Work Text:
FADE IN:
INT: A BAR SOMEWHERE - ??
Music is playing faintly from a jukebox in the corner - some crooner, could be Vic Fontaine, hard to tell. NOG, in his Starfleet uniform, is sitting at the bar with a half-empty glass of root beer in front of him and his cane propped against the stool. RADAR, in fatigues and visibly exhausted, enters and takes a stool two down from Nog. Before he can order, the BARTENDER puts a bottle and a straw in front of him.
RADAR
Oh, thanks.
He takes a long sip.
RADAR
Gosh, that’s good. Still got the bubbles and everything.
NOG
What is that?
RADAR
Grape Ne-hi.
NOG
I’ve never heard of that.
RADAR
Here, you can try it if you like.
He slides the bottle over to Nog, who takes a suspicious sniff and then sips. He slides it back to Radar.
NOG
Very interesting. I think I’ll stick to root beer, though.
RADAR
Oh yeah, root beer’s pretty yummy too. I like all kinds of soda pop, I guess. Grape Ne-hi’s just my favorite.
NOG
You look like you’ve had a long day, if you don’t mind my saying so.
Radar sighs.
RADAR
There was a big push up at the front. We’ve had so many wounded guys come through, we had to turn the mess tent into another post-op.
NOG
Pose top?
RADAR
Oh, I’m stationed at a MASH unit.
Nog is still visibly confused.
RADAR (CONT)
It stands for mobile army surgical unit.
NOG
Ahh I see, you’re in a war?
RADAR
Yeah, about five miles from the front. When guys get wounded they send ‘em over to a MASH unit like us so our doctors can fix ‘em up. I’m not a doctor or anything like that, I’m just the company clerk, but everyone pitches in.
NOG
What does a company clerk do?
RADAR
All kinds of stuff. I mainly help the C.O. just keep everything running nice and smooth. Answering the phone, delivering mail, getting supplies.
NOG
Sounds pretty important to me!
RADAR
(flattered)
I guess so. I sure have learned a lot.
NOG
I know what you mean. Sometimes I’m convinced my head is actually getting bigger from everything I’ve learned since I joined Starfleet.
RADAR
You mean it wasn’t always that size?!
NOG
(chuckling)
Just a joke, friend.
RADAR
Oh okay.
Beat.
RADAR (CONT)
So, Starfleet? Is that like the army?
NOG
Sort of. Our primary mission is exploration, but we're always ready to protect the Federation. Or even the whole quadrant! We’re in a war right now, too.
RADAR
What kind of army is only an army sometimes?
NOG
Well from my understanding, it’s technically more of a navy.
RADAR
’s’all the same as far as I see it. If folks are getting hurt I don’t think it matters what you call it.
NOG
You're probably right about that.
RADAR
And you said you joined? On purpose?
NOG
Of course! How else would someone join?
RADAR
Well, I was drafted.
NOG
Drafted?
RADAR
The government comes and makes you join up. Sometimes guys get out of it, but mostly there’s nothin’ you can do about it. You’re stuck in the army, or the navy or wherever, until they send you home, or you uh, you know.
NOG
That’s barbaric!
RADAR
Yeah it’s not so good.
NOG
How long have you been at this MASH place?
RADAR
’bout two years now.
NOG
Is it far from your home?
RADAR
Six thousand four hundred and sixty seven miles.
NOG
Do you get to visit?
RADAR (snapping)
How on earth would I do that?
NOG
Oh right, old Earth technology. I’m sorry.
A long silence. The Bartender replaces both their drinks.
NOG (CONT)
I never really thought about how lucky I am. Even with everything going on, I get to see my family back on the station. It’s…different, though. They can’t really understand what I’ve been through in combat.
RADAR
You seen a lot of fighting?
NOG
Yes. I’ve…seen a lot of people die. Friends.
(long pause)
And I lost my leg.
Radar stares down at Nog’s legs.
RADAR
I-I don’t wanna be rude but-
NOG
Yes, it’s a biosynthetic leg. It’s fake, but part of me just like my real one was. It still hurts though.
RADAR
Gee, I’m sorry - but wow, I wish our doctors could do that! Don’t get me wrong, they’re the best ever, but where we’re from when guys lose an arm or a leg, that’s it.
NOG
(bitter, as if reciting lines)
I know, I know, I’m really lucky. We almost didn’t get to the hospital in time. It might not have worked. With plenty of rest I’ll be back on duty in a few months. Great.
RADAR
I bet you can’t wait to leave your star fleet when it’s all over, huh?
NOG
Leave? I haven’t thought about leaving. I haven’t even finished my time at the Academy.
RADAR
You left school to be a soldier?
NOG
I was on Deep Space Nine for my field studies when the war started. I helped out on some missions and then I got an early promotion.
RADAR
(agitated)
Well that’s not so different from me, I got drafted outta high school! I had to finish my diploma by correspondence from Korea. If you ask me they should’ve let you go back instead of making you fight.
NOG
But I wanted to fight! I wanted to prove myself!
RADAR
I don’t understand that, there are guys coming through here all the time saying stuff like that and I think they’re all crazy. What’s so good about being a soldier?
NOG
Well we have to, we have to stop the Dominion! I didn’t think about all the - the death at first, I just wanted everyone to be proud of me! I’m the first Ferengi in Starfleet, I had to show them I could be a real Starfleet officer!
RADAR
Oh and killin’ makes you a real officer?
That stops Nog cold.
NOG
(subdued)
My uncle would say no. Maybe for hoo-mons. Not for me.
RADAR
Your uncle is right. Except it’s no good for humans either. I’m lucky I don’t have to go out and fight, but I’ve seen a lot of people’s insides and a lot of dead bodies. Kids, too, civilians. Everybody gets hurt. Like you and your leg.
NOG
Maybe I will leave, I don’t know! Maybe I’ll just try to stay out of the war. But Starfleet is all I want to do; I don’t want to be like my father, or my uncle. I want to explore the galaxy and show everyone that a Ferengi can do great things too, not just run some shady business! What else could I do?
RADAR
Well I don’t know. But it sounds like they didn’t do right by ya, letting you fight.
NOG
Maybe not.
RADAR
And how do you know your sometimes-navy won’t get in another war after this one?
NOG
I don’t, okay! I don’t know anything right now. I just know my leg hurts and I want to go home.
They drink in silence for a minute.
RADAR
Hey, I’m sorry I got kinda pushy. Guess I’m still on edge, I barely got any sleep all week. I can drink to goin’ home.
He holds out his bottle - Nog follows with his glass.
NOG
Home.
They cheers and drink.
NOG (CONT)
This MASH of yours sounds like a pretty tough place to work.
RADAR
It sure is hard. But I have my animals. Takin’ care of ‘em gives me something to do that’s not all about army stuff and hospital stuff, which is nice. Although I guess I kind of take care of everybody else too, just tryin’ to get them everything they need. And it’s not so easy, you know! I have to do a lot of trading sometimes just to get us enough medicine, or a movie to watch.
NOG
(perking up a bit)
Trading, you say?
RADAR
Yeah, like if we need more gloves and another unit has extra, but they don’t want anything we have but I know another guy who has a case of the fancy scotch that their C.O. likes but he wants a movie that I’d have to get for him from a whole other unit-
NOG
My friend, it sounds to me like you are a capable paddler in the rapids of the Great River!
RADAR
…huh?
NOG
Let me tell you about the Great Material Continuum!…
As Nog continues pontificating, dialogue fades. FADE OUT.