Work Text:
Frantic
Danny blinked heavily as he looked up at the ceiling watching the shadows created from the shrubbery outside the window dance around due to the slight breeze but despite how exhausted he was there was an unsettled feeling that was keeping him awake. Whatever it was that was making him worry, he knew he would not be getting any sleep until he figured out what exactly it was. But the thing was there was nothing that stood out as they didn’t have any cases, Grace was tucked up safe and sound at Rachel and Stan’s house, and there was nothing (as far as he knew) to worry about back in Jersey.
Danny kicked off the sheet a bit harder than was actually required before he forced himself upright and raked a hand through his ruffled hair as he hadn’t bothered to slick it back after his shower. A glance at his alarm clock told him it was a little after 1am and he groaned loudly before he let his weary body fall back down as he went over the past day in his mind.
Steve!
“Goddammit.” Danny grumbled as he forced himself out of bed cursing his insane partner and himself for not realising that something was off with him. The entire day Steve had been quiet, downtrodden, and had barely left his own office willingly filling out his paperwork with a precision that he did not usually apply to regular office paperwork. His first clue really should have been the fact that he had driven his own car, his own car, and how quiet the drive had been as there was no usual banter that the two had developed. Dammit how did I miss that, he thought even as he pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a loose t-shirt then shoved his feet into a pair of sneakers before he grabbed his keys, wallet, phone, gun and badge.
Danny was in his car and driving slightly faster than he usually would, using his lights to clear the non-existent traffic given the time of morning, and mumbling about stupid stubborn goofs who have no idea how to ask for help when they needed it. The quiet ranting carried him all the way through the drive until he was pulling up in front of the McGarrett household and parking next to Steve’s truck. And if he had not have already been worried then his worry would have been through the roof as the house was lit up, and from the outside it looked as if every single light was on in the house which was very unusual.
Danny sighed and scrubbed his hand through his hair pushing it back although without any product it was not going to stay in place but that was the least of his problems right now before he pushed himself out of the Camaro, shutting the door quietly then headed for the house.
“Steve!” Danny knew better than to enter the house silently although he didn’t bother knocking but calling his name was his way of doing so. He frowned as a sound registered in his ears but it wasn’t something he could place for a few seconds until a memory surfaced from years ago of his mother neurotically scrubbing at the kitchen floor after one of his sisters had dropped a large bottle of maple syrup and the bottle had shattered letting the sticky liquid run everywhere. The sound didn’t fit nor did it make sense for Steve to be cleaning at such an ungodly hour but maybe there was a simple answer however Danny did not figure it was likely. “Steven!” He tried again hoping the use of ‘Steven’ would have his partner pausing or responding in some way to him although he hoped that way did not involve a weapon.
Danny frowned as the sound seemed to intensify instead of ease and he began following it, stopping in the doorway of the study, as he found Steve partially obscured from view behind his father’s desk down on the floor on his hands and knees. “Steve.” He softened his voice as he stepped closer until he was able to see past the desk to find Steve was frantically scrubbing at the hardwood floor although it was hard to see the hardwood floor when it was covered in thick foamy bubbles as the brush continued in circles around and around without a reprieve. The good thing was that Steve was only wearing a pair of shorts so he was not carrying a weapon but it did not mean that he did not have one close by given his tendency to have them stored all over the place.
Danny knelt down on the hardwood floor silently cursing how it caused his knee to revolt in pain still keeping a small amount of distance between himself and his intently focused partner. “Steve, babe, hey, you have got to tell me what is going on.” He appealed hoping it would be enough to break through whatever it was that was going on inside of his brain.
“There’s blood. It’s everywhere.” Steve mumbled registering that it was Danny who was talking to him as he scrubbed harder creating another rush of bubbles. “I can’t get it cleaned up, I can’t get rid of it. It’s Dad’s blood.”
Danny went from panicked to slightly less panicked but still highly concerned because he knew that there was no blood left from Steve’s Dad and that his death had not taken place behind his desk but rather in the living room close to the doorway he had just walked through. What was more concerning was the way Steve had not even truly registered that he was there beside him, and the way his voice sounded as if he was disconnected from everything. “Steve, babe, can you look at me?” He implored keeping his voice soft as if he was speaking to Grace while shuffling closer albeit hesitantly.
“Got to get this clean.” Steve murmured putting more weight on the scrubbing brush in his hand as he scrubbed harder creating more soapy bubbles.
Danny rested his hand down on Steve’s shoulder feeling the way he tensed momentarily deciding to throw all caution to the wind as he had never quite seen Steve in such a disconnected, frantic, and dissociative state like the one he was in. However it had the desired effect as it made Steve’s movements slow, not stop, but he would take what he could get. Danny managed to twist around enough in the small space to place his other hand over Steve’s that was holding the brush, and he got his first proper look at him wondering how the hell he had missed it. The dark circles under his bloodshot and glassy looking eyes told him everything he needed to know as he immediately suspected that a nightmare was partly to blame for this obsessive and alarming scrubbing at non-existent blood. He had noticed that Steve had been lagging, had been overtired as of late, but he had no idea that it would manifest itself this way although he thought that maybe he should have considered it.
Danny wrapped his fingers tightly around Steve’s wrist, tight enough to restrain but not bruise, and it finally had him stopping the incessant scrubbing in circles, and allowed Danny to see just how wrinkled his fingertips were which meant he had been scrubbing for quite a while.
“I need to get rid of the blood.” Steve mumbled with a frown as his eyes flickered from where Danny was holding his wrist to Danny’s face and then back to the wide sweeping foam of bubbles that he had created. “I have too.”
