Chapter Text
“You’re going to love him,” Taehyung gushes and his fingers feel warm where they’re intertwined against Jimin’s - and yet Jimin’s palm stings with sweat, stress rolling down his shoulders in barren waves. He tries for a smile, and it seems to satiate his coven-mate, as Taehyung continues on with his babbling.
“He’s so sweet and he hates coffee just as I do and-”
Jimin watches the way the Stamen’s eyes sparkle, Taehyung’s voice pitching upward into something fond, excited. It causes a lump to form in his throat, poisonous and thick, and he suddenly can’t swallow around it. Can only watch as Taehyung practically bounces on his feet, impatient for the lights to change so they can cross the road.
An anti-stamen.
Jimin watches the road carefully, barely even noticing when his eyes gloss over, when the passing cars turn into blurring colours. The wind rustling at his clothing is barely there anymore, the sweat slipping in between his fingers a distant, numb feeling.
Jimin should be happy. They’ve been a coven of six for as long as he can remember, and they’ve been happy, more than happy, but a coven without an anti-stamen has obviously caused it’s problems. It’s difficult to handle Yoongi’s effects on the Pistils of the coven, and Jimin knows that his Hyung feels extreme guilt for the effects of his poisonous touch. And having an anti-stamen to negate his effects? To allow him to touch Namjoon and Hoseok without the fear of accidentally harming them?
It would be life-changing, a new era.
The ability to relax.
But… but it means they’re not going to be six anymore, they’re not going to be just.. Them.
Jimin licks out over his bottom lip slowly, barely aware that Taehyung is tugging him over the road, still babbling away happily. His glazed vision falls onto the small purple flowers that trail down the Stamen’s left arm - pretty, dark purple things that gather in tiny clusters… heliotrope. It’s Taehyung’s signature vanilla scent, tinged with almond and something floral, and it’s so him, but there’s going to be… more.
He isn’t sure how he feels about all this. The rest of his Hyungs have met the anti-stamen already, a sweet man named ‘Jungkook’, apparently. It was actually Namjoon who had met him first, had bumped into him at a library in the town over, and apparently, according to the Pistil - the clumsy man with the oak tree curling strong up his spine - Jungkook’s eyes had instantly drawn him in.
Yoongi had met him next, no surprise. But what had been surprising was when Yoongi had come home, a smile spread over his face, eyes glazed with something. Jimin had watched him with quiet eyes, watched as Namjoon had smiled knowingly, and there was just something clinging to his Hyungs, something… new.
Taehyung and Hoseok had gone next, met him on a sweet coffee date, and their reaction had been much the same - happy, sweet, instantly smitten. Seokjin had gone on a restaurant dinner date with him just a few weeks ago - and the Pistil had come home with the widest smile on his face, gripping at the hands of his coven mates enthusiastically.
And Jimin had just… sat there. Watched with quiet eyes, curled up in an armchair, watched as Seokjin had laughed at something Taehyung had said.
It’s a weird feeling, being a Calyx. Being a human who has never awoken. Jimin will never be like them - he’ll never have a tree curling up his back like Namjoon, nor a gather of vines that start from the base of Seokjin’s neck. And he won’t have flowers like Hoseok, Taehyung, nor poisonous pollen like Yoongi.
He’s just… the odd one out.
It’s not a bad thing - it’s more than clear that his coven adores him. Even if his flowers aren’t knitted into their backs, even if he doesn’t have a scent, even if he doesn’t have a use. Even if he traces the heliotropes, the magnolia, the white snakeroot that adorns Seokjin’s and Namjoon’s backs whilst they sleep. The gathering of flowers from the stamens of the coven.
(Jimin sometimes wishes he had a scent like Hoseok. That rich, creamy scent that rolls off of the stamen’s body, wishes that he too had pretty white and pink flowers curling up over his shoulder and down his back.)
But it’s okay. It’s okay because Jimin is loved, he is, even if he is different, an anomaly, but…. But it’s going to be different from now on.
It’s so, so rare to find an anti-stamen, and even more rare to find one that fits so… so perfectly in with the rest of the coven.
But Jimin just isn’t… isn’t sure.
“- wanted to meet you for ages,” Taehyung is saying now, squeezing at his hand, “But you’ve always been so busy. ”
Guilt flashes through Jimin like a knife, and suddenly the air rustling through his hair feels a lot more real, and he can feel the brush of his shoes on the pavement, the sweaty grip that is now his own.
He has been busy. Avoiding, maybe, trying his best to ignore the obvious. Jimin doesn’t cope well with change, with belonging.
“Sorry,” He murmurs, trying to wiggle his eyebrows in a lightening way, “But at least we get to meet now!”
“Finally!” Taehyung giggles, tugging Jimin around another corner and oh, the familiar red and cream sign of their favourite cafe is coming into view and something drops in Jimin’s stomach. They’re meeting here? Jimin really should have listened to Taehyung’s excited babbling, shouldn’t have just ignored it all in an attempt to escape into the depth of their mind, but they’re drawing up to their cafe.
Their.
It’s the cafe where they had their first date as six, but now they might be seven and the thought makes Jimin’s stomach churn. He’s not afraid of a new person, not entirely - what is one more boyfriend, one more covenmate? But the thought that is bubbling on the forefront of his mind, nibbling anxieties into his chest… What if they don’t need him anymore?
Jimin has always been useless when it comes to things, useless in that form of intimacy that pistils and stamens share - the blooming of their flowers onto branches, in between the leaves of a vine. But the house had always been moving, rolling with dramatic and dynamics, and Yoongi’s poison kept everyone on their toes so maybe no-one had noticed just how useless Jimin is.
But if things settle, and everything calms, and new flowers start to bloom… will they all notice just how empty Jimin is? How useless he is in the depth of their coven, their relationship?
