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Cellbit was staring at him again.
Pac stared back. It might not be the smartest decision, but what else was he meant to do? Forever and Foolish were talking, their voices a light buzz in his ears, their topic of conversation a distant memory. He could feel his hands shaking, shoved into the pockets of his hoodie, but his brain was on overdrive. Should he flee (he could run, he could make it, the waystones aren’t where they should be but there has to be somewhere he can go), or should he fight back (he could take Cell in a fight, he’s a better fighter than he is) or should he just stay there, staring at Cellbit and wishing he would stop, wishing he would turn away, wishing that-
A broad back filled his vision and Pac flinched slightly, more startled than anything, before relaxing instinctively once he recognized Fit. The other man didn’t say anything, but it was clear that he moved on purpose, becoming a shield for Pac. He couldn’t see Fit’s face, but by the time he gathered his courage and peered around him, Cellbit was turned back to look at Forever. He breathed a quiet sigh of relief.
It was easier when Mike was around, because Mike was a steady reminder that they were far from Alcatraz. Mike didn’t have pink hair back then, didn’t have the same hum of connection between the two of them that they do now, and hadn’t been afraid of Cellbit the same way Pac couldn’t help but be. Or even when Richas was there, with a near-constant patter of footsteps or the sound of a sign being placed that required his attention. The difference between Cell and Cellbit was never more clear than when he was interacting with their child, or even any of the other eggs, with his carefulness and open love. But they were gone now, and he was alone.
Not exactly alone, though, Pac thought to himself, eyeing Fit. The other man’s intervention surprised him, although that seemed to be a common trend recently when it came to the other man. Mike had told him all about how Fit had spent hours with him, working to find out where Pac was being kept. There was something about him that made Pac feel safe. Not that he minded.
Later, once the conversation trailed off and people began splitting up, Pac started to head for where Forever and Cellbit were speaking rapidly in Portuguese before a hand on his arm stalled him. He turned and had to look up slightly to meet Fit’s warm gaze.
“You alright, Pac?” Fit asked. His hand was still on Pac’s arm, warm through the sleeve of his hoodie. His heart fluttered, a feeling that was starting to become welcome.
Pac smiled, a little less flirty and a little more genuine than usual. “As alright as I can be.” He replies.
Fit didn’t seem entirely thrilled by that answer, but he let go of Pac’s arm. Pac frowned minutely before a thought crossed his mind. Without thinking twice, he took Fit’s hand in his and squeezed it.
“Thank you for caring, Fit,” Pac told him, before dropping his hand and turning to join Cellbit and Forever. While Fit’s gaze burned into the back of his head, Pac didn't fail to notice that Cellbit had caught the moment between them. But he said nothing, just looping Pac into the conversation and they’re off, swapping observations and poking at theories.
Pac wasn’t dumb enough to think that Fit was going to leave it there, though. He was characteristically stubborn and he had a keen eye for anything that was bothering other people. So the next time they’re alone, while Pac was touring Fit through the houses he built in the Favela, he wasn’t surprised when Fit paused in the middle of the road.
“Can I ask you something?” Fit said.
Pac shut a door, mostly to have something to do with his hands, before nodding. “Yeah, uh, what’s up?”
He made the mistake of looking at Fit, who was gazing calmly at him, before dropping his eyes to the ground. There was a silence while Fit weighed his next words before he spoke again.
“Did something happen between you and Cellbit?” Fit asked. “Because there was that moment, yesterday, where he kept staring at you and you were just shaking.”
Pac opened his mouth, deliberated what to say, and closed it.
“And I’m not trying to stick my nose in your guys’ business,” Fit continued, “But he didn’t seem to realize until I stepped in front of you. But it was really obvious how affected you were.”
That just made Pac feel self-conscious. His discomfort was that clear for everyone to see?
But then Fit reconsidered and added, “Although, it might have just been obvious to me because I pay attention to you.”
Pac jerked his head up, a blush on his cheeks and a stammer on his lips. As expected, Fit didn’t respond, just smiled and chuckled.
