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“What the fuck, Lupin?!”
Remus rolled his eyes at the loud shout that was clearly demanding his attention. The voice wasn’t particularly familiar - a Slytherin? - and there was a list as long as his arm of things that people could either be angry at him over or choosing to take out on him. Ballsy to be doing it in the library, but it wasn’t unheard of.
He didn’t bother looking up. The new Doctor Who annual was out and he was a gay nerd who was not going to be distracted from Ten’s dark brown eyes, thank you very much.
“Why the fuck do you have a photo of my boyfriend in your book, you freak?” the voice demanded, angry footsteps storming towards him.
“I highly doubt this is your boyfriend,” Remus remarked, finally glancing up to see Evan Rosier breathing down his neck. Remus blinked up at him, holding the book up so he could see it properly, “Who the hell do you think this is?”
Rosier froze, now that he could get a better look at the photo and see it was a man in his mid thirties.
“Salazar he looks just like Barty,” the boy muttered, scowling at the book.
"Huh. He's, ehm, an actor on muggle television - David Tennant,” Remus said, frowning, “Barty - that’s Crouch right?” he looked at his book, “Huh, now that you mention it - yeah I see the resemblance.”
Rosier crossed his arms, “I’ve seen you hanging out with Reggie.”
“Probably, that’s been known to happen,” he remarked, raising an eyebrow at him, then smirked, “Do you want to see other pictures?”
Rosier snorted derisively but took the seat next to him and grabbed the book out of his hands, flipping through it. After a few minutes he glanced sideways at Remus, “Muggle television - that’s the box with the moving and talking pictures, right?” Remus nodded and Rosier hummed, “So there’s talking pictures of this Doctor bloke?”
Remus smirked, “There’s also talking pictures where he,” he tapped a photo of Tennant, “plays Casanova.”
Interest flashed in Rosier’s eyes, “I don’t suppose you have a way to show me that? I know muggle things don’t work at Hogwarts.”
“Oh that was the first thing we figured out how to get around,” Remus chuckled, leaning in conspiratorially, “I’ve figured out how to get the Come and Go Room to create a television with specific muggle shows - if you’re interested.”
—
Evan was, in fact, interested. They ended up meeting up to watch the first episode that evening, and Remus ate popcorn and watched in amusement as Evan got both homicidally jealous and mortifyingly aroused to watch a man who bore a striking resemblance to his boyfriend. He was fairly certain that as soon as the episode was over, Evan had tracked said boyfriend down to have his wicked way with him and had to admit to a pang of jealousy.
Not that he wanted either of them, he just wished he had a boyfriend.
The next day he was studying in the library with Lily when Regulus half ran up to them and sat down in the seat across from Remus. It was entirely unlike Regulus - he was flushed, his hair slightly dissheveled, and his eyes were glittering.
"Black, you cannot just sit with us," Lily said sharply, drawing Remus’s attention.
"Lils-" Remus started softly.
"Don't mind me, pretend I'm not here," Regulus insisted, waving a dismissive hand and looking eagerly towards the door.
"I most CERTAINLY will not–" Lily snarled, hand clenched around her wand. Remus put a reassuring hand on her wrist and shot a pleading look at Regulus when a pair of hands slammed onto the table hard enough to cause their parchments to jerk and the ink well to wobble dangerously.
A pair of narrowed, dark chocolate brown eyes were inches away from Remus's honey brown. Thick brows were deeply furrowed, his nose scrunched up and flaring, his mouth opened in a menacing snarl that bared his teeth, framed by aggressive stubble. Remus could, very easily believe he was face to face with a young David Tennant. The hair was wrong, dyed black if his blond eyebrows were anything to go by, but it worked.
Remus's mouth watered and his eyes flicked down to his lips, which were pierced with snake bites, before meeting his eyes again. Unnoticed by Remus, Regulus went stiff following this reaction.
"You took my boyfriend on a date to watch porn," Barty growled, low and menacing. Christ, his voice even sounded a little like him.
"My impression was that he went back to fuck you so hard you forgot your name," Remus pointed out, raising an eyebrow.
Barty's eyes flashed and he raised one hand, jabbing his finger painfully into Remus's chest, "That – is entirely besides the point!"
"We're watching the second episode tonight if you'd like to join us," he said, keeping his voice carefully calm and managing to withhold the smirk that desperately wanted to cross his face. As confident as Remus was in his dueling and defense skills, Barty was not someone he wanted as an enemy.
“I’m going,” Regulus said sharply, causing Remus to look over, quite startled by this announcement, though he quickly brought his attention back to the person who was still looming dangerously and looking like he wanted nothing more than to rip Remus’s throat out with his teeth. He tried not to think about wanting that mouth on his throat, it really was not the time.
“Fine,” Barty spat, his eyes flickering to Regulus before he straightened up, “but keep your filthy paws off Rosie.”
He stalked off, his gait an exaggerated strut that only someone with his lanky features could pull off. Not that Remus, similarly lanky, imagined he could ever pull off such easy confidence. He watched unashamedly until Regulus kicked his shin as he stood up to leave. Remus winced slightly, but Regulus didn’t seem to notice as he coolly made his farewells and left.
“Remus John Lupin,” Lily said when they were again alone, staring at him with wide eyes, her jaw hanging slightly open, “Was that - are you going to be in a freaking orgy?”
“God, no, we just watched a BBC show - Casanova, the one with Tennant,” he explained, his face flushing.
“You’re going to… watch muggle telly with three members of the Sacred 28?” Lily repeated incredulously.
“Evan wants to ogle the guy who looks a lot like his boyfriend - Barty wants to distract Evan from ogling anyone that’s not actually him - and Regulus seems to find the whole thing hilarious,” Remus said with a shrug, then grinned at her, “But yes, that is exactly what I’m doing.”
Lily just shook her head and went back to her Charms essay.
—
When he arrived in the seventh floor corridor with the tapestry of Barnabus the Barmey, Regulus was already there. Remus smiled and gave him a small wave.
"I thought you'd be late - didn't you have Quidditch practice?" Remus said pleasantly.
"Got out early," he replied, examining his fingernails.
"Good, I would have suggested we reschedule when you said you wanted to come - but, er, I think Barty would have tried to kill me," he said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.
Regulus gave him a small smile and nodded to the wall.
The room was small, with low lighting that was good for movies. There was only a modestly sized television, he could get larger ones, even a movie theater, but was more comfortable with this and found it less intimidating for the wizards.
He was distracted from admiring the room when he came to the seating.
"There should have been two proper couches," he muttered, frowning at the loveseat and armchair.
"The room can be finicky," Regulus said breezily, touching his arm before walking over to the armchair and settling himself on the armrest and gesturing for Remus to sit in the seat itself, "This is fine."
"You're sure you won't be uncomfortable?" Remus asked, chewing his lip, "I'm fine on the floor."
"Sit, Re," Regulus insisted, rolling his eyes.
It wasn't long before Evan and Barty arrived. Evan was quite cheerful, animatedly telling Barty and Regulus about the plot they'd missed - Remus was impressed he'd actually paid attention. Meanwhile Barty glared the whole time, sneering and making irritated remarks that had Evan smirking.
Remus was wholly unsurprised that five minutes in, the two boys were making out aggressively.
Remus was wholly surprised when Regulus slid off the armrest and into his lap, draping himself like a contented cat.
“I mean it, Reg, if you’re uncomfortable I can–”
“I’m quite comfortable,” he interrupted, keeping his gaze on the television.
This seemed unlikely, Remus was lanky and bony and all sharp edges that couldn’t be nice to sit on. But Regulus was leaning his head against his chest and he figured he could stand to leave it like that.