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A soft exhale. A softer rumbling hum. Whispering of pale blue sheets. While adrift the drowsy ocean, Wonwoo feels strong arms slide around him. Purring, he leans back against that broad chest, and melts in the protective embrace. Like a bird lost in a coal mine, a breath that's been trapped for too long escapes. Wonwoo revels in the familiar heartbeat steadily drumming against his spine. The poisonous storm brewing inside of Wonwoo's chest for days begins to quell. A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth.
"...my god, you're back." Sleep roughens Wonwoo's voice, but nothing douses the glimmering joy. A breathless laugh tumbles out. Blinking blearily, Wonwoo turns around. "Welcome hom-"
Mingyu isn't here.
Wonwoo's alone.
Daylight has never felt colder. As the atmosphere grows suffocating, Wonwoo silently stares at the empty space beside him. His hand roams over the bed as if he can feel warm echoes of Mingyu's body heat. Fingertips trace over where the outline of Mingyu would be. Wonwoo lays at a crime scene, his callused fingers smudging crudely drawn chalk lines. As Wonwoo stares at the empty space, his sight blurs not from bleary sleep. But the slow rise of simmering tears.
Wonwoo covers his eyes with a hand. "...Christ." He scoffs under his breath with a laugh. It lacks any of his usual warmth, and crackles at the edges with abrasiveness.
As Wonwoo breathes in slow and deep, a cluster of venomous thorns scrape down his windpipe, and puncture his lungs. Tension sets his body in rigor mortis as Wonwoo desperately tries to keep silent. Attempts at steadying his breath fall in vain when anxiety smashes the metronome against the wall. Earthquake tremors shake Wonwoo's brittle bones. But when his other hand grips the front of his shirt, right above his chest, his fingers burning with the reminder of how this white shirt belongs to Mingyu-- a sob shatters, pouring out of his mouth like an oil spill.
"For fuck's sake-" Another sob crawls its way out, ravaging destruction on his organs, his weary skeleton. Wonwoo's chest caves in on itself. Scalding tears burn his fingers and palm, but Wonwoo can't pry his hand away. Even while alone in the empty bedroom, Wonwoo can't stand his own tears. Maybe shielding his eyes, and denying the morning light can make him invisible. Even if only for a moment.
Pathetic. Shameful. Pitiful. Unraveling into a wreck just because Wonwoo's lonely is fucking ridiculous. Losing appetite, fighting spontaneous tears, and fading away just because Wonwoo misses someone is absurd. And dreaming about Mingyu holding him in bed is downright delirious.
Mingyu's been out of the country, and filming for one of Korea's highest acclaimed travel shows. Like everyone in SEVENTEEN, Wonwoo's brimming with pride. Mingyu has such a heart of gold, always gives his best at anything, lights up the room with his playful humor, and takes care of everyone. How can viewers not love him? Wonwoo's thrilled that Mingyu gets to embark on this adventure, and sends him off with a kiss by the front door.
"I'll call and text you everyday." Even after the drawn out kiss, Mingyu keeps giving Wonwoo smaller pecks. Grinning, Mingyu holds his partner close with an arm around his waist. "Gonna spam the Hell out of the group chat with pics."
"Really, babe?" Wonwoo turns his cheek towards Mingyu, so his boyfriend can keep kissing him. Meanwhile Wonwoo checks Mingyu's backpack for the millionth time to make sure he has all the essentials. "The crew's gonna have a heart attack if you give spoilers."
"No spoilers! Just gonna send obscure selfies. Artistic and abstract." Winking, Mingyu smiles in amusement. "Making sure you guys know I haven't been kidnapped." He laughs as Wonwoo lightly swats his arm.
"Nobody's kidnapping you." Wonwoo slides something onto Mingyu's wrist. "Because you're mine."
Scarlet dusts over Mingyu's face. The blush darkens three shades, and cascades down his neck once Mingyu looks at his wrist. Mingyu holds his breath while Wonwoo secures on a leather bracelet. Black and red strands loosely intertwine. Simple and elegant, yet bold. Just the kind of minimalist style that Mingyu adores.
