Chapter Text
ZERO
“Did’ya hear? Ken’s gonna get adopted!”
“Really? Who? When? When’s he leaving? Is it with someone nice?”
“I dunno, the matron—”
She sighs. Not even the leaves rustling above her head can drown them out.
She wishes the boys would go away. She wishes they would take their conversation somewhere else, because she doesn’t want to hear who’s getting adopted this time. She wishes that time would go faster.
Her head droops, her forehead resting on her drawn-up knees.
Zero families had looked at her. The office will close soon… and it’ll be another tally of nothing.
They’re going to have a going-away party for Ken. Everyone will hug him and say goodbye and when they go to their rooms, Ken will go with his new parents to his new home.
It’s not that she minds.
Not really.
It’s just… she wishes—
“Hey, hey, ya know what that means?”
“What?”
“His room’ll be free!”
“Hey, that’s right!”
It’s just that she wishes she didn’t get so disappointed every time someone got adopted.
And maybe she wishes she had a family to take her, too, but that’s kind of a pointless dream, isn’t it?
Besides… it’s not like anyone can replace Papa or Carol.
Her breath hitches and she has to blink away tears because no, she does not cry. She’s older now, and she’s by herself and she doesn’t really mind. The playground’s abuzz with the other kids talking about Ken leaving and there aren’t any adults interested in her—but that’s okay.
It’s okay.
“It’s okay,” she mumbles to herself as she leaves her tree.
She figures she can spend the rest of recess at the library—her system consists of the grounds of the orphanage now, and if she can’t change the other variables, she can at least change her own position.
Though Ken’s going to leave, someone else will come, and the system will go back to equilibrium.
Her thoughts, too, will return to equilibrium.