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Even since he’s been declared innocent and freed from the Fortress of Meropide after his whole debacle of a trial, Childe has taken a liking to long, pleasant strolls along the streets of Fontaine. There are but a few things he enjoys more than seeing the shock on the faces of the citizens of the Hydro Nation as they realize that he has regained his freedom.
Some would even go as far as to say that he’s been literally parading.
Childe isn’t sure what scandalizes them more, though: To have him not locked up in a cell deep underwater anymore or to see him walking hand in hand with their respected and noble iudex.
Just remembering how eager Neuvillette was when Childe asked to link their fingers together for the first time brings a smile to his face. Even now, he’s still left awestruck that behind the tough appearance of the unwavering Chief of Justice, hides such a gentle and timid soul. Without him and his persistence to do the right thing and prove his obvious innocence, Childe would probably still be rotting in jail, because eh, who would care about the fate of a Fatui Harbinger, even if it was unjust?
Once they started openly dating, a few people predictably tried spreading rumors that Childe only got acquitted because of their relationship, though it was put in much cruder words. He swiftly dealt with them before word of it could even reach Neuvillette’s ear. Now that he knows how sensitive his lover truly is, he will not have anyone make him cry for untrue motives. Especially since he doubts anyone could show themselves as impartial as Neuvillette does his hardest to be. Only fools would question his integrity.
However, given how passersby judge him for ‘corrupting’ the Chief of Justice, he cannot help but wonder how they would react if they knew the other man he’s holding hands with is actually Rex Lapis, god of contracts and protector of Liyue.
To outsiders, Zhongli appears to be the one relatively average person in their relationship, his ethereal beauty set aside. Whenever he overhears that kind of comment, Childe has to stop himself from howling in laughter. There are lots of words he can think of to describe his wonderful mate, but average definitely isn’t one of them.
He knows all three of them attract looks though, that it has people wondering how a filthy criminal like himself managed to get not one, but two handsome, clever, and well-mannered partners. If anything, he revels in it, in their cluelessness about who all three of them really are. In their ignorance of how he basically saved their whole city by showering the Hydro Dragon in endless love and tenderness, until he had no more reasons for tears.
All that to say, he has been focusing his attention on the people of Fontaine who loathe him. Not without reason, of course. His stay in the Abyss and his training with the Fatui have taught him to always be on the lookout for potential enemies. Habits die hard, especially when they’ve been the only things keeping you alive for years.
And so, Childe is left entirely baffled when their strolling routine takes them in front of Fontaine’s renowned toyshop.
“Eh, wait a sec! Is it me or does this really look like my narwhal?” He exclaims as he grabs a blue plushie on the stand.
A quick inspection confirms his suspicion. To his greatest confusion, the toy is entirely similar to his hydro construct, apart from the smiley face it has been given, probably so it would further appeal to kids. That is some level of dedication if he’s ever seen one, but it fails to explain why anyone would decide to make toy replicas of his signature attack.
“Ah, yes. For many citizens of Fontaine, your trial and everything that followed it have become the most entertaining show to have ever been performed in the city. Toys such as this one have become rather popular, especially because of its reversible feature.” Neuvillette explains.
He picks up one of the plushies too, and with his thumbs, puts pressure on the top of it. The blue narwhal swiftly disappears, only to be replaced by a purple one that looks almost identical to its azure twin, except that this one appears to be pouting, clearly unhappy.
“I believe this is meant to represent the changes in your behavior when you decided to fight me and activated your delusion,” Neuvillette adds.
“Well, that’s unrealistic. I never looked that upset during the trial. I can tell you, I was smiling like crazy under my mask when I realized what a good fight I was about to have! But anyway, how the hell did they manage to reproduce my narwhal so well.”
“All of your duels with Master Duelist Clorinde are public, and have attracted so much clout that some of them have been recorded. I believe those records would have made the creation of a related toy significantly easier.” The Iudex surmises.
“It is obvious that much care has been put into their creation.” Zhongli intervenes. “The fleece used here is incredibly soft to the touch and appears to be of the utmost quality. The shape of the narwhal also remains consistent even as it is flipped around and is quite pleasing to the eye. I would also venture so far as to say that it is the perfect size to be held in hands or tucked close to one’s chest, since it has quite evidently been designed to be cuddlable. The craftsmanship put into the eyes and the mouth also makes the expression of the toy more vivid and gives it a lot of personality…”
Childe sighs. While Zhongli’s grand speech makes his intent quite obvious, he also notices how Neuvillette is tentatively eyeing the toys, though he doesn’t dare be as forward as the consultant. He cannot help but smile, endeared by both their behaviors. How can he blame or deny them, when their actions are fueled by their love for him?
Unable to refuse them anything, he reaches into his pocket and pulls his wallet out, all while trying to hide how flustered they’re making him.
“Fine. I’m buying each of you one, and three more for my siblings. My point still stands, though: The purple narwhal should look delighted, not upset.”
He almost shouts that last part, just to be obnoxious, and is taken aback when the obvious manager of the store, a man dressed in all purple clothes, hurriedly walks up to him, looking absolutely elated despite how Childe just criticized his work.
“Oh, Mister Tartaglia, it is a pleasure welcoming you here! I would gladly take advice from the greatest toy seller in Snezhnaya! Also, you might be interested in our latest brand of toys designed after the Chief of Justice himself!”
The greatest toy seller in Snezhnaya? How the hell does he know about that? Childe wonders.
Still, he also cannot help but perk up at that last part about the potential existence of some Neuvillette-inspired soft toys.
After all, he would not mind getting some company for his Exuvia plushie.