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yunho can’t remember the first time he’s adored mingi in every little thing that he does. or even just have the thought that anything that mingi does will surely do wonders to yunho.
is it that one time when mingi was laughing his ass out loud with wooyoung? when yunho couldn't have done anything, not even bother to understand what they're laughing at, but just wonder how much happiness can burst out of a person that yunho started absorbing some of it out of mingi. smiling more to himself, rather than smiling because of the joke. his little cloud shambled, he worries that he might consume it all. he held his chest, stopping himself from smiling to look at mingi, afraid that the happiness seeping out of him will run out—but the worry immediately vanished when he saw mingi shifts his eyes from wooyoung to look at him, eyes glossy of tears from laughing too much.
yunho thinks he's holding the sun inside his body.
or at that one time at fansight event when somebody said that mingi wasn't having that much of lighting on his seat. yunho tried to joke, made a face in front of mingi's face, saying he is mingi's light. yunho might be joking but without a doubt, he really was mingi's light. the way mingi's face brightened up instantly seeing how much yunho could do to make him smile. how yunho was the one that started the joke, yet he was the one covering his face out of shyness. mingi still smiling so wide, his nose scrunching from how much he's stopping his giggles. yunho took a peak in between his fingers that was covering his face, seeing mingi still smiling so brightly. yunho took the last bit of his confidence (and dignity, at this point) and tried making a face in front of mingi again. this time, mingi closed his eyes, then opened them up again, nose still scrunching. yunho took his face away again, kept it close to his hands. he’s kept his giggles to himself and tried to look away from mingi, instead, looking around the fans and the members with his cheeks still flushed with subtle pink.
yunho supposes mingi didn't need that much lighting, for he is the light himself.
or when in that vlog where mingi was talking to the staff, asking them if they’re happy with their lives, asking if they’re happy with what they’re doing, where they are as of that moment. transferring the subject back to their manager when he was satisfied with the staff’s answer to his question, asking the same thing to their manager— if they were happy as of the moment, if they were happy with what they’re doing as of the moment. mingi stopped asking questions and the vlog cut to that part when hongjoong closed the door in front of him. it didn’t make it into the released vlog but when the door closed in front of mingi, he had this peaceful look on his face— as if he was happy himself with where he was, with what he was doing as of that moment. it took a lot of struggle, of holding himself back, yunho trying not to ask that same question to mingi, cause yunho knows now’s not the right time for that. maybe tomorrow, maybe soon, maybe… never, who knows? but if somebody would ask yunho the same thing, the same questions mingi asked to their staff, yunho would not take a blink or even a second to answer yes. as long as he’s with mingi, he’s happy. as long as he has mingi by his side, he’s happy.
besides, he would think it’d be a rhetorical question because mingi himself is the epitome of happiness for yunho.
and in that one wanteez episode where they were at the playground, yunho immediately thought that mingi would be happy in this episode because playgrounds and arcades was one of the many things that mingi loved. he remembered that one time when yunho was waiting for mingi to finish school that day, he was waiting for him on the playground near the train station because he knows that that specific playground was mingi’s favorite. not even twenty minutes later, fifteen year-old mingi appeared beside him on the swing, some of his hair sticking to his sweat-soaked forehead. yunho remembered how nothing had changed in mingi, the way he laughs with his mouth wide open, or the way his eyes crinkles when he smiles, or even the shape of his mouth, forming a square everytime he smiles wide at something he finds so funny, just mostly anything that wooyoung do is already enough for mingi. yunho totally forgot that they were in the middle of filming and he didn’t realize mingi was already beside him not until he poked yunho on the shoulder, asking him if he was okay. of course, when will yunho ever be not okay? he just smiled to mingi and told him he’s fine, just remembered something from the past, their past.
they were already an hour into the filming, and it’s already the second game they’ve played, yunho thinks (he’s not paying that much of attention.) it was time for mingi’s team to be on the attackers’ side. mingi pulled his ball cap down into his eyes when he decided to attack. little did mingi know that yunho had his eyes trained on him since they switched places. so when mingi took a few steps, yunho did not hesitate to throw himself into mingi, bringing his arms around him while yelling “let’s die together!” with the biggest smile on his face. the whole team laughed because that would mean that both of them would be disqualified in the game but that did not matter to yunho. maybe the team didn’t take it seriously and laughed it off but yunho did mean it. if his time comes, he wishes he’s still beside mingi, taking his last breaths with him. he wasn’t sad or anything, to the point that he wanted to die early or to think of dying in general at an early age. yunho just thought that he wanted to spend his last days on earth with mingi. it just… felt right for yunho.
it’s just that yunho thought it's the only way to go, to be beside mingi.