Mingyu's eyes widen at seeing the same bracelet on Wonwoo's wrist. "We match?!"
"Mmhm." Wonwoo raises his partner's hand. Closing his eyes, Wonwoo kisses the underside of his wrist. Lips curve into a smile against the tender skin and veins. "We match."
Hand cradling the back of Wonwoo's head, Mingyu surges in for a kiss. It's slow, deep, searing. Wonwoo returns the kiss with fervor, arms wrapping around Mingyu's shoulders, his hand getting lost in soft hair. Once the kiss breaks, they rest their foreheads together.
"Thank you, hyung." Mingyu's eyes shine with exhilarating light. "I love it. Gonna always keep it with me." Mingyu kisses Wonwoo again, softer this time, then laughs shyly. "Already missing you."
"You're gonna be back before you know it. I'll be here, waiting for you to come home." Smiling warmly, Wonwoo tucks strands behind Mingyu's ear, and fixes on his black baseball hat. "Make sure you eat and sleep well. Or else I'll fly out there myself, and fight the producers." Wonwoo's hand rests on the side of Mingyu's face and neck. Leaning up, Wonwoo kisses him one more time. "I love you."
Mingyu beams at Wonwoo, eyes soft and bright. "I love you too, hyung."
Embracing each other tightly, Mingyu buries his face into Wonwoo's neck, and Wonwoo kisses Mingyu's shoulder. They breathe together. Inhale. Exhale. Then let go. Wonwoo watches Mingyu head out, grinning as he waves Wonwoo goodbye, I love you, I'll see you soon.
Dim eyes on his bracelet, Wonwoo watches the light grow from pale, almost colorless blue to warm gold. His arm rests where Mingyu would lay his head. Like rafters of a decrepit, abandoned cathedral, Wonwoo's rib bones decay on the brink of collapse. Something insidious and starving gnaws through the spiderweb of arteries, not giving a damn how Wonwoo's numbing out from the excruciating heartache. Maybe the loneliness, the emptiness scorches more this morning, since it's one of those rare days where schedules start in the afternoon.
The impulse to get up and be ready before sunrise is a habit for Wonwoo. But it's a habit Mingyu breaks on days like this by cuddling Wonwoo, nuzzling into his neck and shoulder. He'll squeeze laughter out of Wonwoo, and unleash a second wave attack of kisses. Murmuring soft words, Wonwoo will retaliate with his hands, his lips. Mingyu's face aches with a smile as Wonwoo relentlessly smothers him with affection. Holding onto each other, they'll doze in and out of sleep.
Or Wonwoo will languidly kiss last night's love bites on Mingyu's inner thighs, revel in how gorgeous Mingyu unravels as Wonwoo wakes the man with his worshipping mouth. It may lead to Mingyu clinging onto him as Wonwoo slowly thrusts inside, their hips falling into rhythm, the motions unhurried and sweet. Or maybe Wonwoo will pin their clasped hands on the bed, eyes never straying from Mingyu while Wonwoo rides him. Melding kisses and whispered confessions accompany the easy, soft morning intimacy.
Ricocheting laughter in a shared shower. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Wonwoo embracing Mingyu from behind, watching his partner flip pancakes. While memory begins to play the film reel of Mingyu smiling over his shoulder, Wonwoo's phone suddenly goes off. Only one person has that special ringtone.
Like the day's early sunrays breaking over the horizon, Wonwoo smiles brightly. He snatches the phone off the nightside table. "Hey, love."
"Hey, babe."
Wonwoo jolts upright. "Mingyu, what's wrong?" After all these years, Wonwoo can hear it right away in Mingyu's voice when something's going on.
"So, uhm--" Mingyu heaves a long, measured sigh that breaks off into a shaky laugh. "Some stuff happened with the shoot. Good things! I can't go into it, because of spoilers. But-" Mingyu's voice strains with a troubled exhale. "I'm really sorry, hyung. We're staying here a little longer."
Wonwoo's heart plummets into glacier waters. But the shrapnel pieces of his heart gets thrown onto the backburner. "Sweetheart, you don't need to apologize," Wonwoo hushes softly. "But are you okay? And everyone else?"
