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It has been a while since they came back from the painted world and everything is back to normal, well mostly, there has been something weird going on between her and Hanako-kun.
She doesn’t know how to explain it, they talk and tease each other like normal but there's something bothering her. That probably is that they haven’t exactly talked much about what happened there to begin with, sure they talked about her life span, but other things happened in that world.
Things that make her blush when she remembers.
Like Hanako-kun asking her on a date, when he was disguised as a seemingly alive version of himself, and she knows it was him who was doin it, not a copy of himself like Aoi and Akane-kun.
So what was that about, did he really wanted to go on a date with her, or was it a way to amuse himself? But no, the way he flushed and ran away before she could respond told her otherwise.
What did that mean then? Did he…like her? She flushes red at the thought.
She can’t be sure, she thought that once and it backfired terribly, she doesn’t want to repeat the confession tree incident.
But what else can she think?
He didn’t say anything about her basically saying she liked him to his face either, well he probably thinks she means it the same way the first time she said it, when she gave him those donuts.
That she likes and enjoys being with him but as just a friend, and saying so many times he wasn’t her type probably didn’t help.
But it’s true she likes him, like like him, it was hard to come to terms before, but she can’t deny it anymore, at least to herself.
She knows that her feelings for Hanako-kun of the bathroom, the seventh mystery of the school, run deep, deeper than any other princely guy she has liked, the painted world just confirmed that.
She wants to know everything about him, for him to trust her with all his emotions, to make sure that smile of his never leaves his face, she knows it’s complicated, he is dead after all.
But she can’t help it; she just wants to be with him, for him to melt in her arms and forget all the sins he has committed.
Would he like that, for her to hold him and never let go, for her to kiss him on the cheek,forehead,eyelids,lips… and remind him that he is a good person, that she knows he’s a killer, killed his own brother, but that she only sees the lovely boy that is charming and snarky and loves the stars.
She still doesn’t know what happened in his past, what pushed him to kill his own blood, but she doesn’t doubt for a second that he is a good person, that he is kind and that he worries for others, she knows.
She knows he not only protects her because she’s his assistant and cleans his toilets, he cares for her, the painted world only demonstrates that. He is not shallow like he thinks, she knows he even cares about Kou-kun, even if he doesn’t say it, she knows.
Would he let her?
Would he let her love him?
She thinks back to the painted world, when they were up in the clouds and he revealed his own wish for her to live, when he told her to close her eyes, she thought at that moment that he would surely kiss her, she wished so bad for him to kiss her, but at the end he pulled a typical Hanako-kun and threw her off the ledge.
Did he notice that she desperately wanted him to kiss her and reacted that way?
She hopes not.
“Something on your mind Yashiro?” Hanako-kun’s voice interrupts her thoughts about, well,him.
She’s having lunch on the roof like any other day, and the ghost is with her, Kou-kun is running late so she has started without him.
“Ah, It’s nothing, just zoned out”
“Ok, hey can I have one of your fried shrimp?” He doesn’t really need to eat, but it’s nice seeing him do it, in a way or another he looks almost alive doing such a mundane human function, she thinks that if he were alive she probably would make him bentos, she would make him bentos now too to be honest.
“Yeah sure.”
He grabs her chopsticks and fishes a shrimp and eats it.
Did he use her chopsticks?
The ones that were on her mouth, the ones that are now in his mouth.
She flushes red and looks away from him “Aw, are you embarrassed about sharing cutlery~?” He teases her getting close to her face, making the red on her cheeks more vibrant.
Of course she’s embarrassed. Did he know what that implied?
“Sorry, was that not ok?” She hears him whisper shyly, that is another thing inside of the weird thing going on between them. He is shyer,softer, don’t get her wrong he would still tease her and drape himself all over her, but the times he thinks he has crossed a line he clams up and shyly apologizes, remaining her of when he was trying to disguise himself as Yugi Amane or back to the confession tree incident.
“It’s ok I don’t mind” And she really doesn’t, not with him, but she can’t shake one thought on her mind, something that she has seen in so many romance manga.
