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The din in the karaoke bar washes over Jungkook as he pushes through the crowd towards the room where Jimin and the rest of his friends are. After a long week of grueling work, he’s looking forward to a night of drinking and singing.
But nerves jitter through him tonight, setting him buzzing with uncertainty. It’s been a while since he’s seen his ex, Taehyung, but as Jimin’s other best friend, of course Jungkook was bound to run into him eventually.
Music blasts from the private room as strobe lights illuminate everything in color as soon as Jungkook steps inside.
Then he notices him.
Taehyung bathed in a gilded radiance. Hair now golden from its usual chocolate locks, a gold sequence top paired with black leather pants and boots, his ears cuffed in more gold, his skin looking smooth and sun-kissed.
He looks beautiful.
Still, the thing that draws Jungkook's attention the most is the delicate gold chain that Taehyung wears around his neck. A gift given to him by Jungkook for their last anniversary.
That was a few months ago.
Now, as Jungkook closes the door behind himself, the music now muffled inside the small space, he can't help but think how much Taehyung looks like Helios himself. Gorgeous, bright, and loved as everyone gathers around to worship him while he sings.
“Hey.” Jimin greets him with an arm slung around him. “Glad you could make it.”
“Yeah, me too.” Furtive eyes glance back at Taehyung, their eyes meeting for a moment before Jungkook turns back and offers Jimin a tight-lipped smile. Now that he’s in Taehyung's company, his heart is beating twice as fast as usual, plagued with doubts.
Should he have come?
Jimin returns the smile, his eyes filled with understanding. “How about a drink, hm?”
About an hour later, after he’s had a few drinks, the alcohol settles him, and he starts feeling relaxed. He no longer feels on edge about seeing his ex-boyfriend after months of not speaking. Months of not being able to feel the heat of caramel skin pressed against his.
Most of the night he and Taehyung barely spoke, exchanging only polite smiles and glances. They have been sitting on opposite sides of the room, their friends acting as buffers between them as they take turns on the mic. Jungkook's heart gives a little extra flutter every time he hears Taehyung's high giggles float through the room. He can’t help but glance over to take in that gorgeous boxy grin, then quickly looks away for fear of being caught staring.
Out of the corner of his eye, he catches sight of the radiant glow surrounding Taehyung as he takes center stage to sing another song. With his customary grin now absent, Taehyung cues the song and stands in front of their friends with a more solemn demeanor. Yellow strobe lights flash and illuminate his face, highlighting his stoic beauty.
And then—he sings:
You left me
Took those memories with you
With the syrupy melody of the song as a backdrop, his baritone voice fills the room and gently floats into Jungkook's ears. His attention is immediately drawn to Taehyung, his eyes lingering on his sun-like silhouette before they meet Taehyung’s and quickly avert to the drink in his hands.
Like the brilliant sun, Taehyung's beauty is too much for his eyes. Jungkook tries not to look directly at him, yet he can’t stop staring into that golden glow as he sings about a lost love. Someone he wants back. Begs for him. Pleads.
I wish you would love me again
No, I don't want nobody else
Jungkook continues to stare at his drink, clutching it tightly as if it will help ground him, knowing full well who Taehyung sings about. And it shatters him into a million stars, so close to his sun yet too far away to reach.
Am I thе only one like this?
Are you okay if I'm with somеone else?
Let's take it way back, slowly
Make it feel better, yeah, make it forever
He had come to love Taehyung’s honeyed voice, but now it carries with it a piercing sorrow, every note dripping with longing.
Don't say it's okay
Said I'm alright, said I'll be fine
I'm sorry, they're all lies
Taking a deeper drink of his liquor, Jungkook feels stuck between wanting to run up to Taehyung and running away.
Please don't leave
Please don't go, so far away
With another glance, the flashing lights land on his face, and another meeting of those aurate eyes, like sunbeams that burn right through him as Taehyung croons to Jungkook in a melancholy lullaby. Jungkook’s palms begin to sweat as so many regrets fill his mind.
"Why are you giving up on us?"
