Work Text:
Shit, shit, shit...
Tweek slipped himself through his narrow bedroom doorway, feeling nothing but his heart pounding intensely in his chest. He fucked up, he knew that. Ever since high school started, his pre-existing issues had begun to grow immensely. Since his parents brought him up paranoid and sporadic, he never really had the healthiest mindset regarding anything . He had a lot of issues with addiction and he was especially struggling now. School itself had been weighing in on him heavily, and the social aspect wasn’t any better. His issues with self-harm had been growing worse, but he truly did have an aim to end it eventually. He knew Craig didn’t put any pressure on him to stop doing it, he never made him promise or anything, he just supported him however he could. He always suggested Tweek other outlets to let out his frustrations or depression. He even offered to just call him whenever he was feeling like hurting himself, but he knew that Tweek was exceptionally bad at thinking through things before doing them. That was just who he was.
Tweek knew that he could only rely on himself. That, and Craig.
“Oh, fuck- SHIT-”
Tweek fumbled with his phone, which had begun buzzing just as he entered his bathroom. Luckily, his parents weren’t home right now. They were still at their coffee shop, so that gave him time to try to calm down before they returned. He had been cutting down on his addiction to coffee drastically, without his parents’ knowledge. They usually forced him to drink it because it “helped” with his ADD, but all that it actually did was make his anxiety ten times worse.
“ GOD DAMN IT! ” Tweek yelled at himself, dropping the phone to the floor. He practically collapsed towards it in a panic, the adrenaline in his veins pumping wildly. After swiping at the screen, he finally managed to answer the phone. Tweek crawled into the bathtub, wrapping around himself tightly and holding the phone to his ear.
“Tweek?” Craig’s voice rang throughout the bathroom. Tweek shook a little, but he remained quiet. “Babe? You there?”
“Y-yeah.” Tweek mumbled out, biting at his nails. He was still shaking a fair bit, his adrenaline was not fading. Not by a long shot. He began holding the phone against his ear with his shoulder, now adjusting and pulling up his sleeves up firmly to hide his current issue.
After a bit of silence, Craig spoke softly on the other end. “What happened?”
Tweek hadn’t even realized at this point that he had been crying. The tears had been coming down, he had been too preoccupied to notice. He touched his cheek with his fingers, staring in disbelief.
“Tweek?”
“Oh- I’m... Yeah, I-I’m okay, nothing happened. S-sorry.”
“Tweek.”
“I said I-I’m okay .” Tweek’s voice was muffled again by him chewing on his nails. It was just a habit of his, one of his many fidgets that he did.
“I’m coming over.”
“No!” Tweek jolted, his phone falling to the bathtub floor. He grappled to pick it up again, swearing under his breathe in irritation, “M-my parents are gonna be home soon...”
Craig sighed on the other end, “Dude, you’re clearly not okay. I know you. Can I just come to check on you real quick?”
“I don’t-” Tweek stopped for a few moments, thinking that he heard a door shut outside of the bathroom. He shook the thought away, but still lowered his voice, “ Ugh . Fine. They probably w-won’t care, anyways.”
“Alright, I love you.”
Tweek paused. He didn’t know why he did.
Then, he hung up.
God. Tweek felt like a dick. Why didn’t he just say it back? Oh, god, Craig is probably really fucking sad now. He’s going to hate him. Tweek knew that he was a burden, the absolute definition of the word. A heavy load of uselessness.
Tweek looked down at his legs, staring intensely for a few seconds. Then, he looked at his arms. He knew that he messed up, he was just confused as to how Craig also knew that.
He held himself tightly for the next few minutes, tears still streaming down his face. It was only the beginning of his junior year and he had already relapsed so many times. He didn’t know how he made it this long, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to make it any longer. Was it even worth it? He had to live with crippling anxiety and addictions and he was just a horrible boyfriend to top it all off. Not to mention his shitty parents who only cared about him if he helped their business.
The reason he had made it this far was because of Craig, but god, wasn’t that shitty? How much pressure can you put on a person? He knew that he wanted to make it for himself , but considering how things were going, Tweek absolutely hated himself more than anyone else. He was a piece of shit. Everything that he touches breaks and everyone that he loves will hurt him eventually because of how much of a screw up he was. Craig hadn’t done that yet, but he knew he would. Why wouldn’t he?
