Work Text:
1. All the texts
“Who’s sending you so many texts?” Dazai asks, glancing at Atsushi’s phone violently buzzing on his desk.
Atsushi lifts his phone so the screen lights up. “Gin,” he says, tilting the phone towards Dazai so he can see Gin’s name above the most recent message.
If you don’t come here after work with pizza and release me from this hell hole of incessant whining, you’re going to be very single very soon.
Atsushi’s phone buzzes with a new text.
As in, I will murder him. Painfully. I’ll send you his pickled heart in a pretty jar.
Dazai raises his eyebrows at Atsushi. “I didn’t know you were dating anyone.”
Atsushi gives Dazai a teasing grin. “Apparently, you don’t know a lot about me.”
Dazai pouts, still mad that Kyoka won the competition. “It’s not my fault you only tell Kyoka things!”
Atsushi chuckles.
“Anyway, are you . . . are you going to go?”
“Of course! If Gin kills him for whining about wanting me to veto Gin and give him takeout, then it’ll be my fault.”
“Huh. I didn’t know Akutagawa liked takeout that much.”
Atsushi, who’d gone back to his work, glances at Dazai with a slight frown before he grins.
Well, this should be amusing.
2. The shirt
Yosano stares at Atsushi. When he came in to work, his tie was a bit wrong and no matter what he did, he just made it worse. So she offered to help. In fixing his tie and collar, Yosano happened to glimpse the tag. She recognised the brand on the tag and she knows that Atsushi would never spend that much money on a shirt. He’d say it would be a waste, since his shirts often get ruined.
She hears a soft tap accompanying footsteps that get closer to her desk, but she doesn’t look away from Atsushi.
“Is Atsushi dating someone?”
Dazai taps his fingers against his cane absently. “Not entirely sure anymore. Why?”
“That shirt he’s wearing, it’s not his.”
“How do you know?”
“It’s an expensive shirt. Our Atsushi’s very practical when it comes to his money. He’d rather spend it on dishes or sheets or if he’s feeling splurge-y, it would be on food he doesn’t usually buy or a gift for Kyoka. He wouldn’t buy an expensive shirt, let alone wear it to work where it could get damaged.”
Dazai hums again and leans down to whisper. “The other day, Gin sent him a text that implied he was dating someone who was in their apartment. It could just be teasing, I know Gin is like that around people they’re comfortable with, but then Atsushi implied that Gin wasn’t kidding about that bit.”
“Akutagawa?” Yosano asks, turning to look at Dazai.
“Well, who else could it be?”
Yosano nods. “Akutagawa does seem like the type to find a shirt like that inexpensive. But would he buy Atsushi clothes? I feel like he’d rather spend it on something Atsushi can’t damage. Like an expensive date. Y’know, the experience over the material.”
Dazai’s eyes widen. “Do you think Atsushi is borrowing his shirt?”
“Only one way to find out,” Yosano says, lifting her eyebrows briefly before turning back in Atsushi’s direction. “Hey, Atsushi?”
Atsushi looks up. “Hm?”
“Whose shirt is that?”
Atsushi looks down at himself, as if just noticing that the sleeves of his shirt are longer than he usually wears. “Oh, Akutagawa’s. I spilled coffee on mine this morning, so he let me borrow this one because I’d have been late if I went back to the dorms to change. Well, he threw it in my face and called me clumsy about it, but he still let me borrow it.”
Dazai and Yosano stare for a moment, both equally surprised that Atsushi admitted it so easily. They both expected some sort of avoidance.
“What were you doing there before work?” Tanizaki asks.
“I slept over.”
Dazai and Yosano share a glance.
“Gin invited me to try a new recipe they found and I went because Gin lets me use their fancy toaster to make cute little sandwiches. I was going to come back to the dorms after dinner, but then we talked for hours and it got really late and Akutagawa doesn’t like me being out alone so late. Well, he says he can’t trust me not to get kidnapped, but everyone knows he’s just concerned but doesn’t know how to express it like a normal person.”
“I see,” Yosano says slowly.
Ranpo squints at Atsushi.
3. The phone calls
Atsushi is the type to excuse himself when his phone rings. It’s a very polite habit, but sometimes he answers his phone at his desk, speaks for a few minutes at most, then hangs up.
From these short conversations, the office has come to the perfectly natural conclusion that Atsushi is spending a lot of nights at Akutagawa’s apartment.
Upon asking Kyoka, she simply confirms that Atsushi doesn’t sleep in the dorm often. She doesn’t elaborate.
