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Harry’s friends stared at him like he’d gone round the bend. Ron raised his wand and cast a series of counter jinxes at him, clearly expecting that Harry had been befuddled.
Harry didn’t react beyond rolling his eyes. Ron had done the same thing when Harry had told them that he’d befriended Draco.
“I don’t understand. You’re dating Malfoy?!” Ron reiterated.
“And Blaise Zabini, yeah,” Harry confirmed.
Ron looked flabbergasted that his counters hadn’t changed Harry’s answer. Hermione watched him with her penetrating stare. She didn’t look like she was going to try her own hand at removing a curse from his system, but she definitely seemed like she thought something was wrong with him.
“And Zabini,” she repeated.
Harry nodded.
Ginny looked like she couldn’t choose a reaction between being miffed and finding Harry’s situation hysterical.
“So, you split with me and then went and found yourself two blokes?”
Hermione looked at her. “I’ll remind you that you broke up with Harry. And then went and got with Luna yourself.”
Ginny smiled, thinking about her girlfriend. “Yeah, but I only got with Luna. Harry went and found himself two lads.”
Harry also smiled, thinking of his boyfriends. “Can’t have too much of a good thing, in this case.”
“Beg to differ!” Ron shouted. “Did it have to be Malfoy?”
“It didn’t have to be, but I’m glad it is. Him and Blaise.”
“Besides,” Ginny further defended herself, “I split with Harry because he didn’t like sex. I love sex! And I certainly didn’t want to force Harry to keep doing it when he doesn’t like it.”
“Lalalalalala!” Ron shouted, covering his ears.
Harry laughed at him. Ron never had liked hearing about his and Ginny’s sex life. And though Harry had no experience, he suspected he’d hate having to hear his baby sister was having sex, too, let alone plenty of it.
But this topic did stir Hermione. “Do you have sex with them, Harry?”
Harry shrugged. “I do with Blaise, sometimes. He loves it even more than Gin. But Draco is a sex repulsed ace. He doesn’t like it at all, so doesn’t indulge.”
“Also,” he directed at Ginny. “It’s not that I don’t like sex. I just don’t get the urge to do it or feel sexual attraction to anyone. But Draco and Blaise are attractive in other ways.”
Ron grumbled, “I can’t imagine how.” He had taken his hands from his ears when he noticed Ginny was no longer talking.
Harry ignored him.
Hermione had on her thinking face. She was of course one of the first people Harry came to when he’d realised he was ace and needed information. And thus, Hermione was as well-read up on the topic as anyone.
“If Draco is sex-repulsed,” she queried, “what does he do when you and Blaise have sex?”
“Usually Blaise and I go to the spare bedroom. And we shower and wash the linings immediately after. But occasionally I’ll take him back to my place and we’ll do it there. Draco doesn’t like to hear or smell it, so we can be as loud as we want at mine. We’ve forgotten to Silencio the room a time or two at theirs. Draco didn’t complain, much, but we still felt pretty guilty.”
Hermione nodded, assimilating this information while Ron looked like he was going to be ill just thinking about it.
“I think you all would like them. You just need to meet them,” Harry said.
“I think I’ve met Malfoy enough for every one of my lifetimes,” Ron argued.
Ginny hummed, thinking aloud. “Luna is friends with him, so he can’t be all bad.”
Ron made a derisive face. “No offense, Gin, but Luna is not exactly my go-to character reference. The jury is still out on her character.”
Ginny’s face scrunched up and Harry could tell that she was about to lay into Ron in defence of her girlfriend when Hermione interjected.
“I think that’s a great idea, Harry. You should reintroduce them to us all. Perhaps bring them to the next Weasley Sunday brunch.”
“To what?!” Harry, Ron, and Ginny all exclaimed.
“Oh, that’ll be a bloodbath,” Ginny said.
Ron’s face turned sinister. “You’re right. That will be a bloodbath. What a great idea, Hermione. Yes, Harry. Bring them to brunch.”
“Er, I dunno if that’s the best idea, Hermione,” Harry denied.
Hermione clapped her hands, like it was decided and final. “No, I think that’s brilliant. Let’s do that. Invite them tonight to Sunday’s brunch, won’t you, Harry?”
And Harry couldn’t say for sure, but Hermione’s eyes and smile were a little too mischievous.
Ron clapped Harry on the shoulder, his mood much lifted from the start of this conversation. “It’s your funeral, mate.”
Did he have to say that with a smile?!