That’s why Tweek was hurting him first. He didn’t say that he loved him back because he knew that he needed to self destruct. He knew that he didn’t deserve this kind of love from another person, so he needed to protect Craig in whatever messed up way that he could.
As Tweek’s thoughts carried on, the tears only grew harsher, as he began choking up on his own sobs. He didn’t know what to do. What did he do to deserve Craig in his life? He knew the two of them were friends for a long time before they began dating, but what did Tweek even provide to Craig besides being an annoyance? He always told him that he was an amazing boyfriend, that he was the best person he could ask for... Tweek knew it wasn’t true, but he would listen anyways. It always comforted him for a short while.
A knock on the door snapped him out of his daze, causing him to shuffle out of the bathroom and knock into some of the furniture on his way. Upon opening the door, Craig rushed inside. He would immediately hold Tweek’s shoulders, looking him up and down and scanning him. He did all of this gently, all the while, Tweek’s eyes obviously were redder than tomatoes. He looked like an absolute mess, his hair was even more barbaric than usual, and his jacket-- or rather Craig’s-- was stained with tears.
After finishing his examination, Craig looked at Tweek headon. “Sorry.” He was holding a bag, which he would readjust over his shoulder.
Tweek didn’t reply, instead practically crashing into the other boy. He began letting out heavy sobs, his mind entirely exploding with thoughts once again, all of which were screaming at him to just break things off with Craig to save him from having to take care of him.
“Hey, hey...” Craig hummed quietly, directing the both of them towards Tweek’s bedroom, setting his bag down on the bedroom floor. Upon sitting on Tweek’s bed, he wouldn’t let go of Craig. He kept on crying, letting it all out entirely. Craig rubbed circles into his back, hushing him every now and then and speaking quiet affirmations. He was definitely helping to calm Tweek down, and after a few minutes, Tweek was simply breathing shakily into Craig’s shirt.
“I-I fucking... I’m s-sorry... I’m sorry, I’m sorry...” Tweek mumbled into him, gripping tightly on Craig’s shirt and clutching his eyes shut.
“Stop.” Craig began, pushing Tweek away. He looked shaken up, his eyes looking glossy and almost teary as well, “Don’t... Just, don’t do that, okay? You don’t have to apologize.”
Tweek nodded again, this time looking down at his own legs. Craig ran his fingers through Tweek’s hair a few times, untangling a few of the knots gently, seemingly waiting patiently for Tweek to speak again.
“I-I can’t... I can’t stop.”
Craig nodded his head. “I know, baby, it’s okay... You’re doing good.” He'd hold Tweek's wrists cooly, looking to him for approval. The other boy nodded. The two had made an agreement for Craig to look at the wounds to help properly address it, as Tweek was usually too scared to take care of them himself, and would rather just ignore the scars and let them corrupt. Craig lifted up his sleeves softly, then cringed in the face.
"Alright, let's- let's go clean this up."
The two of them would head to the bathroom, Tweek sitting down on the toilet lid. Craig would grab some bandages from underneath the sink, as well as some disinfectant. He'd pour some of the liquid onto a small cotton ball, then addressing Tweek's wounds softly. He would hand Tweek a wrag to bite onto, which he would immediately grab, gnawing into it and wincing as Craig patted the wounds.
"Shh, shh, almost done-" Craig spoke calmly, then grabbed the bandages from his side, wrapping up the wounds easily. It was almost routine for him at this point.
The two of him headed back to Tweek's room, Tweek holding onto Craig for balance as they did so. He felt sick.
Sitting on his bed again, Tweek lifted his legs up to his chest, clutching them firmly. “It just... I-it’s too much, a-and I just...” He could barely speak, and he felt so fucking pathetic. He didn’t expect Craig to understand, but it seemed like he knew from the beginning what was wrong. It was almost like Tweek hopped from addiction to addiction. He had a small phase of overusing his pills from his ADHD medication in their freshman year. Then when they were juniors, it moved on to self-harm, and it had only been getting worse from then.
“I-I'm scared...” Tweek began, fidgeting with his pants.
“Hey-”
“N-no, I’m... I l-love you too. I love you, so, so fucking much, Craig. I-I meant to say it earlier I was just... Y-you still came, and... I-I want to be with you, I’m sorry... I don’t know wh-why I keep trying to mess everything up.”