He will never forget how broken Taehyung sounded when he uttered them. Words that still haunt him from their breakup. Jungkook closes his eyes in a futile attempt to shield himself from Taehyung's heartfelt singing. Unfortunately, all that does is keep Taehyung's pleading eyes ablaze behind his closed lids.
If Jungkook would just take some time out to sit with his feelings, he knows he would cry over how much he misses Taehyung.
Even now.
How could he not? Taehyung is brilliant, kind, and every bit the man of his dreams. But sometimes in life, things just don’t work out. Jungkook's hectic work schedule back then prevented it from happening. He just couldn’t make it work, no matter how many times they tried.
There was too much overtime, too much traveling, too much crying and arguing, and too little of them. It was unfair to drag Taehyung along to continue in a relationship where he couldn’t make time for him, and so Jungkook ended it, thinking he was doing Taehyung a favor.
Although they haven’t been together in months, Jungkook knows in his heart that he’s still madly in love with Taehyung. And that realization might hurt more than it did the day they broke up. It’s terrifying to realize that the love he’s felt for Taehyung never truly went away.
Another glance. Eyes meet, lock, and then pull away as Taehyung sings the last of it and then storms away from the mic and out of the room.
Blinking back unbidden tears, Jungkook maintains his fixed gaze at the empty spot where Taehyung used to be. An elbow nudges him in the ribs, and he finally tears his gaze away.
“Go get him.”
Jimin’s sweet voice snaps him back to reality. He finishes the last of his drink and slams the glass on the table as he hurries out the door.
“Tae, wait!”
He promptly follows the flash of gold and black as it dashes out of the karaoke bar.
“Tae—”
Jungkook grabs his wrist and leads him down an alley to a more private area. His eyes dart over Taehyung, not knowing where to start.
Taehyung looks so small when he speaks. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Jungkook. I didn’t mean to do that. I just—you showed up, and then everything came back—and I tried. I tried so hard to forget—but you—and I missed you—I still do, and—”
Taehyung is trembling, his glittering sequin top reflecting on his face like a disco ball. Golden tears slide down his cheeks, and Jungkook can’t just stand there and not do what comes so naturally to him. So he holds him, trying to comfort him the way he used to. The way Taehyung loved.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Engulfing him in his arms, Jungkook feels Taehyung’s body begin to relax. He lays his head on Jungkook’s shoulder, wiping his eyes on Jungkook’s shirt. “Baby,” he dares whisper into Taehyung’s hair, “I’ve missed you too. So much.”
Taehyung sniffs, pulling back to see Jungkook’s face. “You have?”
Round eyes stare back at Jungkook. They have lost all their former heat and are now nothing more than puddles of warm, melted chocolate.
“I have.” Jungkook's smile is tinged with sadness as he thinks of all the wasted time spent apart. He brushes back a strand of Taehyung’s blonde hair, still holding him tight against his chest. “I’m sorry I gave up so fast. I’m sorry I didn’t fight for us.”
Long fingers wrap around Jungkook’s waist, clutching at his shirt. “C-can we go somewhere to talk?”
With his heart pounding harder against his ribs, Jungkook nods, realizing that this is his second chance. A chance he never even thought he’d ever get.
“Yeah, let’s go. But first—Can I?”
With lips between teeth, Taehyung grins and pulls Jungkook into a soft kiss. Jungkook’s body buzzes with life when he tastes Taehyung's favorite fruity drink on his lips, igniting Jungkook’s memories of so many nights spent just like this. Meeting friends for drinks until they’re both too giggly and too touchy, punch-drunk on their love, to stay any longer. Taking tipsy cab rides back home where they spend the night wrapped in each other, not caring about leaving early.
Jungkook cups Taehyung's face, pushing him against the brick wall and eliciting a soft groan from him. He missed his lips, missed Taehyung so damn much. There's desperation there, from both of them, when they both eagerly grasp at each other, wanting to be closer. Months of separation aren't enough to douse the flames fueling them now.
When they separate, foreheads coming together and breathing pleasantly ragged, Taehyung's smile is radiant—bright and sparkly around the edges.
And Jungkook doesn’t hesitate to run headfirst into that beaming sun.