Work Text:
“Is that Gus?”
Luz paused in the middle of the sidewalk, trying to make out the familiar face in the window of the nearby diner she, Hunter, and Willow were passing. Between glare and it being a parking lot away, she couldn’t quite tell if it really was him.
“Didn’t he say he couldn’t hang out today because he was meeting someone else?” Willow said.
“Maybe he’s meeting them in a diner?” Hunter suggested.
“I’m not sure, the way he said it made me think it was some kind of work thing, like for the exchange program,” Luz said. “I think this calls for a closer look.”
One short sneaky montage (hummed soundtrack included) later, the three peeked their heads up from behind a jeep halfway across the parking lot.
“Oh, that is definitely Gus,” Luz whispered.
“Do you think he’s meeting a human? For the exchange program?” Hunter whispered back.
“I can’t tell who he’s talking to from this angle,” Willow whispered. “We should move a few rows over.”
“Wait,” Luz hissed. She narrowed her eyes.
Through the window she could see Gus laugh at something. He put his elbows up on the table, on either side of a—seemingly untouched—tray of fries, and rested his chin on his hands.
Luz Noceda was not a normal girl. Through thousands of hours of cheesy romance books, shows, and movies, she had developed a keen sixth sense for shipping. And right now? Right now, she felt like a psychic getting the worst telepathic headache of their life.
“Something is afoot,” she whispered.
“What?” Hunter asked.
“That kid is not on a work meeting. Follow me.”
As a well-oiled unit, the trio crept and stealth-rolled one car over, then two, so there was a clear line between them and the diner window. Luz carefully peeked her head around the car they had their backs to. Sitting across from Gus was— no. It couldn’t be.
“Change of plans!” Luz dashed out from behind the car and ran full tilt at the window.
WHANNG
Gus and his date jumped in their seats. With her face pressed to the glass, there was no mistaking that dumb haircut and scraggly facial hair.
“Mat tholomule? ” Luz yelled.
“Mattholomule?” Willow and Hunter echoed behind her. Seconds later they were also pressed up to the glass.
Mattholomule’s face flushed. He snatched up a menu and hid his face behind it. Gus’ ears were pressed back in embarrassment. He said something angrily, but Luz couldn’t hear through the window.
“You weasel!” Hunter shouted next to her. “I knew you would try some underhanded method to one-up me! Well guess what, you’ll never be better friends with Gus than me! I’ve got way better bonding activities than secret diner meetings!”
Luz paused. “Dude, did you say friends? They are definitely dating.”
“What?” Hunter said.
Willow grinned and turned to Gus, shooting him a thumbs up and pointing to Mattholomule. Gus buried his face in his hands.
“Wait, how did you know?” Hunter asked. “How long have they been dating?”
“Good question!”
Luz turned back to the window and tapped on the glass. When Gus looked up, she started fingerspelling ‘How long have you been dating?’
Before she could finish the last word, Gus visibly groaned. He said something to Mattholomule and they both stood up. Mattholomule tossed down the menu he’d been using to shield his face. He started raising his right hand, the intent to make some rude gesture clear in his eyes, but Gus grabbed his hand.
Luz’s eyes shot wide open, laser-locked on their hands as Gus dragged Mattholomule to the door. Gus disappeared from view. She turned to the others.
“I knew it! They are dating!”
“I can’t say I’m really surprised,” Willow said.
“You knew? ” Hunter and Luz asked in unison.
Willow wiggled her hand noncommittally.
Before they could ask more the diner door flew open. Gus burst out, dragging Mattholomule behind him. “ Guys , you’re embarrassing us!” he shouted shrilly.
“Yeah, go fuck yourselves!” Mattholomule added. “Except for Willow.”
Even with Mattholomule’s comment, Luz did feel a little bad at her friend’s obvious embarrassment. “I’m sorry, Gus. I didn’t mean to crash your da—”
“And we aren’t dating!” Gus’ voice cracked on the last word.
“We aren’t?” came Mattholomule’s suddenly small voice.
In the intersection next to them, the light changed from red to green. A singular, ancient car puttered to life, then drove off down the street. Luz’s jaw hung all the way down. Her lower lip feebly gestured like it was trying to signal for help.
Willow placed one firm hand on Luz’s shoulder and her other on Hunter’s. “Hey guys, why don’t we try out that ice cream place next door? I’ve heard it’s really good.”
Meekly, Luz let herself be turned and led away. They made it five steps.
“What do you mean we aren’t dating?”
“You never asked me out or anything! I thought we were friends, how was I supposed to know?”
“What do you think this was?!”
The three started walking faster.
“How long have we even been ‘dating’ for?”
“Like a month now, ever since you said you liked me!”
“Since I what? ” Gus asked.
“We were sitting all close watching a romantic movie! And you looked over at me with that sappy ear flick, looked straight in my eyes, and said I think I like men. ”
“That was about John Leguizamo!”
“What?” Mattholomule screeched.
They made it to the ice cream shop and hurriedly ducked inside. The door closed just slowly enough for one last shrill shout from Mattholomule to make it in, “We KISSED last WEEK!!”
“So,” Willow said in a falsely bright tone, “who wants waffle cones? I can pay.”