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MEET CUTE NYC VIDEO 74: BLOND MAN + LEATHER MAN
Two men are walking down the sidewalk with canvas bags full of fresh vegetables and other food poking out of them. One is slightly taller with long, dark, graying hair, and a short, salt-and-pepper beard. He’s dressed in black jeans and a zipped up black leather jacket. The other has blond wavy hair, and is wearing a turquoise suit with a white button-down shirt and gold velvet loafers. Blond Man is talking animatedly to Leather Man, who is listening and smiling.
Interviewer <Approaching the couple, and off camera for the duration of the video>: Excuse me, I’m sorry, but are you two a couple?
<Leather Man looks over with skepticism, slows down a little but still walking.>
Leather Man: Why?
<Blond Man, meanwhile, perks up and looks right to the cameraman.>
Blond Man: Yes! We are a couple! <His face lights up with a smile.>
Interviewer: Can you tell me the quick story of how you first met?
<As Blond stops, Leather does too. Blond encourages him slightly. They both laugh, and turn to look at each other.>
Blond: We actually met as campers at a summer camp when we were … 12?
Leather: Yeah, 12. So, I guess about 30 years ago. A little more?
Blond: 30 years! I can’t believe it’s been that long.
<He smiles at Leather, then turns to the camera .>
Blond: I had been a camper there for a few years, so I was all set to hang out with my old bunkmate. But then I was introduced to this new kid in my cabin <bumps Leather’s shoulder> and … <turns back to Leather, smiling> I didn’t know what was coming, but I knew I had met someone special.
<Leather smiles back at him, obviously touched.>
Interviewer: What were your first impressions of each other?
<Leather’s eyes light up as he leans in to answer.>
Leather: I couldn’t believe there was another kid from New Zealand!!
Blond: <Jumping in a bit on Leather’s talking> Yes, though I'm not really –
Leather: – He’s not really from Aotearoa, but his mum was, and it’s where I grew up, obviously, from the accent <he laughs a bit> , and it was really great to connect on that. I was new to camp, and still pretty new to the US, and I was really out of my element. I was homesick and … and here was this sweet, goofy kid with a similar accent to mine. And it turned out we both liked to read and had a lot in common in our backgrounds, so we just bonded early. I thought he was, well. <He pauses> I knew then I thought he was so nice and funny. It took me a few years to realize that I was also finding him very, very cute.
Blond: <Looks down and demurs a bit, then back up at the camera> You would never have known he was nervous. When we first met, he seemed so confident and self-assured. <He turns to look at Leather> I was so in awe of how you just drew everyone to you. I thought you were far too cool to be friends with me, I could hardly believe we were actually friends sometimes.
Leather: <Playfully rolls his eyes> Oh, shut up. <They both laugh.>
Interviewer: So what happened next? How did you two go from cabinmates to dating?
<They look at each other and smile.>
Blond: Well, we were cabinmates with each other for a few more years, and we got pretty close. So many late night talks and bonding. He was so lovely to me – the way he listened and shared. At the time, I mean, I didn’t understand that two men – I mean, we were so young. I didn’t understand that I had a crush, or really, more than that – that I was in a little bit of love with him …
Leather: <Jumping in, and not taking his eyes off of Blond> I think I understood a little more, but I was still so young and scared. <He turns to look at the camera> You have to understand, he was my very best friend. He was one of the most important people in my life. The idea of doing anything to give that up, at the time, it seemed … I just didn’t want to lose him early, you know? I knew we’d eventually leave this bubble of summer camp and lose touch – I just kept thinking I wanted to hold on to every moment we had.
Blond: <Looking at Leather with wonder> I was your best friend?
Leather: <Smiling slightly, talking a little more softly> Of course you were.
Blond: <He takes that in for a minute, before turning back to the camera, shaking his head a bit> We did lose touch eventually. <A smile breaks out on his face> But we reconnected about eight months ago, when our summer camp hosted a reunion. We’d both lived whole, robust lives in the ensuing 25 years, but as it turns out, we’d never really stopped thinking about each other.
Leather: <Also smiling> We’d kind of stayed in each other’s minds – and in each others’ lives, too, in that way. <He looks at Blond, then back at the camera, with a mischievous grin> Do you know that this guy wrote journal entries to me? What a sap, right? <Blond swats his shoulder, and they both laugh.>
Leather: But seeing him again at the reunion was … <he looks away a minute, thinking>
Blond: It was like a dream.
