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Utahime was not sure when it started.
It was weird that she was the motherly figure in the group, whether she was with her friends or with her students, but she couldn't recall if she ever considered herself caring in a romantic way.
She was a human too and yes, attraction and infatuation were never an alien concept but when it came to her feelings, it was a complicated topic after all.
Being a sorcerer had its disadvantages. Some of it involved the sister school in Tokyo and that also meant seeing an idiot.
An overly excited adult, a student once said.
The idiot sensei was annoying. Just the mere thought of her name coming from his mouth, blurting " Utahime!", could bring goosebumps all over her body. It was infuriating and Utahime couldn't get a hold of it.
Even years ago, when he rushed just to brag that he came to save her then teasing, "You cryin'?", Utahime couldn't understand how she managed to deal with the strongest one.
The idiot, Gojo Satoru, ranked number one in Utahime's fuck off list.
Gojo had so much energy in his body that he couldn't stay in one place and shut his freaking mouth even just for a second. He always had something to argue back even at the most nonsense conversation. Annoying was probably an understatement but she couldn't find a better word. She just knew that idiot and annoying fit him.
None of it was a positive feeling and maybe it was a relief that she was not the only one who could feel the same way about the hyper sensei. Utahime knew how to handle things, a good management skill if she would brag, but once Gojo entered the room and his excited pitch echoed, it was the end for Iori Utahime.
Gojo was the one wearing blindfold but how it happened that Utahime suddenly became blind? Out of focus?
It was a realization that something inside her was disturbed. She was focused. Patient. But when it came to Gojo Satoru, she couldn't help but feel the tingling of nerves as if a lava would burst out from her.
She never thought of greeting him first even a simple good morning or hello but somehow, she got used to the idea of Gojo yelling excitedly or muttering a teasing remark with an annoying smirk written on his face.
It was a lot to take in and she could just find herself lying in bed while staring at the ceiling as if the white space could answer all her questions. She played with her phone by rolling it against her fingers and in the next second, she was already staring at his name on Recents. Was it weird to talk to someone you loathe so often? Utahime couldn't answer. Her excuse, it was just all about Jujutsu and their students.
Nothing more.
She almost jumped when her phone blinked and vibrated, Gojo Satoru showing on her screen. But it was just a brief one. He didn't even give her a chance to contemplate whether to answer or not. It was way beyond midnight anyway and only someone like him had the guts to mess with her sleeping cycle.
Idiot.
Utahime bit her bottom lip as she stared at the missed call, unsure if she wanted to call back or ignore him completely. There was a thump when a message showed up but she was too fast to compose herself, knitting her eyebrows was the immediate action.
"Utahime...", the message started followed by a puppy-eyed emoji. "I figured that you're already sleeping. You're going to be mad at me again if I insist."
You're so right, she answered in her mind. She didn't have plans to reply and for sure, he was not expecting one either but then, the sight of his pouting lips and expressive ocean eyes that could hide the true emotion was difficult to ignore so she responded, "Good night, Gojo".
Her eyebrows furrowed at the realization of hiding her phone immediately and staring back at the ceiling after sending the message. There was a weird feeling that... maybe... she wanted to talk to him?
That was a ridiculous idea for Utahime. Who would want to talk to an annoying man like him? It just didn't suit her. Liking someone was not in her books. Liking Gojo, just to be specific, was not in her books. But why did she smile when she read something like, "Good night, Utahime", with a bunch of emojis?
She must be crazy. Real crazy.
When did it happen? Utahime just had to ask. All she knew, she didn't need to answer. She didn't care. Even though he smiled in her direction and waved. To her. Gojo Satoru smiled and waved at her. Of all people, he chose to annoy her and only her.
What a real idiot.
Of course...
It wouldn't change anything. Of course, it wouldn't. The endless thoughts in her peaceful dreaming would never end but she was certain that Gojo Satoru was definitely not a prince charming. And no, she never wished for him to be one. Never.
