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Jill Warrick loved to read. It suited her well that she lived in a castle with books filled from wall to wall in several rooms, piled from floor to ceiling. But no book sated her thirst for more than the ones the Marquess of Rosaria, Clive Rosfield gave her.
For hours, Jill had sat on the floor of his room sifting through book after book, helping him to rearrange the shelves, watching him fondly press his finger against the spines of his favorite books. And when in his room, she could pull any from the shelves and Clive would know everything about it from the plot, to the characters, to the settings and themes.
He was a much bigger bookworm than she was, and that was saying something.
When he wasn’t training with the other Shields of Rosaria, or learning fine skills in the art of politics, Clive could be found in the garden on any sunny day with his nose pressed into a book.
And that’s exactly where Jill found him.
He’s grown a fair deal in the last few years, from a young attractive boy to a handsome young man, Clive still had a youthful look about his twenty year old face when it was scrunched up, a twitch in his lip as he studied the words. Jill, just shy of her eighteenth birthday, couldn’t help but notice the way his dark hair fell just in front of his eyes, far enough from his face that he went unbothered, acting as a shield between him and the rest of the world around him.
She strode up to him, and Clive’s head snapped up at her approach. Her heart fluttered when his mouth twitched upward upon seeing her, his blue eyes lighting up ever so noticeably.
“Jill,” he said in greeting. She was still taken aback by his deep voice; though his voice had always been somewhat deep, she hadn’t thought to be so affected as its pitch lowered over the years, yet here she stood feeling flutters in her stomach from no more than her name gently guided from his lips.
She offered a small wave in return and sat beside him. “What are you reading?”
Clive mysteriously turned the cover away from her. “Nothing interesting.”
“I’ve never known that to be the case with you. Tell me.”
Red flushed quickly up Clive’s neck. He watched her for a moment before relenting, marking his page and closing the book so he could hand it to her. He knew that she’d get it out of him one way or another.
“Lover’s Paradise?“ she asked as she read the cover. “Whatever is this about?”
“An island.”
Jill waited, but he didn’t elaborate further. “Is it an autobiography of said island?” she prompted.
His soft chuckle and bashful look away from her had her chest fluttering along with her stomach. She longed to giggle alongside him, but she didn’t even know the joke, only that Clive’s laughter was contagious, and she longed to be infected by it.
“No. It’s… well I wasn’t expecting anyone out here today.” He sighed and took the book back from her, flipping through the pages, searching for something as he spoke. “Two marooned strangers become lovers as they struggle to survive and escape.” He seemed to find what he was looking for and handed the book back. “But it’s a little…”
Jill took it and her eyes scanned the page, reading aloud as she did. “His hand grazed along the inside of her thigh before slipping higher up her skirts until he felt the hair of her—“ Jill slammed the cover shut once again, red encroaching on her own face. “Clive Rosfield! Where did you get such a book?”
“I have my ways,” he said with a devilish grin that had her head reeling. Her only solace from the torment such a look inflicted on her was through her focus on the words on the page. Not that those were any better, not with sentences like: "He laid her back in the grass, his lips caressing every ounce of her exposed skin," and "She gasped as his rough hands kneaded her with eager fingers spread wide, desperate and searching for more."
Jill choked on a dreamy sigh and thrust the book back into Clive's hands. "Are you enjoying it?"
"I'm... not... not enjoying it."
"Fair enough," Jill laughed, glaring at the book. "Are you going to lend me that one, too?"
He snorted, turning to face her more fully. "My Lady, are you interested in this sort of novel?"
Entwining her fingers sheepishly, Jill looked away. She had to admit, she was curious what thoughts could come to mind while she dwelt on the words she'd read. As she looked at the man seated across from her.
"I'm not not interested."
Clive gently tapped the book against Jill's nose as he laughed. "I have one in my room I already have read, if you want it."
"Not to seem eager," she said, standing up, brushing off her skirts. "But let's go, then."
