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She doesn't question why Lucas knows this and just makes her way down to the hot tub. Quickly before she loses her nerves. These past couple of months left her confused and torn, but they also opened her eyes to what is possible. And if Lucas is right, she wants to know.
She's close enough now that she can hear him speaking to someone. He's obviously not alone. She stops to debate whether she should go out now or try to talk to him in the morning instead when the other person speaks and she recognizes their voice. Genevieve!
Suddenly, her chest tightens and she's finding it hard to breath. Lucas was not right. How could she be so stupid to believe otherwise? Of course it's Gen. It's always been Gen. In a choice between her and Gen, he will always choose Gen. Peter never lied to her about that. She was naive to think that there was ever a chance that the star athlete, the most handsome of all the handsome boys in school, might really be interested in the invisible girl who spends her time baking and watching Golden Girls marathons with her eleven year old sister. He was walking around their school holding her hand for one purpose, and now she knows that she has outlived it. The remembered words he said to her the very first time he walked with her into the cafeteria and handed her a note echo all around her as if spoken over a loudspeaker: "Good job." She sure did a good job, and now it's over.
She's about to turn around and walk away with tears in her eyes, wanting nothing more than to be in her own home, in her own bed lying under her own covers, so no one can see her cry herself to sleep. But something filters through all the noise and the buzzing in her head to reach her ears. Her name! They are talking about her.
She stops in her tracks, then goes back to stand right on the other side of the door leading out to the hot tub to listen.
"Really?! Lara Jean Covey?" Gen is saying.
"Why do you say her name like it's an insult?" Peter actually sounds upset.
"Because it's beneath you! Having a pet project like that."
"A pet project?"
"Yeah, a pet project," the eye roll is unmistakable in her tone, "where the hot, popular guy pretends to date the nerd and gets her do a makeover for a bet or a laugh or whatever. It doesn't suit you."
Peter laughs out loud. "No one in their right mind would think Lara Jean needs a makeover."
Gen scuffs. "I don't get it! What on earth do you even see in her?"
"Wanna list?"
"She's lame, weird and not even pretty!"
"She's none of those things! She's smart, and kind, and down right brave." Very softly that Lara Jean has to strain her ears to hear it, he adds as if to himself, "I like talking to her."
"Talking??!! Since when do you want to talk? The Peter Kavinsky I know is all about... the physical." Lara Jean doesn't need to see her smirk to know it's there.
A twinge of righteousness twists her insides. She's well aware of Peter's reputation but he never gave her the impression that that has ever been his primary objective. On the contrary, he strikes her as someone who values true connection in his relationships. Shouldn't his real girlfriend have known that??
"Yeah," Peter snorts in response, "I wonder why that is!"
"What does that suppose to mean?"
He sighs and it sounds tired. "Nothing. It doesn't mean anything." There seems to be a halt in the conversation here, but then Peter asks, "How did you know I was here?"
"Oh please! You always come here right before curfew to have a moment alone."
"So you decided to crash this one-man party because...?"
"Because I missed you." Her voice goes soft and tender. "I missed us having a good time together."
Lara Jean hears more splashes of water and she dares to peek a little. She sees Gen getting close to Peter and trying to throw her arms around his neck.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing?" Peter extracts himself and moves to the other side of the tub.
Lara Jean pulls her head back immediately to avoid being spotted but strains her ears extra hard. She doesn't want to miss a word.
"What am I doing? What are you doing? Do you realize that we've been in here all alone for over 20 minutes and still haven't made out yet?"
"I have a girlfriend!" Peter is both surprised and offended... and did he just push Gen away and call Lara Jean his girlfriend?? Why?
Gen snorts loudly. "Oh yeah? Is it the same girlfriend who wouldn't even sit with you on the buss?" Her tone is mocking and Lara Jean can imagine the sneer that goes along with it.
She ventures another quick peek in time to see Peter's face contort. He looks hurt.
"She had her reasons," he mumbles eventually, uncertainty fills his voice.
"Reasons, ha? And I thought she was too 'kind' to dump you before we even got here!"
"She did not dump me!"