Today, for the fifth time, Atsushi’s phone rings. Curious because Atsushi never says anything outright, they all watch him glance at the caller ID and sigh — somewhat fondly — before answering. Dazai peeks over when he does and catches a glimpse of Akutagawa’s name.
“I already said I’ll bring food, didn’t I?”
They, of course, cannot hear the response.
“You’re a pain,” Atsushi says, but he says it with a soft smile that he doesn’t typically give anyone in the office. A special smile. “You just want Gin to kick me out for bringing takeout and junk food all the time. You’re going to get me in trouble, you know.”
They watch Atsushi listen and laugh softly.
“Okay, I got it. Can I go back to work, now? I’ll see you later, hm?” Atsushi pauses. “Yeah, if Gin doesn’t mind picking me up, sure.”
Kunikida catches Dazai’s gaze and raises his eyebrows.
Akutagawa, Dazai mouths.
Kunikida nods, unsurprised.
4. The lack of a name
Atsushi never says a name once he gets comfortable with the idea that the entire office knows he’s dating someone. It’s always ‘my boyfriend’ with him.
Well, it’s not a problem for the detectives. They all figure he means Akutagawa anyway.
“Aren’t you going home?” Kunikida asks when the end of the day draws near and Atsushi is yet to pack up.
Atsushi huffs. “I’m being stubborn today.”
“What about seeing your boyfriend?”
“Gin paid him an entire tub of ice cream to betray me.”
“. . . Betray you?”
“He told Gin where I’m ticklish! Now I can’t argue with Gin because they’ll threaten to tickle me. It’s incredibly unfair.”
Tanizaki whips his head around. “You’re ticklish? Where?”
“Not telling. If I do that, then you’ll threaten to tickle me too. But I’d just bite you if you tried.”
“Wh- and you wouldn’t bite Gin?”
“Gin would stab me a little bit if I bit them.”
Kenji tilts his head. “A little bit? How does that work?”
“Pocket knife.”
“Ah.”
Kunikida gives his head a quick shake. “Wait, so you’re not going just because he told Gin where you’re ticklish? That seems a bit childish for you.”
“One time,” Kyoka pipes up, “Atsushi locked himself in the bathroom because I threatened to tickle him if he didn’t do the dishes.”
“Kyoka! That was a secret!”
“Sorry.”
“Well,” Kunikida says, “he’s your boyfriend. I’m sure you know your limits.”
Atsushi nods. “I’ll go back when I’m done with this file.”
Atsushi ends up caving the moment he gets a text from Gin saying that they’re leaving the apartment to pick up dinner and can pick him up on their way.
5. Ranpo
Ranpo is compiling evidence. The entire office seems to have accepted that Atsushi is dating Akutagawa. Ranpo isn’t so sure. Atsushi is certainly dating someone but Ranpo can’t determine who.
Gin, maybe?
No, Ranpo’s evidence includes proof that Gin is not the partner in question. Gin complains about the partner in question.
All evidence points to Akutagawa. It’s the logical answer even without any evidence. Atsushi and Akutagawa are partners. They trust each other with their lives. Akutagawa literally died to give Atsushi a fighting chance. Everyone knows that Atsushi helped Gin nurse Akutagawa back to his feet. Honestly, it wouldn’t come as a surprise if Atsushi announced that he had begun a relationship with Akutagawa.
Ranpo supposes that’s why no one questions it.
But Ranpo does. Because Ranpo sees Atsushi’s little gremlin grins whenever someone brings up Akutagawa. He can hear the change in Atsushi’s voice when he picks up when Akutagawa calls versus as the conversation proceeds, as though someone else has taken the phone.
That’s what led Ranpo to believe it may be Gin. Who else would someone like Akutagawa tolerate to live in his space but his own sister?
And — apparently — Atsushi.
Ranpo corners Atsushi in the break room after overhearing a phone call.
“You’re so lucky Kyoka had to cancel,” Ranpo hears Atsushi say with fond exasperation. “I’ll read to you tonight if you stop bugging Gin. My phone’s going to blow up with all the texts I’m getting for them about your whining.”
Ranpo pauses outside and listens. Eavesdropping is not good, but this is for the sake of a case Ranpo is building.
“Oh, I know, pretty boy,” Atsushi coos, and Ranpo misses the rest as the coffee machine sputters.
Damn that stupid thing.
“At this rate,” Ranpo hears Atsushi say, “I might as well move into your building. Maybe you and I can get our own apartment, hm?”
Ranpo listens to Atsushi’s laugh. He doesn’t think he’s heard Atsushi laugh like that ever. He’d like to barge in and demand answers but . . . it would be so cruel to interrupt Atsushi’s joyful giggling.