Clive sat atop the railing of the balcony, his leg swinging over the edge as he had done since he was a reckless child. Now, he was simply a reckless young man. Little had changed in that regard, and for all his responsibilities as First Shield of Rosaria, he didn't mind retaining one childish quirk. But Joshua was sick in bed and hadn't been in need of a guard for several days, rarely leaving his room, so when Clive wasn't in there visiting, he was free to wander around the grounds of Rosalith Castle and do as he please. It was a great time to catch up on reading.
And catch glimpses of... other things.
His eyes darted down from the balcony into the garden with expert precision. He knew exactly where to look; it was only the same spot he'd spent the better part of an hour glancing at. Silver hair blew in a gentle breeze as Jill sat on a bench in the gardens, Clive's book in her lap while her slim finger gently turned the page. Her hand rested against her cheek, and his own itched, longing to be near her so he could pull it into his own, to let her rest against his shoulder or chest while she read so he could run his thumb over her knuckles or comb his fingers through her hair. He could whisper in her ear with her that close to him, whisper how he longed to kiss her, how he wanted to distract her from the words on the page with actions of his own to match the descriptions. He'd invite her to his room again, only this time, they'd lock the door behind them.
Jill's feet were curled up on the bench beside her, and she turned the page again, pushing hair from her eyes before returning her attention downward. He would brush her hair away for her.
"You'll fall to your death, son," a voice called behind him, though Clive was familiar enough with his father's voice to hear the laugh in his words. Clive swallowed hard and swung his leg back over before leaning comfortably against the rail like a normal man might. Elwin moved up beside him. "What are you doing?"
Shrugging, Clive tried to appear relaxed and nonchalant. "I was just admiring the view."
Elwin glanced curiously to the evening sky where dark storm clouds hung above them, the wind teasing Clive with a gentle gust that blew a leaf from the nearby tree past both of them as it floated to the ground. And following it's path, Elwin caught sight of Jill. "Oh, that view. Yes, I can see that you were." Leaning beside Clive, he gave his son a nudge to the shoulder. "Why are you not acting on that? You'd have my blessing."
"It's not like that."
"Not yet. But Clive... you've been staring at her since you were a child. You once knocked the Lord Commander over to be the one to escort her back to her room. When you were older, you brought her flowers. Older still, you looked for her each time we returned from a mission out in Rosalith. You would all but run into her arms. What in the name of the Founder are you waiting for, boy?"
Clive's head cocked to the side as he studied Jill. Her hand hadn't moved in some time. "If I'm wrong, I'll lose the person I'm closest to. Aside from Joshua... and you, of course, she's my everything. And I... would never want to..."
Elwin leaned back and pressed his fist into Clive's chest. "If she is your everything, you know what you must do. Don't trap yourself like your mother and I. We have the opportunity to give you a choice. Choose your heart, Clive."
"If I lose her..."
"Jill is your closest friend. You won't lose her over this. You've everything to win, and nothing to lose. She will not change how she feels about you."
"I can't. I just--" Clive cut himself off as he felt a droplet of rain on his lips, as if to silence his ridiculous argument. Blinking in surprise, as if he'd never seen rain before, another landed on his chin, and he glanced at Jill. A gust of wind blew more fiercely, and the pages of her book turned of their own accord, but she made no move to stop them. "Jill. I think she's asleep."
Elwin glanced in her direction and nodded. "Perhaps. I'll go bring her in before the rain starts in earnest."
Clive's brows furrowed and he grabbed his father's arm to stop him. "I- I can get her."
Elwin laughed. "I figured. Ask her to marry you while you're out there. Kiss in the rain. Do something like what's in those awful books you have Rodney and Hanna get you."
"How do you..." Clive asked, skidding to a halt. "I don't..."
"Rodney is loyal to me, Clive. If I ask him what my son keeps having smuggled into the castle, he's going to tell me. Will you lend me a copy?"
