Chapter Text
“Sleep on now
I heard that a knee makes a good pillow when you’re down”
- Meg and Dia
Calloused fingers lightly trailed down the Slytherin’s face, making their way down from the top of his forehead to his ears, past the beauty marks, towards his jaw and finally back up again to his lips. How? You wondered, pausing your ministrations. How did this young man manage to capture your heart so quickly? Almost as quickly as the rise of his temper upon catching you step out from the Undercroft for the first time. He had scolded, threatened you even with his family’s connections...over some secret room?
You let out a soft laugh and gently shook your head at the memory. Of course, you found out later that it was much more than a simple secret hideaway and it held greater sentimental value than you initially thought; something Sebastian had warned you of, but never paid mind to the actual profundity of it. In defeat, you closed your eyes and tilted your head back as Ominis continued to sleep – his head still resting upon your lap.
Deep down you knew the answer to your question; you had always known and had it not been for certain insecurities, you may have admitted it much sooner. You were an unknown, late-bloomer just starting out on your journey, still trying to figure things out and find your place in this new world that was thrust upon you. He was a pure-blood of the very much established House of Gaunt, descendant of Salazar Slytherin himself, and had already been honing his skills his entire life. Yet, despite your unfortunate first interaction and the rumors whispered among the other students, you found him to be of a kind heart and an ever loyal friend – albeit ill-tempered. His good looks only further helped his case. It was difficult to not be attracted. And it wasn’t until your adventure in the Scriptorium that you finally permitted these intruding thoughts. After numerous attempts to reach out and assure him that you were a genuine friend and that you too cared for Sebastian deeply – he finally folded.
“Are you alright?” Ominis suddenly asked one day after History of Magic.
“What do you mean?” You questioned, continuing the task of placing all your belongings into your book bag. You were surprised he even acknowledged you, “It’s Binn’s class. You know how difficult it is to stay fo-”
“That’s not what I meant.” He replied sternly.
You paused, grip tightening around the books still in your hands, and it dawned on you what he was referring to, “Oh.”
Several days had passed since the incident and not a word was spoken between either of you, regardless of all the classes you had together. It was simply something you could not – should not – discuss, especially out in the open. Nor did you think it appropriate to speak with him of such things. Yes, he aided with the search, but had your relationship with Ominis even reached that level? Sebastian was usually the one you went to, but he was currently preoccupied with Slytherin’s spellbook and you weren’t sure if you were ready to face the person who had cast the Cruciatus Curse on you, even if you had volunteered. At least, not yet.
“Are you alright?” He asked again more softly, “I should have inquired about your well-being sooner, but I was never quite sure of how appropriate it may be.”
It appeared that Ominis had been having the same thoughts. You didn’t realize he cared enough to even consider it and it warmed your heart.
“Ah, well I…” Your voice trailed, the memory of the curse hitting you flashed through your mind, causing you to wince. You were aware of what the curse was suppose to do, but actually experiencing it was on another level; an experience you were not keen on repeating.
You inhaled deeply, finished packing up the rest of your things, and decided to reply with the same sentiment you had upon opening the door to that study, “I survived.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
“What do you want me to say, Ominis?” Your voice was low and hurried as your eyes scanned the classroom. You wanted to be sure there was no one else around listening,“This is hardly the place to be having this conversation.”
“The Undercroft then-”
“No.” You noticed Ominis cock an eyebrow at your terse response. Before he could voice the question, you preemptively explained, “I just don’t know how to face Sebastian right now, okay? Especially with what’s happened...what keeps happening.” You looked up with pleading eyes, though he could not see them,“The Undercroft is going to be the most likely place he will be and I’d rather not risk it.”
“Hm...well, that certainly explains why you’ve been acting so odd lately, especially in the classes you have with him. He won’t shut up about it.” He contemplated your reasoning, pacing for a few moments before finally uttering, “Very well.”
“I do know of another place we could go, if you’d like to continue.” You stepped forward and gently reached out to place a hand on his arm,“I can take you, but you mustn't tell a soul.”
He responded with a curt nod and you proceeded to take his hand, leading him out of the classroom and toward the seventh floor of the Astronomy Tower.
The trek was a long and silent one as you pulled him along. You didn’t think he would have allowed it for as long as he did and suspected that at some point, he would simply let go and brandish his wand – allow the pulsing red light to lead him the rest of the way. But his wand remained tucked within his robes and his hand in yours. There were moments of awkwardness as you neared your destination; marked by the whispers of your fellow students (and even some ghosts) who could not help but notice as the pair of you walked past hand-in-hand.
“With the Gaunt boy?” You heard one say while the other tsked.
Leander didn’t help matters as he hollered across the corridor, “Sallow finally fall out of favor, eh new fifth year!”
You let out a groan and hastened yours steps.
“Where have you taken me?” Ominis asked, when you finally came to halt.
“Astronomy Tower. Seventh floor.” You replied. You lightly tugged him to follow you once more and led him through the door, “It’s called the Room of Requirement.” You scanned the room upon passing through the threshold and found yourself thankful that Deek was nowhere in sight; running errands for Professor Weasley, you presumed, “You think the Undercroft was the only place I’ve been able to practice and catch up with the rest of you lot?”
“No, not at all.” Ominis finally let go of your hand and whipped out his wand wanting to get a better sense of the room, “I’ve heard you did all that whilst gallivanting across the Scottish Highlands, raiding poacher camps, and running errands for our dear Duncan Hobhouse.” He turned to you with a smirk.