“There’s no need to be nervous,” Taehyung murmurs, pulling Jimin to a stop and forcing the calyx to meet his eyes, “For one, Jungkook is an absolute sweetheart.” great. “And for two,” and Taehyung ducks a little, forces Jimin to meet his eyes, “If you don’t like him, baby, then nothing is going to happen, okay? It’s all or nothing.”
If you don’t… but how could Jimin do that to them? Even if he doesn’t like Jungkook, how could he deprive his lovers of what they need most? How can he deprive Yoongi of the finality of getting skin-contact without tears and anxiety?
Jimin can’t.
He’ll have to swallow it down, accept it.
It’ll…. Well.
Taehyung’s hand is warm in his own, clutching onto his fingers, but Jimin isn’t sure if it’s real anymore. All he can do is stare blankly, licking at his chapped lips as he’s tugged toward the cafe door, up that small familiar step, and the nostalgic bell on top of the door is chiming - announcing their arrival.
The cafe feel so, so familiar… and yet so distant at the same time. It’s as if Jimin is walking into this space for the first time, on that first date those few lovely years ago, sweating with anticipation, excitement. But now it’s just dread.
What if there is no space for him anymore? It’s not the anti-stamen’s fault, not at all, but what if it just exposes that there wasn’t a place for Jimin to begin with? What if… what if….
The clinking of mugs and hisses from the coffee machine barely register, and Jimin breathes out shallowly as Taehyung makes a loud noise of excitement - and he’s suddenly tugged in a new direction, sliding in between familiar light wooden tables, adorned with familiar tiny salt and pepper shakers.
So familiar and yet so new.
Jimin has never coped well with change. Maybe it’s his pre-existing fear of never finding a place in the world, or the dread that he felt when he realized that he would never awaken - that he was never going to bloom on another’s back, nor leave his imprint in their skin. He was simple flesh and bone, nothing to give and nothing to take.
It’s all changing too fast.
“I thought you’d gotten lost,” Yoongi’s voice comes, a low, amused drawl, and Taehyung is making a witty comeback with a soft laugh, his hands finding Jimin’s elbows. Jimin just blinks slowly, focuses on breathing in and out as he’s bustled into the booth, jeans sliding against smooth wood.
In and out. In and out.
There’s a hand squeezing at his knee, a warm, rough palm, and Jimin recognizes it to be Seokjin’s hand instantly, his eldest Hyung pressed close to his side, a coffee mug steaming on the table in front of him. The touch should be calming, should be settling, but all it does is send a sharp jolt of dread through Jimin’s chest, churning somewhere deep into his stomach, the grip tightening on his throat.
He breathes out slowly, licks over his swollen bottom lip one final time, and finally, finally looks up.
Oh fuck.
He’s cute.
Jungkook has huge doe eyes, a slight puff to his cheek and a lovely nose and he’s already staring at Jimin with an odd look sparkling in those huge eyes. He startles a little when Jimin makes eye contact, shoulders stiffen, eyes growing even wider and fuck, he looks like a sweetheart. He looks cute, welcoming, and he’s already pressed up against Namjoon’s side, the pistil having an arm slung around his shoulder, and Yoongi is tucked on his other side, and Jimin is sure that the venom stamen has a hand resting on Jungkook’s knee and it’s just… dull.
“Jungkook-ah,” Hoseok’s voice is saying, tucked on Jimin’s other side, Taehyung tugging a chair up to the end of the table, “This is Jimin. You can call him Hyung.”
It’s warm, welcoming, but no words come from Jimin’s throat. All he can do is try for a shaky smile, dipping his head in a slight bow - one that Jungkook returns almost instantly, eyes shining.
The conversation starts to flow around him, a cup eventually placed in front of him as a waitress breezes by - and his lovers have got his coffee order perfectly as per usual, but Jimin can’t bring himself to drink it. He stares at the curling foam silently, hands clenched together tightly out of view underneath the table and he doesn’t… know how to feel.
Jungkook seems sweet. He seems absolutely lovely, and it’s clear that his Hyungs and Taehyung don’t like him because he’s an anti-stamen - but because he’s him. Maybe his awakening is just a bonus on top of it all, because his laugh is little bells, and his smile is filled with bunny teeth, and Taehyung is staring at him with something so fond and oh, his Hyungs are looking at him in the exact same way.
He’s… he’s….
His knees shake as Jimin pushes himself up from the table, and he smiles lamely as Yoongi looks at him, concern knitting over his eyebrows and all eyes are on him and-
“Bathroom,” He murmurs, and Hoseok shuffles out of his way so he can escape, and Jimin tries his best to keep a normal pace as he walks across the cafe floor, disappearing through the cream door to the restroom.
His hands tremble as he locks himself inside a cubicle, slowly, slowly sliding down to the floor. Scoffing at himself, Jimin shoves his shaking hands in between his knees, biting at the inside of his cheek as his mind races.
There’s nothing wrong with Jungkook. He seems like a perfect match, more than perfect (maybe a better fit than Jimin) and it’s clear that his covenmates are utterly smitten and Jimin wants nothing, nothing more than for them to be happy….
So… so….
When he walks back to the table, head held high, teeth gritting together - all eyes jump to him instantly.
Taking a deep breath in, Jimin tries for his most genuine smile, locking eyes directly with Jungkook.
“I hope you’ll find home with us, Jungkook-ah.”
And the smiles that ripple over his lovers’ faces, utter relief sinking into their shoulders and Jimin watches as Taehyung reaches over to grip onto Jungkook’s shoulder, and Yoongi’s hand presses at Jimin’s hip and it’s just…
Numb.
Numb as Jimin’s heart drops to his feet.
Is there still space for him?