Craig moved in closer, hugging Tweek collectedly and continuing to rub his back soothingly. “Shh, hey, you’re gonna be really embarrassed about saying all of this later.” Tweek giggled quietly, some tears still falling out as he did. “You are the best boyfriend ever, a-and... I know that I’m not good with words, but...” Craig began, only to be interrupted by Tweek.
“ God damn it , Craig.”
Craig blinked, “Huh?”
“Stop being so good, p-please. I just... I-I burden you, a-and my addictions and paranoia, and... I-I barely have any friends, and I’m stupid and ugly and fucking disgusting... And, and...”
Craig continued hugging him, giving him a small tight squeeze, “Don’t talk about yourself like that.”
“I-it’s true!” Tweek erupted, pushing himself away from Craig, “A-and I fucking hurt you... I always do, and you hate me... A-and...”
Craig stared for a few moments, frowning a little, “I don’t hate you, hon’.”
Tweek held his arms shakily, looking down for a few moments, “...Y-you should.”
Craig scooted closer to Tweek, offering to hold his hand again, which Tweek would hesitantly accept. “Listen.”
Tweek averted his eyes still, but he listened intently.
“You are the most beautiful, expressive, funny, talented, loving, and intelligent boy I have ever met. I love you, okay? You just get in your head a lot... Also, you do have friends! You’ve been a part of my group forever now. Clyde, Tolkien, and Jimmy love the hell out of you. A-and... The only thing that hurts me is seeing you hate yourself so much.”
Tweek sniffled a little bit, looking up subtly. “Craig...”
“But that... I don’t even care. Even if you hate yourself, I will still love you, and... I-I love being around you, and I don’t care if I have to drop everything just to come and see you, I will . And...”
Tweek shuffled forward, pressing a kiss to Craig’s lips. He wrapped his arms around him securely, holding onto him and practically suffocating him for a few moments. Craig pulled away after a while, taking a deep breath, “ Jesus , dude...”
The two of them snickered for a little bit, holding onto each other tightly. “You didn’t let me finish what I was saying...” Craig noted quietly, pressing his head against Tweek’s temple.
“O-oh, shit, sorry.”
“ You’re also the coolest fucking dude I know . Okay, there, done.”
Tweek giggled a bit more, then pressing another kiss against Craig’s lips. This time he’d pull away faster, “Alright, th-that’s clearly a lie...”
“Nope.”
Tweek shoved the other boy away, sitting up entirely now. He felt his mood improve drastically, but he still felt a large shadow of guilt. Craig sat up as well, looking around Tweek’s room and beginning to clean it up a bit, placing some of the paper plates and soda cans in the trash can.
“S-sorry...”
“ Tweek .”
“Sh-shit, sorry... Ah- God fucking-”
Craig snorted, walking over to Tweek’s bed and readjusting the sheets. Tweek stood in the middle of the room and watched him.
Click .
“Oh, fuck-” Tweek mumbled, looking at Craig panickedly.
The front door had shut, meaning Tweek’s parents were home. Tweek now stood up fully and scanned around his room with fear.
Craig stared blankly, “Um, should I...”
“ HIDE! ” Tweek hissed out distraughtedly. Craig sighed, then allowing himself to be ushered into Tweek’s closet. He gave Tweek a playful little wave as he hid himself between some of his jackets, to which Tweek glared. He was truthfully very scared of his parents’ reaction to him having Craig over. Sure, they were accepting, but he was not ready for the absolute barrage of questions and possible ridicule he’d get for not asking permission before allowing him to come over.
His parents called for him, which Tweek would tentatively oblige. After a little while, Tweek finally gave in to drinking some of their coffee, returning to his bedroom and locking his door. He opened the closet door and was noticeably more twitchy than before. Craig let out a small sigh.
“ Hon ...”
“It’s o-okay...” Tweek muttered, laying himself on his bed and wrapping himself fully around one of his pillows, “I-I just need to s-sleep it off...”
Craig blinked, laying down next to him and kicking off his shoes, “Is that even possible?”
Tweek shook his head dejectedly, “...No.” He pushed his pillow aside, wrapping himself around Craig instead. He held onto him, pressing all of his weight against him. Craig ran his hands through Tweek’s hair a little more, undoing the final tangles that were left. “Y-you didn’t even have to hide in there, sorry.”
