Work Text:
Scenario: 484
“Hey sweetie, you busy?”
“A little, what’s up?”
“How fast can you get to Russia?”
“Oh? What’s in Russia?”
“Me and the Kremlin Regiment.”
“Sounds fun.”
“Very. You’re just going to need to steal a jet.”
Scenario: 5,984
“Hey sweetie, you busy?”
“Skip the verbal foreplay Root, why are you calling?”
“Testy.”
“Root, what do you want?”
“Just to hear the sound of your voice of course.”
“Root.”
“I’m going to need you to kidnap a dignitary.”
“Okay, who?”
“You’ll know when you get there.”
“And I’m going where?”
“Where all the tourists are.”
Scenario: 77,984
“Hey sweetie, you busy?”
“Are you getting shot at?”
“Possibly.”
“Where are you?”
“Right now? Pinned between four guards in the Kremlin.”
“What are you doing in the Kremlin?”
“Not important.”
“Is this an invite?”
“Not a chance.”
“Then what is this?”
“I need a favor and you’re going to need a ticket to the Statue of Liberty.”
Scenario: 481,498
“Hey sweetie, you busy?”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong Sameen.”
“Yea? Why don’t I believe you. Where are you?”
“…Russia.”
“Get Her to give me the coordinates.”
“I’m fine Sameen.”
“Then why are you calling?”
“Can’t a couple of gals—“
“Root.”
“What’s the blast radius of C4?”
“Root! Are you there? Root!”
“I’m fine. Well, mostly fine. Thanks Sameen.”
“Root, what the hell?”
“Just got out of the blast radius, I’ll talk to you soon.”
Scenario: 887,468
“Hey sweetie, you busy?”
“No.”
“Well –“
“No.”
“Shaw?”
“Let me hear her.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
Scenario: 0
“Hey sweetie, you busy?”
“Skip the verbal foreplay, why are you calling?”
“Can’t a couple of gals just take some time off work to talk?”
“Root. Where are you?”
“North.”
“Could you be vaguer?”
“What are you doing Sameen?”
“I’m at a bar, what do you think?”
“Hmmm…anyone catch your eye?”
“Root. Why are you calling?”
“Just wanted to hear the sound of your voice.”
“Do you need backup?”
“…No Sam, I don’t need backup?”
“You sure?”
“I’m fine Sameen. Have fun tonight.”
“Root, why are you really calling?”
“I told you Sameen, just wanted a chat.”
“I’m hanging up.”
“Good bye Sameen.”
Click.
Scenario: 0-1
“When I’m…when she’s ready, can you tell her something for me?”
Yes.
“It was enough, hearing your voice.”