"Oh, yeah, we're all okay." Mingyu chuckles in reassurance, but some tiredness still seeps through. "Like I'm grateful to be doing this. We're filming awesome content." The way Mingyu inhales points towards him running a hand roughly through his hair. "But I miss you a lot, hyung. And I worry about you. Are you eating okay? You're actually sleeping decent hours, right?"
Wonwoo grips the bedsheets, sky blue fabric twisting in his fingers. A tsunami wave of acidic tears crash in. Fuck. Here's Mingyu working hard on a longterm shoot overseas. But what Mingyu cares about asking is how Wonwoo's doing. Wonwoo incinerates alive from how he doesn't deserve this unconditional love.
Breathing in silently, Wonwoo digs in deep, and scrapes up years of experience. Not only as an idol who needs to smile brilliantly on camera, no matter how heavy the physical and emotional exhaustion may weigh. But as a child growing up with mastery of hiding any fears and anxieties, so Wonwoo doesn't burden his loved ones.
"You're really sweet, babe. Thanks for asking." Wonwoo dials up the warm, lulling notes in his voice, since he knows that timbre and cadence comforts Mingyu. "And yeah, I'm doing well, eating, sleeping, all that stuff." Smiling, Wonwoo blinks furiously to hold back tears. He fights to hold the smile, so Mingyu can hear it through his voice. "I-" Wonwoo grips the sheets tighter. Shoulders shaking, a sob violently scratches the inner side of his sternum. "I miss you too." His vision burns out all colors and lines with blurry tears. Wonwoo smiles warmer. "I'm so proud of you, Mingyu. Make sure you take care of yourself too, okay?"
Mingyu's flustered laugh carries over the line, and slams a fist through Wonwoo's chest. Still smiling, Wonwoo swallows the mouthful of bone splinters and blood.
"I will, hyung. And when I'm back, we ca-" Mingyu's voice cuts off. Flickers of a background conversation. Mingyu's distant voice saying he'll be right over. It regains clarity as Mingyu quickly tells Wonwoo, "Oh, fuck, sorry, I need to go. But I'll be home soon, babe. Love you!"
"I love you too, Min-" Wonwoo barely gets the words out before the guillotine hush of silence.
Crisp lines of the sheets smudge and blur. But Wonwoo doesn't feel the scalding burn of tears. He's too deeply submerged in arctic waters. Lowering the phone, Wonwoo sees the call ended. The phone flashes over to the home screen, showing Mingyu's broad back as he tugs Wonwoo along by joined hands.
Slowly, Wonwoo lays back down. Even without Mingyu on the phone, or another soul in this too empty, too cold, too big room, Wonwoo fights to not cry. But when Wonwoo only finds the ghost of Mingyu's scent on his pillow, a quiet sob breaks through.
Does Wonwoo tackle this messy, hideous, volatile disaster of emotions?
Hell no.
That's what Mingyu does. Rip off the bandaid. Run towards the burning building. Sometimes, Mingyu may dwell silently on what haunts him for some time, but sooner or later, he dives in headfirst. That raw, beautiful bravery is just one of many reasons Wonwoo falls in love with Mingyu.
Meanwhile Wonwoo digs open graves for his ghosts, and makes sure there's room for his own body. He'd rather bury himself alive with these secrets than reveal how frightened and anxious he truly is. As a child, Wonwoo hurls himself leagues deep into his studies. Now as an idol, Wonwoo throws himself endlessly into work. Often in the form of practice.
Wonwoo's the first in the studio, and the last one to leave. He trades what sparse time there is for eating, sleeping, gaming, reading, being a human being in exchange for practicing. This is when he locks into being idol Wonwoo with laser focus goals. Learn the choreo, master the choreo, hardwire every move into his muscles, stop missing Mingyu, don't leave even an ounce of breathing room to think about the growing, festering void in his chest, fuck loneliness, to hell with being goddamned empty and sad, practice, practice again, practice more, more, more--
"Alright, guys!" Grinning, Seungcheol claps his hands. "We're done for today. Thanks for working so hard, and staying with it to the end. Really proud of you."