Clive skirted around his father. "Absolutely not, Your Grace." And he hurried down the steps from the second floor listening to the echo of his father's laughter all the while.
He ducked outside into the light drizzle as the mist of early rain began to spray him, and he hurried over to Jill, kneeling in front of her. "Hey, Jill," he urged when he saw her eyes closed.
But she didn’t stir.
Clive glanced up at the darkening sky as the rain trickled down and closed Jill's book, setting it in her lap before sliding his arms under her legs and behind her back and hoisting her into his arms with ease.
She'd always been light as a phoenix feather, ever since they horsed around as children, Clive had never struggled to grab her waist and drag her wherever he wanted while she laughed in his arms. Though, in hindsight, perhaps it was he who had the advantage, given that he could hold both Jill and Joshua squirming without struggle. But the young woman in his arms now was peaceful, eyes closed as her head lolled into his chest, and Clive hurried towards the door just in time for the rain to begin in earnest.
For a moment, Clive thought he'd woken her; she hummed into his chest and settled closer to him, nestling her head comfortably against him. But when she didn't stir again, Clive brought her further inside the castle.
Technically, Clive was no longer allowed in Jill's room unsupervised now that they were both adults. Years of quiet giggling with each other had led to a keen distrust of the two being alone together for fear of Jill and Clive reenacting exactly what scenes were in that book they'd been reading. Jill was rarely in Clive's room without Joshua regardless, but even if he brought her there to rest, it would hardly look seemly if someone caught her exiting his room. And he'd never want to tarnish her reputation simply to let her have a rest.
So instead, Clive made his way slowly through the hall and into the library, reluctantly setting Jill down gently against the cushions, his hand holding her head upright while he toyed with a decision.
And sat beside her.
He moved her book off onto an end table and pulled Jill into his side, and she nestled into him once again. He was thankful for her heavy sleep as his hand bent around her so he could finally brush the hair from her face, and then his hand couldn't stop, lightly sliding through her hair again and again. It was peaceful, and watching her sleep in his arms was anything but boring. He could do this all night, long after his arm would inevitably go numb.
His eyes grew heavier as time passed and Jill stayed asleep. She leaned more heavily into him, more comfortably accustomed to how she lay against him. And soon, his own eyes shut along with hers.
But that sense of peace was shocked away by the awareness of a presence. A shadow appeared before him, and Clive nearly jolted before realizing it was only Elwin.
His father passed him a knowing smile just as he pulled a blanket over the two of them. "Move your arm every now and then, Clive."
Clive's lip twitched up, and he nodded groggily. He watched Elwin pick something off the table before nodding his goodnights.
Jill awoke to the smell of fresh rain and the lingering scent of rose petals from the baths Rosalith's servants would often prepare. She was against something harder than her pillow, confused for a moment before realizing there was a rhythmic thumping beneath her ear. Something moved through her hair, a slow drag back and forth with a light touch. She shifted as the feeling soothed her, and she nuzzled into her hard, thumping pillow.
The pillow rumbled with a quick burst of laughter.
It sucked in a relaxed breath, and the thing moving through her hair grew in pressure, and she felt individual fingers added to what was once only the one. A second arm that was draped just over her hip tightened, and she couldn't help herself from smiling. Her pillow was more familiar to her than anything in her own room.
"Is it morning?" she asked, her voice a whisper.
"No," Clive breathed. Low and raspy, she was sure he'd only just woken as well. "It's still dark out and none of the servants are up yet."
Jill sat up slightly. "Where are we?"
"The study."
"I don't remember... coming in here."
Clive ran his hand through her hair again, gently pushing her back down onto his chest as he did. "You didn't. You fell asleep outside reading. It started to rain."
She glanced at the blanket draped over them. "I didn't wake up?"
Clive absently caressed her chin. "No. You'd sleep through anything when you're tired."
Jill shuddered and pressed her face into his chest. "I should get up. Let you get some rest."