“Did you know that is considered an indirect kiss?” What is she doing, why has she said that out loud, that wasn’t something to share, much less the boy who makes her heart beat uncontrollably.
He flusters “Is it?” He says, voice still in a whisper, kinda trembling, did he really not know? Well, that was a romance trope, and he spended half a century cooped up in a bathroom, so maybe his knowledge is pretty outdated.
“It is” she whispers,looking at his moon like eyes, they are still close from when he leaned in earlier.
They stay in silence just looking at each other.
She looks into those beautiful amber eyes, she loves his eyes, they remind her of the moon he loves so much.
She also loves his skin even if a little transparent at times, she knows it’s soft from the times he has rubbed their cheeks together, his skin is also cold, but she doesn’t mind that anymore.
She also loves his hair and how his bangs frame his face, before his choppy hair didn’t seem as attractive, she would punch that Nene for thinking that, his hair is adorable, the color of the starless midnight sky, and she wishes to run her fingers through it like so many times he has done with her own.
His nose is adorable and she wants to kiss it, and hopes to share skimo kisses with him.
And then there are his lips, his peach colored lips, they look so soft, she knows they are soft from the time he kissed her cheek, soft and cold, they shine a little and she wonders how they would feel pressed against hers, like she does everytime she looks or thinks about them, would kissing him feel cold?
She loves his cute boyish face, a face that is so close to her now, they've gotten closer without noticing, would he let her discover how his lips feel, how would they taste, would they even have a taste or is it how he doesn’t smell like anything.
Half closed eyes stare back at her own, and she looks down at his lips and back up to him,pleadingly.
Does he know how he is her whole world, that she’s over mooning over boys that don’t deserve it, that he is the only one in her eyes.
If he doesn’t, let her demonstrate it, let her kiss him, let her say it.
His cheeks flush a bit red,it’s adorable, he looks down at her lips too and then back at her eyes, with a expression that reads “this shouldn’t be allowed” but she doesn’t care, their faces are centimeters apart, noses almost touching, and she wants to kiss this ghost, so she closes her eyes and tilts her head, the decision it’s his, it looks like the hesitation of earlier disappears because she can feel him getting closer, his breath on her lips-
The door to the rooftop suddenly opens “Ooiii Hanako!” They separate quickly and try to act as if they weren’t about to defy the laws of nature.
Kou-kun is here.
They almost kissed-
They almost kissed!
Did that mean he liked her, he doesn’t look back at her now and focuses on bantering with Kou-kun, she hopes so, she really hopes that he wasn’t just caught up in the moment and that once they are left alone again, they resume where they left off.
.
She’s in class, counting down the minutes so she can go to Hanako-kun’s bathroom and talk about what happened back at lunch, when she feels the familiar cold that she has come to love, draped around her shoulders.
“Yashiro~” She loves the way he says her name, she loves the way he feels draped around her- but couldn’t he wait until she wasn’t in class?
Like this she can’t talk to him or touch him the way she wants, without making a fool of herself.
“What are you doing here?” she writes in her notebook.
“What, you don’t want me here?” He tries to pass it as a tease ,but she can hear the unisines of his voice, that won’t do.
She takes the hand that is around her shoulder and squeezes it, for good measure she also writes him a message.
“I want you here”. A Little forward she has to admit, but they almost kissed before, he probably has an idea of her feelings now.
He buries his face on her shoulder “Good” he whispers against her ear and she suppresses a shudder.
He nuzzles her temple and she can’t be more in love with him, how is that every action he does just make her heart so full.
She turns her head towards him and their foreheads are pressed together, she can see his eyes very nicely on this angle, she loses herself again in them.
Then she sees them drop down to her lips and then back up, that eases her mind, he did intend on kissing her back then and very much want to again, but that also makes her instantly blush, here? now?
It’s not an ideal first kiss spot, not to mention she can’t do much, can't grab his face, can’t run her fingers through his hair, can’t kiss him stupid once the shyness of the first kiss is done.
But she looks into his eyes swimming with want, and she can’t do anything but cave, how can she not, when those moon eyes look at her like that.