Even with the room full of panting, and more than half of them sprawled out on the ground, SEVENTEEN lets out a chorus of cheers. When Seungcheol mentions ordering their faves for dinner, everyone's bolting towards the door.
Except Wonwoo. Breathing heavily, he stays in his place in front of the mirror wall. "Please leave the music on," Wonwoo says before anyone can hit the button.
"Wait, you're staying? Again?" Soonyoung exchanges alarmed looks with their groupmates. He tries to lighten the tense atmosphere with a laugh. "Jeez, nobody works harder than our Wonwoo. But how about you take a break? C'mon, let's go eat!"
Shaking his head, Wonwoo gives a reassuring smile through his reflection. "Thank you, but I'm not hungry. I just want to work on this a bit more."
"You've totally got this choreo down!" Soonyoung gestures wildly with his hands. "Like you've had it down for a while, and- and y'know, it's not good to over practice-"
Panting, Wonwoo keeps his eyes on the mirror. He doesn't recognize the shadows clouding over his gaze. But it doesn't matter. When Wonwoo practices, that catastrophe of yearning stays locked up longer. "Just a little more." As Wonwoo starts running through the motions again, a tremor ripples across his forearm. "--please."
Tension sets Wonwoo's bones rigid when he sees Seungcheol approaching from the corner of his eye. Wonwoo braces himself. Suddenly, Chan steps in front of Seungcheol with an appeasing smile. Guilt backhands Wonwoo hard enough across the face to make him look away. How badly is Wonwoo fucking up that their beloved maknae has to intervene?
Wonwoo isn't trying to start anything. Or disappoint, frustrate, upset anyone. But he can't go home, he can't go back to that empty apartment, that cold bed. Noxious dread dripping with fear pools in Wonwoo's abdomen. He doesn't have it in him these days to debate with anyone. Not that Wonwoo enjoys being confrontational in the first place.
But already Wonwoo knows Seungcheol won't yell at him, or even lecture him. Instead Seungcheol will throw an arm around Wonwoo's shoulders, and say how he's craving one of Wonwoo's comfort foods. It's the kindness that will shatter Wonwoo, break open the dam of held back tears.
Like earlier this afternoon when Joshua grabs Wonwoo's coffee from his favorite cafe, strokes the back of his head, and murmurs that he's here for Wonwoo. Joshua holds Wonwoo close, letting Wonwoo hide his face against Joshua's shoulder.
Or even something seemingly ordinary as Jeonghan beckoning with his hand for Wonwoo's glasses, making a microfiber cloth appear out of thin air, and cleaning the lenses. Jeonghan doesn't comment on what's clearly tear streaks, only playfully tsks Wonwoo for looking through layers of dust.
Wonwoo loves everyone in SEVENTEEN. But if his heart's already breaking from the thought of someday losing Mingyu, it'll fucking obliterate Wonwoo to lose anyone in the group. Wonwoo means to return Joshua's embrace, but fear makes him step back. He wants to banter with Jeonghan, but fear chokes his voice.
When did love grow so terrifying?
Wonwoo reels away from almost spiraling when Chan walks into his line of sight. Chan falls into the beat, and flows through the choreo with him. For a moment, Wonwoo's distracted by how Chan dances. He's not only beyond technically skilled and adept. But Chan reveals his whole heart when he dances, thrives in this breathtaking expression of human vulnerability.
Once their eyes meet in the mirror, Chan smiles. It's the bright, easy smile Chan's known for. But tonight, it doesn't reach Chan's eyes. The light in those browns eyes extinguish a little dimmer.
Chan pauses midway in a sequence, then lowers his arms. Laughing breathlessly, Chan confesses, "I miss Seungkwan hyung."
Wonwoo's heart seizes at the quiet tremor wavering through those words. Even just how Chan's voice falls to a near whisper unfurls an ache inside of Wonwoo's chest.
It's not only Mingyu who's away filming that show.
Seungkwan's with him too.
