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When they first meet, Uhura is the one who introduces them. James holds out his hand and Spock looks to it wondering briefly if it was a joke but James's smile is so sincere that instead of correcting him, Spock puts up his shields and shakes James's hand. The other seems pleased, covering their hands for a fleeting moment before letting go and Spock has the oddest sensation of tingling skin that he pointedly ignores.
"Join us." He asked and Uhura nodded eagerly until Spock slid into the vacant chair at their table.
It was surprisingly easy to be swept away by conversation with James. Uhura had bid them a good night later on and the two continued even then, talking until almost everyone had filtered out of the room.
Neither of them noticed the time until the clock on the wall caught Jim's attention another hour later.
He cursed under his breath, "I think I've held you hostage long enough, I'm on the next shift so we should probably get some sleep."
"I do not require rest at this time but it would be beneficial for you before your duty on the bridge starts tomorrow." Spock replied.
"Agreed, can't let you down, now can I?"
Spock raised a brow but Jim only offered a quirk of his lips, "I'll take you up on that offer of chess soon. I'm glad we got to speak today."
Spock nod, "It was satisfactory meeting you, James Kirk."
"Jim."
"Jim." Spock amended.
"Goodnight, Mr Spock."
"Goodnight, Jim."
x
It's not soon after that Spock finds out Jim has insomnia. Since he shadows the bridge crew, he and Spock are assigned the same Alpha shift which meant while they worked together, they were also off together. Spock was probably the only other person on board that slept as little as Jim did, both of them discovering the little fact during some trivia personal questions over that game of chess both of them had promised to get to.
"Is there a reason for it?"
Jim looks a little embarrassed when he dips his head, "Ah, let's not get into that."
"Very well, I didn't mean to pry and only thought perhaps I could offer a solution. "
"If you have better things to do than spend your free time and nights with me, by all means, don't let me keep you, Mr Spock." Jim chuckled, sitting back in his chair as he finished a move.
Spock found himself catching the movement of Jim's thighs spreading and his hips adjusting in his seat to get more comfortable, the shift making his throat dry. He shakes the feeling, looking back at the board and moving his queen to capture another pawn.
"I believe it beneficial to spend time together even though there are 'better things to spend my time on' , like you said."
Jim can't hide a small smile, "Since we might be on a bridge together in the future?"
"Indeed." Spock replies quickly, not sure why his heartrate suddenly changed. It wasn't a lie.
"Is that the only reason?"
Spock's gaze moves away from Jim's hand hovering above the board and falls on his face again, a playful look in his green eyes.
"Affirmative."
Jim only hums and their game continues with the conversation drifting to Spock and Sam working together.
It's only later when they finally decide to retire that Spock replays the memory in his head and wonders if perhaps there was more meaning to Jim's words.
x
After a month, they start to play in Jim's room. At first Spock declined but later he found himself in front of the door to tell Jim he reconsidered and the look on Jim's face stirs something in him.
It's more comfortable, he tries to convince himself. The both of them have no pretence here, communicating freely or simply sitting in silence to provide the other with company until they would feel the tug of slumber finally coming.
And so they began to spend more and more of their evenings together when neither could sleep and along the line they slowly began to fall.
They looked forward to every private moment, if simply to sit with the other and look at them without having to hide the obvious affection. Neither spoke of it to the other; these feelings creeping their way into both of their chests. Jim suspected if he brought it up Spock would deny it anyway. The Vulcan seemed to remain cautious whenever the topic of emotions came up even though he seemed perfectly comfortable discussing it with Jim privately at the same time.
They probably should bring it up though.
At first it catches both of them off guard, neither knowing who leaned first but there they are, lips briefly brushing against the other's. Spock bids Jim goodnight for the evening when they separate, leaving Jim standing wide eyed at his door. He fully believed that didn't really happen -
x
Then it takes days where neither spends the night anymore.
"Look-" Jim barges into Spock's room on day 5, "I'm sorry about the kiss but I am literally going insane during sleep hours and I want my friend back. We can just ignore all of whatever that was so stop avoiding me. Please. "
He's breathing heavy, uniform wrinkled and hair sticking up in all directions.
"I haven't been avoiding you, Jim." Spock says slowly, looking up from the report he had been busy annotating.
"You haven't?"
