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"Hyung, have you ever kissed anyone before?"
"What?"
The question comes out of the blue on a lazy Sunday afternoon, the room lit up by the afternoon sun filtering through the blinds. The two of them are lying side by side on Hanbin's almost twin-sized bed that barely fits them both.
On the TV, some cartoon is playing in the background, but they haven't been paying much attention to it. It's a peaceful time of day where they can just lie there, limbs haphazardly about, sides pressed against one another, with nothing to worry about. The silence has been enjoyable and thoughtful until it is suddenly broken with the question.
Hanbin turns his head from the position it was fixed on the ceiling and gives him a look. "You know, have you ever pressed your lips to another person's lips?"
"I know what you mean; it's just a bit of a random question," Hao grumbles, but on the inside, his heart rate has picked up.
It's a topic neither of them has dared to bring up before. It's not like kissing was some off-limits subject, but the two of them have never really talked about things involving romance or crushes before. Well, besides when they occasionally watch the soapy romance dramas that Hanbin’s mom usually has playing on the TV in the living room.
Hanbin hums, his eyes flicker from Hao's face to the ceiling again.
It’s silent again for a minute, but it’s not an uncomfortable silence.
“W-why are you asking anyway?” Hao breaks the delicate quiet with his question, hands busy toying with the red panda plushie he’d won for Hanbin at the state fair last summer. There’s a light flush on his face, and he can’t seem to meet Hanbin’s eyes.
“I don’t know, I guess I was just curious…” Hanbin trails off, seemingly a bit flustered too, as if he wasn’t the one that started the conversation in the first place.
Hao tugs at the ears of the plushie, running his fingers over the soft red fur. Faintly over the sound of the soft chatter of the TV, the neighborhood kids can be heard playing on the street. However, the only sounds he can focus on are his own heart beating in his ears and the lull of Hanbin’s breathing next to him.
“What about you?” Hao starts. “Have you ever… kissed anyone?”
“Yeah, just once,” Hanbin answers shyly, and Hao tenses a little. “It was- I think at Matthew’s Birthday party?- in 7th grade, during spin the bottle.” That had been a bit before Hao had moved into the neighborhood, and the pair had their (as Hanbin liked to call it) ‘fated’ meeting.
They had meet the summer before 8th grade at the community arts center. Hanbin had literally rocked Hao’s world when he knocked into him and fell on his knees while leaving the music room. He’d nearly caused Hao’s violin case to drop on the floor. After scolding him about watching where he was going, Hao helped patched up his knees that had gotten scraped up. Somehow, ever since then they’d been an inseparable pair
Much later on Hanbin admitted to him that he had knocked into him on purpose that day, in hopes of getting his attention after seeing him playing the violin. Hao smiles at the memory, seems his plan had worked in the end.
Hao now pictures the scene of the same awkward baby-faced Hanbin that had bumped into him that day, nervously working up the courage to give a peck to some faceless person while surrounded by all his little friends, giggling and egging them on. The image almost makes him laugh, but it's soured by the whole thought of another person kissing him at all.
He lets out a short laugh anyway. “So who was it? Don’t tell me Jiwoong,” he jokes, already knowing it wasn’t any of their immediate friends.
Hanbin makes a face at that and laughs, “Eww, no, definitely not. It was this girl named Yuna. She moved away a while ago, though.” Hao curses in his head at whoever that girl is. Even though he’s never met her, he’s already decided he hates her. “But that kiss is not a very good memory... I think she has a girlfriend now anyway.”
Hao quickly changes his mind; he actually doesn’t hate her anymore.
He laughs hard, clutching his sides. “Wow, you must be a terrible kisser; you even made her switch sides.” Hanbin groans, trying to hide his red face by burying his face in the pillows.
While Hao struggles to make his laughs die down, Hanbin lifts his head. The color on his face has calmed down, but his ears are still bright red.
“Whatever! My kissing skills are fine, thank you very much. No need to hate just because you have so much experience,” Hanbin huffs, crossing his arms and turning his head.
Hao, finished laughing, scratches the back of his neck. “Well, I’ve never actually kissed anyone before,” he admits hesitantly.
Hanbin shoots up, “No way, really?” He’d just assumed Hao was being shy or humble before when he’d asked about his past experience. “The insanely popular Zhang Hao that gets at least 5 love confessions a month has never had a first kiss?”
Blushing, Hao mumbles, “Well, just because those people confess to me doesn’t mean I like them back.” Hanbin feels relieved at the admission but tries not to show it too much in his expression.
“Plus, when would I have time for something like that? I spend all my time with you…”
They both look at each other and Hanbin stops breathing for a second. He can’t help but admire Hao’s looks. His fluffy brunette hair, tussled in a beautiful way from lying in bed for so long, his deep yet warm captivating brown eyes staring back into his, and most of all his soft plump lips that his tongue darts out to wet in the moment.
All of the sudden they’re both startled by a car alarm going off somewhere on the street and they break eye contact.
“I didn’t realize I was keeping you from all your potential suitors, hyung,” Hanbin says teasingly, nudging his shoulder against Hao’s even though they’re already pretty close together. “Think of all the kisses you could’ve had by now if I wasn’t around?”
