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It had been several hours since Roman, Karl and Laird were ushered out of their meeting with Eduard and shoved into a large room with dozens of other businessmen. At first all he could feel was confusion and fear at the thought that he might get shot or have his innards vacuumed, but then the novelty wore off and he began to feel bored.
He played a bit of 'Fuck, Marry, Kill' for a while but then Karl had his panic attack and Eduard came to update them on the deal situation, so the mood to continue playing died down. Although, if he's being really honest, his mood got killed when Laird said he wanted to fuck Gerri.
Like Laird could ever get Gerri. If she won't get with me there's no fucking way she'll go for a schmuck like Laird, right?
He grabbed two chairs together and lied across them, deciding to just get lost in his thoughts for a while and hope this ends in a way where he doesn't get chainsawed to bits or shot full of lead.
It was at that moment that he realised he's had this exact thought before. He's been in this exact situation before.
The ransom shit, did that really happen? Shit it did, how did I forget about that?
It all comes back to him in a flash
He was 15 years old and it was the end of the semester as the schools were breaking up for spring break. He was still relatively new to this boarding school as he had finally convinced his father to take him out of St Andrews, using the excuse that he wanted his education to revolve around business going forward, even though he really was sick of the constant black eyes he was nursing.
He was waiting outside the school gates that morning for his driver when a black car pulled up beside him. Roman took a step towards the car but stopped when the driver got out and stood by his door.
"You're not my driver, where's Mark?"
"Mark wasn't available today Mr Roy."
"Bullshit, it's not like I've been overworking him." Roman looked the car over, Is this even the usual car? He tried to lean over and look at the license plate when the driver blocked his view.
"I don't mean to hurry you Mr Roy but your father wants you home immediately, something's happened."
"Is it Kendall? Why am I only fuckin finding out now?" It wasn't that long ago since Kendall overdosed at college and the few times Roman has seen him recently, he hasn't looked okay.
"Please Mr Roy" the driver persisted.
"Fine I'm coming Jesus Christ" He passed the driver his bag and the driver opened the back door for him.
Roman climbed in and suddenly the door slammed shut behind him and there was another person in the back covering his mouth with some type of wet rag.
Roman writhed around the back seat, trying to resist and scramble away from his attacker, but his eyes grew heavy, his vision grew dark and Roman Roy was out like a light.
His head is pounding and fuzzy. He refuses to open his eyes cause even with them shut it's too bright.
This is definitely a different car why is the seat so fuckin hard? Did I fall asleep, am I nearly home yet?
Roman then realises he has to pee. He tries to instruct the driver to pull over at the nearest gas station or on the side of the road but it all comes out muffled.
He flaps his tongue around and realises there's a bit of cloth stuffed in his mouth and tied around his head.
What the fuck?
He tries to move his arms and legs to find that he couldn't. He opens his eyes and sees his legs tied to the legs of the wooden chair, not carseat, he's sitting on, and feels his arms bound together by scratchy rope behind him.
He whips his head around, the pounding in his head getting worse and sees that he's alone in a small dark cell of a room, illuminated under a naked lightbulb shining right in his eyes.
"mmph? Mmmph!" Roman tried to yell through his gag. He wriggled around in his chair, trying to get free. His heart was racing with fear. But it was useless, he was bound so tightly to the chair that it doesn't matter how many pushups and training he did at military school, he was not getting free.
He rolled his eyes in defeat and leant his head back.
Guess all I can do is sit here and fuckin wait and pray I don’t get chainsawed to bits.
Like clockwork, the door in front of him opened and two men dressed in all black entered the room with a black leather bag which they dropped onto the floor. One of the thugs Roman recognised as 'Mark's replacement', the other he assumed must have been the one who grabbed him in the car, which he was starting to remember a bit better now.
The thug who was the driver gave the other man a nod and the other man approached Roman and slipped down his gag so it was hanging around his neck.
Roman made a *puegh* noise. Okay don’t fuckin cry, don’t be a pussy, play it cool "Like fuck Mark isn't available today. Where am I?" Roman demanded.