"I thought your brother would inform you that I was needed in the science lab. We've gotten new specimens that they needed my expertise on while studying."
"Oh."
"I assume you were not informed?"
"No, must've slipped Sam's mind." Jim says and he suddenly feels like such an idiot.
"Sorry, didn't mean to go off on you like that. I'm just tired and I missed our chats and playing together." He runs a hand through his hair, something Spock assumed he's done often the last few hours if he were to go by the state his hair was in.
"Understandable, I too have grown to enjoy our evenings spent conversing or otherwise."
"Which is Vulcan for you miss them too?" Jim looks hopeful and Spock finds himself unable to deny him that.
"Yes, Jim. I miss them too." He conceded. It wasn't a lie, Spock has come to yearn for them as well, not that he would admit that.
Jim let out an airy laugh in obvious relief, "Okay, so you're not mad about the kiss?"
"I am not."
He couldn't be; he was almost certain he was the one who initiated it. Jim's eyes had been so lovely and when he tilted his head at the door, fingers brushing Spock's wrist, Spock had a moment of utter weakness.
"Good. Good."
"You repeated your statement."
"Yeah." Jim says dumbly. He's suddenly at a loss for words, realising he's in Spock's room for the first time and that Spock didn't say if he enjoyed the kiss or not. He could just ask him but then Spock would ask why he deemed the information necessary and-
"Have you been sleeping at all?" Spock interrupts his thoughts before they can go too far.
"Ah, some." He says sheepishly, a hand going to the back of his neck.
Spock nods like he knows exactly what Jim means and Jim tries his best not to feel self conscious over that. He has been trying to sleep but the lack of Spock's presence did nothing to settle his mind in the evenings, which ended with him tossing and turning for most of the night.
"Perhaps a game would ease your mind?"
He gestured to the side.
"Yes. Yes, please." Jim swallows and the tension is gone instantly. He had missed it too much.
They settle at a small table already arranged with a board set up to start playing and afterwards Jim can somewhat get some sleep, mind finally at ease.
x
Spock pulls Jim aside in the hallway a few evenings later and suggests they skip their nightly game. Jim's stricken face elicits a pang from Spock and the Vulcan quickly opens his mouth to explain, "You need rest and so do I."
He can see the panic Jim hides, immediately nodding and launching into a ramble, "Right, shit, I've been keeping you up so much. Pike is going to throttle me for messing with your sleep schedule just to play-"
"Come to my room tonight."
Jim blinks.
He doesn't speak, looking up at Spock with those expressive brows and piercing eyes, his wide mouth set tightly and waiting for the other to clarify whatever that abrupt statement meant.
"I had an interesting conversation with Lieutenant Uhura," Spock starts slowly, only continuing when Jim nods, "She hypothesised I might be able to help soothe your mind due to my telepathic attributes."
Clarity shows on Jim's face.
"Ah- well, that's nice but I won't want to impose on you with something like that. I know you're not big on touch and everything."
"I will be able to endure it due to my inner shields that remain stable, it will be no inconvenience."
"But what's in this for you? I'd like to think it's cause we're friends but…"
"She also thinks I need… Company."
"Like, physically?"
"Yes."
Jim is sure it's not what it sounds like but his traitorous body reacts anyway, heart lurching in his chest.
"Okay. We can try." He says, ignoring the thrum of his blood.
It's awkward at first, neither really knowing how to do this and Jim feels like a teenager all over again. It makes him laugh actually and he flushes a bright red when Spock questions him. He really wasn't going to explain his stupid brain connecting this to virginity right now.
So he just shakes his head and makes the first move, lying down on his usual side of the bed. Spock stands at the foot of the bed a moment longer before he finally stops thinking about whatever, Jim couldn't imagine what was going on his head, and goes to the other side. He slides under the covers, adjusting himself until he is comfortable and only then does Jim remember to breathe.
"So what now?"
"May I touch your face? I believe any part can but perhaps this will be more effective."
Jim nods dumbly and turns onto his side, mimicking Spock.
There's almost no space between them now, Spock leaning over for a second to tug the blankets over them both and Jim has the most intense impulsive urge to grab and kiss him again but he manages to restrain himself at the last second. Spock lays back down, inching his hand closer until it settles against the side of Jim's face. He's not sure how all of this will work, "What are you even going to-"
Everything fades. It's like Spock's touch completely wipes out the thoughts keeping him awake. Everything is pulled from him and sleep envelopes him almost immediately, mind blanketed by a feeling of sweet nothing. His eyes slip shut, the image of Spock the only thing he sees before he's under.