Danny narrowly restrained himself from sighing while he tried to think and quickly come up with a solution that would ease the storm that was currently coursing through his partner. “You have babe, you have. Watch my hand babe.” He had no idea if it would work but he figured it was worth a shot as he gently disentangled his fingers from where they were wrapped around Steve’s wrist and swiped his hand through the mass of bubbles revealing the clean hardwood of the floor. “See no blood Steven.” The furrow of Steve’s forehead was devastatingly heart-breaking to Danny as he stared at the streak newly devoid of bubbles as if he was unsure of how there was no blood there. Danny watched as Steve’s hand let go of the brush, reached out and took hold of his hand turning it over as if he was searching for a transfer of blood onto the palm of his hand that he had swiped at the bubbles with.
“I… I don’t… I don’t understand… There was blood… so much of it… I had to clean it…” Steve stuttered his way through slowly sounding even more disorientated.
Danny curled his hand around Steve’s not stopping him from holding his hand. Usually he would rant and rave but he couldn’t bring himself too as there was something fragile about his partner that had his stomach in knots as it was something that he did not associate with him although he meant nothing by it. “You cleaned it all up.” It was the truth as Danny had known that Steve had thoroughly scrubbed at the lingering stains of blood and brain matter that had not been cleaned by the crime scene cleaning unit that had been dispatched by the Governor once forensics had been over everything and documented it all thoroughly but John McGarrett had been murdered years before. Danny had to focus on getting Steve settled and then work out what exactly had caused this frantic cleaning session although he already had a fair idea about that part.
The confusion did not melt away instead it seemed to intensify as Steve managed to sit back so that he was sitting on his legs although he did not sever the contact he had with Danny as he looked around the small space that he had crammed himself into. “Danny?” His voice was shaky, hollow, and there was a hint of fear in it.
“I’m here babe.” Danny answered as it was the only one he had but it seemed to be the answer Steve needed as he relaxed minutely although it made the slight tremor that was shaking his body more noticeable. “Think you can help me get you up off of the floor and to the couch?” He asked prepared to use every ounce of his strength to pull him up by himself but he knew how finicky Steve could be about these things and how he needed to feel like he was in control. Danny wanted to be able to keep an eye on Steve so the couch was the best place for the moment as he still needed to clean up the plethora of bubbles that lingered on the floor. As much as Steve looked like he needed to be tucked into his bed, Danny had an inkling that it would only have a negative effect on him for the moment and instead of relaxing it would only serve to work him up. He was definitely out of his depth but he was not a detective for nothing so he would figure it out as he went.
“Y-y-yeah.” Steve stuttered as his eyes finally met Danny’s although he made no attempt to move.
Danny walked his hand from Steve’s shoulder to his neck letting his thumb sweep over his pulse which was unsurprisingly faster than it should have been but it seemed to be slowing down and that was a relief. “Good.” He slowly stood up without breaking the contact with Steve. “Come on, up you get.” He was grateful when Steve began to move managing to push himself up onto his feet although it was not without its own challenge as he swayed dangerously.
The short distance to the couch felt irrevocably longer than it was as Danny gently guided a weary Steve over having taken most of his weight once he was up on his feet. Steve collapsed down onto the couch without preamble as soon as he was within reach of it. It was strange to watch Steve curl into himself and it was an even stranger notion for Danny to associate the word ‘small’ with his usually larger than life partner but he had managed to curl up on his side facing Danny and make himself look small despite his tall lanky figure.
Danny cautiously moved away from Steve but made sure to stay within sight as he wanted to get the water and soap cleaned up otherwise it would be hazardous but first he detoured to the kitchen and poured Steve a large glass of water before returning to where Steve was lying unnervingly still barely blinking. He sat down on the edge of the coffee table and gently pressed the glass into Steve’s hand but he did not let go of it as he helped him bring it to his lips and take a few small sips before he pushed it away. “That’s it.” He praised softly as he took the glass back and set it down on the table making sure it was still in reach if he wanted more.
Danny opened his mouth but before he said anything he closed it unsure of what to say as his go to tactic of ranting was not going to work this time. He reached out and very gently took hold of Steve’s wrist again letting his fingertips feel the fluttering of his pulse before he let go. “I’m just going to cover you up with a blanket. You can go to sleep, I will be around babe.” He snagged the blanket from the back of the couch and let it fall gently over him whilst reassuring him that it was okay to rest, to let himself sleep, and he silently hoped it would help.
Steve curled in on himself a little tighter as he brushed his stubble covered cheek against the cool leather of the couch feeling his body relax without permission now that he knew Danny would stay close by because he could always count on his partner.
Danny would have smiled at Steve’s trusting action if he was not still so concerned about what had caused his usually unflappable partner to become so frantic but he was glad to see him relax under the blanket although his eyelids stubbornly started fluttering rather than staying closed. He waited until Steve finally gave into his exhaustion and fell into a uneasy asleep before he moved quietly around the house gathering a couple of old towels before he cleaned up the mess that had been made by the frantic scrubbing then disposed of the bucket of now cold water. He meandered back into the kitchen and took a look at the meagre amount of food that was stocked between the fridge, freezer and cupboards knowing it was far to late to arrange for groceries to be delivered nor was he going to leave after he had made a promise that he would not leave. He had hoped to be able to make something for Steve to eat once he was awake but decided to abandon that goal for the moment. Finally he settled down in the recliner beside the couch which was a reversal that he did not want to acknowledge to keep watch over his sleeping SEAL.