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Who Exactly Are You?

Summary:

"Gwanda is not really Gwanda—" ¿¡Qué!? "—her name is actually Gwen."

That cardigan leaving, sweater stealing, Spider-Ballerina, Emo-that-made-Miles’-eyes-light-up wasn’t even called Gwanda, but Gwen. What else does she not know about esta muchacha?

"Gwen, huh?" Rio bares her teeth and squints her eyes in the bleak attempt of a smile. "We need to have a talk."

Notes:

Oh my goodness I’m so excited about this! This is my first fic exchange and I’m so happy that I was able to do this. I love the way this turned out, and I hope you do too!

 

So you don’t have to open a translator, I’ve put all the words here in the order that they show up in, so take a picture or write it down and have fun reading!

Spanish Glossary:
Bebé - baby
Mofongo - a Puerto Rican dish made by smashing fried plantains with salt, garlic, broth, and olive oil (nice and crunchy)
Y - and (pronounced ee like see)
Huevos fritos - fried eggs
Te amo - I love you
Nene - little boy (puerto rican slang)
Hombrecito - little man
No sé qué voy a hacer - I don’t know what I’m going to do
Ven a comer - come (and/to) eat (the ‘and/to’ doesn't necessarily need to be there, but that’s how my brain processes it)
Pelusa - fuzzies/lint
Tostones - a Caribbean classic—at least in my opinion—double fried, sliced, and flattened plantains (cause it’s so versatile) with salt thrown over it
Qué - what
Esta muchacha - this girl

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

He was born to do great things: Rio had known ever since that first moment she held him—soft, heavy, and fragile—in her protective arms, staring into his big brown eyes. He looked around with extraordinary awareness, tracking each movement with an intense focus. One small, curious hand curled around her finger. It filled her with something indescribable. A warm weight that was paradoxical, both tethering her to the ground and lifting her into the clouds. Her bebé, small and round, will no doubt go miles and miles further than anyone could imagine possible. This image of him going places was so clear in her mind that it’s no wonder when a nurse gave Jefferson the paperwork, she told him to write "Miles".

***

   Rio shakes her head with an amused puff as Miles rushes through the apartment, haphazardly throwing on his uniform and stuffing his face with mofongo y huevos fritos. He stumbles into familiar walls while slipping his shoes on standing—tossing his bag, a kiss, and a quick "te amo" over his shoulder—before rushing out the door. It’s bittersweet watching him leave every other weekend. Knowing her nene is going out into the world, becoming an hombrecito. She won’t always be there to protect him, and that thought comes with complicated feelings to sift through.

    "No sé qué voy a hacer." She leans on Jefferson. They have had these discussions before, seeing him grow up so fast—too fast—with nothing they can do other than tell him they’re here for him. But lately, those conversations have become commonplace.

    "Me either." Jefferson pulls her into his side, rubbing a comforting thumb along her shoulder.

***

    Those feelings become more convoluted after a few phone calls from the school, a parent-teacher conference about Miles’ future (which he was conveniently late for and promptly left early from), and him being late to his father’s congratulatory party. 

    "Miles, ven a comer!" Rio projects as she walks into the apartment, "Even if you’re grounded, you still need to eat dinner!"

    The apartment is quiet: no shifting sheets or dragging feet; no aggressive pen scratching paper, or clattering markers, or absent-minded humming to muffled music; no response to her call. Nothing at all. The air is still, only moving with her footsteps. "Miles?"

    She opens his door, expecting to find him lying on his bed with his headphones in, but he’s not there. Instead, she finds an old and faded cardigan with mismatched patchwork. It’s filled with pelusa and frayed edges from all the (literal) wear and tear.

    The counselor’s words permeate her mind and out into the silent air of the apartment as she picks up the cardigan. "Your son. He’s lying, and I think you know it."

    Rio rejoins the party, supposably empty-handed, but the cardigan resting on her arm begs to differ.

***

    In three days, Rio has become privy to many things. Her son has been putting himself in constant danger for the past year and four months, swinging around Brooklyn as the new Spider-Man. He has traveled miles further than she could imagine—and she’s tried until her brain sizzled like tostones—while simultaneously being in the same place. And his many friends that "left town" in reality left the universe, including the mysterious Gwanda.

    During the first two days, Rio met Gwanda three times. First at the congratulatory party, then when she lost her son, and most recently when she brought him back and fought many Spider-People with the friends that "left town" and the new friends he made out of town so-to-speak.

