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Here are the three facts any new student would need to learn after they entered Soul University (Mostly if they majored in English Literature or Game Design):
Fact One -- Professor Kim and Professor Yoo hated each other.
"Hey, Professor Kim?" A kid raises his hand and Kim Dokja nods. He was new to the school and had no clue what he was about to get himself into. "Do you hate Professor Yoo?"
A conflicted look quickly falls over their teacher's face. "I absolutely despise him... Why? What did he say about me?"
"He called you an 'ugly, good-for-nothing squid' the other day in class." A student called out.
"And he said you were a 'rat' that ruined his life," Someone else added.
Kim Dokja scoffed. "Well, he's just as bad as I am. Here raise your hand if you've ever heard of this creature called a sunfish."
His malicious grin faded as almost all of the people in the lecture hall raised their hands.
"That's good! That's... actually surprisingly good considering we're an English class... Uh, how did you all know about that?"
"Because you mention how he's like a sunfish almost every time someone brings him up," Someone said.
"Yeah!" Another person said. "You need a better insult."
"Well-- He-- He is! I'm just stating facts..." Kim Dokja gave the look of a sad, kicked-out puppy.
Everyone groaned but motioned for him to continue his little tirade against Yoo Joonghyuk. With the way those two teachers were so vocal about hating each other, it was surprising they still continued to work at the same college.
--
"Well I ship them," Uriel said, sitting down to have a cup of coffee.
Kim Dokja glanced over at her. "Uriel??? In a meeting???"
She waved her hands as if to show that his argument was simply irrelevant. "I'm just stating my opinion."
"I agree with Uriel," Jung Heewon said, turning around in her chair. "Besides, the meeting hasn't even started yet and Yoo Joonghyuk isn't here either so it's fine."
Yoo Sangah gave Kim Dokja a sympathetic smile, before pouring herself another cup of coffee. And Han Sooyoung (damn her for being the only other teacher here in the English department) was threatening to fall into a bout of laughter as she gripped her mouth and her shoulders shook.
Kim Dokja was all alone. All of his friends had abandoned him in this time of need.
"Exactly!" Uriel said, clapping her hands.
"Please don't..." Kim Dokja said, trying to stop this conversation from continuing any further.
"We should make bets!" Lee Jihye said, a mischievous sparkle in her eye.
"Guys let's think this through rationally..."
"Twenty bucks!" Han Sooyoung offered. "Twenty bucks that they're married."
"Sixty that they're dating," Jung Heewon said, grinning.
"Uh, can I bet five dollars that they just hate each other?" Lee Hysung asked in a small voice. (That man was not cut out to run the athletic department... but you didn't hear that from Kim Dokja.)
Kim Dokja covered his face with his hands and made the sound of a distant dying animal.
"Oh, don't worry," Uriel said, patting his back. It's finnneee."
"No, it isn't," Kim Dokja muttered, praying that Han Sooyoung would not bring out all the wedding photos she had saved in an album on her phone.
--
The class was abuzz with excitement. Tomorrow would be the beginning of spring break, and the test was yesterday. Meaning today was lecture day.
"Hey, everyone!" Kim Dokja said, waving his hand to address the students as he walked up to the head of the lecture hall. "I understand that we have a bunch of free time today, so would anyone mind if I showed a slideshow I've been working on?"
Fact Two-- Professor Kim would randomly show slideshows of things he was obsessed with whenever they had free time. From a one hundred-and-ten-page slideshow about the entire complex plot of a web novel he read, to an in-depth character summary of some nobody from a trashy, second-rate book he found in his dumpster, the class had seen the highs and lows of their professor's wild taste. It was incredibly comprehensive and a great use of everyone's time.
Needless to say, this could be the highlight of any student's day.
"However, today we'll be doing something a little different.."
Behind him, in a crude default format appears the words: "Why Yoo Joonghyuk Is A Fucking Bastard."
And then below it in a smaller font, "A comprehensive two hundred and twenty-three-page slideshow by Kim Dokja."
A round of clapping ensues.
"Slide One: He always makes these amazing lunches and then refuses to share them with anyone. I always have to forget my lunch every once in a while so he'll actually make me food! How awful is that?"
Shoji Michio leaned over to whisper in a friend's ear. "Is it just me or is that strangely domestic?"
"Slide two: He snores so loudly."
His friend leaned over to whisper back. "No yeah, you're right. That's pretty weird."
"Slide three: He had the personality of a demented rock thrown against concrete one too many times."
And, because it was just Kim Dokja's luck, the door slammed open just before Kim Dokja could click off to go to the next slide. There stood Yoo Joonghyuk, definitely brooding and definitely angry, holding a thin paper brown bag.
"I will kill you," He hissed as he shoved the bag into Kim Dokja's hands and stormed off. Pausing only to glance at the slideshow and raise a single eyebrow at Kim Dokja, who only laughed nervously and waved him goodbye
After the door closed Kim Dokja sighed and wiped his brow. He turned to the class, giving an anxious smile. "Husbands, amiright?"
Fact Three-- A fact realized just in that moment, that despite all odds, those two professors were married.
The room exploded into absolute and constant disarray.
Han Sooyoung stood in the back corner holding her phone up to use a camera. She chuckled, "Never gets old."
"Wha-?! But Professor Kim," A student asked, raising his hand. "I thought you hated him?"
"What do you mean?" Dokja asked. "Of course I do! I'm going to smother that man in his sleep tonight for interrupting my lecture. Honestly, can you believe the audacity? Now, onto slide five."
--
In the hall, Yoo Joonghyuk was talking with Han Donghoon, a student of his to help with some coding homework. Kim Dokja passed by, giving the man an absentminded kiss as he went.
The entire hallway stared in shock as Yoo Joonghyuk just rolled his eyes. "Fucker."
Kim Dokja didn't even look back when he flipped the man off.