Craig practically knows everything about Tweek. He always knew when things were wrong, when Tweek was overstimulated or otherwise upset, when Tweek needed him... They just spent so much time together. Tweek practically knows everything about Craig now, too. It was hard to read him sometimes, considering how blank he could be, but Tweek was able to sense his different emotions pretty easily. Besides, Craig opened up a lot more around his boyfriend.
It wasn’t uncommon for them to spend the night at each other’s houses, and considering the fact that they lived so close, it only made it easier for them to see one another frequently. That was one of the very few benefits of living in a small town.
The silence in the air was only followed by the light humming of Tweek’s ceiling fan.
“C-Craig?”
Craig let out a hum in response.
“...Thank you.”
Craig adjusted his head to look at Tweek in the dark, “Hm?”
“You just...” Tweek pressed his head into Craig’s neck, “You fix things. You fix me.”
Craig grinned a little bit, “I... Fix you?”
“ Uuughhhh ...” Tweek grumbled, shaking his head, “You know what I mean...”
“ Do I? ” Craig spoke teasingly, to which Tweek groaned with annoyance.
“Sh-shut up.” Tweek muttered, holding onto Craig tighter and pushing deeper into his neck. Craig snickered a little bit, to which Tweek bit his neck playfully.
“OW!” Craig yelped, shoving Tweek away barely, before pulling him back in. Right now, all that Tweek was focusing on was Craig’s breathing, which ultimately distracted him from his negative thoughts for a small amount of time.
“How much sleep have you been getting?” Craig asked abruptly.
Tweek suddenly blinked out of his daze, “Oh, uh..” Tweek began fidgeting with his fingers a little, “A good amount? B-better than usual, uh… I dunno…”
Craig raised an eyebrow, to which Tweek would let out a hesitant sigh.
“Wh-what?”
“Nothing.”
Tweek’s insomnia and general paranoia were an extremely challenging thing to deal with. Sure, with Craig he felt a hell of a lot safer and calmer, but realistically they both knew that they couldn’t be with each other all of the time.
“S-stop worrying...” Tweek began, tucking his face a bit into a pillow, wrapping his arms around it now, “I’m- I’m fine .”
Craig stared blankly, clearly trying to get this out of him silently. Tweek just remained silent, starting to feel his mind drift off again. It wasn’t like he was falling asleep though, more so just thinking. The only thing was that he wasn’t really thinking about anything . He was just... Dissociating.
“Tweek?” Craig waved his hand in front of his face.
“Wh- Huh?”
“I said are your parents still forcing you to drink coffee?”
Tweek rubbed at his eyes, feeling himself detaching. It was almost like he was a robot, responding to Craig’s questions in a robotic-like tone.
“Yes.”
Craig blinked, “Are you alright?”
“Uh... y-yes ?”
Craig blinked once again. “Can you say anything other than yes?”
Tweek stared, “...Y-yes?”
At that, Craig narrowed his eyes. Then, he let out a small sigh, “I’m sorry, Tweek.”
Tweek blinked, “Huh?”
“I just-” Craig shuffled a bit, now laying on his back. “I don’t- I don’t understand your parents. I hate that they do this to you, it’s... It’s so fucked .”
Tweek stared blankly, then looking away. He felt something sore in his chest, almost like he could start crying again. His head hurt from all the tears that he had shed, but that didn’t stop his eyes from watering.
“I-I’m okay.”
Craig turned his head to look at Tweek, his eyes adjusting to the darkness fully to see what was happening. The amount of tears that began to fall out of Tweek’s eyes now was absurd, but he didn’t bother to stop it.
“ Woah , woah, honey-” Craig turned his body over, wrapping his arms around Tweek softly, then pulling him in. He would hush him, pressing kisses to his forehead and letting his tears seep into his jacket.
Tweek eventually returned to just sniffling. He still wouldn’t say anything. He couldn’t. Right now, he just felt really overwhelmed, which Craig already knew. The other boy had already taken out his phone, texting what looked to be his mom.
“Wh-what...” Tweek whispered out, his voice hoarse, “What are... What are you doing?”
“I...” Craig cleared his throat, “Do you want to stay at my place?”
