Work Text:
The secret side of me, I never let you see
I keep it caged but I can't control it
So stay away from me, the beast is ugly
I feel the rage and I just can't hold it
It's scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls
It comes awake and I can't control it
Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?
I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
Skillet – Monster
"Raphael, what did you do?"
The sudden voice that pierced the dark of the quiet lair made Raphael stop in his tracks instantly. He thought he had snuck in and succeeded in his mission of not being found out and what he had done. Yet the voice of his older brother told him otherwise. He spun around and saw Leonardo standing by the kitchen with a disapproval look across his features. That spurred Raphael on.
"I did what I thought was necessary, I took care of dis family." He stepped towards his brother. Ready for another fight and to defend what he had just done.
Leonardo looked down at the twin sais that hung on Raphael's belt. Trained eyes could tell the standard metal that normally shined was now as red as Raphael's bandana. They were coated in blood, human blood, to be exact. He hadn't cleaned them yet. The second oldest had yet to clear away the evidence of his crime and what he had done.
"You went looking for him, didn't you?" There it was. The accusation from the eldest of the brothers. The sound and how Leonardo addressed him made Raphael's skin crawl, and he wanted to start fighting the blue-wearing bandana turtle right there in the lair of their home. But then guilt hit Raphael's shoulders as they drooped, as he realized he couldn't look Leonardo, his brother, in the eyes. But then he realized it wasn't guilt he was feeling; he was just regretful he got caught and found out. He glanced back up and stared his brothers in the eyes. "Yeah…and I'd do it again. You're not going to tell de others, are yuh? Especially Mikey?"
"No, that's for you to tell him not me."
Silence met the two for a few seconds as both tried to figure out what to say next and how to continue this conversation without it escalating into another fight that they so frequently visited.
" So how angry are yuh wit' me dis time fearless?"
"I'm pissed you didn't take me with, I would have liked to stab that son of a bitch."
This got a surprised look from Raphael. Raphael was the hot-headed, angry turtle who wanted to stab and punch his way through life. Leonardo, his oldest brother, was calm, collected, honor-bound, and did everything by the book. They always teased and said that he was Splinter's twin. The eldest hated when they called him that, but it was true. Leonardo wanted to be the perfect son. So it was a bit of a surprise for Raph to even think of Leonardo wanting to wish harm on someone, but then again, they all seemed to lose their shit readily when one threatened their family, especially their youngest brother. Nobody was safe.
"What, you thought you were the only one that got angry?"
"I mean…well, yuh doan show it."
"I just hide it better. Come on, let's get you cleaned up and you can tell me what happened."
Raphael let Leonardo guide him to what they used as a med bay when they got various injuries or wounds to help stitch back up or bandage. They were both silent through the whole thing as Leonardo was as delicate as possible, cleaning out the various cuts across Raphael's skin. The only indication that it bothered Raphael a few times was the sharp intake of breath and his facial muscles wincing at the sharpness of the alcohol hitting the deeper cuts.
"You going to tell me what happened, or you going to leave me in the dark?" Finally, Leonardo cut the silence like one of his blades.
"Well, it all started wit’…."
(Few Hours Before)
All four turtles had come home after dropping April and Casey off and ensuring they were home safe. It had been a long few days, and they wanted nothing more than to relax. There was talking about heading out to the farm, especially after the ugly encounter with Agent Bishop. They needed time to decompress and come to terms with everything that had transpired that was physically and, most of all, emotionally scared.
Raphael couldn't sleep. He tried to lie down, but he was fueled by everything other than tiredness or wanting to seek comfort in the warm embrace of the dream world. That's the last place he wanted to go. Every time he shut his eyes, he kept seeing the buzz saw over Mikey, and there was not a damn thing he could do. The coldness and callousness that was evident and laced throughout Agent Bishop's voice played repeatedly in Raphael's head. He tried to punch it out, but that only caused him to bust another one of his punching bags. He'd have to find a way to fix it or find another one. He tried to pick a fight, but no one was really having it, and everyone had gone their separate ways rather quickly once they arrived home. He tried eating but had no appetite. He tried watching TV, but every time he thought he had overcome and gotten his mind off it, it would circle back.
