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He was falling.
Falling like one of his precious stars.
He was plummeting.
Plummeting faster and faster down towards his inevitable demise.
The earth was coming up to meet him. He tried to beat his wings, but they seem to no longer listen to his commands, they could not save him from this. He doubted anything could. He watched as his tears left his cheeks and were lost in the air as he fell.
He closed his brown eyes; he did not want to see whatever awaited him down there. Will he die? A fleeting thought crossed his dazed mind, that perhaps it would be a kindness to die. To die, instead of to live on without God.
At long last, he met his destination. He has fell. He was cast out of heaven. No longer an angel, no longer one of God’s beloved creatures.
He felt blinding pain spread across his body; he never experienced pain before. Felt as acidic liquid covered every inch of his being. If he didn’t move soon, he’ll drown in this pit.
He felt a strong feeling of resolve stir deep within his broken being. If She wanted him dead, he would make it as difficult as he could. He won’t go down easily, not anymore.
He fought hard, hard to get out of the hellish pit he was entrapped in. He pulled and scratched and dragged and screamed until finally, he felt his lungs expand. He was covered in thick black sludge. He noticed a burning, searing sensation originating from his back, but that particular pain got lost and intertwined with all the other agony and torture he was experiencing.
He was laying on harsh cold ground, covered in the strange liquid. He wiped his hand over his eyes and opened them for the first time as a Fallen Angel. He has never felt such emptiness and despair. This wasn’t right, how could She have done this to him? He only ever asked questions. Is that what led to his downfall? Is that all it took for him to perish?
As he laid there under the dark black sky, he heard the other Angel’s around him. Some of them were screaming in desperation and confusion and some were celebrating their newfound freedom. Their voices mixed together in a rich and painful harmony. It hurt him to listen.
He could feel the despair trying to swallow him whole. He could feel it pulling him down, down towards s a place he might never be capable of escaping. All hope was lost.
But then a face flashed in his mind’s eye. White fluffy hair, a soft beautiful smile and calm blue eyes
Oh, those eyes, how he will miss them.
Crowley kept looking up, up at the sky towards Heaven. Maybe, he’ll be blessed with seeing those eyes again. Blessed with seeing that smile and the angel who owns it.
And maybe, just maybe, that might be enough to keep him going.
For now, at least.