Tweek squinted his eyes, wiping them again. “...I, uh, d-don’t want to bug your family-”
“ Tweek .” Craig put his hands on either side of Tweek’s face, squishing his cheeks together, “They absolutely adore you... I think they love you more than they love me .”
Tweek snorted, “ Sh-shut up , no...”
“Well?” Craig raised his eyebrow at Tweek, who would begin fidgeting with his nails anxiously.
“A-are you sure? How will we leave without my parents knowing? A-aren’t your parents going to talk to mine?-”
“Hey, I won’t say anything about it. They’ll probably just assume your parents are cool with it- which, for the record, they usually are.”
“They don’t know y-you’re here right now...” Tweek mumbled, to which Craig tapped his chin. “This’ll be the only time. Promise.” Craig held out his pinkie, which Tweek would glare at.
“Hmph...” He’d cross his pinkie with Craig’s, “This is stupid.”
- - -
“Hey, boys!” Craig’s mother welcomed the both of them warmly, smiling sweetly.
The couple walked into Craig’s house, having gone through Tweek’s window to leave without suspicion from his parents. Truthfully, they never really checked on him at night, not since he was little.
“Hi, mom-” Craig walked in, tossing his bag onto the couch and immediately being given a kiss on the cheek by his mother. He would groan, wiping at the side of his face.
“Tweek! How are you, hon?” Mrs. Tucker would turn her attention to Tweek, who would be fidgeting with his pant pockets.
“I-I’m good, thank you.” Tweek spoke shyly, “You?”
“Oh, the usual... Just getting all my chores done before it’s too late... Oh, my, are you alright, dear?” She’d take quick notice to his swollen eyes.
Tweek gulped, “Um... A-allergies?”
Mrs. Tucker nodded, “Oh, Craig has those too during this time of year... I’m glad your parents wanted you to stay over. He’s been talking about you nonstop, you know...”
Craig breathed in sharply, his face reddening. He wouldn’t speak, only scratching at his neck nervously.
“O-oh?” Tweek questioned while smiling sheepishly. Usually, this would be something to tease Craig about, but admittedly, Tweek felt embarrassed at the moment as well.
“You boys have fun, hm? I made birria... Thomas is working a late shift tonight.” She’d wink at the two of them, then return to cleaning up around the kitchen. Tweek smiled and nodded, while Craig tugged down his hat over his face with embarrassment.
Then, the sound of footsteps was heard next to the two boys. They would immediately perk their heads towards it, only to see Craig’s little sister, Tricia.
“Craig.” She’d walk up to him, immediately pinching his cheek, which would cause him to wince, “You said you’d watch the rest of Jojo with me.” Craig’s face scrunched up, “Ow, stop.” He slapped her hand away, “I forgot.” He’d mumble. Tweek would stare, holding in a laugh.
“It’s fine , you already made plans with your boyfriend.” She would mock, looking at Tweek for a few seconds, “Hi, Tweek.”
Tweek smiled nervously, feeling a little intimidated by Craig’s sister. He’d mess with the strings of his hoodie restlessly, “H-hi.”
“It’s fine, uh... We’ll just do it tomorrow.” She seemed to notice how Tweek looked. His eyes were still incredibly red from earlier, and his face was slightly swollen. She would walk off, leaving Craig and Tweek to look at one another.
“Don’t.” Craig began, now walking towards his own room.
“Wh-what?” Tweek questioned, still smiling a little bit. As they entered his room, Tweek would sit himself on his bed. Craig rubbed at his eyes a little, sighing deeply.
“Sorry about them...” He’d kick off his shoes, sitting down next to Tweek.
“I think it’s nice...” Tweek smiled to himself, kicking his legs, “They really care.”
Craig looked at him with a small frown, “Oh, uh...” He’d smile a little, “Yeah... Yeah. I guess you’re right.”
The two of them sat there for a few moments, the air growing still. Then, Tweek let out a small sigh.
“Craig?”
Craig looked at him quietly.
“I, uh... S-sorry, I keep doing this, but... I’m sorry. For- for everything.” He’d say, looking down at his hands, then to his wrists. “I didn’t... I-I don’t know why I do this.”
Craig placed his palm onto Tweek’s, giving a small reassuring smile, “I don’t care what you do, I will still love you, okay?”
Tweek put his legs up to his chest, averting his gaze.