But on the inside, he’s glad none of those kisses have happened.
Hao nudges him back.
“Don’t be silly, I’d rather be spending my time with you than with anyone else in the world.” Hanbin flushes, and his face unwillingly forms a smile, so he turns his head away.
“Ugh hyung, I don’t know how you can just say stuff like that so easily.”
“But I really do mean it,” Hao says, his eyes soft and heartfelt as Hanbin turns back toward him.
They look at each other, eyes communicating what words can’t.
“I feel the same about you,” Hanbin whispers back. His hand finds Hao’s easily, and their fingers lace together. “You’re my favorite person.”
Looking at Hao’s face, his eyes can’t help but drift down to his mouth and back up again.
Hanbin licks his lips. He hopes Hao can’t feel how sweaty his palm is or the way his heart is racing.
“Hyung, maybe- since it’s my fault you haven’t had your first kiss yet, I could- um, help you out.” Hanbin barely even registers his own words, internally shocked at the way they come out of his mouth. But since he’s already started, there was no point in stopping now. “I could um- or we could uh- kiss…”
Hao seems just as surprised as him, the tips of his ears tinged pink and his mouth parted. His mind goes blank for a moment.
Hanbin panics at his silence. “Oh, uh, nevermind- what am I even saying- it was a stupid idea anyway just-“
“Sure.”
Hanbin stops his babbling right away. “What?”
“Let’s do it.”
Hao doesn’t meet his eyes, but he’s blushing. “Kiss…”
Hanbin’s eyes widen as he swallows and nods. “O-okay.”
Hao is sure plenty of friends kiss. It’s probably a normal regular thing for a lot of best friends. And he’s also sure that Hanbin is the one person in the world he’d want to do this with the most. But he isn’t so sure about the fluttering of butterflies he feels threatening to burst out of him. And he doesn’t know how to feel about the agonizing anticipation that’s killing him as Hanbin brings his hand up to caress his face.
Hanbin lightly runs his thumb over his apple cheek, and Hao’s eyes lightly flutter at the sensation, skin tingling from the light touch. Hanbin exhales, and his finger lightly grazes Hao’s bottom lip.
They both move in closer, breaths mingling, feeling each other’s warmth.
On Hanbin’s tiny bed, in this little neighborhood, it feels like they could be the only two people in the world. Despite the air of uncertainty and nervousness, nothing else matters to them besides the other. Hanbin leans in closer, both their eyes fluttering shut, and they close the distance.
Their lips meet in a tentative kiss that sets Hanbin’s insides alight. Slowly, at first, they shyly brush against each other before going in. It’s soft and delicate, tingling and tender.
All Hao can focus on is the feeling of warmth from Hanbin’s lips.
After the first press, they become more eager, like getting the first lick of your favorite ice cream, an insatiable hunger.
The kiss grows more intense, and Hao moves his hands up Hanbin’s shoulders to his neck, holding onto him like his lifeline. It feels so good he melts into the feeling. The warmth floods his body.
Much to his discontent, Hanbin pulls back, remembering they actually have to breathe. Hao whines softly as he pulls away, greedily chasing after his lips right away. They meet again, this time less hesitant and even more desperate.
As it grows heated, Hao tentatively pokes out his tongue, running it across Hanbin’s lips. They deepen the kiss, tongues moving against each other, hands grasping at whatever they can reach, teeth tugging lightly at lips. They move sloppily, but neither cares, caught up in the sensations.
The two are a sight to see when they finally pull back. They rest their heads side by side against the pillows and catch their breath. Faces flushed, their hair both an absolute mess.
Hao reaches his thumb and drags it across Hanbin’s swollen, wet with spit, lips. He has a quiet smile on his face, a little flustered and shy despite what they just did. Hanbin’s pupils are dilated as he watches him.
“So, you still think I’m a terrible kisser?” Hanbin prods teasingly.
Hao rolls his eyes, cheeks pink. With a mischievous glint in his eyes, he leans in again and pulls him for a long and deep kiss, causing the other to moan softly. As he pulls back, there’s a string of saliva connecting them. He wipes it away and smirks.
“Hmm, I don’t know, you tell me?” Hao quips. Hanbin groans, hiding his face.
“Hyung, you’re the worst,” he whines from his place behind his hands.
Hao laughs and pulls him into his embrace.
“Maybe, but you love me anyway,” he says, pressing a tender kiss to the top of Hanbin’s head.
Hanbin lets out a slightly reluctant hum of agreement from where his face is buried into Hao’s neck.
They lay there for a little, just enjoying being close to each other, their breathing in sync. The sun has already started to set, causing orange and pinkish hues to cast across the room. It’s quiet now that the TV had turned off from lack of activity who knows how long ago.
“Y’know hyung,” Hanbin says, pulling his head back a bit. “We should do this more often.”
Hao grins and lightly pinches his cheek, making Hanbin squint his eyes at him.
“Oh Binnie, you should’ve never asked me for that kiss in the first place. I fear now that I’ve gotten a taste I’ll never be able to stay away from your lips again.”
“Then it’s a good thing you won’t have to stay away,” Hanbin smiles as he draws him back to meet his lips again.