    Today is day three, and the surprises don’t end: "Gwanda is not really Gwanda—" ¿¡Qué!? "—her name is actually Gwen."

    That cardigan leaving, sweater stealing, Spider-Ballerina, Emo-that-made-Miles’-eyes-light-up wasn’t even called Gwanda, but Gwen. What else does she not know about esta muchacha?

    "Gwen, huh?" Rio bares her teeth and squints her eyes in the bleak attempt of a smile. "We need to have a talk."

***

    Gwen is undoubtedly fucked if the look Rio gave her was anything to go by. Though maybe she isn’t, right? While Rio’s smile looks very sharp, and a jaw can clench with a force of at least fifty-seven pounds, maybe that's just how she smiles. After all, her own smiles are pretty wobbly, with her lips stretching up in awkward angles.

    But looking at Miles—whose eyes switched between her and Rio—give her a cringing smile before turning back to his mother and speaking in hushed tones made her senses go haywire.

    This chaotic feeling is one she has become well acquainted with—like when every atom in her body phased in and out of universe, being pulled apart towards the multiverse and back together to the current one, and was tossed a week back into a different dimension; or when she had the bone-chilling realization that Miles was in the wrong dimension, not including the blaring sirens warning of an impact that must have been for him, don't ask her how she knew, she just knew; or when her father could finally back "Spider-Woman" into a corner, the pistol’s glare pointed straight at her even after she revealed herself to him, and the absurdly comical image of him washed in blue and red as he chose his duty to the public over her again—and hits her harder than a train (which shouldn’t be taken lightly, since she has been hit by a train; a canon event if you will).

    All this to say, she wants to web-sling herself out of Rio’s sight.

    Gwen follows Rio up the stairs to the roof of the building. It’s bright out and warmer than usual, so it’s no wonder her palms are sweaty and her weak knees shakily hold her upright like an old easel with rusty screws holds up a large canvas.

    "So, Gwen, when and how did you meet Miles?"

    Okay, maybe it won’t be so bad for her if Rio is starting like this. Or this might be the informal questioning before getting to what Rio really wants to ask her. "Last year at school. I was in his science class, and we kind of kept bumping into each other."

    "What do you like to do?"

    "I like playing in bands." Especially if it’s one that she starts. "I’m a drummer."

    "Who exactly are you?" 

    "Well, I’m Gwen Stacy." Rio looks expectant, and Gwen’s ribs rattle as she takes a shaky breath. Should she even say the next part? Flashes of red and blue glinting on metal and familiar wide eyes come to the forefront of her mind, and she forcefully pulls it back with a blink that’s more of a cringe. Lying is what got her here in the first place, and maybe this time telling the truth won’t end badly. There’s a first time for everything. So she steels herself with another shaky breath, careful footing, and a straighter posture. "At least, that’s who I am to everyone when I’m not Spider-Woman."

    With each quiet second that passes after her admission Gwen shrivels in on herself a little more. Her shoulders hunch forward and her arms cross in front of her as she sees the cogs turn behind Rio’s eyes. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Maybe this will inevitably be just like last time. It definitely feels that way with how her body aches; with the thick, heavy, empty pit growing in her torso; and with the fact that there really is nowhere to go without her web shooters or her bootleg watch. All that’s left is for Rio to call Jeff upstairs, for him to charge her with trespassing on both their apartment and their universe, and for her to be sent atom by atom back to her own universe. She doesn’t notice the trembling until Rio places a hand on her elbow.

    "Sorry," Rio sighs. "I didn’t mean to intimidate you. It’s just—I can’t help but be protective of him. When he was born, he was so small—holding onto my fingers with his tiny hands—and then I blink, and suddenly he’s taller than me, and he’s eager to grow up and go out into the world.

    "And I can understand that. I was the same way at his age, but even as he grows, he will always be my baby. He will always be my son. And I will always try to look out for him, but I know that I’m not going to be able to do that all the time, so the least I can do is support him and his decisions as best as I can.

    "I can tell Miles cares about you a lot, enough to throw himself into another reality when he’s never even left Manhattan. And I know that you care about him too. I trust him, and because of that I’m trusting you, but I hope that soon I can grow to trust you based entirely on you as a person and not just through him."

    The weight rises off of Gwen like steam rises off of May’s freshly baked bread, and she’s inexplicably warm too.