Leather: <looking back at Blond> Yeah, it was. You know, you were why I went in the first place. But imagining what it would be like to talk to you, and then actually doing it … yeah, just like a waking dream.
Interviewer: After you reconnected, what did you do on your first date?
Blond: We went to lunch in the city the next day after the reunion. I had just re-found him, <looks at Leather and takes his hand> I wasn’t ready to say goodbye again.
Leather: Heh. And then lunch turned into a walk, and then dinner. And then a nightcap. And then … <Leather grins.>
Blond: <Jumping in> Oh hush, the kids could see this!
Leather: I’m pretty sure the kids know we’re dating.
Blond: I know that! They don’t need …
<The interviewer interrupts.>
Interviewer: What’s the secret to successfully reconnecting after so long?
Blond: I think it’s important to share about your lives, and if you can, try to appreciate some of that time apart. You may mourn what you lost, but try not to dwell there. There’s so much future still to be had. You can still create a whole, beautiful life together.
Leather: Yeah. And it helps to have been in love with him the whole time. <He looks at Blond and smiles softly>
Interviewer: What’s your favorite thing to do as a couple?
Blond: Oh, everything! We love eating great food and drinking quality drinks – you know he’s a chef, right? – so he’s teaching me to cook. Oh, and he’s showing me parts of the city I never knew, having been suburban for so long! I love spending time with him and my kids, too. It’s just, everything is fun with him.
Leather: Doing anything with him – it’s like I’m doing it all for the first time again. Things seem new and exciting through his eyes. It’s pretty fuckin’ great.
Interviewer: What are you most excited about for the future?
Blond: We’re moving in together at the end of the month next month! I can’t wait. I feel like I’m starting the next part of my life.
Leather: Yeah. It’s the little moments I’m looking forward to the most, like having tea together every morning, or folding each other's laundry, or just hearing about his day when we get home. Just – just walking up the stairs to the front door, knowing he’ll be in there, happy to see me <his voice breaks a bit> – what a fuckin’ gift, man. <He takes a breath.> Also, I’m just looking forward to creating a deeper relationship with the kids. That’s – that’s been an unexpected gift, but a wonderful one.
Blond: It’s a gift for all of us.
Interviewer: What advice would you give to a middle aged couple just starting out?
Blond: Hey!
Leather: You have to communicate. <He looks pointedly at Leather> You have to tell each other what's going on, what’s making you happy or afraid, so you can face it together. Nothing and no one is perfect, you know? The important part is that you go forward as a team.
Blond: <Leaning into the camera> That was a bit of a message to me.
Interviewer: Yeah, I picked up on that.
Blond: For me, I’d say: don’t give up on each other. Don’t give up on yourself. Take the risk to be open, to be vulnerable. You have so much to gain if you do.
Interviewer: OK, final questions. Eight months – or 25 years – in, what’s your favorite thing about each other?
<They both take a deep breath, and turn to look at each other.>
Leather: Have you seen his arms?
Blond: Oh, stop!
<They both giggle>
Blond: Really though, I don’t know how to choose. He is brilliant, he’s kind, he’s funny. He has such a big, open, loving heart under all those black clothes. He can be a tough business leader, or a creative and passionate artist, or precise and calculating like an engineer, but at the end of the day, he’s just a thoughtful and loving man. <He turns to Leather> I love everything about you.
Leather: <Looks at Blond for a moment, before collecting himself to answer> He lets me be me. He loves every version of me. I can really be myself. And he’s up for anything! He’s a bit of a lunatic, you know? Just always finding a way to say yes. I love that, whatever he does, he does it with his whole heart. It’s a bit of an inspiration, honestly. It’s a breath of fresh air, every day. It’s just like … it’s as if I lived my life underwater, and then suddenly I could take a deep breath for the first time.
Blond: <To Leather> Oh, my heart. That’s so lovely of you to say.
Interviewer: What are your names?
Blond: Stede! Like Steve, but with a D.
Leather: I’m Ed.
Interviewer: Thank you both so much.
<As they walk away…>
Stede: That was so wonderful!
Ed: C’mon, let’s get home so we have time to cook dinner.