Chapter Text
“Ok, here’s the plan.” Melissa says, throwing herself onto the soft grass and snapping her fingers to make the fire burn hot. “We’ll set off for Hollowbreach tomorrow, and meet Cavendish and Dakota in the forest on the outskirts.”
“Hollowbreach?” Zack repeats, stomach curling painfully as a worried frown falls over his face.
“Yeah, it… oh.” Milo says. “That’s where you grew up, right? Oh, Zack, I’m sorry. You don’t have to come.”
Melissa nods. “One of us will stay with you on the outskirts, and we’ll all meet up when we’re done.”
“No, that’s not… I wanna go.” Zack says. “I wanna come.”
“Ok, that’s fine.” Melissa says.
“And I…” Zack hesitates.
“What is it?” Milo gently presses him to continue, with a comforting smile. “If you need something, we’ll find a way to make it work.”
“I wanna go visit my parents.” Zack says.
Milo and Melissa exchange a look. Zack is still half convinced that they can actually talk this way, can have full conversations in a glance. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” Milo says carefully.
Zack deflates. “I know it’s probably not safe, I just really want to.”
“We can do it safely.” Milo says. Melissa elbows him roughly. “What, I’m not gonna lie! It’s feasible. I’m just not sure it’s a good idea.”
“Why not, if it’s not safety you’re worried about?” Zack asks hesitantly.
Milo sighs. “How likely are your parents to report us?” He asks.
“They won’t. They wouldn’t.” Zack says firmly. “They tried so hard to keep me hidden before.”
“When you followed the ‘rules’.” Melissa points out, voice laced with scepticism. “And we’re,” She gestures to herself and Milo, “not their son.”
“I know that they won’t. I know that’s hard to believe, but I promise that they won’t report us.” Zack says.
“And you’re absolutely sure you want to visit them?” Milo confirms, reaching out to touch his knee. When they connect, a tiny cut on his hand instantly closes up.
“And you’re prepared for… a less positive reaction than you’re hoping for?” Melissa adds, seeking to fight to keep her expression and tone neutral.
“I just want to see them.” Zack says quietly. “And show them that I’m ok, that I’m happy.”
“Ok.” Milo and Melissa exchange another look. Melissa looks less than happy, but doesn’t argue. “We’ll do it.”
“Besides,” Zack begins, with a mischievous little smile, “don’t you want to meet my parents? Bit of a rite of passage, right?”
Milo’s face flares to a brilliant red. Even as Zack’s cheeks heat in a way that can’t be explained away by the fire, he still giggles as he reaches for Milo’s hand.
Melissa claps her hands to extinguish the fire and surges to her feet. “You two make me sick.” She says, laughing. “I’m turning in, lovebirds. See ya in the morning.”
Once she is asleep, Milo turns back to Zack, his voice barely a murmur. “I don’t want to discourage you. I know how much you love your parents. I’m just… I’m worried about you. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I know.” Zack squeezes his hand. “But I know my parents love me.”
Milo’s lack of response, simply a squeeze of the hand, speaks volumes. But Zack doesn’t continue discussing it. He lays his head on Milo’s shoulder and shuts his eyes.
———
Zack takes a deep breath. He reaches out to knock on the door, but his hand freezes an inch from the wood.
He groans, slapping his head. “This is stupid. It’s my parent’s house, why do I feel so scared?” He has missed his parents, like a hole in his side. But now he is a mere inch from seeing them again, and he is frozen like a statue.
“Maybe because they’re awful?” Melissa has been tense since Zack said that he wanted to do this. This is the first time she has been so blatant, and it makes him spin around. “Oh, don’t give me that look. They-“
“They saved my life.” Zack interrupts her. “Refused to hand me over, even though it could’ve gotten them killed if they were caught.”
“And then they invited a pair of evil bastards into your house to abuse you.” Melissa folds her arms, protective anger burning in her eyes.
“I never told them what they were doing! Besides, what were they supposed to do, kick them out?” Zack glares at her. He knows what she means, he knows that her anger comes from care, but he can’t let her insult his parents.
“Guys, guys!” Milo comes between them, raising his hands. “Calm down. Don’t fight about this.”
Zack sighs, running his hand over his face. “I know. I’m sorry. I just… I really want to see them. I know what they did looks bad, but they’re not like you, and they’re not like your parents. They’re not rebels, they would never have broken a single law if I wasn’t born. Them not handing me over, loving me anyway… that’s rebellion, for them.”
Melissa raises her eyebrow. “You’re their son. They should’ve fought for you, not let those bastards hurt you.”