“All right, I’ll see you after work. Yes, I will bring you some cake.” A pause. “I love you, too.”
Oh? Ranpo thinks. That stage already.
He waits until he’s sure Atsushi has hung up before he walks in. To his credit, Atsushi doesn’t look the slightest bit guilty. Probably because the fact that he’s dating someone is no secret.
“If I share a secret with you, will you answer a question of mine truthfully no matter what it is?”
Atsushi raises his eyebrows. “I always answer your questions truthfully.”
“This one warrants bribery.”
“Oh? If you think so. What secret?”
“Do you remember Poe? He was with the Guild.”
Atsushi nods. “Of course.”
Ranpo points at the hickey on his neck that he isn’t exactly parading around, but simply forgot that it might be seen. “This is his work.”
“Oh? Oh! Uh, congratulations? Or is this a friends with benefits situation?”
“No, it’s a congratulations situation. Anyway, are you with Akutagawa?”
Atsushi smiles. “I live with him half the time.”
Ranpo scowls. He should have worded that question better. This offers nothing new.
Damn Atsushi and his twisty way around words.
+1. The great misunderstanding
Atsushi hasn’t told his friends that he’s dating Tachihara. He thinks Kyoka knows, but he isn’t sure. But he also hasn’t confirmed their suspicions that he’s dating Akutagawa, so in his little brain, they shouldn’t be so set on their conclusion.
His little game of trying to see how long it takes for someone to outright ask him if Akutagawa is his boyfriend comes to an end when Tachihara shows up at the agency offices.
Atsushi is, truthfully, surprised.
Tachihara is still affiliated with the mafia. He’s still technically a criminal. That’s why Atsushi meets him at the apartment where no one asks questions and plans dates in mafia territory — Akutagawa will protect Atsushi from any ill will of the mafia. They’re partners, after all.
“Hey, you,” Atsushi says when he gets to the cafe and finds Tachihara standing near the door. “What are you doing here?”
“Akutagawa bought me a cane,” Tachihara says. “I wanted to show you. Does it look nice?”
Atsushi looks at the cane in Tachihara’s hand, a strap loosely winding around his wrist. “Does it work for you? Is it comfortable? Does it help?”
Tachihara clicks his tongue. “Gin already asked all those questions. I’m asking you how it looks.”
Atsushi smiles. “You look super cool.”
“You’re so cheesy. You’re not even lying.”
“Well, I’ve been telling you to get a cane for ages. Now you can go places without me!”
Tachihara pouts. “You don’t want to walk with me anymore? I’m hurt, kitten.”
“Shh!” Atsushi hisses, darting his eyes around to see if anyone nearby could have heard that.
“You’re so easy to tease,” Tachihara says with a snicker.
“Shut up. Come here.” Atsushi — carefully — drags Tachihara out of the cafe and into the stairwell. “I thought we agreed on keeping you out of the public eye. Isn’t that the whole reason we’ve only been visiting mafia-owned places?”
“But I missed you,” Tachihara says, finding Atsushi’s hands and using them to figure out where Atsushi’s waist is. “I’m all alone at home because the boss wants me to train to use my ability to compensate my loss of sight before he gives me any work. I get so bored without my cat.”
“You — stop that.”
Tachihara tilts his head. “Honestly?”
Atsushi fights through the wave of embarrassment only because he knows Tachihara will stop if he says yes and as red as it makes him, he likes hearing it. “No,” he mutters.
“I thought so,” Tachihara says smugly, “but I wanted to check anyway.”
“You are so —” Atsushi makes a disgruntled noise and squashes Tachihara’s face. “I adore you.”
“Am I pretty?” Tachihara asks, which is synonymous with ‘Kiss, please?’ at this point.
“Very,” Atsushi says, peppering kisses over Tachihara’s face and relishing in Tachihara’s gleeful giggles. He likes that he can make Tachihara this happy. This purely happy.
Tachihara sighs.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing.”
Atsushi frowns slightly as he gently combs Tachihara’s hair back with his fingers. “You know it’s never nothing. What is it, pretty boy?”
“Sometimes I wish I’d looked at you more before. I’m starting to forget what you look like.”
“Ah.”
“It’s fine. It’s not important.”
“It’s important if it upsets you. But you can’t blame yourself for forgetting. We weren’t even friends before.”
Tachihara sighs. “I know. I know, but still. I wish I knew what your smile looked like.”
