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Summary:

O'Brien goofs.

No pairings in this one.

Notes:

This

 

lovely sketch by the awesome dziwaczka over on Tumblr inspired me to write this quick, silly little Final Fantasy AU with Garak and Bashir. Familiarity with the games is not required to understand the stories!

ETA: Well, it's now a series.
Here's a link to some more fabulous art by dziwaczka.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Paladin Sisko and his party stood in the middle of the road, cautiously eyeing the Fiends blocking their path.

“Those Firebomb Fiends are no joke, Benjamin,” Lady Jadzia cautioned. “Even if we were fresh on the field I’d be concerned. But we’ve been on the road for over a week now...”

Worf turned to face them both. “The next town is just beyond. We can survive one more battle.”

Paladin Sisko frowned. “I don’t think that we have much of a choice. We can’t go all the way back. Chief – I don’t suppose you’ve got a rabbit in your hat?”

“We’re pretty low on supplies, sir.” O’Brien said skeptically. “I might be able to put something together, but tell the truth, I’m not really sure there’s enough left -- ”

But Paladin Sisko was already drawing his sword. “Well, do your best.” He strode toward the Fiends. “Worf, Dax, Odo with me. Kira, Garak – cover O’Brien!”

Lord Bashir raised his hand as the others dashed past. “What about me?”

“Just do your job!” Sisko shouted back.

Bashir grumbled and took up a place beside O’Brien as the battle began.

Lady Jadzia enchanted her staff with ice and attacked with gusto. Worf and Sisko managed a few good blows, and with Odo’s skilled manipulation of a nearby water source they managed to douse one Firebomb. But it soon became very clear that they were all too tired to make a good showing against the Fiends.

Bow drawn and at the ready, Ranger Kira turned her head and shouted over her shoulder to O’Brien. “How’s it coming?”

“Damned useless Potions, Chocobo Feathers…” he was muttering. “Steel pipe, okay…maybe if I take this out of this old sword…here Garak, hold this Goblin Dust for me would ya…?”

Bashir threw a Cure spell at Worf and glanced down as the machinist dumped out the last of their supplies and picked through a pile of junk. “Miles –”

“I’m working on it!” he snarled.

Dax and Sisko barely dodged a tongue of flame from the largest Fiend. “O’Brien!” Sisko yelled. “Now would be a good time!”

“Alright!” O’Brien lifted his kludged masterpiece above his head. “Look out!”

He drew his arm back and threw his creation into the fray. It detonated at once, the shockwave knocking them off their feet as green noxious smoke billowed everywhere.

After a few stunned moments Kira staggered up, coughing and waving her hand in front of her face. “What was that?” She dashed forward with O’Brien and Bashir on her heels, Garak warily hanging back.

The smoke cleared. The Fiends were gone. So were their comrades.

Kira turned around. “Where – where are they?”

O’Brien paled. Bashir spun about in a circle, scanning the edges of the woods.

Garak cleared his throat, and the others whirled to face him. He calmly pointed to the ground.

Four toads were looking up at them with baleful glares. One was wearing a tiny suit of armor, another a little purple dress --

“Oh, Prophets,” Kira swore.

Garak ducked his head to hide a smirk.

Bashir glared at O’Brien, who shrugged sheepishly. “Sorry. Er – you can fix that, right?”

Notes:

Bashir’s a White Mage. Garak is a Dark/Fell Knight masquerading as a Thief. Jadzia’s a Blue Mage, Worf is a Monk, Kira’s a Ranger, Sisko’s a Paladin, Odo’s a Geomancer, and O’Brien is a Machinist.