Work Text:
Case #0131712
Statement of Jhaqwuillothey Flort, regarding an…alligator incident at his former place of employment. Original statement given December 17, 2013.
I’m still just…so confused. Like why did he think that would work?
Sorry, getting ahead of myself.
My name is Jhaqwuillothey Flort. I used to work at the Santa Ana Market in Miami. Uh, Florida. I don’t know if I should specify the state, I mean, you guys are in the UK, so…yeah.
Anyway, I USED to work there. After this, I just…couldn’t take it anymore.
I guess I should actually tell you what happened. I mean, that’s why I’m here, right?
So.
A week ago, a man came into the store. Fernando Caignet Aguilera, I learned later from news reports. Anyway, I was kind of busy with something or other behind the counter, so I didn’t really look at him when he walked in, just yelled “Welcome in” and let him go about his business.
It wasn’t until I heard a heavy thunk on the counter that I looked up. The man had a 12-pack of beer, and was looking at me expectantly. I carded him, and he was definitely over 21, so I began to ring him up. His total came to about $10.50, pretty normal price for a 12-pack.
But when I asked him if he’d be paying with cash or card, he said “Neither”. I told him that he had to pay for it, he couldn’t just have it for free. He told me he knew that, and then.
He pulled out a four foot long live alligator from nowhere and tried to hand it to me.
I’m not going to lie. I screamed like a little girl.
He just kept holding the gator out to me, as if this was a perfectly normal form of payment.
I called the police, obviously. The man was obviously not fully there mentally, and I wasn’t planning on being attacked by a gator.
The police came and arrested him, and…that’s pretty much all.
It just doesn’t make sense.
I’m moving to California soon. I can’t handle anything more where I am now.
Statement ends.