So she looks back at her teacher to check that he is not looking, and looks back at the boy she’s crazy about and slightly tilts her head. She hopes no classmate is looking in her direction, it probably looks weird if you can’t see the ghost boy.
She sees Hanako-kun’s eyes sparkle and then she closes her eyes and waits for him to close the distance, she feels his breath again on her lips-
“Yashiro-san! Can you keep reading?” The voice of her teacher startles her, making her push away Hanako-kun subsequently making him bump his head against the wall; she's about to apologize when the teacher calls her again.
“Yashiro-san?”
“Ah- yes sensei!” She stands up from her chair, open book in hands-
Where were they?
She wasn’t paying attention because a particular ghost wanted a kiss.
The ghost in question, noticing her stammer, goes behind her and with a hand indicates a paragraph, she loves him he deserves a kiss on the mouth, she looks back at her expecting teacher, later.
.
It’s already after class, and she’s cleaning the bathroom, and you’re probably wondering why she is cleaning and not smooching with a ghost.
Well
Kou-kun is here
She probably should have thought of that, she adores him really and really cherishes their friendship, but this is the second time today she can’t know what a ghost’s lips feel like because of him.
It’s ok she’ll wait for him to leave and then- smooching time.
It doesn’t take much, once the bathroom is all clean he says he has to leave to watch over his little sister.
So she and Hanako-kun stay in the middle of the bathroom until they can’t hear Kou-kun’s footsteps anymore, once they make sure that he is in fact gone they look back at each other, and they flush red immediately.
Before they were able to create a mood without saying anything, but now they are just standing awkwardly beside each other.
Should she say something, but what?
Let 's kiss?
Yeah like that wasn’t embarrassing.
Lucky for her he takes the initiative and gets closer to her, wraps an arm around her waist and brings her to him.
“Yashiro,” He whispers.
“Mm?” She puts her hands against his chest and he wraps his other hand around her, they get closer.
A first kiss in a bathroom isn’t really on her “best kissing spots” list but he makes that don’t matter.
He presses his forehead against hers, just like they were a couple hours before, only better she can wrap her arms around his neck this time “Before…we..ah-” He’s nervous, he’s so cute when he’s nervous, he acts like he has his act together when flirting with her, but when things get real he can’t help but be flustered, she loves that about him.
“W-would be ok.. if-?”
“Please” She whispers back, because of course it’s ok, more than ok, she’s been dreaming about this even before she admitted to herself that she fell for him.
That is enough for him, he close to her and she closes her eyes and waits for the feeling of soft lips against hers-
A hoard of mokkes suddenly appear demanding candy.
She’s going to kill someone
.
It’s early in the morning the next day, so early in fact the only people that are at the school are the teachers and just a couple of students, probably doing something club related before school starts.
She has come early to catch Hanako-kun before classes start.
She hopes that, with so few people in school grounds, they won’t be interrupted this time.
So yeah she has come early so she can kiss a ghost, but can you blame her? Yesterday they almost kissed three times and been interrupted all three!
At least all doubts that he likes her are gone, after almost kissing three times it was pretty clear that the ghost shared her feelings. And she’s ecstatic, not only does a boy like her, but it’s also the boy of her dreams, the boy she can’t help but be in love with.
So as she enters through the school's entrance, there by the shoe lookers she sees her beloved ghost sat down.
Was he waiting for her? Did he have the same idea of trying to see her first thing in the morning, she could scream.
Did he want to kiss her that badly? She flushes red, this stupid ghost just finds new ways to embarrass her, lucky for him she was head over heels in love with him.
When he notices her he gets up, he’s about to tell her something, probably something like “Good morning, Yashiro” or maybe he was gonna clam up like he did yesterday in the bathroom and get too flustered to ask for a kiss. And the prospect of that is adorable and any other day she would’ve waited to see that, but she’s sleep deprived from freaking out last night about the prospect of kissing him, so she doesn’t let him speak and wraps her arms around his shoulders.
She pulls him to her until their foreheads are touching, he looks back at her with a surprised expression, haven't expected her to be so forward, it melts quickly into one of want.