"I apologise for all of this Mr Roy, it isn't personal just business"
Roman scoffed, "You kidnapped me, drugged me and tied me up, feels kinda personal dipshit"
The driver ignored him, "Your father is a very wealthy man and I'm sure he would pay a very generous fee to get his son back" he said with a smirk.
That smirk faded when Roman burst out into laughter.
"What what's so funny?"
"Hahahahaha! Ohmygod, fuck I'm- I'm sorry hahahahaha"
"What is it?" the driver demanded, growing annoyed.
"It's just- god I'm sorry dude you kid snatched the wrong one" Roman said, still giggling.
"We know you're Roman Roy son of Logan Roy, don't deny it" the second thug pipes up.
"Oh fuck you can talk! I thought you were one of those cliche mute minions you see in a James Bond movie. Damn I'm kinda taken out of the kidnapping immersion honestly. Anyways I'm not denying that I'm Roman Roy, you got your facts straight there, kudos to you. But that's your problem, you kidnapped me . My Dad doesn't give a fuck about me. Nah it's Kendall, lemme sound it out Ken-dall Roy you want. Yeah he's the golden child, the number one boy. He's the one that Dad's gonna give the company to and would actually notice is gone. Oh but there is also Shiv, the youngest, the only daughter? Logan's little sweetheart? God you guys fucked it. Out of all the Roy children you picked me! I gotta give you some credit though, at least you didn't pick Connor, now that would have been a total waste of time. But I will say that he would be so flattered if you kidnapped him, make him feel like he's worth kidnapping. And of course I'm flattered too but I dunno I think he needs it more than me."
"That's it shut him up," the driver ordered to the other thug, clearly having enough of Roman's jabbering.
"Oh come on, did I offend? I'm sowwy- hey c'mon- are you for- mmmph" Roman protested as he was gagged again.
The second thug moved away from Roman and grabbed a video camera from the bag. He turned it on and pressed record.
No fucking way, a ransom video, seriously? God this is so embarrasing can they just murder me now instead?
The driver stood behind Roman. Roman tried to move the chair away from the camera but it barely moved an inch.
"Mr Roy, we have your son and if you don't give us 50 million dollars in cash in the next 24 hours", he pulled a gun out of his inside pocket, grabbed Roman's hair from his scalp, pulling his head back and pressed the gun hard towards Roman's right temple, "we'll blow his fuckin brains out and send you the footage."
Roman whimpered and made muffled cries, he desperately tried to move his head away but the driver's grip was so tight, it hurt.
"I hope your pride doesn't get in the way Logan Roy, give us the money and your boy will remain unharmed." The driver threatened before signalling to the other thug to stop filming.
The other thug hit stop on the camera and the driver released Roman from his grip. He walked over to the bag and pulled out a laptop, clearly preparing to send the footage over.
"ss nah hnngna wor" Roman babbled.
"What?" The driver thug turned around confused.
"ss nah hnngna wor!" Roman babbled again, rolling his eyes.
The driver thug went over to him and yanked the gag out forcefully, making Roman cough.
"Well go on, talk" The driver thug prodded him.
"It's not gonna work, it's the Waystar Royco Shareholder meeting this week, he won't have time to check his ransom messages" Roman rolled his eyes.
"Well we'll just see about that won't we" The driver returned to the computer, uploaded the footage and embedded it into an email addressed to Logan's personal and work emails and after it had finished processing, he hit send.
"And now we wait" the driver gleefully said to the other thug. They grabbed the laptop and left Roman alone in the cell like room.
“I need the bathroom by the way!” Roman shouted as leant his head back and sighed.
He must have dozed off for a while cause the next thing Roman heard was muffled shouts of frustration coming from the other side of the door.
The two thugs burst in, the driver in particular seething.
"Lemme guess, the negotiations between you fuckos and my father are going swimmingly" Roman taunted.
"It's been 4 hours and so far no response!" The driver threw his hands up in the air.
"Yeah I was thinking actually before I had my little cat nap, you guys have no idea what you're doing do you?" Roman asked.
"Whad'you say to me you little shit?" The driver got close to Roman's face.