Atsushi could offer to speak to Yosano, but he knows that’s not what Tachihara wants. So he kisses Tachihara’s cheek and says, “Well, you have four other senses to get to know me with and I think that’s okay. I don’t mind if you can’t describe what I look like. I know you love me. And hey, at least this way, I’ll never worry about you thinking I’m ugly.”
Tachihara scoffs. “As if. Gin says you’re objectively good-looking.”
“Gin’s trying to butter me up so I take more cooking shifts. Jokes on them, though, I’d cook for free.”
“You’re weirdly good at making me feel better.”
“I would certainly hope so.” Atsushi tilts his head slightly. “Do you want a hug?”
“Yes, please.”
Atsushi leans against the wall for support and guides Tachihara’s head to his shoulder. He cards his fingers through Tachihara’s hair. “Do you want me to take you home? I can read to you and make you something to eat.”
“What about work?”
“I’m ahead on paperwork and I don’t have any open cases. I can clock out early and do some paperwork from home while you take a nap.”
Tachihara thinks about it for a moment. “Yeah.”
“Come on.”
Slowly, they make their way up to the offices because Tachihara likes using the stairs over elevators for some reason, but only when Atsushi is there to make sure he doesn’t trip. Atsushi leaves him in the small room, kissing his cheek, before heading to his desk.
“I’m going to clock out early,” he tells Kunikida. “I’ll take some work home with me.”
“Atsushi,” Yosano says, gesturing for him to come over to her desk.
Almost as soon as he does so, Dazai is there. Atsushi glances at him. “Since when have you been able to move so fast?”
Dazai shrugs. “I bought a slightly longer cane. It’s really good.”
“Oh. Good for you. Um, you wanted something, Yosano?”
Yosano nods.
“Look,” she whispers, “I know what you do in your personal life is your business, but I feel responsible for you in a way and I’d probably fester in guilt if I didn’t say something, so I just wanted to find out what . . . what’s your dating situation like?”
“My what?” Atsushi says, not really understanding Yosano.
“She wants to know if Akutagawa knows you’re kissing Tachihara often enough to do it out in the open like just now and in the stairwell,” Dazai whispers.
“I’ve been dropping hints, but he’s a bit dim about the concept of dating, I think.” Atsushi snaps his gaze to Dazai. “What do you mean, in the stairwell?”
Dazai looks away. “I was going to get a coffee but then I decided not to interrupt.”
Yosano shoots Dazai a glare. “Stop derailing, Dazai. Atsushi, listen, I just . . . cheating’s not nice, Atsushi. So if this is something you plan on continuing, you should probably talk about it first.”
“Cheating? Who am I cheating on? Who am I cheating with?”
He knows, of course, how this entire conversation came to be, but he finds that playing dumb to mess with his friends is a little fun.
“I’ve had exactly one relationship in my entire life and it’s this one.”
“But you . . . but — huh?” Yosano frowns and tilts her head.
“But you’re dating Akutagawa,” Dazai says.
“I never said that.”
“I knew it!” Ranpo hisses from his desk.
“What gave you that idea?” Atsushi asks innocently.
“You’re always so . . . mushy when you’re on the phone with Akutagawa.”
“No, Tachihara uses Akutagawa’s phone to call me. He uses Gin’s sometimes, but Gin works more than Akutagawa does, so Akutagawa is more often the one keeping Tachihara company while I’m at work.”
“But you said you’re practically living with Akutagawa,” Ranpo says.
“I am,” Atsushi says. “We all share the same apartment.”
“You implied that you were dating Akutagawa.”
“You mean you heard what you wanted to hear. Ranpo knew I wasn’t.”
“You duped me?” Dazai asks, a hand over his heart. “My, Atsushi, you impress me.”
“Thank you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, my boyfriend isn’t feeling well, so I’m going to take him home and take care of him. I’ll see you all tomorrow.”
Tachihara is grinning when Atsushi calls his name and taps his arm. “You certainly had fun over there, didn’t you?”
“Oh, absolutely. I can’t wait to hear what Akutagawa has to say when he notices.”
“You’ll have to describe his expression in detail. It’ll be funny.”
Atsushi loops his arm around Tachihara’s as they leave the main office. “Of course, pretty boy.”
“Listen, if you’re going to keep doing that, I’m going to keep calling you kitten in public.”
“Worth it.”
As the door closes behind the two of them, Dazai turns to Kyoka and is surprised to see her jaw-dropped expression. “You didn’t know?”
“Wh- well, it’s not like you did either!” Kyoka says defensively.
“So,” Tanizaki says slowly, “Atsushi’s not dating Akutagawa?”
“It would appear not,” Yosano says.
“Damn. I owe Haruno so much money.”