What if Master Splinter hadn't shown up in time? What if he killed Mikey right in front of them? What if he comes after them again, and this time, Agent Bishop succeeds? If he does, there will not be a damn thing he can do about it. It terrified him to the point that he shut his eyes because he didn't want to watch his brother get hacked and dissected in such an ugly manner. Not to mention, the man had threatened to do it without any medications to at least make sure Michelangelo was not in any pain or suffering. To know that Michelangelo left this world screaming because of the pain that assaulted him was just too much.
Something caught his attention, and he muted the TV. He heard it again, and it sounded like it came from Michelangelo's room. He got up and saw a shadow. One of his brothers must have also heard it and moved to intercept the cries of their youngest. As he silently moved in the shadows to avoid being seen or heard, he got close enough to the door to listen to sniffling and crying.
The one that they all saw their innocence still in. Mikey never forgot to stay smiling and happy, the one they wanted to protect until their dying breath. To shelter him from those who wish to harm him, like Agent Bishop. People who tried to steal the very light, smother it into darkness, and make it dark just like them.
Their sunshine, the happiest of them, was hurt and in pain. The youngest, who saw the best in everyone and the lightness in everything and was their own innocent, had been smothered in the dark. Nobody walks away from something like that and not change. Though Michelangelo would always laugh and joke, there would always be that scar that lingers. That honestly never went away. Agent Bishop had taken something from Mikey that night, making Raphael's blood boil. As he continued to listen in on the private conversation between his two younger brothers, he could hear that Mikey had a nightmare that had terrified him. Donatello was now comforting Michelangelo, trying to get him back to sleep. Yet no matter how much Donnie continued to give hushing sounds and rubbed the back of the younger's shell, he could still hear the crying.
Raphael could not remember the last time he had heard Mikey cry like that. All he kept saying constantly was, what if he came back? What if he found them again? It was at that moment something snapped in Raphael. A dame that had kept back a tsunami of rage that he had always kept in check had finally broken. It took that very moment hearing his youngest brother be so scared of the night and what may lay in weight when he went to sleep.
He moved silently, not making a noise, or so he thought. He didn't catch Donatello coming out of Michelangelo's room just as he exited.
(Undisclosed Location)
The sound of thunder and lightning could be heard off in the distance. Even though he did not want to stop what he was doing, Agent Bishop knew he had to close some windows or risk getting rain coming through the window.
Agent Bishop was studying the genetics and mappings of the blood samples he had taken from the terrapins earlier in the evening. He would be lying to himself if he didn't feel upset that they had gotten the upper hand and gotten away, but he knew it was only a matter of time before he captured them again. The type of personalities and savior complex they had demonstrated multiple times could not let them go silently into the night. No, they would be back. And he would be ready for them. As he went to find a good stopping point so he could get up and start closing some windows, the power went out. The little light coming through the open windows was his only light source at the moment, which was not a lot.
He waited for the backup generator to kick on, but nothing came on. Just silence. 'How odd.' He went to move his hand on the desk to grab a flashlight when something came flying up from his side, and before he knew it, a piece of metal pierced his flesh and pinned him to the desk. He tried not to scream as the pain sent his brain into overload. He ripped the sai from his hand and held it out, waiting for another attack. As he tried to gain composure, he knew who that sai belonged to and who was now attacking him.
"I see you have found my location Raphael. Very impressed. And I thought you were one of the dumber ones of your brothers. I'm curious how did you find me?"
"I have my ways tuh, Bishop." The turtle with the red bandana growled in the cover of darkness.
Agent Bishop started moving slowly, trying to look for the turtle who was attacking him and push for the exit. He was not in his element, and this turtle was. He had studied them long enough to know they moved in the cover of darkness. For humans, darkness was their enemy unless they had or used modern technology to give them the upper advantage. In this case, he had no tool, and this was utterly the turtle's playground right now. Who would have thought the predator would turn into the prey and the apex predator be a turtle of all creatures. The irony in it all. He had to get to the door now or risk being taken down.
He should have been quicker because Raphael was reading Bishop's mind as he flew in swiftly and aimed for Bishop's leg this time, landing a solid enough hit that a noticeable crack filled the room. The Agent went down with a cry as he continued to try and move towards the exit, trying to do a slow crawl, just trying to survive. He was making slow progress, almost turtle pace, and Raphael knew this and stayed in the cover of darkness. Agent Bishop's heart skipped a beat when he heard slow footsteps come from somewhere behind him, purposely sauntering slowly, savoring the moment in his pure agony. He turned around to see only the eyes of the turtle. As lightning lit the sky, it momentarily allowed Agent Bishop to see where the turtle was standing. The one named Raphael was walking towards him with a sadistic smirk on his face. He knew there was no way the Agent would reach the door in time, and the turtle knew it. Raphael was toying with Agent Bishop. Allowing it to think its prey could escape its impending doom.
