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I felt a little manic as I tried to keep a giggle suppressed. We had set up camp in a small forest clearing, after leaving the druid's grove. Of course that whole situation was a mess in and of itself, but my mind was somewhat distracted right now.
Astarion was lying lazily on a blanket reading a book. He wasn't the first person I would have approached, but at this point I had somewhat exhausted my options. Something about the grouchy elf lying there sent me over the edge and I wheezed out a laugh, my whole body trembling. He rolled his eyes and looked at me over his book, raising an eyebrow.
"You know, if you keep making that face it'll stick." He all but sneered; his usual tone when addressing me, and the sound of it sent me into another fit of giggles. He just stared.
"I-" I managed to get out before wheezing with barely suppressed laughter. It was the hardest I'd laughed since the abduction, and maybe even really the first time I'd had a good laugh in months.
"Karlach wanted me to ask you-' I begun, but had to take a pause to breathe.
"Well? Out with it then." The pale elf commanded, but his serious tone was too much. I had to take several more moments to stop chortling. He rolled his eyes again.
"If you don't have anything of value to say, I'll go look for more compelling conversation - perhaps in a stable."
"Alright alright well I wanted to know if you had any eggs on you." I managed to get out. He raised a meticulously sculpted eyebrow.
"I'm sorry if the joke eludes me."
"No really, we need a few eggs. I don't have any, and Gale and Shadowheart didn't either."
My laughter had finally started to settle down.
"Why eggs? We have plenty of food I thought."
"Well..."
I thought about it again and burst out into another fit of half nervous giggles.
"Karlach and I uh... Made a bet."
I was trying to contain myself again. Astarion motioned for me to continue, closing his book and putting it aside.
"Well uhm... It sounds a little weird, but..." I hedged, suddenly a little embarrassed. At this point his stare had upgraded to an impressive glare.
"We'rebettingonwhethershecanfryaneggonherabs," I managed to blurt out.
He froze. Not like people freeze, like a statue freezes. It was honestly somewhat unnerving. He laid there for several seconds while I dissolved into a laughing fit. I had to lean against a tree to stay upright.
"I... Did I hear that right?"
"If-" I managed to get out between fits of giggles, "If you heard that we're betting on whether Karlach, the huge buff red lady, can fry an egg on her stomach, then you heard right."
I was still barely containing myself, from the comedy of Astarion's reactions as much as the butterflies thinking about her abs was giving me. I felt manic. Frantic, even. Couldn't blame him for glaring. He stared at me, his piercing eyes trying to read my face, but he'd never seen me like this before. Then he let out a soft sound, like a strangled half-laugh.
"I've tied my horse to a madperson." he mumbled, loud enough for me to hear it clearly. He coughed.
"I don't have any eggs, but... Ten gold that she can't."
He followed me over to where Karlach was standing. Our little quest to find eggs had gathered the whole camp, even Lae'zel had closed in, trying to pretend like she was uninterested.
"Hey soldier!" Karlach waved at me as I approached, flashing a wolfish grin.
"Ready to lose a bet?"
My face screwed up as I contained a nervous giggle. "Gods, she's tall," thought some part of my brain as the rest tried to get my mouth to work properly again.
"I, uh, so you managed to find some eggs then?"
"Yeah, Wyll had some!"
She gestured toward Wyll and Gale, who were engaged in a surprisingly heated argument about the outcome.
"- so there's no way her skin would be able to conduct the heat that evenly, evenly if it could support such temperatures." Gale insisted, and Wyll crossed his arms.
"How many devils have you met, Gale? Because I suspect my experience with devils is a little more 'extensive'."
"Right! Well, last call!" Karlach interrupted them, sitting down on the ground with a pair of eggs in her big hand.
She looked at the eggs, then at herself, then back at the eggs.
"Not sure if that's gonna work..." She mumbled, then she looked up at me.
"Hey, Raven, gimme a hand here!"
I hadn't even considered the possibility that I would have to be the one to do it to her. Oh gods.
"S-sure." I mumbled, kneeling down to take the eggs.
I put one on the ground and leaned over her, feeling the heat radiating off her skin at a distance. Karlach tugged at the waist of her leather pants for more surface area, revealing toned, smooth ruby red skin. She leaned back on her elbows to level out her stomach. The movement made her abs flex and my brain stalled for a second. I felt heat rise to my face.
"Psst, soldier." She murmured so low that only I could hear it, "You're drooling."
My head snapped up to meet her eyes. Her soft features were set in a little smug smirk, her gaze burning smoldering holes in my soul.
"Was not..." I mumbled, and her grin widened.
I fumbled the egg in my hand, it cracked on the ground with a soft plop.
"Shit."
Everyone were following the procedure with some amount of interest, and I pondered briefly on the fact that this was the first time we had all been gathered like this over something that had nothing to do with plans or combat or the like. It was unprecedented.
I managed to get a steady grip on the second egg, and smacked it into the ground with a practiced movement. Cooking had once been a hobby of mine, and I had a weak spot for fried eggs. In fact that was how this entire idea had come up in the first place. My mouth had run a little too much again, asking a weird question, and suddenly Karlach was insisting that she attempt to fry an egg with her body heat. I dumped the egg straight onto her bellybutton with one hand. It started sizzling immediately. Gale leaned closer with a fascinated expression.
"Ooh that tickles." She giggled, and the act did fascinating things to her abs. I was definitely not gawking.
The egg fried satisfyingly on her skin, and a crust had already formed around the edges of the whites. It looked for all intents and purposes like a normal egg frying on a skillet.
"This feels really weird." Karlach giggled again.
"Careful, the egg is slipping,"
I tried to warn her, but the egg slid down her belly and nearly dropped down her pants. She yelped and balanced out her stomach by lifting herself with her legs. I burst out into a fit of hearty laughter, and a few of the others snickered with me.
"Alright, now who wants to eat it?" Karlach joked.
Some insane part of my brain wanted to slide the egg onto a plate, but I managed to just laugh at the joke. She dumped the egg, which had fried into a nice sunny-side up, pulled her pants up again, and wiped her stomach with a hand.
"Demonstration's over folks! Turns out Zariel turned me into a stove! Pay up!"
She stood up to stretch and I dropped a few coins into her hand with a chuckle. Her eyes met mine with an oddly serious expression I couldn't decipher.
"That's what happens to things that touch me. Except for very few rarities I managed to pick up in Avernus." She murmured to me, holding my gaze for a second or two.
I was pretty sure my face was glowing red all the way out to the tips of my ears, but she just nodded at me, and turned to get her coin from the others. I stood there wondering what the hells she had meant by that. She turned back to see me deep in thought and laughed.
"Alright I'm hungry now, let's get some real food cooking."
That night felt like something had fundamentally changed in the camp, people were actually talking and bantering around the campfire. Wyll, Karlach, and Lae'zel were exchanging war stories, Gale and Shadowheart were discussing the finer points of some kind of religious worship, Astarion was still a bit withdrawn but he was sitting with the rest of us, wearing a less severe scowl than he usually did. I was just chewing on a piece of boar meat, enjoying the more relaxed atmosphere. For the first time it felt like we were more than just associates, companions on a shared quest. It felt like we were comrades.
I caught Karlach's gaze across the fire and we exchanged a smile. Maybe things didn't have to be all scary all of the time.