Chapter Text
It had taken him more than a week to muster up the courage to return to the Citadel. He may have failed C-Sec amazingly, but he still had a pair of arms and could help with the cleanup. And maybe a bit of security as well - The residents were still in a state of panic. Reaper attacks weren’t exactly regular occurrences. There wasn’t any protocol to follow.
He was never good at following protocol anyway.
There were still pieces of Sovereign everywhere. The council wanted them all rounded up as quickly as possible, mostly to squash rumors before they started. No one knew what they were dealing with. Well, no one but Shepard. And they’d willfully ignored her.
Garrus’ plates twitched as he huffed a tiny laugh to himself. It was tragic, but there was still something funny about it. The biggest “I Told You So” in galactic history.
He was mid-sentence, telling an even less experienced C-Sec officer than himself about the back alley near Chlora’s Den (“there’s an access panel on the far wall that the local smugglers like to use to stash goods”) when he heard his name above the din of crowd chatter and machinery, spoken in a familiar voice.
He turned to see Liara walking towards him, accompanied by two humans in Alliance uniforms. Garrus waved a ‘carry on’ to the young officer and approached her.
“Dr. T'Soni,” he greeted cheerfully. “What brings you -”
He stopped short upon seeing her face. Asari faces were expressive, not so much as humans, but he could see it. The knit in her brow, the downward pull of her mouth. Her shoulders slumped in a way he’d never seen.
“Garrus.” Her voice was heavy and low, spoken with hesitation.
“Something’s…” Liara looked around at the bustling crowd of officers and workers.
“Perhaps we should speak somewhere less crowded?” He offered, picking up on her cues. Liara nodded, and bid the two Alliance officers a thank you and goodbye. He caught a subtle 'I should tell him’ from Liara as they hesitated.
They managed to find a tiny office that still had an intact door just down the hall. The inside was trashed, but it was unoccupied. Garrus shut the door and Liara took and immediate seat on a nearby chair, apparently not caring that it was covered in small debris.
Her actions had made fear begin to rise in his gullet. Liara was calm, collected, always. He hadn’t seen her shaken like this since Lady Benezia -
He pushed the thought away and moved to stand in front of her, leaning on the desk that faced the chair. A few bits of stone and metal pattered to the floor as he did.
“Liara,” he chose his words carefully. “Something’s happened, hasn’t it?”
Her hands were clasping and unclasping in her lap, her spine rigid. She was silent for several seconds.
“The Normandy is gone,” she finally breathed.
Garrus felt his skin go cold. “What happened?” The question tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop it.
She shook her head, shutting her eyes. “We were attacked, by what, I couldn’t tell you.” Her hands were shaking as she rubbed them against each other. “The Council is waiting until they know more to make it public, but…”
She was more than shaken. “And the crew?” Garrus asked, not sure if he actually wanted to know.
An expression crossed her face that he couldn’t quiet read. “Most of us made it out. Joker and Dr. Chakwas are being treated for injuries. There were several casualties..”
The trail in her voice made this throat clench. The pieces clicked together in his head.
“And Commander Shepard?”
She looked up then, a tear finally slipping from her eye. “Garrus, I - she’s gone.” Liara sniffed loudly, more tears falling. “She’s gone, I tried to help her but I couldn’t, she just - ”
“No,” he breathed, not recognizing his own voice. No, no, not her. How could that be possible? He’d watched her shake off grenades, missiles, biotic wells. Disarm nuclear bombs. She climbed out of piles of rubble that would’ve crushed anyone else. She’d taken down Saren.
Liara continued to cry quietly, wiping at her face. He wondered if she’d had any chance to grieve before now.
A tense silence fell for several minutes. Liara managed to compose herself, at least mostly. She stood, straightening her coat and clearing her throat.
“I wanted to tell you, before the rumors started. You deserve to know first,” he voice lowered. “She was so fond of you.”
An unfamiliar tone in her voice made his head snap up. “What?”
Liara’s eyes flicked around his face, searching. “I thought - I thought the two of you were close,” she spoke quickly, her words rushing out. “Shepard was always talking to you on the ship, I mean, and you went with her on more missions than the rest of us.”
Her words hit him like a slow bullet.
Garrus leaned heavily on the desk behind him, hearing it creak under his weight. He thought back to the Normandy, when he’d spend his time in the cargo bay working. How often had she come to him? How many times had he turned to the sound of footsteps to see her walking towards him? How many times had he heard her say, “Garrus, you’re with me” in the briefing room?
She was friendly, personable, curious. Like most humans were. She’d healed him in battle, like any good squad mate would. Defended him when he was down. She helped him settle an old problem, even though it took time and resources away from their mission. They’d chatted about nothing, and often. He figured she was doing the same for everyone. He’d never given it a second thought.
“Oh, Garrus,” Liara breathed. “I’m so sorry.”
The information settled in him like a lead weight. He brought a hand to his forehead.
“I didn’t know,” he heard himself say. Liara touched a hand to his shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” she repeated. “Will you be alright?”
Garrus nodded numbly, though he wasn’t actually sure. Liara bid him goodbye and left, her movements barely registering.
It was a long time before he left the ruined office to return to work. For the next several days, his movements and actions felt hollow and disconnected. He’d been too stupid to pick up on her signals, which seemed more and more obvious the more he remembered them. Or maybe he’d never even tried, assuming a human would never want to be more than associates with a turian C-Sec dropout.
He’d had a friend in Shepard, and now she was dead.
.