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Arakita finds it's impossible to control his nerves. The mere thought of asking him out, as simple as that, is making his palms sweat. And it isn't just the fear of being rejected, it's the simple anxiety of approaching him the right way, without looking like an idiot.
He closes his eyes and takes a couple of deep breaths. If he lingered on the doorway any longer, it would look like he was about to rob the place. He's glad the coffee shop is nearly empty today, fewer people giving him weird looks if he completely messes up and ends up getting punched in the face. He's trying his hardest to avoid that noisy group of high school girls, eager to spend the last of their pocket money on chai latte and chocolate chip cookies for a chance to chat with the cute barista. Him.
Arakita looks into the coffee shop from the door one more time. He's made up his mind. Today, as soon as he walks through those doors, he will either face him and tell him how he feels or run away and never come back. It seems like he is about to choose the second option. Okay, maybe he is afraid of rejection.
Finally, after mentally telling himself to man the fuck up, he pushes the door open,the sound of the bell chiming way too loud in his ears.
***
The first time Arakita had been here had been, practically, a disaster. It had been a couple of months ago, sometime after the dingy coffee shop he had frequented had gone out of business and closed its doors, forcing him to look for a new place to get his daily caffeine fix. He hadn't liked the old place that much anyway, the coffee had tasted like mud but at least it had been cheap.
One remarkably dull Monday morning, he hits the snooze button a few too many times, which means running late from his class. Quickly changing his clothes and running out of the door, he estimates having just enough time to grab some coffee from whatever coffee shop he passes by that looked decent enough.
He doesn’t have to look for long. It turns out his old coffee shop had already been bought, a sign outside the door telling him the place had been re-opened just last weekend. That will do, as long as they still sell coffee.
Arakita steps in and patiently waits in line for his turn, still feeling half-asleep. The new owners had redecorated the place. It looks more tidy now, the walls have a fresh coat of paint and the chairs and tables are new, dark wood, replacing the old plastic ones. The atmosphere is surprisingly cozy, the smell of freshly brewed coffee lingering on the air, Arakita notes.
When his turn comes, a pleasant voice of the barista wishes him a good morning.
"A medium coffee to go, please,” Arakita mumbles, not really paying attention.
"With sugar or cream?” the pleasant voice speaks again. Arakita lifts his eyes from his feet and notices that the voice belongs to the most gorgeous looking male he's ever seen. He is around his age, has beautiful wavy, reddish hair and tanned skin, full lips curling into a gentle smile. Arakita gapes at the barista in amazement, color rising to his cheeks. He is definitely awake now.
"Fuck…” A sigh escapes from his mouth before he can stop himself.
"I’m sorry?”
"Black! I said black is fine!” Arakita flinches, snapping out of his daze. "And hurry up, I’m gonna be late from my lecture.”
"Oh, do you go to Yonan University?” the barista asks, a small smile still playing on his lips.
Of course he is the chattering type.
"Yeah. You too?"
"Nope, Meisou," the barista shakes his head. "My parents own this place so I’m working here part-time, even though it is kind of far away from where I live. Anyway, that would be four hundred yen,” the barista says, setting a story foam cup on the counter.
Four hundred yen for a simple cup of coffee? That’s twice the amount the previous owners had charged! Arakita reaches out to his back pocket, only to find out his wallet isn’t there. Oh shit.
"I-, uhhh, I don’t have my wallet with me… Sorry,” he apologizes. He realizes he must have forgotten to take it with him when he left his apartment in such a hurry.
The barista looks at him sympathetically. "Rough morning?”
"Yeah, something like that,” Arakita mutters, his face flushing even deeper shade of red from embarrassment.
The barista brushes his long bangs away from his face. "You know what, I’ll treat you this time. You look like you really need your coffee,” he chuckles. "What’s your name?”
"Huh?” Arakita pays more attention to his eyes, now that his hair isn't obscuring his face, than his words.
"Your name.”
"Oh… Arakita Yasutomo.” Focus, goddammit!
"Just come again some time to pay me back, alright? Ask for Shinkai Hayato,” he winks, pointing at his name tag.
Arakita nods and grabs his coffee from the counter, trying to ignore how that wink had made his heart flutter. It is a miracle he doesn't drop the cup, really.
"Have a nice day and thanks for visiting us!” Shinkai beams at him, getting ready to serve the next customer who has just stepped into the shop.
Arakita mumbles something resembling a goodbye and quickly turns around to leave before he embarrasses himself any further.
He spends the rest of his day cursing the fact that he’d made a total fool of himself in front of probably the hottest guy in the country, and hadn’t even got his number.
***
Arakita goes back the next day, if only to return the money. And then the next. Whatever, the coffee is great, just strong enough to wake him up, and even organic, according to the label. It is important to think about the environment, right? Save the Earth and shit.