“Melissa, one of my classmates disappeared a few weeks before I found out that I’m a mage. I found out later that he was a mage, and his parents handed him over to be burned. That’s normal, that’s what parents do. They find out that their baby or child’s a mage, and they stop loving them.” He sighs. “They weren’t supposed to love me. They did anyway.”
Melissa’s frown doesn’t relax. “You don’t get bonus points for not being a monster.”
“Ok, guys.” Milo puts a hand on Melissa’s arm. “Melissa, give them a chance. Ok?”
“Fine.” Dozens of words seem to pass between Melissa and Milo, but finally she nods. “But if they try anything, they’re dead.”
“I know.” Zack says, even as he bristles. “But they won’t. They’re really good parents, Mel, you’ll see.”
“Ok, let’s do this.” Milo says, reaching for Zack’s hand and squeezing it, before releasing it. “And if you feel uncomfortable, if you need to leave, just signal.”
Zack takes a deep breath and knocks on the door. Once. Twice. The door opens before he manages a third.
“Zack?” His father looks down at him, eyes widening in shock.
“Hi, dad.” Why does he feel so meek? So small? He is a mage, a rebel, he has spent the last few months running around the country committing crimes and risking his life. So why does seeing his dad make him feel like a little kid again?
Like a little kid, trying to help his injured dad.
“Zack…” His dad reaches down. Touches his face lightly, as if he needs to check that he is real. His eyes look very shiny. “Zack, we thought you were killed…”
“I- we escaped.” Zack stumbles over the simple words.
His dad’s eyes are drawn to the two children behind Zack. Zack doesn’t see the glares that Melissa and Milo level at his father. Melissa tilts her head slightly to the side and flicks her finger, and a tiny flame lights up. She glowers menacingly, the threat clear.
His dad looks up at the sky, then back down. “I think you and your friends had better come in.”
Zack has been in some awkward situations before. This one might top the list. His parents sit at the table, hands clasped together. He sits in the other chair, the chair that he always sat in. He fidgets with his cloak.
Milo stands next to the door, prepared in case he has to defend them. Melissa leans against the wall, glaring like a bodyguard. Glaring so fiercely her eyes seem to burn.
And silence stretches between them, stretching and stretching until someone decides to break it. Zack decides that it should probably be him, all things considered. “I’m sorry. For leaving. I couldn’t come back, not after getting arrested.”
“Oh, Zack.” He doesn’t think he has ever seen that expression on his mother’s face before. Nothing so heartbroken. “You don’t need to apologise. You did what you had to.”
“I wanted to come see you.” Zack says quietly, looking away. “But I couldn’t. I really, really missed you.”
“We missed you so much.” His dad reaches across the table to take his hand. “Your brothers missed you too.”
“I missed them.” Zack smiles fondly, his eyes wet with tears. “I couldn’t even get word to you that I was alive.”
“That’s ok. It’s not your fault.” His mom reassures. “Zack, none of this is your fault. You’ve never done anything wrong.”
An awkward silence falls again. Zack looks away, nibbling at his lip. He hates feeling like this around his parents, but he can’t relax.
Milo and Melissa hanging around like his bodyguards isn’t exactly helping.
He feels a tighter squeeze on his hand. He looks up, to see tears flowing down his dad’s face. His chest is heaving. “Zack, I’m so, so sorry.”
“What for?” Zack blinks, squirming. He hasn’t seen his dad cry before, not like this. He looks so sad, so heartbroken.
“We failed you.” His mom sounds choked up. “We- we always knew that we weren’t very good parents to you. But when you… when you disappeared, we realised how much we failed you.”
“What? No, you were great parents. You saved me, you loved me.” Zack says, squeezing his dad’s hand. He can feel his own eyes burning with tears.
“We watched you becoming less and less happy every day. We watched you start to hate yourself, to be scared of yourself. And we let it happen.” His dad murmurs.
“You tried. You always loved me, you told me to love myself, but… there was no way it was ever gonna go in. Not when everyone around me was saying that I should hate myself.” Zack points out.
“We let those- those wicked bastards hurt you.” His mom spits. “Ah, pardon my language.” She adds sheepishly.
“It… that was to help me.” Zack breathes. He hears a furious intake from Melissa, sees Milo open his mouth to say something before shutting it. “It was horrible, but you… you had good intentions.”
“We never wanted them to hurt you.” His dad says. He sighs, closing his eyes. “We panicked when we realised what you were. We panicked, and we thought that they could help. When we realised how cruel they were, it was too late. We couldn’t have fired them, or they would have reported you.”
“We didn’t know exactly what they were doing to you, but we could guess. We tried to pretend to ourselves that we didn’t know, but we knew. We knew they were hurting you.” His mom exhales, wiping her face. “We felt like we had no choice, but that’s no excuse. We should have protected you from them. That was our job, and we failed you.”