Agent Bishop still tried, hoping for some fortune or miracle, but as he reached for the door, he felt air move next to him, and the other sai came down full force with brutal contact as it pinned him to the ground effectively. He started to scream, trying to get the sai out, but it hurt too much, and blood started to seep from the wound, making it too hard to get the weapon out the back of his thigh.
Raphael ripped the sai out, moving upwards to rip and tear as much skin and muscle as possible. He then took his sai and brought it down a second time on the other thigh, again pinning the Agent to the floor.
Raphael bent down and was now grabbing Bishop by the collar and holding him still, who had begun thrashing on the floor from the pain overloading his body. Pulling Agent Bishop to a sitting position, the Agent let out a cry as the muscle started to tear from the way the sai was still pinning him to the floor.
"Yuh messed wit’ my brudder. Nobody messes wit’ Mikey. Nobody."
Raphael then let go of one side of Agent Bishop's collar, grabbed the sai, and twisted slowly. Grinning, the Agent began to scream at the sheer pain. He continued to do so until the man was withering and desperately trying to get out of Raphael's reach.
"Sawhry I can't administuh a sedative…..oh who am I kiddin’. I wantcha tuh feel dis. Your country thanks yuh Agent Bishop."
(Back in the Lair)
Raphael finished his story and didn't look up. He knew he should feel guilty. He knew he should feel like a murderer, yet he didn't. He was happy the man was dead. He could never come after them again, especially Michelangelo. Though there would be more monsters they would have to fight, this one at least was not coming back. He looked up and could not read his older brother's face. Was it horror or satisfaction? He wasn't entirely sure.
"Wait, how did you get all those injuries?" Leonardo looked him up and down, now questioning Raphael's story.
"About dat, I did have tuh find Agent Bishop…and I may have had tuh go through quite a few people befawh I got his whereabouts."
Raphael continued to try and read his brother, but Leonardo had closed down and was no longer showing his cards. So Raphael tried a different tactic. "Are yuh gonna tell Mastuh Splinter?"
Leonardo looked up and around to see if any other ears were listening in on their conversation, and he finally shook his head.
"No…no I don't think I will and in fact, don't ever bring this up ever again."
Leonardo stood up and walked away with not as much as a glance back or a word. Raphael scratched the back of his head, trying to figure out what had just happened. Raphael shrugged his shoulders. Maybe Leonardo didn't realize how violent he truly had been and could be. He honestly didn't care. Raphael knew he did what no one else was willing to do, and if that meant tainting his soul for the sake of others, then that was his lot in life, and he was willing to accept it. Whether they liked it or not. It's not like his family already didn't look at him differently from the others. It was nothing new to him.
Raphael went to walk to his room but stopped and turned to go to Michelangelo's room and look in on his younger brother. His brother was curled up with Klunk. The cat opened his eyes into slits and glared at him like, 'how dare you wake me up from my slumber with my master, go away good sir.' Klunk then stretched and closed it's eyes again. Raphael went to turn around and walk out when he heard Mikey's voice.
"Raphie, is that you?"
Raphael turned back, almost wanting to run out of there like Mikey's cat, Klunk, and deny he was ever in there in the first place.
"Yeah, Mikey, it's me."
"What are you doing?"
Raphael almost panicked. What should he say?! Then he just figured screw it and went with his gut. "I just wanted tuh tell yuh, dat, yuh doan have tuh wawhr anymawh Mikey. Okay? I took care of de monstuh. Yuh can sleep easy now, okay?”
"I don't know what that means." Confusion was evident in Mikey's voice.
"That's okay, bro, go back tuh sleep." Raphael turned and went to shut the door when he heard Mikey reply.
"Thanks bro."
"For what?" Now, Raphael needed clarification as to what Mikey was referring to.
"For taking care of the monster."
Raphael then realized Mikey wasn't awake. He was talking in his sleep because what followed was gibberish and words that made no sense. It was a weird situation for Raphael to be in. Either tell Mikey about what had happened and reopen the wound or let Mikey heal in time. In the end, though, Agent Bishop was dead, and he would never harm Raphael's family again.
The End