    "Okay, enough of this; come on!" Rio ends the serious conversation with a clap of her hands and an inviting smile on her face. She puts an arm around Gwen’s shoulders, pulling her into her side with a chuckle. "The food’s going to burn if we stay here any longer."

    "Oh." Rio’s arm slips off of Gwen’s shoulders and gives her arm a gentle squeeze. "And thank you."

    It was kind of odd being thanked. It wasn’t something that happened all that often to her or her alter-ego. And even odder was not knowing why. "For what?"

    Rio's face softens. "For finding Miles and bringing him home."

Notes:

Horay! You made it to the end of the fic! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I loved making it. I’m so happy I got to do this, so thank you so much <3!

 

Some—actually a lot of—little fun things I’m proud of and would like to share:

Supposably - yes I purposely misspelled supposedly, it’s kinda an inside joke—at least where I’m from—in the Hispanic community (I mean there’s even stickers for it) + it’s become so normalized that it even has its own place on Dictionary.com

I feel like Rio is a mama bear trying to protect her cub. But her cub is a bird that just wants to “spread his wings man”. And sure he stumbles at times (like when he’s leaving the nest—I mean his home), but he’s growing up and he’s growing up quick. Also Rio’s mama bear really comes out with Gwen, her teeth baring at her.

The Miles intro and tying his name with what he’s been doing: traveling miles and miles away. I think it’s fun doing things like that, and I feel like it gives more dimension (haha) to Rio and Miles. I also just think it’s cool~

Rio and her Spanglish, while she disses Miles for it, she is an absolute master of it. I loved having it here because I love seeing Spanish in fics. I go absolutely insane for it. I remember the first time it happened: it was a Marvel fic (The Phaser | Bucky Barnes by Harper on Quotev) that included an older Spanish couple (OCs) and the wife called the husband “cariño” (a term of endearment) so simply/ nonchalantly. It was their normal, and I was fangirling so hard I had to put down my phone and rant to the four walls of my room about how happy it made me and how much I loved it. I hope that I was able to give this feeling to someone else as well.

- Side-note: for personal reasons, I needed Rio to say “ven a comer”.

When I reread what I wrote, I wonder if I made it too complicated (me staring at the 157 word sentence that looks like it belongs in 1800s fiction—), but then again I’m happy with it soooo yeah!

I feel like Gwen is kinda awkward, like she is so smart but social cues are not her thing. And that she’s the type to have inside jokes for herself while also finding the worst situations comical in the oddest sense of the word (and as much as I want to say ‘ironic’ it’s technically not that— TT-TT Alanis Morissete has gifted me with a catchy song but cursed me with the wrong word). I literally searched up “funny in an odd way”, and then “coping with humor”, and then ended up finding this in an article “Humor also may function as an adaptive ego defense by enabling people to perceive the comical absurdity in highly challenging situations. In this respect, humor serves as both a defense mechanism and a way of coping with adversity.” Which felt like the perfect way to describe her humor (or at least how I feel her humor is), so that’s how “absurdly comical” came to be.

- Side-note: while I was first writing Gwen’s section, dodie’s song “don’t quite belong” was stuck in my head, and it kinda fits my vibe for her if you want to listen.

In that same section, I also said that her father is “washed” in the police colors because it’s a watercolor term and Gwen’s world is watercolor based (so pretty!!). I was super tempted to say that his portrait was washed in those colors, but I felt like it didn’t make as much sense as the word image in that context (cause I could use it to mean both how he literally looks and how others perceive him).

Spider-People and trains, a match made in canon events~ Tobey Maguire's Spider-Man stopped one (in SM2), Tom Holland's Spider-Man got hit by one (in FFH), Miles narrowly avoided one (in ITSV) and got smashed into another (in ATSV), and I’d like to think that Andrew Garfield’s Spider-Man has had some type of run-in with a train—oh wait—not exactly what I was going for, but technically he did when he first got his powers (he made a bit of a scene on a train in TAS), so of course Gwen must have had one too (a canon event)!

There’s also a few quotes and call-backs to ITSV and ATSV.

The word count for the fic was going to be 1,610 (not purposefully it just happened) and it was super cool because Mile’s universe is 1610, but I wanted to add a few more things for both personal reasons and flow so now it's longer~

(PS Spider-People need hugs, so I drew the side hug scene)

O-O I didn’t mean for the notes to become so long— TT-TT but thanks for tagging along if you did!

 

I hope you’ve had (and will continue to have) a wonderful time! Goodbye <3