Work Text:
Dear Suguru,
We aren’t meant to be. Everyday, the distance between us grows and I fight like hell trying to get back to you, and you keep on drifting away. The farther you are, the more sure I am that we are, in fact, meant to be.
Here I am, writing a letter to you, trying to find all the right words so I can feel your presence, even if it’s just the ghost of it.
I often wonder if I’m the only one who feels this way. Am I the only one fighting? Are you trying as hard as I am? I have to believe you are, and I have to believe you love me back.
A part of me was taken with you the day you left, and I’ve been desperately searching for it but I realized something.
You never took anything away from me, because you are not a thief. You merely ran off with the wishes of a future I imagined with you. Can you believe that? My entire life was built around you being more than part of it, and now, I don’t know what to do with myself.
How long has it been? A week? A month? A year? I’m wracking my brain trying to stay here, but I haven’t been here since the day you left.
I have nobody, Suguru. I don’t trust anyone except you, and I’ve never felt more alone in my entire life.
You’ve cut off my wings, Suguru. You’ve blinded me completely, and the world is nothing but grey. The sun rises and falls, the seas stir and the moon commands it all, and I’m still waiting for you to come back. I never wanted to believe you’d leave me, until you turned your back on me and I was too frozen to do anything.
Suguru, did you know a lotus flower grows in mud? It’s in the worst kind of soil but it spends its entire existence trying to reach the bright, glowing sun, to grow and blossom into a beautiful flower. Am I naive to think that I’m your sun?
Come back, please. I’m pleading with you to come back, to me. I’m desperate to see your face again, to hear your voice, to feel your skin. You can’t be this cruel to me, please.
I can’t deal with another day being stuck wishing you’d turn that corner.
To hell to those who said we aren’t meant to be, we belong together. I’ve loved you since my first breathe, and I’ll love you until my last. Our story isn’t over, Suguru. I know we will meet again. I know I’ll get to look into your eyes and see the undeniable truth right there in front of me. You love me too. You love me because I’m Satoru Gojo. I am the only person alive to see you, the most raw and authentic you and I miss that.
I miss you. Everyday I feel your absence and I miss you. I don’t know how many ways I can say it before I start sounding more desperate than I already am.
Come back to me, Suguru.
Forever yours,
Satoru Gojo