They are looking into each other's eyes again like yesterday on the many of their attempts, “Hey” He said “Hi” she responds.
They get closer, she closes her eyes, tilts her head, she feels his breath intermingle with her own-
“Yashiro-san?”
She turns around, arms still wrapped around the apparition, and there it is,standing there by the door ,Fuji-kun, she’s about to scramble out of the ghosts embrace when Hanako-kun squeezes her against him with no idea of letting go, so she just puts her hands between them,so it doesn’t look like she’s hugging air, Hanako-kun is looking back at him with a murderous glare.
Is he mad because he interrupted or is he wary of him because she showed interest in him in the past? She wishes she could reassure him that he's the only one in her eyes, but unlucky to her she can’t do that without making herself look like a lunatic in front of her classmate.
“Ah, Fuji-kun, good morning” She manages to say at last, her classmate only looks at her like she was weird and goes to his locker “Morning” He says, probably just to be polite and ignores her.
Hanako-kun is still holding her, but much to their dismay, more students start to arrive, and the opportunity to be alone is totally gone.
.
She gets her hopes up for lunch, but they're completely gone when she sees Kou-kun is in time today, so lunch break passes with amicable chit chat and joking between the three friends, and 0 kisses.
She would be ok with that on a regular day, but she’s getting desperate, they almost kissed four times now, emphasis on the almost.
So she’ll have to wait a little more, that’s ok! Completely fine!
She has gone without kissing Hanako-kun all these months, she can take a few more hours.
But it seems like the apparition it’s getting desperate too, he visits her again today at mid lesson.
? She writes to him.
“I missed you” He whispers in her ear, arms wrapped around her shoulders, she suppresses a shiver, did he want to kill her.
She turns her head toward him, they are basically in the same position as yesterday, but she knows that even if she’s dying for a kiss, the most probable thing is that they would be interrupted by the teacher again or a classmate is just gonna see her kissing air.
So even though she doesn’t want to, she turns away from him and starts writing another message “We probably shouldn't” she feels him deflate on her shoulder as soon as he reads it, and she feels instantly bad.
To try and comfort him she buries her hand in his hair- like she has wished so many times before- and caresses his ebony locks, she feels him relax in her shoulder.
She thinks that would be the end of that, but Hanako-kun hasn’t given up yet it seems, because the next thing she feels is the brush of his lips against her cheek.
She goes scarlet.
He doesn’t stop there, she feels him kiss her temple, her jaw, behind her ear -that makes her impossible to suppress a shudder-
“What are you doing?!” She writes back at him.
The kisses stop, and she kicks herself for interrupting him.
“Kissing you, do you want me to stop?” He sounds whiny on that last part.
Well no she doesn’t want him to stop, but this is kinda embarrassing and she’s in the middle of class! Not to talk about how torturous it is for her, not being able to kiss him back.
She also wants to kiss his jaw!
She shakes her head regardless, because she’s weak to him.
The next thing she feels is a kiss on the corner of her eye that is just lovely, please don’t stop.
He resumes his kissing, more on her cheek,temple,jaw… she feels him kiss her neck, she swallows a gasp, she doesn’t have time to think before she feels the press of his lips to the corner of her mouth.
That’s the closest they’ve been to kissing, their lips actually brushed this time.
She feels him start to kiss her hand, and she can't wait for it to be after class so she can kiss him stupid on return.
.
It’s after class and she is waiting for Kou-kun to leave once again. She feels bad about it but her thoughts are all consumed by the ghost boy of her dreams.
Much to her dismay he leaves late today, after the 5p.m alarm sounds, she doesn’t care that it is late though she doesn’t mind going home late if that means she’ll be able to smooch Hanako-kun.
Once they make sure that Kou-kun is gone and no mokke will surprise them, the apparition is the one to initiate.
He suddenly grabs her around the waist scooping her um making her let out a squeak, he sits her on the window sill and hugs her close to him “Can we kiss now?” That makes her bush furiously, even if they have attempted to kiss four times already they never actually said it out loud, he’s being so direct now, probably payback from this morning.