Minutes felt like hours. She even drowned herself in coffee and tea. Beer sounded so heavenly, a personal favorite, and she just had to chuckle at the thought of Gojo Satoru being a lightweight. She loved beer. Not sweets. Then why she had to keep a piece or two of kikufuku? The zenda and cream ones. It was for her, of course. For her...
She hummed happily at the taste of one despite not enjoying sweets. It was not for everyone to see as she tried the kikufuku in secret since she didn't want to be seen with something that could be associated with Gojo Satoru. And despite not trying it often, she remained keeping one in her pocket...
Just in case.
Utahime didn't want to get noticed. She didn't want to pay attention. She kept on reminding herself that the things in her mind were not the ones she should get used to. It was a waste of breath. An illogical thinking. Worst case scenario, fate would be tempting and playful, pulling both ends of the string to tie it together.
But anyway, she tried not to pay attention.
She even prepared coffee for everyone but a certain cup had five cubes of sugar. She ignored how someone hummed excitedly when she placed a bowl full of sweets on the table. Again, it was weird how her heart thumped just because an idiot was happy.
The feeling was like an infection. She wanted to get rid of it so bad. It was confusing how she felt happy when one was happy and how her heart crumbled whenever there was a huge boulder on one's shoulders.
Especially for that one person.
Utahime wasn't sure if it was something she wanted. Surprisingly, it felt good. Annoying but good. It was like an escape. Like the only light in the dark tunnel. None of it was perfect, but that was what made it perfect.
She knew she was smart but at the moment, she could tell that she was an idiot too. She tried to deny but the feeling was too strong that it infuriated her. She somehow understood how a smile could become a sunshine.
But none of it was friendly.
The feelings were not... good.
And she needed to pinch herself when he walked into the room.
Maybe it was arrhythmia. Or a rare disease involving the heartstrings.
"Utahime!"
There he was again, grinning and waving.
It was just yesterday that she was certain she had negative feelings for him.
But some things wouldn't go as planned, right?
She realized it later than sooner.
"Utahime..."
Like a sulking child, Gojo sat beside her. Despite the blindfold, she knew that he was looking at her but she ignored him. He smirked and fixed the way he was sitting. She was always like that and he knew very well what to expect.
She was Iori Utahime after all.
They were just in the room in silence but they both knew that it was the haven they were seeking. The silence in a crazy world. That even for a brief moment, they could just be normal people with no curses to exorcise.
Maybe she liked it. The weird thing even intensified when he was not around, and she knew that her heart would shatter if anything bad happened to him. If ever he got sealed or something, for example. Or lost the upper hand in a decisive battle.
Utahime didn't want to think about that. It was like a hole devouring her chest.
"Utahime..." he mumbled again as if giving him her sole attention would save his life.
She hummed in return, glancing at him.
"I heard the students debating..."
"What about it?" she asked.
"They were talking if love at first sight is real."
Utahime chuckled immediately. She even covered her mouth, surprised at the topic he just started. Gojo groaned at her reaction.
"Sorry. Didn't expect you to say that."
"So..." he whispered and adjusted his blindfold to show his right eye. For whatever reason, that curious blue orb staring at her awakened her soul. "Do you believe in something like that?"
"Something like that?" she hummed and broke the eye connection. She played with her fingers before she looked at him and answered, "Maybe it's real?"
"Maybe?" he asked. "That?"
"Yeah. Maybe." She nodded. "But second is better."
"What do you mean by second? Second sight? Late realization, you say? Utahime..."
Utahime was not fond of smiling when he was around but at the moment, she couldn't help but chuckle at his confused reaction.
Maybe, love at first sight was real.
Or maybe not.
But for Utahime, all her eyes suddenly opened.
Sober.
But out of focus.
And when Gojo Satoru walked in, Utahime realized that it was possible to understand certain feelings—especially the weird and negative ones—at second sight.
At second sight.