Zack doesn’t realise that he is crying until his mom reaches across the table to wipe his face. “I… I always assumed that you knew exactly what they did. I thought that was what you wanted them to do.”
“Zack.” His dad holds his hand more firmly, looks him straight in the eye. “You didn’t deserve what they did to you. We would never, ever want anyone to hurt you. I promise, no matter what you are, we didn’t want anyone to hurt you. That was wrong. You never deserved that.”
You never deserved that.
Milo said it. Melissa said it. Dakota said it, Cavendish said it. Zack has been told it, over and over. He has been trying so hard to believe it.
But he didn’t realise how much he needed to hear his parents say that.
Tears are rolling down his face now, his entire body shaking, his chest heaving. He didn’t realise how much he needed it, how much he needed his parents to say that he didn’t deserve to be hurt, that the way his teachers treated him was wrong.
He stands up and reaches for them, and they scoop him up in a hug. They squeeze him tightly, rubbing his back, stroking his hair. They rock him back and forth, whispering reassurances. “You’re our son. We love you.”
He sobs violently. “‘m sorry. I’m a bad so-“
“No. No, Zack, no. You’re amazing. You’re so brave, you’re so kind, and we’re so proud of you. You’re our brilliant son, and we love you so, so much.”
He clings tighter to them.
While the family hugs, Milo and Melissa exchange a glance. “I think they’re ok.” Milo murmurs.
“I don’t trust them.” Melissa hisses back. She hesitates. “But… I do believe that they love Zack. I just can’t trust them.”
“I can’t trust them either.” Milo assures her, voice as quiet as a ghost. “They’re humans. And he’s so hurt.”
After a long time, the family pull back from each other. Zack wipes his face. “I needed that. I was trying to believe that I didn’t deserve it, but I… I needed you to say it.”
His dad cups his face in his hands. “We can say it as many times as you need.”
Zack smiles, leaning into the touch. Now, he feels like he can. When he was a child, he felt like he needed to reject the touch, the affection. Now he feels like he doesn’t have to. “Mom, dad, this is Melissa and Milo.”
“Hey.” Melissa raises a hand, still looking suspiciously at them. Her posture is that of a body guard.
“Hi!” Milo is more friendly, but still with an air of tension.
“Melissa’s my best friend.” Zack says affectionately. “And Milo is…” He trails.
“Ah.” His mom’s eyes widen with the realisation. Then she smiles. “It’s lovely to meet you both. Thank you for looking after our son.”
“Zack’s great.” Milo shakes her hand. “He’s saved our lives tons of times.”
“I’m glad that… that he had you two. That he’s so happy with you.” His dad says. Then he smiles at Milo, who reddens a little. “And I’m glad that he has you.”
Milo blushes, scratching the back of his neck. Melissa elbows him, laughing. Zack’s face is so hot that he is sure that Melissa set his blood on fire. Some of the tension in the room fades away.
They talk for a while. Milo and Melissa are stilted, awkward, tense. Zack knows that they aren’t exactly comfortable around humans- they have always known to be careful around humans, that humans can’t be trusted. And they especially don’t trust his parents, they probably never will. But they are trying to be friendly, for him. And he appreciates that.
His dad rubs his back. Suddenly, he stops. “Are you hurt?” He asks, frowning worriedly. “It feels like there’s something on your back. But I thought… well, I thought that you could heal yourself?”
“They’re old scars, from the iron.” Zack says casually. “I can’t heal iron burns, iron repels magic.”
He realises that his parents are staring at him, utterly horrified. “Iron burns? Was that Sally and Penelope?”
Zack winces, looking away. “Yeah. They used to hit me with the iron poker.” He admits. “Mostly on my back. My back looks pretty awful, it’s covered in scars.”
“Oh, Zack…” His mom covers her mouth with her hand, eyes watering.
“Can we see?” His dad asks gently. Zack nods, but when his dad goes to lift his shirt he winces. “Zack?”
“I don’t like people touching my back, or looking at it.” He admits. “But you can. I trust you.”
Cold air hits his back, and his dad inhales sharply. “Oh, baby. I’m so sorry.”
“You didn’t do it.” He murmurs. “And it… well, it doesn’t hurt as much. Just aches sometimes, or if it gets hit or scratched.”
His mom hugs him tightly. “I’m so, so sorry.” She whispers. “We should have protected you. We should have gotten you away, kept you safe. And we failed you.”
Zack hugs her back, burying his face in her shoulder. “I’m ok now.”
“You shouldn’t have had to go through that.” She strokes his hair. “You should never have had to go through that.”
He pulls away, wiping his face. “I… I know.” He says. “But I’m ok. I-“
He is cut off by a small voice behind him. “Zack?”