Your face warmed, reddened no doubt, as he called you out for your extracurricular activities. Word certainly traveled fast around this school. You chose not to reply. Instead, you plopped down on one of the plush couches and busied yourself with the hem of your skirt. He followed suit and sat down beside you, pocketing his wand once more.
“You still haven’t given me a proper answer.” He stated after a few moments of silence. You turned your head to face him. He was looking in your general direction, though not quite looking at you.“You have become an important person to Sebastian, just as he is to me.” He reached out searching air until his hands finally came down upon your own, “Now, I don’t know if you’d call this – what we have right now – a friendship quite yet, but you have proven yourself and I believe it to be a budding one.”
“I’d like for it to be.”
“Then be honest with me!” He gave your hand a hard squeeze. His voice had risen slightly, but the expression on his features was not of anger – it was of concern, “Difficult as it may be to believe, but I do care. Why do you think I’m so cross with you two?”
You stared at Ominis, his hands still tightly grasping your own. You were returning the gesture just as tightly and finally took notice of the feeling that had been welling up inside of you: longing. To be heard. To be comforted. And for once, not be asked of another favor. Even for just a small moment. His gesture gave you the permission to do that which the rest of the world and even yourself seemed to prohibit.
“I haven’t been able to sleep.” You finally whispered shakily, allowing for your truth to flow, “The evenings come, but rest does not. Every time I close my eyes, all I see is that look on Sebastian’s face. You said so yourself, in order to use those curses you have to mean it. And I don’t want to think that he meant me harm, but -” You paused, thinking of the words you had just spewed, then quickly shook your head, “Oh Ominis, please don’t get me wrong. I’m not scared of Sebastian. If anything, I’m scared for him. He doesn’t know when to stop!”
“This is precisely why I told you both to not even start!” He retorted, harshly at first before taking a deep breath and willing himself to reign it back; you were clearly already distraught, “Why keep delving into this madness?”
“I know, Ominis! I know!” You cried in exasperation, “I was only trying to be a supportive friend; just as he has always been supportive of me. I feel for him; thought we were kindred spirits, but now...now I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried to dissuade him, show him that perhaps there’s another way to help Anne. But he just continues on and on about that damned book! He knows that if I could just-” You gasped, quickly realizing that you had almost spoken about the ancient magic.
Something inside you snapped then. In the end, you couldn’t be completely honest with him and it was maddening. The tears began to well up along with the frustration and your body trembled from trying to keep it at bay. But it was of no use. That tiny crack that you had allowed was enough for the pressure to completely break through.
“Why is this happening?!” You wailed as the sobs finally wracked through your body. “There’s so much going on! Why is there so much going on?! And why must it be me?” The shrill of your voice was deafening. “I’m only fifteen. This was not what I thought it was going to be. This was not how I pictured my time at Hogwarts!”
The tears flowed freely and you continued to wail incoherently as a child would. Ominis was taken aback by your sudden outburst and had a sneaking suspicion that you were no longer only talking about Sebastian. Not knowing what else to do in your current state, he opted to pull you towards him and wrap his arms around you. He held your body tightly against his and you instinctively buried your face into his chest, your sobs muffled by his cloak. He whispered reassurances softly into your ear through all your crying and gently rubbed your back in an effort to soothe you.
You didn’t know how long you stayed with him like this, but somehow in the midst of it, you had fallen asleep. When you woke, your head was resting upon Ominis’s lap and it was already dark; the moon above being your only light source. He too had fallen asleep with one arm lazily draped across your waist and his other hand entangled in your hair.
You shifted and pushed yourself into a sitting position while you rubbed the sleep from your eyes. This in turn caused Ominis to stir from his own rest and adjust his position.
“Sleep well?” He asked groggily.
Rather than answer his question, you replied with embarrassment, “I apologize. For my behavior earlier.”
“Don’t. It was clearly something you needed.” He turned towards you, “Do you feel better?”
You gave a small smile and nodded, “A little. Yes.”
“Good.” He scooted closer, his knee brushing up against yours,“Sometimes a good cry is all you need. And a good pillow.” He sensed your questioning gaze and added, “I heard a knee can make a rather good pillow when one feels down.”
You let out a small laugh and gently bumped your shoulder into his.
“Thank you, Ominis.”
What to do now? You silently asked yourself. Some time had passed since that day. You had managed to patch things up with Sebastian for the time being and your friendship with Ominis only grew. Enough so that even Sebastian had taken notice and inquired why his best friend kept asking about you lately.
You agonized during that time over your predicament once you realized that perhaps what you desired was a little more than friendship. Should you tell him of your revelation? But if you did, what would that entail? Would you have to tell Ominis of your abilities? What of your mission? The keepers? You were relieved to have finally gained his trust and acceptance, but would it be too much to pull him into that fray? Things were difficult enough as they were and it was a breath of fresh air to have someone that never asked much from you. Should you even be allowing yourself to indulge in such things with everything happening around you?
Ominis stirred, tearing you away from your spiraling thoughts and causing you to look back down at him. He shifted his weight ever so slightly, giving you a better view of his lovely features. He then let out a small cough before nuzzling back into your lap. The positioning grew more uncomfortable and you wondered how he had managed to do the same for you that memorable afternoon. As the minutes passed, you could feel your legs going numb, but you dared not wake him, not when he looked so at ease. You had grown accustomed to the stern looks and judging glances he so often gave you and Sebastian. That look of peacefulness did not come often and you wanted to cherish it. And so, you decided to keep that peace; bottle up those worries for yourself and hopefully, one day, the answers would come. But for now, Ominis continued with his slumber and you with your silent admiration before you too nodded off to sleep.