"Well let's talk through your master plan. You could have kidnapped any snot nosed rich kid from any old rich tycoon fuck and you know what? They might've caved and you and your boytoy would get your moneyz and fuck off. But you picked me, the son of arguably the most famous rich tycoon in America. Now I gotta say, love the ambition and the initial kidnap was very well done. I'd clap but y'know tied hands. But this has left you with two shitty options. Option 1? My Dad is so important and super busy that, like I said, he doesn't have time for pricks like you and once again you picked the wrong fuckin kid. So it will probably be 5-6 business months until he or one of his representatives gets back to you. Or Option 2?", Roman leaned forward so he was even closer to his captor's face, "You picked the guy who has the president in his pocket and so if he by chance sees your cutesy little hostage video, can order his guy to send a swat team, the national guard, the fuckin military who the fuck knows to your door and shoot you and your goon dead."
The driver backed away from Roman a little bit, clearly unnerved.
Roman carried on, "Yeah that's right back away buddy, you thought you were just a kidnapper but oh no noooo, now you're in the big leagues, you're chilling with the fuckin terrorists man."
The driver looks at the other thug, trying to see if Roman is bluffing.
"God I wish you guys could see the looks on your faces. Ooh get the camera out again and film it!" Roman grinned. "That's another thing actually, why the video? Why email it when you could have done a simple call? Never mind I get it, you wanted to show off that you caught a Roy and instead of posting the tape the ol snail mail way, you wanted quick satisfaction so ya emailed it, cause it's much easier to track down an email address than to ensure that the tape actually gets given to my Dad, gotcha! But honestly, rookie move guys, now my Dad's people can track your computer down, maybe that's what they're doing and they're actually on their way to kill you fucks instead of replying to you."
"They'll never find us, our IP address and email are untraceable!" the second thug was getting riled up.
"Hey you talked again! Good I was beginning to miss the sound of your voice. And wrong. My Dad has the best ratfuckers in the business. These guys are the worst, truly awful scumbags. You really think that Logan Roy's personal ratfuckers won't be able to crack your so called 'untraceable' laptop? That is too cute. And oh did you forget that my Dad has the president's dick in his hand? You really think you can go against the President's IT team? Just face it guys you're fuckin fucked" Roman started laughing again.
"Okay you know what screw this!" The driver said and pointed his gun right at Roman's head.
"Okay okay wait wait there's Option 3- Option 3!" Roman screeched, craning his head as far away from the gun as possible.
The driver reached over and pulled Roman's hair hard again making Roman face him, still pointing the gun between Roman's eyes.
"Op- Option 3 is- is" Roman stammered before clearing his throat and regaining his composure, "you make a deal with me, we negotiate a ransom that works for both of us and then you let me go, today."
The driver looked over at the second thug and burst into laughter.
"I'm being serious!" Roman protested but his kidnappers ignored him.
"I gotta say man, he's funny! Can we keep him?" the second thug chuckled.
"Delighted to know I'm a hoot" Roman retorted. "And you know you can't keep me, you keep me, you're dead. But let me pay you my ransom and you don't have to be."
"Alright pipsqueak, we'll hear ya out." The driver let go of Roman's hair and rejoined the other thug.
"My Dad maybe all rich and powerful but I'm fuckin rich too. Now I can't give you 50 million but considering your other options are get ignored and stay broke or get noticed and die. I can write you a check for 5 million right here right now and then we will go our separate ways and I won’t say anything. Consider it a thank you tip for taking me out on such a swell trip."
The thugs scoffed.
"I'm serious I will do this right now. Reach into my inside blazer pocket, my chequebook is right there."
The thugs faces grew serious again. They looked at each other, somewhat considering the offer that was being handed to them. The driver motioned towards Roman and the second thug approached Roman and reached inside the inside blazer pocket that he was wearing.
The second thug pulled out the chequebook and looked back at the driver, who had a look of uncertainty.
"Think about it guys," Roman began to pitch again, "I sign that, you still walk away 5 million dollars richer and I won’t have anyone come after you. Plus, you don't have to wait around and deal with me for god knows how long/get whacked by my Dad and the President. It's the literal deal of a lifetime."