And so they start sleeping together. Only literally - Jim tries not to feel disappointed.
Though the touching slowly starts to get more as well. By the fourth month Jim barely even realises it and doesn't understand why everyone looks so shocked whenever he touches Spock's arm or vice versa. He's sure after dinner everyone thinks they're fucking but he doesn't say anything and tries to reign it in a bit. They probably see either leaving the other's room all the time after obviously having slept and of course that would seem suspiciously like they were having sex - no one would think they're actually sleeping. No one knows of his insomnia besides Spock, Sam and the doctor. He caves later that week and tells Spock about it, who then agrees they should keep it to a minimum. But Jim misses it - misses the instant relief Spock's fingers bring when they brush his and of course Spock notices.
At dinner, the mess hall is unusually busy. Jim is rather on edge, hiding behind his smiling facade as the others around the table talk loudly. Spock sits next to him, their hands so close on top of the table but not quite touching - Jim wants to touch him but everyone would notice and it irritates Jim. Yet Spock indulges him, Jim thinks, because he gently ghosts a finger across Jim's knuckles and the small sensation lights him up on the inside. Jim instantly eases up much to Spock's approval.
Whatever it is between them, Spock cannot say and he doesn't want it to stop.
So even though they agreed to keep their sleeping together to a minimum, they did not stop their physical contact. Gentle strokes of fingers here and there, a secretive hand squeeze or a gentle touch against the other's waist - anything to not be completely cut off from the other.
x
The week before Jim is set to leave, he is persuaded to go drinking with the others but Spock declines in favour of retiring early to meditate. Jim misses him the entire time and after he finds his way to Spock's room even when intoxicated, nearly falling through the door.
"Lieutenant? "
Jim blinks.
Spock stands a few feet away, back straightening and shoulders poised. He's dressed casually in a black shirt that hugs his fit and lean form and a pair of black pants slightly too big for him. They hang low on his hips and fall to cover his feet, which are bare against the carpeted floor. Woah, he looks so good .
"Sorry," Jim stutters, shaking his head.
Spock closes the book that was held between his slender fingers and places it carefully on the table before he makes his way to Jim.
He staggers slightly and Spock's hand presses into the curve of his back, pinky brushing along the sliver of skin where his shirt had pulled up and Jim fights the urge to make a noise. Spock's fingers had never elicited such a strong response before.
With his hands on Jim, Spock really notices how much smaller and leaner he is compared to the Vulcan. It's quite endearing in a way - being strong yet beautiful at the same time. Spock looks him over again and he can feel the way Jim reacts beneath his touch, skin erupting in gooseflesh and breath stuttering.
"D-Did I disturb your reading?" Jim speaks up.
"Trying to read ," Spock corrects him gently, "I have been looking for a distraction I must admit."
Jim stays quiet and then he leans in, suddenly pressed against Spock's broad chest, "So you haven't found one yet?"
Usually they would be playing chess, going over reports together, talking about past missions and so on - so no, he has not found a distraction yet.
Spock nods slowly, "None seem to be sufficient."
He's already too far gone, too dependent on the human already.
"How about me?"
Spock takes a breath, "I don't understand."
"I can be.. A distraction?" Jim's voice is soft like he fears rejection but his gaze is firm and sure.
Spock can't answer right away, his voice catching in his throat as he thinks. He's not sure what the other means but there is something in his words that Spock is sure means more than what they've been doing up till now. Jim's fingers slowly crawled over his, warm and delightful and Spock lost himself there.
"You can say no." Jim assures even as his hands slide up to cup Spock's jaw.
But Spock can't. It's been weeks of whatever this between them was. It's been weeks of looking forward to every second he could spend in Jim's time, weeks since they began initiating physical touch and occasionally sharing a bed only to sleep soundly - better than he had before. And it's been weeks since they first kissed and Spock has found himself wishing to do it again every single day after it first happened.
His hands trail to hold Jim's waist and give it a gentle squeeze - confirmation.
Jim doesn't hesitate, he surges forward to kiss Spock and the science officer eagerly receives his mouth and takes every ounce of emotion he can from Jim's lips.
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