"And I miss him even more after I got the call." Chan walks over to turn off the music, then retrieves their waters. "I'm just glad hyung and everyone else is okay. And I totally get things happen with shoots. But--" Returning to Wonwoo's side, Chan sits down, one knee drawn, other leg stretched out. His breath shudders for reasons other than physical exertion. Chan holds out the water to Wonwoo. The smile strains. "I really want him back."
As Wonwoo accepts the water with a thanks, he tousles Chan's hair. Chan tries to hold his smile, but it falters. Wonwoo's chest tightens. Who else plays with Chan's hair more than Seungkwan? Wonwoo sits down beside Chan, and wraps an arm around his shoulders.
Chan grins ruefully. "The other day, when I ordered pizza, I made sure it had sweet potato crust. It wasn't until I was eating that I remembered Seungkwan hyung isn't here." Laughing, Chan leans against Wonwoo. His fingers twine around the hoodie drawstrings, then suddenly clench into a tight fist. "Started crying. But I kept eating anyways."
Wonwoo rubs Chan's arm soothingly. His gaze falls upon the floor. "I teared up making ramyeon last night."
Wonwoo cooks the most basic ramyeon known to man. Noodles and spice powder. Most times he doesn't add the packet of vegetable flakes, since they don't do much for him. If Wonwoo's feeling adventurous, maybe he'll add an egg.
Meanwhile Mingyu will chop vegetables, adjust the flavoring, work that cooking magic to make ordinary instant ramyeon into a five-star gourmet meal. But Mingyu still insists Wonwoo's ramyeon is the best. Whenever Wonwoo cooks, Mingyu squeezes him in a back hug, and sings praises between shoulder kisses.
Gaze empty and tired, Wonwoo stares at his bracelet. He idly plays with the intertwining red and black strands. "Is it okay to miss someone this much?"
"Of course, it's okay." Chan links an arm around Wonwoo's elbow, and hugs it close. "That's what we do with people we love. And-" Grinning, Chan gently nudges Wonwoo with his head. "Seungkwan hyung and Mingyu hyung will be back soon!"
"But what about one day when they don't come back?"
In the mirror, Wonwoo witnesses Chan's smile fall faster than ever. The color drains from his face, and his eyes grow wide with cold horror. Wonwoo's tempted to fucking throw himself out the window. Damnit, fuck. This is why Wonwoo doesn't want to open up. The nature of his thoughts are poisonous, parasitic. He'll break people's hearts, and curse them with ghosts without ever meaning to.
"Sorry." Chest heavy and eyes darting, Wonwoo tries slipping out of Chan's hold. "I didn't mean to upset and scare you, I should go-"
"Stay." Chan hugs Wonwoo's arm in a vice grip. It's almost a bruising hold, but Chan refuses to let Wonwoo go. "Do you mean like..." Uncertainty flickers across Chan's face. "If any of us broke up?"
"No, not like that." Wonwoo shakes his head. He places the water bottle on the ground, and draws up his knees. "Of course, it'd fucking destroy me if Mingyu and I broke up. I want everything with Mingyu, our future, our whole lives. But-" Inhaling back a sharp sob, Wonwoo shields his eyes with a trembling hand. "I was thinking... what if...? Like- like something more-- final?"
He doesn't want to say it. He can't. It already decimates Wonwoo to just carry those words in his mind. To think there may be a day when Mingyu and Wonwoo don't stand under the same sky. Or no phone calls go through. Or there's only ramyeon made for one. It's fucking torturous to grieve someone who's still alive as if they're gone. Wonwoo doesn't want to stab Chan with anymore rusted knives than he already has.
"I'm going to keep loving Seungkwan hyung," Chan declares, squeezing Wonwoo's arm.
Blinking back tears, Wonwoo lowers his hand until it's only hovering over his mouth. He turns his head to see Chan wiping at his eyes. Chan's cheek presses into Wonwoo's shoulder, but he still doesn't let go of his arm.
