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Nick was stuck; he was stuck in his mind. He was more on edge than usual. If you sat next to him, he would flinch; if you grabbed his arm, he would pull away; if you tried to hug him, he wouldn’t hug back. It was normal for him not to be so affectionate, but he would never turn down a hug. Nick stayed up in his room all day, and one night Chris even heard Nick crying himself to sleep. Chris would have gone in there to make sure Nick was okay, but the door was locked, and Nick wouldn’t open it.
Nick avoided socializing and turned his head, ignoring the world around him. His brothers began to worry; it hurt them that Nick was going through something and felt like he couldn’t confide in them. During the summer, Nick wore strictly long sleeves and sweatpants. And anytime they went over to visit their mom, she would try and get Nick to change, but he would always lash out and walk away. Chris walked into Nick's room to check on him, but he ended up being asleep. But something was different. Nick was wearing a t-shirt and had bandages all over his arm.
Chris panicked, and his eyes widened. He crawled into the bed with Nick and wrapped his arms tightly around Nick's waist, slightly waking him up, but not for long. Chris fell asleep that night, trying to hold on to his tears. He would bring up the topic to Nick in the morning. He did not want to disturb Nick's sleep.
Nick woke up that morning, confused. Chris had his arms wrapped around his waist and his face nuzzled into Nick's neck. For the first time in forever, Nick smiled and hugged Chris harder than ever. Chris woke up to this and kissed Nick's neck. "Nick I wanted to talk to you about something." Chris said, his voice low and quiet. Chris sat up, wanting Nick to know he was serious. Nick looked at him with confusion but sat up with him. "I wanted to talk about your behavior and all the bandages on your arm." Chris starred with concern in his voice.
Nick's eyes widened, and he realized he wasn’t covering up all the way. He felt his breathing quicken and his face start to get hot. Nick shot up out of bed and said, "Nick, please; I just want to make sure you’re okay. You haven’t been acting normal lately." Nick ignored him and quickly ran to the bathroom, locking the door immediately. Chris followed him but didn’t make it in time, having the door shut in his face.
Chris felt tears fall down his face and started banging on the bathroom door, "NICK!" Chris shouted repeatedly while letting out choked sobs. Matt eventually heard the commotion and ran to Nick's bathroom. "What’s wrong?" Matt asked with concern in his voice. "Nick." Chris said he was not turning his head to look at Matt and was too focused on trying to get Nick to open the door. Matt ran to the front door, grabbing the key to the house. They used the same lock for every room, including the front door. In this situation, it was useful.
Nick frantically looked around the bathroom for any abandoned long-sleeved shirt on the ground, trying to cover his arms as quickly as possible. He took the bandages off and started scratching the cuts on his arm, making them bleed once more. He panicked while looking around for anything that would work. Chris’s voice pleading with him to open the door was not helping him stay calm. Eventually he came face-to-face with the mirror and stopped everything. He just looked at himself.
His messy blond hair from just waking up, blood stains on his arms, and a few drops on his pants Tears streamed down his blue eyes, and he couldn’t help but feel disgusted and disappointed in himself. His life was pointless. He let down his brothers, his friends, and himself. How could he live like this? He should be happy, right?