“Yes” She says back without thinking, because she doesn’t need to think, she wants to kiss this ghost.
He smiles back at her and that melts her heart, and she can't wait to know how that smile feels against her own.
He draws close to her, she closes her eyes, she can actually feel their lips brush-
Her ringtone startles them.
Hanako-kun lets out a frustrated sigh and buries his head against her shoulder, she gets out her phone, it’s her mom.
“Nene! Where are you! You know what time it is?!”
“Ah- Sorry mom I’m still at school”
“Well come home right now! I don’t want you walking around when it’s dark” She feels Hanako-kun squeeze her sides, she swallows a squeak.
“Yes,mom”
She hangs up and looks back at him. He slides to the floor and is on his knees on the floor with a completely defeated expression, she understands him.
“I have to go”
“Mh” He grumbles back.
She doesn’t like seeing him like this, an idea pops up in her head.
“Walk me to the gate?
He gets up to his feet as soon as she says it, eyes shining with determination.
He scoops her up again, grabs her bag and he floats out of the bathroom. She doesn't know what his plan is but for now she just relishes being carried by him. He starts floating backwards on the hallway, his nose touches hers and the red returns on her cheeks, she curls up to him enjoying the closeness.
He looks back at her pleadingly, and she instantly knows what he wants, she tilts her head, closes her eyes-
Thud!
The back of Hanako-kun’s head meets a wall.
“Ah-” He whines, he clutches at the back of his head.
“Are you ok?” She says worriedly, getting out of his arms.
“I think I’m gonna cry”
“Eh?!” Cry? Did he really get that hurt?! She can’t have that, she can’t have her boy cry, then she will cry!
She’s about to go into nurse mode when he continues talking.
“Why doesn’t the universe let me kiss youuu???” Oh he was talking about that, yes she could also cry about that.
She holds his cheeks on her hands making him look at her, she caresses them.
“We will kiss!” She says determinantly.
“We’ll kiss tomorrow!”
He gives her a nood.
“Tomorrow”
.
“Today”
“We will kiss today”
That is better said than done.
First thing she arrives late to school, having overslept because last night she fell asleep late.
Once in the classroom Hanako-kun is around her shoulders almost immediately, but they agree again that the classroom won’t be when they kiss.
She gets antsy tho and excuses herself to “ go to the bathroom” they get into an utility closet and she thinks this is finally going to be it, but at the last second the janitor opens the door, she has to think an excuse as to why she was there, she said she was skipping class, better than say “ I was kissing a ghost” well, wrong, she was about to kiss a ghost.
Next attempt happened when she was in gym class. She was so distracted by the prospect of kissing him, consumed by her daydreams, that she didn’t notice the ball, it hit her on the face, bruising her cheek.
She goes to the infirmary, cheek swollen ghost on her tail worried, having watched the whole thing. The nurse attends to her wound, but excuses herself to go retrieve something, in that time Hanako-kunn gets close to her and she closes her eyes.
The nurse comes back before their lips make contact.
By the time she’s back in the bathroom they are both totally defeated, he floating around the air sprawled out and she is on the floor in the same position, sulking.
Kou-kun obviously notices this.
“Why are you guys sulking?” What is she supposed to tell him? Oh, we just keep getting interrupted when we try kissing-
“We can’t kiss” He whines.Welp Hanako-kun’s filter must be off.
“H-huh?!” Kou-kun gets flustered. “If senpai doesn’t want to kiss you then that’s that! You pervert!” She is very fond of his protectiveness, but that makes her chuckle, she? don’t want to kiss Hanako-kun?
“I want to kiss him. '' She whines too. It looks like her filter it’s also not working very well, on any other day she would've been embarrassed to say that so plainly, but given the circumstances she doesn't care right now.
“Senpai? You like Hanako?”
“I do” she replies lazily, any other day this direct confession of feelings would have flustered her, but she’s too tired now. She puts her hand on her face “Very much” She muffles on them.