Before he knows it, it'd already been a month.Instead of taking his coffee to go, he'd started staying at the shop. He finds himself really enjoying chatting with Shinkai every morning, the handsome barista always smiling at him behind the counter and cracking dumb jokes. Every day he will learn some new details about him, from his liking to detective novels to how he rides a road racer on his free time.
Arakita also discovers on his third visit that the more things he orders on his coffee, the longer it will take for it to get ready, giving him a few more seconds of that nice and pleasant conversation. He feels his legs weaken every time Shinkai hands him his cup or some change and their fingers brush together. Sometimes, in quiet mornings when there are no other customers around,he is brave enough to stay at the counter and lean on it while sipping his coffee.
When he starts waking up 45 minutes earlier to arrive right before Shinkai opens the shop, giving him a chance to talk with him about ten minutes longer before he must go to the class, he knows he has it bad.
Never before had Arakita put so much effort into just talking to somebody, cursing the traffic that often keeps stealing him one or two minutes of being close to him. Close. That damned stupid counter is like a barrier impossible to cross. Arakita's brain had started supplying him with images of jumping over the counter, pressing Shinkai against the coffee machines and kissing him hard. Who cares if there would be people watching and they would probably call the cops? He wonders if that would count as an assault and get him arrested.
Why had his life suddenly decided to turn into a chick flick, one with smoking hot employees and cliché coffee shops that shouldn't even exist in real life, he doesn't know.
***
"Oh, Yasutomo, you’re here!”
"Hey, how are you doing?”
"Morning was busy. Got to entertain a flock of high school girls, they all wanted my number,” Shinkai laughs. Arakita feels an unexpected surge of jealousy inside of him.
"What are you, some kind of call boy?!” And how come I don’t have your number yet? Right, because I still haven't fucking asked and I think I just ruined a perfect opportunity.
Shinkai doesn't care about the rude remark, and just flashes another grin at Arakita. "Nah, I turned them down, they were a bit too young for me. But I told them my little brother might be interested.”
"Oh, I didn’t know you have a brother. I only have two younger sisters.”
Arakita’s visits aren't restricted just to the mornings anymore. After figuring he could no longer waste his time just ogling Shinkai like a moron, he starts going to the shop after school to study on days when he knows Shinkai has an afternoon shift. It isn't really helping improve his grades, he'd found out it's nearly impossible to focus on studying when his eyes keep wandering to Shinkai's direction. He is also a lot more poor now because of that damn expensive coffee. He doesn't know if Shinkai buys his blatant lies about very unfortunate train schedules but if he doesn’t, at least he doesn’t seem to mind that Arakita is hanging around so often. Occasionally he even offers Arakita some leftover pastries for free when he is in charge of closing the shop. Shinkai’s sweet tooth is even worse than his, always taking home all the cherry cupcakes Arakita doesn’t like. It is kind of adorable, Arakita thinks.
"So, did you come here to study again?”
"Yeah. My exams are coming up. By the way, how do you manage to find time to study? Seems like you're taking a lot of shifts."
"I'm fine, I focus on studying during the weekends. Besides, I like working in here. The pay is okay and I get to meet a lot of interesting people. You are one of them." Arakita has to grab the counter for support when Shinkai says that with that perfect smile on his face.
He guesses Shinkai counts as a friend by now - he likes to think his smiles are just a little bit sweeter and more sincere when they are directed at him.
It's just... Arakita wants to be more than just another customer, even if he is a regular. He knows he is attracted to Shinkai and that he likes his company. It's enough to drive him crazy. In addition, Shinkai is probably straight, taken and definitely way out of his league. So, basically, he is fucked. That doesn't stop him for wanting him, wanting to kiss him every time Shinkai calls him by his first name, like it was nothing.
I have to do something.
***
"Say, Yasutomo, what's your favorite type of coffee? You order a different drink almost every time, so I can't figure it out."
Arakita tells him he doesn't have a favorite, that he likes trying out new flavors but he knows it's definitely latte - especially the ones he gets at mid-afternoon between his lectures, that make him warm all over every time he sees Shinkai's latte art. Smiley faces, bunny heads - it's just ridiculously cute. Sometimes, when he's lying alone in his bed at night he wonders if Shinkai will ever draw him a heart. He's probably a fool, for getting his hopes up.
"Why don't you have a milkshake today? We just got a new machine."
Arakita is still kind of spacing out and doesn't have time to reply before Shinkai is already halfway done making him a banana milkshake with chocolate sauce.
"Ta-da~ It's a free sample, for my most loyal customer only", Shinkai winks.
Maybe one day.
