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Ugly stifled sobs came from you. Pitifully trying so, so hard to stay quiet. Why did everything have to emotionally come crashing down right now? The worst place possible to have it happen, too. His house.
You finally swallowed, catching your breath as you heard the floors of the hallway groan from him walking back to his room, the one you were in. You struggled to get your sad chapped lips to even part from each other.
"Simon..?"
Your cracking voice broke the silence you had been sitting in. Tender words replied to you oddly quickly.
"Yes? What's wrong?"
He sounded worried to an overdone extent. Softly padding footsteps making their way towards you in the dark room.
You had thought a simple sleepover at your friend's would be as fun as the past, yet you were so caught up with stress you just cried into the pillow as soon as Simon had gotten up to use the restroom.
Pawing your way at the dark to try and find his form, you weakly gripped onto the band of Simon's sweatpants. He let out a gasp, jumping at the sudden contact. He ignored the awkwardness, still worried about you. "Did something happen?" You scooted to the edge of the bed, your legs rubbing against each side of Simon's hips. Being in the dark, neither of you could see what you were doing or where you were going, you didn't expect him to be so close.
Long, gentle arms snaked around your form, pulling you much closer, almost completely off the comfortable mattress. Simon was giving you a hug, an awkward one but still a hug. He rarely ever touched people, let alone hug someone. You wrapped your arms around him as well, realizing that he was in fact shirtless, feeling the warm skin of his chest connect with your cheek. He was nicely built for a depressed man, especially one that never leaves the house. You let out a sigh as you almost melted into his touch, you wished this moment of his warm body against your upper form could last forever.
A mewl left your throat as you felt him almost lift you up and drag you back to the middle of the bed. You didn't expect that whatsoever. One arm slipped from out of under you as you felt the bed dip the slightest bit, Simon now laying next to you. He took a breath in, using the arm that was still under you to basically scoop you closer to him, your nose almost poked his chest once again. He doesn't normally do this stuff, at all. What's going on? The boy hugged you to his chest, rubbing circles on your arm with his thumb.
You didn't really hate this, you actually enjoyed it quite a bit. The heat in your face from crying was going away, and you finally could breathe normally without choking on your sobs. But why was he doing this?
You and Simon had been friends for God knows how long, everything you guys did together was strictly platonic. Both of you two knew how it felt to be lonely, only really having each other to hangout with, sneak out with, smoke with, etc. Both depressed teens who hated listening to rules. Never really touchy unless it was a dire situation. So why now?
You were hesitant to ask, but you were curious. So curious.
"Why?" Was all you could manage out, your hot breath on his chest made him flinch.
He knew what you were asking, he just couldn't find a response. On the outside, you were only kids. Tired ones who wanted nothing but to be free from the mental torture you faced. All you wanted was to be held, to feel loved, to feel wanted. You both knew that. But deep inside you wanted to hold one another, cradle one another, give the long awaited comfort you may never get.
You were too awkward for that, and so was he. In this moment he just wanted to protect you from your worries. He wished he could shake you hard enough, so everything threatening your mental state would fall from your ears like apples coming off of a shaken apple tree. Simon wanted you to be happy, and he just couldn't take sitting and watching anymore. He knows you need a hug.
"I dunno."
His voice made you smile, even if it was a dumb response. Gentle fingertips danced slowly up and down your arm in a comforting manner. You decided to just sit in silence for a bit, taking in your moment, taking in his smell, taking in his touch. You couldn't lie that this is making you nervous, being so close to a boy that you 100% had feelings for. He seemed nervous too, his hands were shaking and you could feel it. It was cute, both of you timid to this new kind of touch, yet comfortable.
"I've been so worried about you. You're starting to look.."
You pondered on his sentence as he tried to find the words to finish it without sounding rude. His voice echoed in your head.
"..Sick."
How could you have gotten so depressed that you look sick? And if Simon could notice; which he seems to notice the smallest of changes, then everyone else could definitely notice. You piped up, face flushing a bit from embarrassment.
"Is it getting that bad? I couldn't tell!"
You let out an annoyed grunt as you stuffed your face into Simon's bare chest, he sighed, hugging you close.
"You're starting to look like me.."
His words were almost slurred, a yawn following the end of his sentence. You frowned as you scooted up to face him, gazing into his tired eyes.
"Simon?"
This time, his name slipped off your tongue with ease, like butter. He looked at you with an exhausted smile, happy that you were no longer crying.
"Mmyes?"
His hummed response made you hold back an excited smile. You scooted closer to him, your hand sneaking its way up to the side of his face. The moonlight slipping in through his broken blinds made his silhouette nice to look at, his pretty brown eyes sparkling from the barely visible light.
Should you kiss him? Right now?
It seems as soon as you thought that to yourself, you felt his lips against yours. Simon's warm palm slid down your body to hold onto your hip, his other hand laid under your head. Fog filled the corners of your brain as you tried to not freeze up. You kiss back, Simon giving a soft whimper in response. It made you shiver, in the best way possible. Parting from the kiss, you were welcomed with a cute smile on the boy's face.
"Can I tell you something?" He whispered, although not needing to.
"Yes, duh. You can tell me anything." You responded quickly, but the words made your stomach flip. Simon licked his bottom lip, taking in a small breath of air.
"I really like you, a lot.. Obviously.. I wish I could save you from everything you're going through right now.. I know I can't, but I'll try my best to make you happy whenever you need it.. Just know, I'll always be here for you." His eyes softened, darting down to the pillow you both were resting your heads on. "You matter a lot to me."
Before you could respond, he quickly pulled you forward, dragging you a couple inches across the mattress and hugging you tightly. You hugged back, stuffing your face into his bare chest once again.
You both laid there, hugging each other. Until his arms loosened, letting you look up at him.
You smiled at him, glad that he was in your life. He smiled back, finding your hand with his own and entwining his fingers with yours.
"I love you, Simon."
"I love you too."