Work Text:
When sasaki announced the Squad were having a movie night the reactions varied, Saiko was more than excited, ready to pull out some of her favorite films for everyone to enjoy, Shirazu was indifferent so long as they didn't have to watch a romcom, Urie and Mutsuki just shrugged in unison.
“everyone gets to pick one movie to watch, saiko no snuff films like last time”
“It wasn't a real snuff film it just looked like one”
“Mutsuki cried for almost three hours, don't do it again!”
“uuuugh fine!”
Saiko got to go first with the assurance that it wasn't traumatic, edgey or otherwise gore filled. Instead she chose one of her favorite monster movies of the time, Pacific Rim. It was cool to say the least, even Urie seemed to be enjoying it for the most part, that was until Mutsuki leaned in and rested his head on his boyfriends shoulder. It was getting close to the end of the movie when Sasaki noticed out of the corner of his eye that neither of the two were paying attention to the screen, just on each other sharing whispered conversations.
It was tolerable… for now
Next was a movie Sasaki selected, he had read reviews online about it but really felt he had to watch it for himself to understand why so many people called it ‘unexpected’. He didn't tell Shirazu it was a romcom, knowing he would complain, and things were actually going well.
The ginger haired boy was laughing along with the somewhat slapstick humour, almost a little too loud, and Saiko was giggling quietly to herself. Urie and Mutsuki on the other hand had started, non too subtlety, kissing on the couch.
He was tempted to just kick his leg out and knock one of the boys off the couch so they would stop, but the closest one was Mutsuki and he didn't want to hurt the sweet small boy.
“would you two get a room?”
Shirazu complained, tossing a piece of popcorn that bounced off Uries forehead and onto the carpet.
“were as entitled to staying in this room as you are” Urie hissed back.
Sasaki just sighed, “Could you two maybe tone it down on the kissing then?”
Urie just glared at him from beside Mutsuki, a look of complete defiance on his face as he gripped the back of Mutsuki’s head and pulled him in for a deeper kiss, much to everyones displeasure but their own. Mutsuki just giggled against Urie’s lips while Shirazu groaned in frustration, the current squad leader could see the dark haired boy slip his hand under the smaller ones shirt, and where their mouths connected is that a tongue? thats a tongue eew eew no oh my god.
“Just don't look at them, it should be easy to block it out”
“they’re always being gross though”
“its just what people do when they're dating watch the damn movie”
The suggestion would have been acknowledged and acted upon if it weren't for the films current content. A couple were starting to get very very intimate, a female and male, both aggressively removing each others clothes while latching at each others mouths.
And then there were a pair of full breasts exposed to the screen, instantly Shirazu slapped his hands over Saiko’s eyes and stared at the screen. The small girl tugged at his sleeve to try to get a view of them again, Sasaki was mortified.
He stood quickly, took a hold of Saiko by her underarms and promptly dragged her out of the living room, she complained the whole time, whining and thumping her feet on the ground, repeating “let me see the tiddies mamman!”
Sasaki had to return to pull Shirazu away. Being a Squad mother was hard work and he sure the hell wasn't ready to sit through a sex scene in a movie with his sort of children, what if someone didn't understand anything? he didn't even know if the academy had a proper sex education program just yet.
It was apparently “nothin he aint seen before”, Sasaki wasn't wanting to ask where he had seen them but being a nineteen year old male with a strong wifi signal in the house he didn't have to think much.
He didn't think much for removing Urie and Mutsuki though, it was almost as if they were trying to become one whole entity they were pressed to each other so tightly. They simply used the once occupied couch space, now vacant, to lay down on to continue making out.
Sasaki didn't want to try. He just left them.
The couple was much too distracted, Mutsuki was eager to take Urie’s shirt off, as they broke apart for air they had a moment of still which was ultimately interrupted by the sharp moan of a woman on the Television screen.
“Ah! Michael! harder- give it to me harder“ the blonde on screen screeched.
Urie had a moment where he just laughed, a low cross between a chuckle and a giggle, which was strange to hear from the man. Mutsuki followed, somehow the movie Sasaki chose out changed from a funny, romantic story of quirky roommates to full blown B grade pornography.
Who would have guessed.
“How didn't we notice?” Mutsuki gawked
“holy fuck, this is too funny -” Urie huffed in response, trying to calm the bubbling fit in his lungs “- why is she screaming?”
“do people actually make noises like that? is this a european thing? or a straight person thing?”
“Mutsuki turn it off, this is awful, kill it now”
“I cant find the remote”
“i cant take my eyes off it though”
Mutsuki just covered his boyfriends eyes with his hands, crawling on top of him to keep him from watching any further. They spent the remaining ten minutes of the severely unexpected movie fighting with their hands to prevent the other from viewing or hearing what was going on.
From that point on there were no more squad movie nights, and Mutsuki and Urie had added another ‘inside joke’ to their slowly expanding list.