The thugs leave the room without another word. Roman suddenly became aware of an awful smell, he started to sniff and looked down, his pants were wet. Oh that’s the fuckin icing on the cake.
SPLASH
Roman wakes up sputtering and drenched to see the second thug in his face with a now empty bucket of water.
"Wakey wakey you little shit" The driver said in a sing-songy voice.
Roman blinks rapidly, trying to get the water out of his eyes but tries to regain some professionalism. "Well I can assume you two have made a decision regarding the next steps of our deal?"
"We're gonna go for a little drive" The driver grinned maniacally.
The second thug unbound Roman's legs from the chair and re-bound his legs together. Once Roman was free from the chair, they hoisted him up and threw him onto the floor of the car, in between the seats. The second thug gagged him again which Roman tried to fight against. "So that you don't attract any unwanted ears with your screaming or rambling" the second thug taunted.
They drove for an hour or two before the driver stopped in front of a secluded ATM. The second thug pulls Roman up from the floor and flings him back against the backseat. He unties his hands but keeps a grip of his left hand.
The driver puts the chequebook on Roman's lap and passes him a pen. Roman looks down and sees the number 5,000,000 has already been written out and all that needs signing is his signature. The recipient name however, was still blank.
Roman looks up to see a gun in his face again so he quickly signs the cheque and drops the pen. The driver reached over and grabbed the chequebook, scribbling the recipient name down, whilst the second thug quickly bound Roman's hands back behind his back and shoved him onto the car floor again.
Roman made an mmmph noise as he thudded.
They waited for a few minutes whilst the driver cashed in the cheque and then they were on the move again.
He felt every bump the car drove over and every bump caused him to inadvertently groan, causing him to get kicked and whacked in the head by the second thug after he did it one too many times. They had their money now, they didn't care if they hurt him a little bit.
He regained consciousness when the car came to a final stop. Roman could hear countless horns blaring and could see the reflections of traffic lights in the car window above. He was back in New York. He was hoisted up onto the seat once again and the second thug quickly untied him and removed his gag. The second thug opened the door and pushed him out.
The driver, now dressed in his driver uniform again, opened the car boot and shoved Roman's luggage into Roman's chest.
"Pleasure, doing business with you Mr Roy."
"Pleasure is all mine dipshit" Roman replied wearily. He walked onto the sidewalk and the car whizzed away in the opposite direction, where conveniently the traffic wasnt held up.
Roman tried to look at the license plate, but his vision from his brand new concussion was hazy and he was just too tired. He thankfully was aware enough to recognise the area of the city where his kidnapper's dropped him off and an hour later at 11pm, he walked through the doors of his father's apartment.
"Hey Ro! You’re back!" It was Connor, who popped his head in from the living room.
"Oh yeah sorry if I worried you guys."
"Ay no worries kiddo, I'll call Dad and let him know you're home. What was it some school thing?"
So he was right after all, his father was too busy. No one cared or noticed.
Roman quickly came up with an excuse, "Um yeah it's this hazing thing they do to new kids before spring break so I'm a bit- bit tired."
"You do look a bit pale, you sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine Con, I'm just gonna head to bed"
"Sure Rome, Dad will be back in a couple days and I think Kenny and Shiv come back tomorrow"
"Great." Roman muttered as he headed up the stairs.
He was about to head to his room when he decided to make a B line to his Dad's study. He logged onto the desktop and pulled open Logan's personal and work email up, he had made it a mission to remember Dad's passwords, just in case. To his surprise the video didn't show up in either inbox.
Did someone delete it? Had he seen it? Did those fuckers even have the right addresses?
He searched through each email's trash and still no video. Then he clicked on the junk email section on both inboxes and there they were, the two emails containing the ransom video. His own son held hostage and it was so unimportant to even his Dad's email that he didn't even make it to 'Primary', he made it to 'Junk.'
He permanently deleted both emails and went straight to bed.
What a fuckin day, Roman thought to himself before falling asleep.
What a fuckin day, Roman thought to himself before fully returning to the present. He once again looks around at all the guards and guns and hopes that today he can save himself with another deal.