But Clive held her tightly once again. "Don't go." She lifted her head to watch him, her face moving closer to him as his gravity drew her in. "I know it's not the most comfortable, but stay with me the night... Jill."
Jill nodded, leaning closer still.
Clive shifted, sitting up a bit, moving suddenly, spooking Jill. But Clive's tired, hooded eyes bore into hers, and she found herself leaning in, closer, closer.
Their noses brushed, a soft touch that they both leaned into, foreheads pressed together. Clive's hand brushed her cheek, his thumb stroking her chin. "Can I kiss you, Jill?"
For a moment, she wondered if Clive had actually been asleep this whole time and this was him sleep talking. Words died on her tongue as her fantasies came true before her eyes. She was waking up with Clive, groggy and open and close. They were lazily draped against each other under a blanket while their noses and heads warmed the other with a fiery touch and Clive was asking to kiss her. It was her dream come true before her very eyes, and so, it felt entirely like she was on the verge of waking up.
“Jill? Have I ruined us?” Clive asked after a long stretch of immobile silence.
“… yes.”
Clive’s brows went up and his hold on Jill loosened. “I’m sorry, My Lady. It was a lapse of judgement and won’t happen again.”
But she didn’t move off of him. “What?”
“What?” he repeated.
“What… what won’t happen again?”
“I…” Clive made a face. “I won’t make a move to kiss you.”
“Why ever not?”
“Why?”
“Yes, why?”
“You just told me not to.”
“No I didn’t.”
“What?”
“Clive!”
Clive flopped back down, and Jill got herself comfortable against him as if nothing had happened. “Jill, what are you doing?”
“If you’re not going to kiss me, I’m going back to sleep.”
“What is happening?”
Jill signed in exasperation. “I said you could kiss me and you told me it wouldn’t happen again.”
“That’s not what happened.”
“What just happened, Clive?” Jill said, starting to giggle. “I’m so terribly confused. Do you want to kiss me?”
“More than anything.”
“Then do it! It’s what I want too!”
Clive snorted as he leaned up, his lips crashing into Jill’s.
Her lips were cold, his chapped. A perfectly imperfect balance between them that set the room aflame with sparks that cast between them. He drew his hands up to cup her face, and Jill's hand carded through his hair, fingers clenching to grasp for more of him. It was slow and unhurried, tired and excited. Jill hummed eagerly against his mouth, and Clive pulled her lip between his greedily.
Jill pushed her forehead back into his, pulling her lips away just enough to catch her breath and allow herself a giddy chuckle. "Clive..." she giggled again, unable to find any words beside his name. He was overwhelming her, his being enveloping her every sense. She could smell him like rain, taste him on her lips, hear him hum, feel his heart.
Clive brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, his lip turning upward more and more the longer he looked at her. "You're beautiful, Jill."
Jill ran her fingers lightly down along his eyes. "And you look exhausted."
"I haven't slept. My arm was numb." Jill chuckled, but Clive let his eyes close as her fingers guided him, his chin tilting up into her hand, her fingers lingering on his lips where he pressed a kiss to the tips. "Is this all a dream?"
She moved her fingers lower, through the scratchiness of his stubble and down his chin. His neck. His throat. "If it is, it's one I don't want to wake from." She pressed her nose against his again, breathing him in as she let his own tickle her skin.
"Stay with me, Jill," he rasped, his words hot against her face.
Jill let her fingers splay along his cheek, pressing another soft kiss to his lips, moving gently as a light breeze. "I'll always be with you, Clive."
He used his hand still in her hair to guide her back to his lips. "This isn't a dream," he said between soft, ceaseless kisses. "I would never let my dreams get my hopes up this high."
Jill giggled again, a deviously innocent sound. "I would. I have. And far more."
"More, My Lady?" Clive pressed, kissing her again before sitting up slightly so he could slide his lips down her neck. "How so?"
