Chapter Text
Adrien had known his whole life something was off. He had tried to brush it off on numerous occasions, but the feelings and thoughts had always come back to him. If anything, he guessed that perhaps it was just the uneasiness of being in the public eye so much, or of being upper-class, that was eating him.
But there were other subtle signs here and there. Not wanting to be in gym class. Staying covered when in a pool. Feeling more at ease with girl friends rather than boys. He had attempted to discuss this with his mother when younger, asking if he would grow up to be like she was. That conversation had resulted in a sit-down with his father about what was appropriate and what was not.
If it had just stayed those small signs, it might have been bearable. Or maybe it would have come to a head when he was an adult, rather than at fourteen. But his father insisted that he be a model. To be a “pinnacle of a growing male”.
When that decision was made Adrien could have screamed the whole day. No one comforted him when he often cried to sleep, deeply confused as to why he felt as he did.
He could have screamed just as hard now, staring at the reflection in the mirror.
This felt wrong . Completely wrong. Incorrect. Disjointed. Terrible.
Which was a shame. The suit was beautiful, a stunning shade of blue, paired with a blue tie and white undershirt. It was to be the showpiece in a new Gabriel collection. One of which Adrien was of course expected to model for. To have his face plastered all over Paris, again . New billboards to go with the old ones. Mentioning how he was growing up, coming of age...
...and how much he hated to be reminded of any of that.
The clothing was not the issue. The body inside of it very much was.
Adrien wished this suit was on anyone else but him. He wanted to tear it off completely but knew the consequences that came with doing such a thing. His father would throw a fit, Nathalie would probably intervene but whatever small amount of freedom he had been given would be taken away.
The situation was getting unbearable. It was one thing to put up with it when his mother was alive, quite different when his father was expecting far too much and micromanaging from afar.
And what he felt, he now knew, wasn't abnormal. There were others in such a state out in the world.
He sighed, sat down, and closed his eyes. It was time to indulge a fantasy. Running away, seeking freedom. In it, he wasn't anything close to who he was now.
Because his dreams were of black dresses. Tighter clothing. Clothing that didn't fit. Piercings. Tattoos. Dark makeup. Blonde hair almost going down to his waist. A face people might give a second look to, but then move on in their day. A body that wasn't starved. Eating whatever he wanted. Hips. Curves.
A full-scale rebuild. She'd be just some goth or emo kid.
But how to get there? Would it even be possible to trade one life for another? Gabriel would be relentless if he ran away, he'd never stop trying to hunt him down. But getting him to understand the situation wouldn't work either.
He would need to be strong. It would mean giving up privilege and high standing, but he didn't need or want any of that. He would need to do this sooner rather than later.
...And it was time to stop using he. She was going to rise from the ashes, a phoenix breaking free.
No. If this were to even be considered, she'd have to tell someone. But who could she trust?
-
“Are...are you sure Adrien?”
Marinette had never met a trans person in her life. It was entirely possible that she had run into them of course, and that she didn't realize, but among her friends and family there was no one. Not that she had any issues with such a thing; everyone should be free to be who they wish.
But it took her by surprise to hear Adrien admit it outright. Usually he tried to be diplomatic in his answers, but this didn't leave any room for negotiation. “Yes. I'm sure of this, Marinette. I am...I'm a t-trans girl?”
Using those words towards herself was taking some getting used to, but Adrien knew that time was of the essence and that learning as she went was going to be important. She had gotten her courage together and met with her two oldest friends, Marinette and Chloe, in order to try and bring them in on a plan. A very outrageous and dangerous plan that she still didn't know would work, but one she was willing to try anyways.
Chloe grinned. “I mean I should have suspected this back from when we were kids and you'd always ask if we could dress up and be princesses, but here I thought you'd just outgrown it or were just very secure as a guy.”
Adrien paled thinking back to their youth. “Y-yes, I guess that should have been a sign. But I've only recently figured out that this is what's been bothering me forever and I need your help. All of your help. Maybe from the whole class.”
“In what way?” Marinette asked, and Adrien stared at the ground before continuing. “It should come as no surprise to you both that my père will probably have huge issues with this all. He's not going let me...um, transition? More than likely ever. I can't wait until he dies to do this. So, I was thinking...if there's ever going to be a time to do this, it's now.”
Both Chloe and Marinette looked on with some concern. “...A time to do what, Adrikins?”
The smile which crossed over Adrien's face was one neither had seen before, like a hidden part had been unlocked. There was something feral and mischievous about it. “Disappear. The boy in front of you must never be seen again.”