"And I'm going to keep loving you, Wonwoo hyung. And Mingyu hyung. And everyone else." Chan's voice wavers and splinters, but the words keep charging forward with something burning bright. "I- I'm scared too, hyung. I don't-- I don't ever wanna lose anyone. Especially not like that. But- no matter how much it'll hurt later--" Chan looks up at Wonwoo, the smile no longer straining. It shines warmly, bringing out the glimmer of tears in his eyes. "You're all worth it. And I know Mingyu hyung feels that way about you too."
Eyes softening, Wonwoo silently marvels at how brave Chan is. He dries those damp tears with his sleeve. "I'm sorry, Chan." Wonwoo holds him tighter. "You're comforting me so much. But I should be the one taking care of you-"
Wonwoo blinks when Chan suddenly pokes his cheek. As a laugh startles out of him, Wonwoo feels Chan's finger dip right into his dimple. The laughter only grows warmer.
"No wonder Mingyu hyung gushes about you being so cute all the time." Fondness lights up Chan's eyes, then sparks into playful mischief. "Like in last month's interview."
"Oh, god-" Wonwoo almost staggers from the tidal wave blush. SEVENTEEN doesn't hesitate to send Wonwoo clips of that interview whenever it surfaces on the Internet. Wonwoo playfully pokes Chan's side to make him giggle. "Same for Seungkwan. You guys broke the Internet with that live."
"Hyung!" Face burning, Chan collapses on Wonwoo with all his weight. "Gosh, don't remind me. Or else I'm gonna like spontaneously combust or something."
Wonwoo laughs. He almost doesn't recognize the laugh as his own. It's been so long, since hearing his voice carry genuine, real joy. Wonwoo holds Chan close to his chest. Although it's endearing to squeeze another fit of giggles out of Chan, Wonwoo feels more of the subtle sharpness of Chan's bones.
Wonwoo runs a hand through Chan's hair. "Think we can make it in time to eat with everyone?"
Sitting up, Chan lights up brightly. "Yeah! And they probably ordered for us anyways." Chan jumps onto his feet, and draws out his phone. "I'll text the guys we're on our way."
Wonwoo blinks at the white cat charm hanging from Chan's phone. He smiles to himself, recalling how Seungkwan fights against all odds to get this charm for Chan. From the handful of charms Seungkwan got from the vending toy machine, two black cat charms were given to Mingyu and Wonwoo. Even during pre-debut, nobody doubts for a moment that Mingyu and Wonwoo should match.
"Hyung, they have chicken!" Beaming, Chan holds out his hand. "They even got fries. But don't worry, there's plenty of rice too."
Wonwoo chuckles as he takes Chan's hand, and stands up. As they head out, Wonwoo ruffles Chan's hair some more, and hugs him against his side.
The pillow is now just a pillow.
No matter how Wonwoo presses his face against it, and breathes in deep, he can't find any traces of Mingyu. It's been long since the ocean breeze shampoo fades away. Wonwoo takes one of Mingyu's shirts with him to bed. The pale forest green shirt originally belongs to Wonwoo, but Mingyu claims anything Wonwoo wears during GAM3 BO1 lives. Mingyu's worn this shirt more than Wonwoo ever has.
For nights, Wonwoo lays in bed like an opposum pretending to be roadkill. Don't make a sound. Don't cry. Don't break down.
Tonight, Wonwoo buries his face into Mingyu's shirt, and cries. Hard. Loud. Terror ruptures. Pompeii buries him alive, but he's alone, he won't incinerate while held in a lover's embrace.
But god--
Wonwoo loves Mingyu, he loves him, he fucking loves him, feels it to the very marrow of his bones. And it's goddamned terrifying to imagine a day when one of their hearts will cease to beat first.
Exhaling shakily, Wonwoo smothers himself with the shirt. The night melts away. Tears trickle as Wonwoo drifts off, watching Mingyu in the cinema of his memories, Mingyu looking over his shoulder, eyes brightening once their gazes meet, a laugh that shakes his shoulders, calling out Wonwoo's name with a smile.
Again Wonwoo feels those strong, familiar arms circle around him from behind. He shouldn't give into illusion so easily. But Wonwoo lets out a slow, deep breath of relief as he's drawn into an embrace. He melts at the warmth blanketing around him, the way his back rests against the broad chest, a soft exhale brushing over his neck.