"Greedy, aren't you, My Lord?" she said with a gasp as Clive dared a light nip at her skin. Her nails gripped him tightly, and she pressed herself into him. "Any more than that and we'll have to retreat to one of our rooms."
Clive's brow wriggled, and Jill couldn't contain her loud laugh this time. Clive joined her, though he teased her with a 'shush' and another kiss.
"I have wanted this for so long," he said, pulling away so he could stare at her skin flushed in the darkness, lit only by the dying embers of the fireplace. "I was terrified to lose you."
"You could never lose me." She brushed her hand through his hair again, unable to get enough of the soft feeling beneath her fingers. "But I understand. I've wanted it too and had the same fear."
"You could stab me in the heart and twist the knife, Jill, and you'd still never lose me."
"You'd be determined to haunt me for that."
"Haunt you? Who says I'd die from something so trivial as a stab wound? Ye of little faith to believe you'd be rid of me so easily."
Jill laughed again, grabbing Clive's face between her hands and pressing another eager kiss to his lips. "You've woken me up now, Clive," she chastised.
"Me too," he agreed, wrapping his arms tighter around her before sliding them both off the couch and onto the floor while Jill giggled. And there, they spent most of the night wrapped in each others' arms as they let their lips wander until sleep overtook both of them.
Clive had woken to Jill's head tucked into the crook of his arm, blanket tangled around their entwined legs. They'd hurriedly gotten up, realizing that the fire had been stoked and that at least one servant had caught them together. Jill raced to her room, and Clive to his so they could both change, exchanging nervously hurried goodbyes until they saw each other again to break their fast.
When they both arrived, suspiciously together and inappropriately close in proximity, Archduke Elwin set down a book into his lap and smiled at them. "Ah, good morrow to you both."
"Morning, Father."
"Good morning. "
They took their usual seats and a Bearer brought plates of food for each of them.
"Is Joshua still feeling unwell?" Clive asked, glancing at his brother's empty chair.
"Yes, and your mother is attending to him."
"Ah."
There was silence stretching across the table until Elwin sat forward. "So, let me cut the tension in here. Did you both sleep well?"
Clive glanced down at his food while Jill stuttered. "Oh. I... I um... I suppose you... know where we slept?"
"I watched Clive bring you in there, yes." Elwin's eyes glistened and he tossed the book from his lap across the table to rest in front of Jill. "I'm not sure how a book such as this put you to sleep though. I was rather captivated."
"Father!" Clive hissed, reaching for the book at the same time as Jill, their hands brushing, their eyes meeting.
"Let Clive take it, Jill. After all, it's from his library," Elwin teased.
"Lord Rosfield," Jill gasped, placing a hand on her chest. "I... thought I'd left the book outside in the rain."
"I brought it in," Clive hissed. "You read it?" he asked accusingly, turning to his father. "Did you know what it would be about?"
"It's called Lover's Paradise, Clive. It wasn't difficult to figure out." He chuckled and took an unabashed bite of his food. "If you two are both reading that sort of thing, just know that it takes far more than a night on an island to meet the one of your dreams."
Clive couldn't help but meet Jill's eye at that, a smirk rising his cheeks ever higher.
Elwin didn't miss it. He sat back. "And if you ever do happen to meet the one, just come to me and we'll get things sorted officially."
"What of mother's objections?" Clive asked, hope dulling for a moment.
"Is your mother the Archduke of Rosaria? It's my word on this. For the both of you. Though I won't be ignorant of her scheming and pretend to be coy. When you two are ready, come to me sooner rather than later so we can avoid the Lady Anabella's unpleasantness, eh?"
"Father, we--"
"No! Don't answer me now. Enjoy your book together and then come to me when you've reached the end. I'm sure there's a great series ready to be written still." Elwin flicked his nose playfully and took another bite. "Well, eat up, then."
Clive and Jill locked glances and smiled. They had many pages left to fill.