“I know you’re trying, hon... I know it isn’t that easy.” Craig would move closer, pressing a small kiss onto Tweek’s cheek, “We’re going to go through it together.”
Tweek sniffled a little, then let out a small huff of laughter, “ You’re so cheesy ...”
Craig smirked a little, “Yeah?” He’d wrap his arms around Tweek’s shoulders, planting another kiss onto the side of his face, “I can get worse.”
Tweek’s eyes lit up, but not with excitement, no, no... This was absolute fear .
“No. Craig-”
Craig suddenly sat up and made his way to his dresser. His eyes caught onto his record player, then looking back at Tweek with a shit-eating grin.
“Craig, wait -”
It was too late, Craig had opened it up. Tweek would approach him, standing by his side. He didn’t stop him from what he was doing, but Tweek clearly already looked humiliated. His entire face was pink.
“ Craig , no, seriously, come on, man, this doesn’t even work anymore-”
“It has worked one hundred percent of the time.” Craig held up a finger, “Also, it’s awesome.”
Tweek glared at him, “You h-have a phone .”
“I like analog.” Craig frowned.
Tweek just went and sat back on the bed resentfully, “Ugh... Whatever, I can’t stop you.”
“Nope!” Craig said, grabbing one of the old records from beside the dresser. He’d carefully shake it out and into his arms, fully concentrating.
Tweek knew exactly what was about to happen.
Suddenly, the record began spinning, and eventually, a familiar tune would play.
“ Girl, close your eyes... Let that rhythm get iiiin toooo youuuu... ” Craig sang lowly, almost mockingly. Tweek held in his laughter, kicking his legs. He was entertained, but he wouldn’t admit it.
“ Craig .”
“ Reelaxxx your miiind... ” Craig held out a hand, to which Tweek stared at him blankly.
“No, n-no way. I’m not dancing to Michael Jac-”
“ Lay back and groove with mine, ” Craig yanked Tweek up, holding him by his waist and swaying him around, “ You gotta feel that heat! And we can ride the boogie! ”
Tweek was shaking nervously, but he couldn’t help but burst out into laughter now. He continued cackling for a good while, but Craig wouldn’t let up.
“ I wanna ROOOOCK with you! ” Craig clapped his hands, then swinging Tweek around again, “ All night~ ”
“ CRAIG -” Tweek screeched as Craig would dip him, then swinging him back up.
“Oh, shit. Sorry, babe.” Craig broke character for a moment, realizing that may have been a little too much. His face flushed a bit, but Tweek continued to laugh at him.
“ We’re gonna rock ...” Tweek would mumble out quietly, to which Craig’s eyes lit up.
“ ...The night awaaaay! ”
Craig swung Tweek around a few more times, this time gently. Tweek continued to laugh his ass off, and for a few moments, he forgot why he had even been upset in the first place. He knew that his issues with self-harm weren’t really something that could be “cured” or “fixed” just by talking about it, and the fact that Craig didn’t make a big deal out of it was something Tweek always appreciated.
Ever since middle school, Craig would do this silly routine. Whenever Tweek was having a bad day, Craig would put on a song and perform it for him. It wasn’t really something that Tweek would expect Craig to ever do, but weirdly enough, he was a really good singer.
Apparently, Craig did it a lot for his sister when he was younger, so that might have been the reason why he was so good at it. Needless to say, though, it always worked. Tweek would always cry with laughter. Not without being incredibly embarrassed.
After the song finished, Craig would do one last dip, kissing Tweek. All the while, Tweek would still be giggling to himself, eventually wiping at his eyes from how hard he’d been laughing. By now, Craig was panting and wiping the sweat from his forehead.
“ God , I see why I don’t do that as much anymore.”
Tweek snorted, pressing a kiss to the side of Craig’s face, “I love you.”
Craig grinned with pride, then giggled a little, “So you do like it-"
"Don't push it." Tweek warned, but he couldn't hide his smile now.
Craig was definitely the best boyfriend ever. Like, probably in the whole world. He knew that he was lucky to have someone like him, and he knew he wouldn't ever be willing to let him go. Tweek knew he had self destructive and self sabotaging habits, but he was going to try his best to steer clear of those from now on. It didn't matter how many times Tweek would break down like this, Craig was always going to be there.
And to Tweek, that was enough.