The comforting scent of home overwhelms Wonwoo. It must be from how Wonwoo buries his face into the forest green shirt, desperate to cling onto that ocean breeze shampoo. Fingers curling into the fabric, Wonwoo's voice muffles. "I miss you."
"I missed you too, hyung."
Wonwoo freezes. Mingyu's voice doesn't ring so clearly in his dreams. But Wonwoo's afraid to get his hopes up, turn around, and discover only the empty half of their bed again. "...are you really here?"
"What?" Mingyu laughs fondly. "Yeah, I'm here..." His voice trails off once feeling Wonwoo shake in his arms. "Hyung? Oh- I-- Hyung, what's wrong?"
"Mingyu--" Wonwoo chokes out with a sob. It's been so long, since he can call for Mingyu's name, and his partner's right beside him. With a deep breath, Wonwoo turns around.
Mingyu's here.
Laying on his side, holding Wonwoo, the pale colors before sunrise revealing his warm autumn eyes.
In stunned silence, Wonwoo touches the side of Mingyu's face. It's seeing Mingyu lean into his touch, and sigh softly that breaks open Wonwoo's reservoir of tears.
"Oh, babe." Mingyu hushes Wonwoo gently. He holds his partner tight, and rubs the valley between Wonwoo's shoulder blades. "I'm here, I'm here." Kissing Wonwoo's temple, Mingyu dries his damp tearstained face. "I'm sorry it took so long for me to get back."
Shaking his head, Wonwoo shudders on another sob. "No, it's not your fault, I just-" Wonwoo grips harder at the back of Mingyu's sweater. "I- I'm so happy you're home. That you're-- still here, and-"
Joy and grief collide, avalanching into a catastrophe of gasping tears. Wonwoo surrenders as Mingyu pulls the man closer, and tucks Wonwoo's head against his chest.
Mingyu runs a hand through Wonwoo's hair in slow waves. "I promise, I'll always come back to you."
"But what if one day you don't? Or I don't?"
Wonwoo clenches his fist once feeling Mingyu tense. Sheer bewilderment with lightning flashes of hurt flicker in Mingyu's eyes. Before Mingyu misunderstands, Wonwoo grasps the front of his partner's shirt.
"Not because we'd want to leave. But--" Quiet despair strickens Wonwoo's face. Lungs collapse. He can't breathe. "-because of-- what happens in life. Like- " Wonwoo's grasp tightens. Skin stretches taut white over knuckles. No, please, he still doesn't want to say it.
And Mingyu doesn't make him. The way he kisses Wonwoo slow and deep, hands cradling Wonwoo's face shows how Mingyu understands. Tears catch at the corners of their mouths, but Mingyu doesn't break away. Returning the kiss feverishly, Wonwoo wraps his arms around his partner's shoulders. He follows the guidance of Mingyu's hands sliding over his hips and thighs until Wonwoo's laying on top. Wonwoo sighs into the kiss at finally feeling Mingyu's heartbeat against his own again.
Only once lungs ache for air does the kiss break. Wonwoo melts as Mingyu glides a hand under his shirt, and lovingly maps out the expanse of warm skin. Kissing under Mingyu's jaw, Wonwoo sifts his fingers through soft locks. As they catch their breaths, chests rise and fall in rhythm.
"For us to reach that point-" Smiling, Mingyu caresses Wonwoo's cheek. "--this means you'll spend rest of your life with me?"
Wonwoo blinks. "Of course," he answers simply. Because that's what it is-- a simple, profound, absolute truth. "I'll always be by your side, Mingyu. I want everyday with you."
"Same here, hyung." The first dawnlight rays reflect off Mingyu's eyes. He cups Wonwoo's cheek, his thumb brushing away a stray tear. "And I get how fucking terrifying it feels. Like I've thought about losing you, since we were kids."
"What?" Startled, Wonwoo's eyes widen. "All the way back then?"