"Then where has she been all day? Why have you been skiing all alone? Why didn't you have a single meal together? And why are you here with me instead of spending the night with her? Don't pretend you don't know why couples come to this ski trip! Flash news: It's not to ski!!"
Peter doesn't even skip a beat. "What Lara Jean and I do or don't do together is none of your business! But you are right about one thing. There's absolutely no reason for me to stay here!"
This sharp declaration is followed by the sound of water moving and a heavy body getting out of the hot tub. Gen keeps talking but Lara Jean isn't listening anymore. What she has heard from Peter is enough to make her head spin and she really needs to take a minute to process.
She has tucked herself in the corner that Peter practically shoots pass her without even seeing her. She tries to call his name but her voice gets stuck in her throat. She sets after him, but he's got a head start and way longer legs than hers so it only takes few turns before she completely loses sight of him.
Suddenly, she's alone in the middle of a corridor, not knowing what to do. She starts walking aimlessly until she notices the time. Ten minutes to curfew. Damn it! Whatever she wants to say to Peter will have to wait until the morning. Right now, she needs to find her way back to her room. Quickly!
When she rounds the corner closest to room 209, she's surprised to see Peter standing right in front of it. He must have went to his room to change first because the bathrobe and swim trunks are gone and are replaced with a pair of jeans and a plain white T-shirt.
He knocks and says quietly, "Lara Jean, it's me. Can we talk?"
Her heart doubles its speed and her mouth feels dry. She takes three seconds to let the panic fill her, but then she gathers her courage and steps forward.
"Peter!"
He turns around in surprise. "Lara Jean?! It's almost curfew! What are you doing out?!"
"I could ask you the same question." Immediately after she says this, she shakes her head. "No, I don't need to. I... I went looking for you."
"You did?!" His surprise is getting bigger.
Lara Jean nods.
"I was... umm..."
"In the hot tub. I know." She shrugs apologetically, "I found you."
"Oh..." His forehead knits in a worried expression. "Did you... aaaa..."
Lara Jean takes a deep breath then, making up her mind, she says calmly, "I heard what you and Gen were saying. You actually walked right pass me."
Peter seems to have lost his ability to speak, but Lara Jean is finding it easier for once.
"I guess we do need to talk, ha?" she says.
"Umm... yeah. Yeah, of course... Umm, do you wanna go somewhere or..."
She looks around. When she sees that the place is deserted except for them, she leans her back against the wall and slides down to the floor, the invitation is implicit.
He follows her lead.
"So... how much exactly did you hear?"
"All of it."
"Oh."
He flushes a little and they both look away from each other, not really knowing how to proceed.
"Do you really think I'm brave?" She says suddenly.
Peter chuckles and Lara Jean frowns. "You don't have to laugh at me!"
"I'm not laughing at you. It just still amazes me that you don't see it." He turns sideways to look at her fully. "Lara Jean, you wrote love letters and they got out! Yet not once did it occur to you to deny writing them or pretend they were a prank, which is probably what I would've done if they were my letters. You made me sign a contract not to kiss you and didn't even flinch when you said you wanted your firsts to be real. You knew what you wanted and didn't let yourself be intimidated or shamed into giving it up. That's pretty damn impressive." His voice then gets softer and his eyes become like liquid honey. "And now. I know you're scared, Covey. I know you threw Chris into the mix because you needed some kind of shield but here you are, sitting here on the floor of a deserted corridor trying to confront your feelings. If that's not brave, I don't know what is."
Lara Jean looks away, biting down a smile. She has never thought of herself in those terms but she can't deny the sense of gratification she gets, not least because Peter is the one saying those things about her.
"I umm," Lara Jean starts after a while, eyes focusing on her fingers playing with a jacket button, "I don't really have anyone to talk to about mom. Margot thinks it's pointless, Kitty doesn't remember her. For dad it's too painful and Chris is... Chris. She would just try to cheer me up."
Peter is looking at her intently, recognizing another attempt to get out of her comfort zone. "People try to cheer you up because they don't get it."
She shoots him a glance full of gratitude. "What I'm trying to say is that... I like talking to you too. It feels nice and comforting."
"Thank you. It feels nice and comforting for me too."
"Well... Gen seemed to think that that's not important to you?"