With a sigh, Pac brought his hand to the back of his neck and rubbed. “It’s uh, it’s complicated.” He started. “You know we were all in prison together, right? Me, Mike, and Cellbit? Felps too, but he’s not part of this story.”
As Fit nodded, Pac considered how much to tell him. Many of the details had remained between him and his family, with the exception of Richarlyson, who didn’t need to know the extent of their deprivation. If anyone else found out, what guarantee was there that they would take it well? It had always been best to keep it secret.
But this was Fit , who has never been anything but nice to him and Mike. It was the same Fit that took his flowers with a smile, who drank coffee with him at Starbobby and didn’t mind whenever he stumbled through English. Fit had never asked for anything more than Pac could give him. This was no different.
“Cellbit hadn’t treated me and Mike the same,” Pac said slowly. “He seemed to be a bit more intense, a bit more, uh.” And then Pac smiled ruefully. “Well, he was a real freak in prison. He ate my leg.”
Fit inhaled, his gaze flicking down to Pac’s prosthetic leg. Pac was aware that the surprise wasn’t due to the fact that he was missing a leg to begin with (Pac had forgotten to tell people about his leg, at the beginning, and so he and Fit hadn’t realized that they both had prosthetics until Pac had left his leg off for maintenance and Fit had stumbled upon it. When he realized, he had immediately unattached his arm to wave it around in joyous display.), but rather at the reveal of who had taken it off.
“He ate your leg?” Fit repeated, voice low and furious.
Pac was quick to respond. “He’s different now. He’s changed.”
“So he’s not a cannibal anymore?” Fit replied, his eyebrow arched.
Pac nodded jerkily. “Exactly!” When Fit didn’t seem amused at his enthusiasm, he said firmly, “He wouldn’t do something like that now.”
And wasn’t that so easy to say, with Cellbit far away? It was easy to pretend that Pac isn’t being haunted by memories, falling apart at even the thought of him relapsing. But Pac had to believe that Cellbit was a new person because he clearly couldn’t bear the idea that he wasn’t.
“Cellbit is part of my family.” Pac insisted. Almost on instinct, he reached out for Fit’s hand. The other let him take it, focused on his face. “I love him in the same way I love Felps and I love Forever, despite the history we have together.” And then, caught up in the moment, he admitted, “There is even something more, with our relationship, y’know?”
And Pac hesitated, wondering if he’d pushed it too far. He and Fit’s mutual attraction for each other (at least, he was pretty sure it was mutual) had been mostly pushed to the side with everything happening, but he didn’t want to insult the man or insinuate that he had something else with someone else.
But Fit was listening, having relaxed since the initial confession. He looked at Pac without a hint of judgment and so Pac continued, quieter.
“There is something reassuring, in the thought that we’re friends now. It is like, we have seen how much each other has changed, right?” Pac finished.
Fit hummed, before offering, “It’s like you’ve seen the worst in each other, and yet there is no doubt that you still will always have each other’s backs.”
“Exactly,” Pac said, with a relieved smile. “Yes, there are moments when I doubt, or when he says something that sounds just a little too much like something Cell would say, but we’re family now. We care for each other because someone has to.”
And there was more to it, more that he hadn’t told Fit. There were nightmares that kept him up at night, repressed memories that would haunt him to the end of his days, and a physical reminder of what Cell had been capable of attached to his body. But that was something to keep to himself, something that not even Mike knew the full extent of. Fit did not need to be burdened by that.
Fit squeezed his hand lightly. “Well, I won’t be the one to tell you how to have relationships.” He said with a shrug. “But if he freaks you out again, I’ll probably intervene. I doubt he would be doing this to you if he knew.”
A voice in the back of Pac’s head whispered would he?
Pac chose to ignore it.
“He’s not doing anything to me,” He said instead, widening his eyes just a little bit. “But someone else could, if they wanted to.”
And that broke the spell, making Fit laugh with a hint of red on his cheeks. Pac pulled him by the hand still linked to his onto the next house, quite pleased with how the conversation went down. It was such a nice moment, he could almost forget that his partner and his son were gone.
Almost.