”

“The bins..?”

“No.” He shut the door to his and Atsushi’s room behind him, so now Atsushi and Chuuya were alone in the living room again.

“Charming.” The redhead commented, rolling his eyes.

The two eventually managed to evenly distribute chores, though Chuuya wanted to give Dazai and Akutagawa more. But Atsushi stopped him, just because he didn’t want to stir up more unnecessary arguing.

 

And as the redhead left to his room to unpack, Atsushi went to his room, and saw Akutagawa on the bed he already chose and made.

“Hey, uh, Akutagawa, that’s my bed.” He mentioned gently.

“Leave me alone.”

“But… I already chose that one, and-“

“Mine now.”

“All my stuff is in the wardrobe already!”

“Move it.”

 

Maybe it won’t be so easy living here, but I have hope… At least there are a few more days before university starts. I think Akutagawa is also a student, but I have no idea about the other two.

 

Alright, good night now, diary. I’ll write more soon.