Peter tries to answer but clearly isn't sure how. Lara Jean waits patiently, letting him take his time trying to figure out what he wants to say.
"I think it's more that I didn't know it was. For the longest time, I just did what was expected of me. Or of someone like me. I never stopped to think why or how else it could be. I think I know better now."
"Are you upset that I didn't sit with you on the buss?"
Peter sighs and drops his head back against the wall and it makes a thud. "Why didn't you sit with me on the bus?" There's no heat behind it though. Just a question.
"I thought you wanted to sit with Gen. I thought I was doing you a favor."
He glares at her now, disbelief is written all over his face. "You know for someone who has such good grades, you can be so dense sometimes!"
"What?"
"I wanted to sit next to you on the bus! I even packed the snacks. I asked Kitty where to find those yogurt drinks you like so much."
Lara Jean's eyes open wide in surprise. "The Korean grocery store is all the way across town!"
"I know. So if I went all the way across town to get you something you like then that means...?"
She gives him a small side smile. "You must really like yogurt?"
Peter scuff-chuckles and shakes his head. "You are impossible!"
After the playful moment is passed, she looks away and starts biting her lips, feeling hesitant again. She pulls her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around them tight. "Peter, I... I haven't done this before. I don't know... I don't know what things are suppose to mean. Or how to read the signals. I've read all about it in books and magazines, but none of them say anything about how confusing it actually is to..." She turns a shade of red and averts her eyes, unable to finish the sentence.
"Then let me un-confuse things for you," he says calmly and confidently, startling her a little. "I like you, Lara Jean. Really like you. I don't want to be your fake boyfriend anymore, I want to be your real one. Do you want to be my girlfriend?"
She meets his eyes with a shy smile. "A real one?"
He chuckles and the golden flecks in his eyes shine even more. "Yes, Covey. Very much a real one. What do you say?"
"I'd like that." Her voice is hushed, almost like a whisper. But her smile is big and excited.
They are both leaning against the wall sideways facing each other, a shit-eating grin splitting both their faces.
Peter holds out his hand and Lara Jean takes it and intertwines their fingers. They might have done this before but it feels so much different now.
"So... does that mean I get to kiss you now?"
Instead of answering, Lara Jean leans forward to place her lips on his. She's still nervous, but when he brings his hand to cup her face so tenderly and brushes her cheek, she forgets all about it and melts into the kiss. Her nostrils fill with the smell of Chlorine he brought with him from the hot tub and it reminds her of pool, summer and vacation. It's so much better than she had imagined, because it's real.
When they pull apart, he's breathing heavy. "Are you OK?" He asks, his voice is neither cool nor amused, but ragged and urgent. Vulnerable even.
Lara Jean can't help thinking about how different this kiss is from all their previous ones. Their first kiss was practically a middle school peck while the next two were meant as a distraction more than anything else. But this kiss is soft and sweet and just for them. No one is making them do this and they are not pretending anything. The only reason they are kissing now is that they both want to.
Lara Jean feels a swelling in her chest. She's more than OK. She's perfect.
"Kiss me again," she says, voice low and eyes shining.
With a fascinated smile, Peter brushes a strand of hair off her face. "There's no one like you, Covey," he tells her before locking their lips again.
She doesn't know how long they've been sitting in this corridor, kissing and whispering and smiling at each other; but they eventually have to stop when they hear their chaperons making the rounds and knocking on everyone's door to make sure that their charges are where they are suppose to be (which no one sees the point of since everyone puts a show of being in bed when they're expected to only to have the rest of the night completely free of adult supervision). They are still on the floor bellow though so they have few minutes.
Peter rises to his feet and pulls Lara Jean up with him, then walks her the three steps to her room.
"Wait, where's your room? Are you gonna get into trouble?" She looks so worried it makes him chuckle.
"One floor up. I'll get there in time."
They quickly kiss goodnight and Lara Jean turns to her room. But Peter tugs on her hand and gets her to face him again.
"Are you gonna sit with me on the buss tomorrow?"
Lara Jean giggles. "You better save me a seat, Kavinsky."
Five minutes later, they are both in bed, can't wait to wake up as early as possible in the morning to be with each other again. Tonight, not even deep sleep can wipe the grin off their faces.