***
It had been two months and university life has become more hectic. In past three weeks Arakita had barely had time to quickly grab a coffee to-go in mornings. To his misfortune Shinkai had been busy too, canceling most of his morning shifts to have more time to work on his school project.
"Yasutomo, you're late~! I thought you weren't gonna to show up."
Arakita freezes when he hears a familiar voice from the table closest to the counter. Today he's not even here on purpose, really, he's just on his way to the library to study, and stopping by for an espresso because the location of the coffee shop is still so awfully convenient.
"Shinkai? I thought you weren't working today."
Shinkai takes a sip of his huge mug of hot chocolate. "A co-worker of mine called in sick, so I'm taking his shift. I came here early since I promised I'll help with some paperwork too."
"Will you stop staring at me? I can't look that different without an apron," Shinkai chuckles, beckoning Arakita to sit down.
Arakita forces his eyes away from Shinkai's, which is even worse because now he is looking at Shinkai's lips.Seeing him without an apron makes him seem so much more accessible, his face attracting Arakita's eyes like a magnet.
Arakita finally sits down on the opposite side. "Not different, just weird... No, fuck, not like that, in a good way. I mean-" he tries to say something intelligent, to come up with a compliment that would sweep Shinkai off his feet but the words just won't come out. He turns his head away in frustration.
Shinkai snorts. "I'm flattered, really. Oh I just remembered, your exam is today, right? Hold on," he stands up and goes to the back room. A minute later he returns with a porcelain cup, his apron now back on.
Another latte, today's drawing is a four-leaf clover. He leans in and places the cup in front of Arakita.
"For good luck," Shinkai squeezes his shoulder gently before sliding back to his own seat.
For a moment, Arakita contemplates confessing right then and there, but decides against it.
"Thanks..."
They finish their drinks while talking about the new action movie Shinkai had seen last weekend, and about how the stray cat that Arakita had found last month is getting really fat (maybe she is pregnant?).
"It was great to catch up with you, Yasutomo, but now I must really get back to work. I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Sure, see you, Shinkai."
Fuck it. I'll do it tomorrow for sure.
***
Tomorrow comes and there he is, still trying to find the courage and right words to ask Shinkai out, but the only thing coming to his head are some cheap pick-up lines he had read on the internet. He'd also spent nearly ten minutes in front of the mirror and it's ridiculous, he knows he is being ridiculous and Shinkai won't even notice what he is wearing because of course he won't.
Arakita impatiently waits behind an old man in line, trying very hard to hide the fact that he is quietly freaking out. He is pretty sure there is already too much caffeine in his bloodstream (he shouldn't have drank Bepsi for breakfast), that's what is making him so jittery and definitely not Shinkai.
When his turn comes, his heart races and he can hear it beating in his ears.
"Oh, hi, Yasutomo! What can I get you today?" Shinkai greets him behind the counter just like any other morning.
"Just black coffee."
Shinkai tilts his head. "You don't often take your coffee black. Are you nervous about something?" he asks in a worried tone.
Arakita glances over his shoulder. There's no one behind him in line.
"Shinkai?"
"Hm?"
"What time do you get off from work today?" Arakita manages to force out. His mouth feels so dry it's a miracle he can even speak.
"At five o' clock. Why?"
"I was thinking that maybe...well, if you’re not busy, we could, I don’t know...go some place, get some coffee or something, if you want to, that is-" he trails off, hands twisting nervously, panic rising in his chest the longer he waits for Shinkai's reply.
"Go some place…to get some coffee?" Shinkai looks amused, a playful grin on his lips.
Say something smart or witty, anything, impress him, you can't be that stupid! "Well, I… - shit!"
Smooth, really smooth, Arakita scolds himself. Now Shinkai is actually laughing at him, and he feels mortified, and he has to find a new coffee shop because he won't have the guts to face him again after saying something so incredibly idiotic-
"Ah, sorry, I guess I shouldn't laugh in a situation like this, especially since I am technically at work."
"Huh?”
"I’ve been waiting for you to ask me out for weeks," Shinkai admits. His face looks flushed, and maybe it's not only because of his sudden laughing fit.
"You knew and didn’t say anything?”
"It was amusing, to watch you walk in with a determined look on your face and still struggle with words,” Shinkai smiles wryly. "Did you honestly think I’d say no to you?"
Arakita is stunned, his mind going completely blank.
"I'm sorry I didn't make it any easier for you though," Shinkai adds, his face softening a little.
And then Arakita blushes violently as both anger and relief hit him simultaneously.
"Do you have any idea how many times I've wanted to kiss you?!" he blurts out, as if that is a proper reply but it seems to do, when Shinkai doesn't say anything but slides his hand on the counter, linking their fingers together.
Shinkai smiles knowingly, deep blue eyes speaking promises. "It’s called 'professionalism', Yasutomo."