yunho just loved calling mingi ‘his princess’ . the fans loved it of course, just the mere thought that a member of a boy group calling his team member ‘princess' would surely perk up their fans’ attention, and non-fans alike. that it became a known thing where yunho’s the only one who calls mingi ‘his princess’. well, yunho ponders why the others can’t. is it because of his tall stature that people might think it’d be absurd to call someone so tall, princess ? or is it his presence on stage, that makes them think that “him? a princess? no way.” but sure, yunho’s sure no one would understand why he’s so insistent with the endearment. yunho would surely tell them that they don’t know mingi that well to not do it, because of course, i’m the only one who knows him like i do. that he can’t stop himself from kissing mingi— his princess, at the back of his hand whenever he has the chance to. that even in a performance of one of their songs, yunho did it in front of atiny’s that cracked the whole arena with screams when it was caught on the big screen behind them. mingi only smiles sheepishly, his mic still in front of his mouth, continuing his part and letting go of yunho’s hand. yunho immediately missed mingi’s hand but the warm feeling of his lips touching the back of mingi’s hand lingered.
yunho continued the whole performance while smiling so wide, his heart overflowing with warm feeling. yunho couldn’t identify what type of feeling he’s felt but one thing’s for sure, yunho loved it.
or that vibrating feeling whenever he sees someone’s banner in the crowd saying they wanted to see the ‘yungi spin’. it’s been done several times, in different stops even. yunho thinks they do it so often that he thinks at least one atiny would request it at every stop they go to. but yunho’s not the type to hate it when he sees it, instead he loves it, his smile growing wide while getting mingi’s attention to do it. that one action that separates them from everyone that shows how close they are, how much they love to do it every time. the smiles on their faces are so evident in every video yunho has seen on the internet. he didn’t think mingi would love it as much as he did. but he started opening his eyes while doing the spin after he saw that one video compilation of them where mingi mirrors the biggest smile yunho has ever seen, and so he has to see it for himself. and there it was, that one stop at chile, yunho got the opportunity when he saw one atiny requesting the spin. he poked mingi on his shoulder, unconsciously interrupting mingi’s interaction with an atiny when he pointed to mingi the banner. he sees it, how a smile appeared on mingi’s face when he’s read the banner, that glint in his eyes when mingi looked at him like he already knows what to do, his tight-lipped smile to yunho that brought his heart to the sky. them bumping heads, yunho saw, even with his head tilted down, how mingi’s smile grew wider, especially after they spun their heads, and looked at each other’s eyes again after the ordeal, yunho saw it. now, he knows he wasn’t the only one.
yunho thinks he can do the spin a hundred times more as long as it’s mingi he’s doing it with.
or that one time when mingi told him that he has planned everything he wants to do with yunho since they were in 9th grade. it came up when they were arguing about how yunho did a live with wooyoung instead of him, how he felt “morally betrayed” by yunho. but yunho thought otherwise, it was mingi who he thought didn't want to do it with him. really, it was purely a misunderstanding, just a lack of communication. but that very phrase struck yunho. he didn’t think mingi would say it, or even mean it. it made him feel a lot that totally left him speechless, instead just looked at mingi intently. how he didn’t think mingi would feel the same, nor have the slightest idea how mingi felt for yunho and their friendship. nor gave him the idea how deep mingi was in this friendship, just as how deep yunho was into this . it gave yunho more reason to be in love with his best friend. gave him all the more reason to not let go of him now.
yunho decides he will keep him forever.
yunho just loved looking into mingi’s eyes whenever he was talking— whether it be something serious or something so nonsensical, yunho wouldn’t hesitate to look him in the eye. there’s just something about mingi that takes yunho’s attention to him, solely for him. he looks at him like he made the sun, like he hung all the stars in the sky. like mingi did all the work for the sky to be so clear, full of thin, white clouds. but everytime yunho looks at mingi, it takes him not even a millisecond to look away once mingi’s eyes are on him. he doesn’t like it. no, definitely, it’s not that yunho hates mingi’s eyes, instead he loves it, how his pupils disappear for a moment everytime he smiles so wide, yunho loves it when mingi does it. he just doesn’t like it when mingi’s eyes are on him because his eyes will tell of the things he dared not to say. afraid that his eyes will definitely betray him once he makes eye contact with mingi’s. because as much as he wants mingi’s eyes to look for him every time, he just didn’t want mingi to know all of the things that yunho has to say to mingi, in all shape and form. that one may ask, on what level do you love mingi? an infinite level. yunho thinks no words can better describe how he feels for mingi yet there are a lot of words, adjectives, phrases that he wanted to say, to let others know what he thinks, however none of those comes out or even makes sense.
yunho doesn’t think he needs any more words to describe how he feels, because yunho knows his actions speak louder than his voice.