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Hizashi woke up feeling on edge. He knew there was no particular reason for it. His ADHD meds and antidepressants have been working like a charm these past few months, since he changed his psychiatrist, and he hasn't felt like falling apart in as long. But for the past couple days he could feel it building inside, this overwhelming urge to just curl into a ball and cry.
The worst thing was the guilt. He knew there was no reason to be so down. All three works were going smoothly, Shouta hasn't been hurt during patrol in months, no personal or relationship drama and yet... He couldn't help it.
When he stumbled out of their bedroom that Saturday at quarter past one, sleeping in after his Friday show as usual, he was greeted by a soft music coming from the speakers and Shouta's gentle humming in the kitchen. The domesticity and peacefulness of the weekend did little to soothe his frayed nerves, on the contrary - for some reason it made him want to cry even more. He padded over to the kitchen where his husband was preparing something by the stove and the smell was absolutely divine. Hizashi quickly came up to him and wrapped his arms around Shouta's waist, burrowing his face in the crook of Shouta's neck and inhaled the calming scent of his lavender soap.
Shouta, attuned to his husband's needs as always, turned around to wrap his arms around the others neck and gently petted his hair.
"It's ok, Sunshine," he murmured, "I know you've been feeling down these past couple days, let me take care of you today."
Hizashi felt himself just this tiniest bit closer to crying.
"But it's dumb," he whispered into Shouta's shoulder. "I have no reason to feel like this."
His husband was now rubbing soothing circles on his back and was quick to shush him. "Love, we both know mental health knows no rhyme, no reason. It happens. The important thing is that you allow yourself be helped, alright?"
Hizashi nodded into his shoulder, letting just the tiniest bit of tension bleed from his shoulders.
Shouta pressed gentle kiss to Hizashi's temple. "Now shoo, get comfortable on the couch and I'll bring out breakfast in a moment."
"Do you want me to help you?" He asked raising his head from the safety of Shouta's shoulder. The man shook his head. "Today, I'm doing all the work," he reiterated, kissing the freckles on the bridge of Hizashi's nose. "Now go," he shooed him out of the kitchen and Hizashi dutifully took seat on their cream-coloured, well-worn sofa. Almost immediately, he felt like melting and becoming one with the furniture but the smells from the kitchen were too good to miss out on.
Soon enough, their coffee table was filled with Japanese breakfast and Hizashi's favourite - American pancakes with whipped cream and blueberries. He looked at Shouta with watery eyes.
"I don't deserve you," he whispered, snuggling into his husband's side.
Shouta embraced him and hugged him impossibly closer, almost pulling him into his lap. "Of course you do. But it's okay if you don't believe it today, I'm not going anywhere regardless."
And that was enough. Silent tears started running down Hizashi's cheeks while Shouta was keeping him close and whispering sweet nothings and reassurance into his ear. It took almost half an hour, the breakfast gone cold long ago, but the blonde finally managed to calm down and sniffled loudly. "I'm sorry," he murmured and Shouta's embrace around him tighten even more.
"If you apologise one more time, I am going to smack you," he warned lightly and Hizashi laughed.
"You wouldn't," he retorted and moved away to wipe away tears staining his cheeks, but Shouta was quicker and took his face in his hands and started pressing feather-light kisses to the reminder of Hizashi's breakdown.
"Whatcha doing, Shou," Hizashi asked teasingly, some light coming back to his voice.
"Kissing it better," Shouta whispered against his skin and Hizashi giggled. "Now stay still, I'm not done," he ordered. It didn't help Hizashi giggles, but he did his best to stay still until Shouta finished his ministrations by pressing soft kisses to his eyelids, tip of his nose and eventually his lips.
"Better?" He asked, pressing their foreheads together.
"Much," confirmed Hizashi, nuzzling into Shouta's neck. "Now food, I'm SO hungry!"
Shouta chuckled and they ate their breakfast, not bothering with the fact it was lukewarm at best.
"Maybe take a bath? And I'll wash your hair, I'm sure you didn't have energy to untangle it properly before the show," Shouta suggested as Hizashi was diving in the pancakes.
The blonde nodded, mouth full of pancake, relieved he won't have to deal with the crusty gel and hairspray himself. He quickly swallowed and looked at his husband with utter admiration.
"I love you so much," he whispered, gently caressing Shouta's hand.
"I love you too, Sunshine. Now go, soak in the bath and I'll be with you in a moment."
Hizashi dutifully stood up and went to the bathroom, only to find his favourite sweatpants and oversized hoodie already prepared. If he hadn't just cried his heart out, he was sure tears would flow again. Instead he felt himself falling in love just the tiniest bit more. He quickly shed his pyjamas and laid in the bath, filled with lavender and chamomile bubbles. The more he soaked in the water, the more he felt himself relaxing and all the residual sadness was being replaced with calmness and utter adoration for his husband.
Soon he was joined by Shouta, who stood in the doorway and admired his husband for a moment.
"You're beautiful," left his lips before he could stop himself.
Hizashi, who was laying with his eyes closed, startled. "Shouta!" He whined, "you can't just say something like that!"
"I can and I will," Shouta replied, coming up to the bathtub. "Ready for some relief?" He asked, grabbing small bucket they had for this purpose.
Hizashi, with slight blush on his face from the unexpected compliment, sat up and let Shouta take rinse his hair with warm water. Soon enough, Shouta was lathering golden hair in special shampoo and massaged Hizashi's scalp, which was received with a hum of approval.
"Feeling better, Sunshine?" He asked quietly, applying the conditioner.
"Much better, thank you, Starlight," Hizashi sighed and leaned into the touch.
Shouta hummed in acknowledgment and rinsed the hair. Once done, he enveloped Hizashi in their fluffiest towel and pressed gentle kiss to Hizashi's temple. "Get dressed and I'll brush your hair once you're done."
"You're too good," Hizashi murmured, bracing himself for the incoming protest.
"You know you'd do the same for me, sweetheart." And there it was. Nonetheless, it was the truth so he simply nodded in agreement and pulled the hoodie on.
Soon enough, they found themselves sitting on sofa, Hizashi cross-legged between Shouta's thighs and his husband was gently brushing his hair, mindful not to pull too strongly and carefully untangling the knots. Hizashi felt like melting and by the end of the process, he was laying on Shouta's chest and snoring lightly. Shouta chuckled and carefully laid them on their sides, cuddling Hizashi close to his chest.
When Hizashi woke up, it was already nighttime.
"Just in time, Sunshine," Shouta murmured against his forehead. "Our food will be there soon.
Hizashi, who blearily opened his eyes, perked up at it significantly. "What did ya order?" He asked hopefully.
"Indian, of course."
Hizashi happily nuzzled their cheeks together. "You're the best."
Shouta smiled. "I know."
"And cocky, I like it!"
That got him a smirk. "I'll show you cocky later if you're up for it."
Hizashi flushed smacked Shouta's shoulder. "I was trying to be cute here!"
Before Shouta could retort, the food arrived and they settled down to watch some silly American TV show Hizashi was fond of, the blonde happily snuggling into his husband.
When the clock struck ten pm, Shouta stretched.
"Let's go to bed, shall we?"
Hizashi nodded in agreement and they made their way to the bedroom.