She hears Kou-kun clear his throat, obviously embarrassed to be given this information so plainly. “Then what’s the problem?” He’s so nice, he knows a ghost and a dying girl want to kiss, and even though he is an exorcist and should put a stop to this, he only wants to help them.
“We keep getting interrupted” The apparition says.
“Oh- am- then why don’t you guys go to the rooftop, don’t worry I’ll stay here!”
“You don’t get it kid, if it’s not because of you then it’ll be the mokke or someone calling Yashiro on the phone”
“Then I’ll keep the mokke at bay and senpai can leave her phone here!”
“You'd do that kid?”
Kou-kun jolts her up off the ground and she sees he also got Hanako-kun by the wrist, he leads them to the door “Sure, I don’t like seeing you guys sulking” he gently pushes them out and closes the door behind them, letting them alone.
“You think it’ll work?” He asks.
She grabs his hand and smiles at him “Maybe!”
They go up to the rooftop, the setting sun on the horizon, and sit down where they usually have lunch, where all this started in the first place.
“You know” He squeezes her hand ,still on his, and smiles at her “I’ve never said this, and I probably should”
She’s about to ask what when his words make the butterflies on her stomach go absolutely ballistic.
“I’m in love with you” He looks back at her, eyes half closed, and she can’t do anything but completely and utterly melt, this is it ,he has said so, a boy has actually fallen for her, and it’s such a sweet boy at that.
He brushes their noses together, “Me too, I’m in love with you too”
They are centimeters apart, breaths intermingle, is this actually going to happen? Are they actually going to kiss? The thought makes the butterflies in her stomach happy.
Their lips brush and she can only hear the rapid beating of her heart, when she thinks this is the moment when they’re going to be interrupted again-
Their lips finally press together.
It 's happening.
It’s actually happening.
They are kissing.
She starts to move her lips against his and he does the same, she was right they are soft, they are so soft pressed against hers, they are also cold like she expected, but she doesn’t mind, she loves every second of it, she loves all of him.
She deepens the kiss and she hears him make a noise that just urges her, he has now his arms wrapped around her her own hands start exploring his hair, they knock his hat away.
It doesn’t feel like the explosion of fireworks described on the majority of her romance manga, it feels soft, it feels sweet, it feels cold, it feels like that glass of water after running a marathon, it feels like a ghost - the remainders of a boy who killed his own flesh, that shouldn’t be able to be here but claws to this shore- and a girl whose alive -but her time is running short, and she’s too. clawing to this shore- defy destiny and the laws of nature together, it feels impossible, but it’s possible and it’s happening.
And she doesn't do anything but indulge in it, to let him kiss her silly and then kiss him silly back, but unfortunately for her she needs to breathe.
They separate and it feels like torture, while she gasps for her breath back Hanako-kun doesn’t stop, he kisses her cheek, her temple, her forehead, the corner of her eye, her nose, the corner of her mouth, her jaw, her neck- she lets out a gasp, she just has discovered what kissing him feels like and she doesnt want to ever stop.
She kisses him right back, all over his face,cheek,temple,forehead,eyes,nose,jaw,neck- like she wanted to do all this time, like she has been dreaming about.
She kisses the corner of his lips, and then kisses him full on the mouth, she doesn’t stay there long tho, she separates from his lips and hears him make a needy sound, she loves that sound, she returns to his lips and gives him short kisses, one,two,three,four… she hears him giggle, she loves that too.
She kisses him once again but stays there kissing him nice and long, she has lost count of how many kisses they've shared already.
All her senses are full of him,Hanako-kun, Hanako-kun,Hanako-kun, how soft his hair is and how good it feels on her fingers, how his hands are running against her spine and her hair, surely messing it up.
He falls back to the floor and she follows him, lips not separating, the kiss is gentle now, slow, like they could be doing other things but they rather stay in each other's embrace, sweetly, slowly, kissing every centimeters of each other's lips.
“Hmm” She hears his content humm, and she loves him, “I love you” so she says it, says it against his mouth followed by a couple of pecks and then a deeper kiss, “I love you too” he says right back against her lips, she sighs.
This is all she ever wanted.