Mingyu nods. "Yeah. But it just made me want to be with you more." His other hand seeks out Wonwoo's hand until their fingers intertwine. "And that fear didn't stop me from confessing to you. I'd rather love you and risk the hurt than not have you in my life at all."
Wonwoo's chest aches at how Mingyu's voice cracks, and tears brim his eyes. It steals his breath to learn just how fierce Mingyu's bravery runs. "Same here, Mingyu." Wonwoo dries Mingyu's eyes, then kisses the corner of his mouth. "I want to spend my life loving you. No matter what happens."
Gaze softening, Mingyu raises Wonwoo's hand. A kiss on the ring finger. A kiss on the wrist, above the bracelet. Wonwoo's heart collapses and resurrects, an ancient supernova giving way to something newfound and brilliant.
"I love you too fucking much, hyung. And I'm so grateful I get to come back home to you." Mingyu's lips curve into a smile against the precious pulse in those veins. "Thank you for waiting for me."
With another wave of tears rising, Wonwoo laughs softly. "I love you too, Mingyu." He seals those words with a slow kiss, the kind that helps them to breathe. "Welcome home."
As they meet each other halfway for another kiss, Mingyu pins Wonwoo on his back. Mingyu's lips trail down the elegant line of Wonwoo's throat. Hungrily, Mingyu mouths at the tender skin, eager to create scarlet wildflowers.
"Mingyu-" Wonwoo's chest rumbles with an endeared laugh. His fingers tangle in Mingyu's hair. "Aren't you tired?"
"No way, baby." Mingyu flashes a smirk between love bites blooming on Wonwoo's clavicles. "I'm never too tired for you."
Mingyu leans up to kiss Wonwoo. Their smiles brush, soft laughter spilling in between. As the morning sun rises, spun silk gold pours over their bodies, and paints across clasped hands.
"I love you more!"
"No way, I love you more!"
"Are you freaking serious? l'm the one who started courting you first!"
"Hyung, do you need me to send every compilation vid of me flirting with you? It's so obvious I love you most-"
Opening the dance studio door, Wonwoo sees Seungkwan in mid-air as he tackles Chan. It's a chaotic hurricane of limbs as Chan and Seungkwan collapse, rolling around and wrestling, aggressively proclaiming love. Seungkwan quiets Chan with a kiss. But it only lasts for a moment before Chan locks a leg around Seungkwan, and expertly performs a John Wick move to have Seungkwan laughing hysterically on his back.
"Do you guys really need to fight like this?" Jihoon sighs in exasperation. But it's clearly feigned from the way his mouth twitches with a smirk. "What happened to that clawing at your throat kinda banter?"
"But I'll take that-" Minghao waves at Chan giggling as Seungkwan pins him down. "Over that."
Wonwoo blinks as Minghao points at him. There's more fondness than anything else in Minghao's warm eyes. A blush rises on Wonwoo's face as everyone coos or groans. Mingyu's been hugging Wonwoo from behind, happily nuzzling him, sneaking kisses on his cheek and shoulder. Before Wonwoo can even think of a remark, Mingyu lifts his head, and grins cheekily.
"Hey, you need some concealer?" Grin curving into a smirk, Mingyu taps at the side of his neck.
Minghao stares blankly. Suddenly his eyes widen, and he slaps a hand over his throat. Before Minghao even sees the hickey in the mirror wall, he shouts at Junhui. But just a sweet smile and easy shrug from Junhui has Minghao melting, pulling his boyfriend closer for a peck on the cheek.
As Seungcheol laughs and tells everyone to get ready, Vernon and Seokmin haul Seungkwan and Chan off the ground. Wonwoo trades smiles with Chan. Today, there's nothing haunting their eyes. There's only joy.
Mingyu kisses Wonwoo's shoulder one more time, then releases him from the embrace. Before Mingyu walks towards his position, Wonwoo grasps his wrist. Fingers brush over the bracelet. Wonwoo tugs Mingyu closer, and presses their lips together. Mingyu smiles into the kiss.
"I love you." Wonwoo's eyes soften, his chest feeling full and warm.
Giving Wonwoo's hand a squeeze, Mingyu smiles brightly. "I love you too."